Methodist Coffee

METHODIST COFFEE

Here is a pleasant story,

Which I will tell in rhyme,
About a certain preacher

Who lived in recent time.

He was a circuit-rider,

Of good John Wesley's brand,
And rode the finest circuit

In all this blessed land.

At one of his good charges,

Some members, not a few,
Became right sorely troubled

About the word "into."

The Good Book said quite plainly,

Acts 8, "they came unto,"
And went down into water,

As Baptist people do.

The parson preached a sermon,

With zeal and power and might,
And to his satisfaction

He set the passage right.

"Into there don't mean into,

But at, or near, or by,
They went down to the water

And got a small supply."

Now, near this place of worship

There lived a Sister Brown,
Who by her splendid cookery

Had gained a great renown.

He yellow-legged chickens,

Her luscious cakes and pies,
Oft made the circuit-rider

Roll up his weeping eyes!

And her delicious coffee,

On all the circuit round,
The preacher oft admitted

Its like could not be found.

So when he preached a sermon

Of extra power and length,
He loved at the Brown table

To rectify his strength.

But Sister Brown was Baptist,

The stoutest in the land,
And oft reproved the Methodists

For changing God's command.

She heard Br'er Jones' sermon,

And thought the subject o'er,
But asked him home to dinner,

As she had done before.

She ground her good brown coffee,

(The kettle steaming hot,)
And put it at, not into,

The famous coffee-pot!

She poured Bre'er Jones a cup-full,

I think it was no sin:
"Why, sister, you've forgotten

To put the coffee in!"

"No, no, Br'er Jones, that's coffee,

I ground a good supply,
And then down by the kettle

I put it at -- near by!

By logic of your sermon,

(I thought it rather thin,)
If at or near means into,

I put the coffee in!

If you will strictly promise

No more such stuff to teach,
Nor dodge God's plain commandments

When you attempt to preach:

I'll go and make some coffee,

Just to a Bible dot,
And I will put the coffee

Into the coffee pot!"

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