A THOUSAND DOLLARS

A THOUSAND DOLLARS

By George B. Curtis

If I had a lot of money,

That I wished to give away,
I'd call upon my preacher friends

A little test I'd lay.

I'd call them all together,

And explain to them a plan,
Whereby a thousand dollars

Would be given to each man.

The plan it would be simple,

Anyone could get it straight;
The language would be paraphrase

Of Acts two thirty-eight.

They'd ask of me, "What shall we do?"

I'd answer them as follows:
Be baptized, each one of you

For a thousand silver dollars.

My Baptist friend would shed his coat,

And cease his "because of" prattle;
He'd know the meaning of this "for"

When he heard the silver rattle.

Friend Methodist, too, without a doubt

This "for" could understand,
If the understanding meant for him

A thousand smackers in his hand.

Not one of them would argue back

And you can write it down,
Within thirty minutes, there'd not be

A dry preacher in the town.

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