A CERTAIN WATER

A CERTAIN WATER

Of all the various preachers

In this free gospel land,
None have had grater trouble

Than Wesley's zealous band:

About that text of Scripture,

Quite old, but ever new,
Where Philip and the eunuch,

Acts 8, "WENT DOWN INTO."

A good old pious sister,

Strict, zealous, honest soul,
Had some big waves of trouble

Across her breast to roll.

She read how preacher Philip,

While riding on the way,
Did not invite the eunuch

Up to a bench to pray;

But preached to him the gospel,

Till he received the faith,
Then went down in the water,

As our good Bible saith.

He did not "get religion,"

As Wesley's people do,
Nor was there any labor

To get the mourner through.

When he believed that Jesus

Was truly God's own Son,
He went down in the water,

And the great work was done.

This queer and strange conversion

Aroused her pious soul,
For she was only sprinkled

Our of a little bowl!

She called on her good pastor,

The Rev. Silas Brown,
Who had for mending Scripture

A very great renown.

"My sister, this is easy,

I can your fears allay,
If you will give attention

To what I have to say."

"The passage he was reading,

As clear as noonday sun,
('So shall he sprinkle nations,')

Tells how the work was done."

"That text which you have quoted."

Good Sister Jones replied,
Is in another chapter"---

The preacher sadly sighed!

"Please tell about the river,

Or creek they 'came unto,'
The Book says 'certain water,'

How does that look to you?"

"My dear, deluded sister,

That was a desert land,
And had no creeks or rivers

Or ponds on every hand."

"Besides, the noble eunuch,

Long journey he was on,
No doubt had in the chariot

A jug or demijohn."

"Ah, yes!" replied the sister,

"That sets the matter right,
I now see this hard question

In quite a different light."

"You've put a brand-new idea

In my poor mental mug,
Both Philip and the eunuch

Went down into--the jug!"

"But stop--that 'certain water'

The travelers came unto,
It was not in the chariot;

Please those two words construe."

"Ahem--my precious sister,

That is a problem deep,
And has caused learned sages

To lose a lot of sleep."

"But now a noted scholar,

The greatest of his race,
Has found a grand solution

Of this most trying case."

"He says the 'certain water'

(Grand blessings on his soul!)
Was but a track of camel,

Or just a crawfish hole!"

"Ah, that is plain and simple,

(We are such stupid drones!)
I should have learned it sooner,"

Quoth the good Sister Jones.

"No longer waves of trouble

Will o'er my bosom roll,
Both Philip and the eunuch

Went in the crawfish hole!"

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