UPS AND DOWNS OF A BAPTIST!

UPS AND DOWNS OF A BAPTIST!

Out in the land of Texas,

There lived a Baptist man,
Who served his God devoutly

As per the Baptist plan.

He had strong faith in Jesus,

Repented of his sin,
And on a good experience

He had been voted in.

Then in a near-by river

Was dipped beneath the wave,
And felt quite good and happy

On rising from that grave.

But he was much in error

To think his troubles o'er,
And on the way to glory

Would never sorrow more.

There came along a preacher,

(And Burnett was his name,)
For proselyting Baptists

He had extended fame.

He told this friendly Baptist:

"You're one of God's elect,
And on the way to heaven,

But Baptists are a sect.

You ought to leave the party,

Lay off the party brand,
And simply be a Christian,

And with all Christians stand!"

The Baptist man accepted.

He wanted to be right,
And joined that zealous people,

They nickname Campbellite.

It made the brethren happy,

They sang a gospel song,
And shook his hand delighted

As they all passed along.

He went his way rejoicing,

He thought his troubles o'er,
But he was worse mistaken

Than he had been before.

He sold his home at Dallas,

And moved away out west,
Where saints ride divers hobbies,

And each thinks his the best.

He met another preacher,

McGary, fierce and bold,
Who said "You are deluded,

And still outside the fold.

'Twas right to leave the Baptists,

For they are all in sin,
But Burnett was in error

To try to 'shake you in.'

You ought to learn the gospel,

(I teach it big and fine,)
Be baptized for remission,

With faith in the design."

This upset the poor brother,

He wished to get it right,
He joined the bold McGary,

Was dipped the selfsame night.

He went his way rejoicing,

"My troubles now are o'er.
I read my title clearer

Than ever yet before."

There came another preacher,

His name was J. P. Nall,
And he bestrode a hobby,

The grandest one of all.

" 'Twas right to leave the Baptists,

And wear the Christian name,
As Bro. Burnett taught you,

A. Campbell taught the same.

McGary led you further,

(He is a warrior fine,)
And the great thing essential

Is faith in the design.

But I teach the CONFESSION,

Not with a nod of head,
Or simple yes, but speak it.

Just what the eunuch said."

Our nonplussed friend accepted,

He wished to do it all,
And in a western river

Was dipped by J. P. Nall.

"My doubts are all now ended,

I'll reach fair Canaan's shore,
This last is surely valid,

They shall not was me more!"

Alas, he was mistaken,

The worst is yet behind,
And some big waves of trouble

Will roll upon his mind.

He met another preacher,

Who came upon the scene,
Who holds the no-soul doctrine,

And prints at Abilene.

"Poor man, you're wholly mortal,

An earthly sprout or bud,
And God Almighty made you

Of atmosphere and mud.

Your washing was delusion,

Your kingdom's in the sky,
Your FAITH'S not in the gospel,

But in the 'devil's lie!' "

Our worried friend accepted,

These Sadduccean fibs,

And in a muddy river

Was dipped by Wm. Gibbs.

"Four times I have been buried

Beneath the watery wave,
If God hath any mercy,

He surely now will save."

Again he is deluded,

He had not reached the goal,
Of hobby-humbug folly,

Poor, pious, honest soul!

There came one Georgie Savage,

Just in the niche of time,
To finish out the lesson,

And finish out my rhyme.

"Bre'r Gibbs has rightly taught you

A portion of the plan,
That there's no soul or spirit

Within a mortal man.

But I go one step further,

In theologic search:
There is no Holy Spirit,

In body called the church.

He came down at Jerusalem,

And made a little stay,
Inspired twelve apostles,

And then he went away.

This is the new-found gospel,

As you have doubtless heard,
We need no Spirit in us,

Since we can read the word.

I know that Jesus promised

The Spirit would remain
On earth with his disciples,

And said it mighty plain.

And Paul said we're the temple,

But (while it looks absurd,)
He don't dwell there in person,

But only by his word.

For Christ's church was defunctus,

A thousand years or so,
And he had not a temple

Or body here below.

The Holy Spirit vamoosed,

When the old fabric fell,
And where (since then) he dwelleth

We have no means to tell!

We've got a brand new outfit,

It's hardly yet four-score,
And we have got a Bible,

And don't need any more.

This is a great improvement

On what A. Campbell said,
For he was once a Baptist,

And he is also dead.

By help of Johnny Denton,

The great North Sulphur sage,
I'll spread this new philosophy

On many a printed page.

And also Doctor Holloway,

From Petersburg has come,
And with his No-Ghost pellets

Will show that he is some.

And the great Firm Foundation

Will lend its might aid,
And soon we'll lay old Campbell

And Burnett in the shade!"

Our friend was now disgusted;

The foolish things he heard
Aroused his soul within him,

And he was greatly stirred.

"I'll go right back to Burnett,

On the old Canaan route,
Not in the church to shake me,

But shake the nonsense out!"

Back to T.R. Burnett page