Training Children (No. 2)

By Roy Loney

[Page 12]

     Here are certain principles to guide parents who desire their children to grow up to be useful to their fellowmen and an honor to God.

1. You must establish your authority, as a parent over your children. The divine command was not that parents be subject to their children, but the reverse (Eph. 6:1). The secret of all proper control of children is to establish in their hearts a recognition of authority. This should start at the earliest possible age. Parents who do not insist on obedience are doing their children a great wrong. See that a command is obeyed even if a severe whipping is required. Physical punishment will not cause a child nearly so much suffering as to go out into the world with a wrong mental attitude. We live in a social world in contact with people of varied dispositions. There can be no harmonious relationship unless we submit to the laws of man and recognize the rights of every individual.
   
        The child who is not taught to submit to authority in the home will find life in school very difficult. I have seen parents who acted as if they were afraid of their children, and dared not oppose them. I do not imply that a child should be so handled as to dread the parents, but one will not respect a parent who does not insist on immediate obedience. The Lord condemned Eli, the high priest, because "his sons made themselves vile, and he restrained them not" (1 Sam. 3:13). This neglect brought great sorrow to Eli and death to his sons. Even the saintly Samuel lived to see his sons become a reproach unto Israel (1 Sam. 8:1-11) so that the restraints over Israel were weakened and they unwisely demanded a king. Our children, too, will be demanding that which is not for their good, unless we control them in sensible moderation.
   
        Many times I have seen parents admonish a child, then pay little attention to the child's reaction. If a child learns that he can disobey with immunity, respect for authority will not exist in his heart. A child who continues in disobedience, refusing to heed the parent's command should be made to feel the pain of real punishment. Firm, disciplinary control is not hard to establish if the parents act wisely, and do not weaken. Forbidding a child to do a certain thing, then supinely permitting the child to disobey is sure to result in impairment of his sense of values, and is an encouragement to sin.
   
   
2. Teach your children the advantages of right living, and the disadvantages of

   [Page 13]

   wrong living. The expressions "Crime does not pay" and "The way of the transgressor is hard" should be drilled into the heart. I do not believe in paying a child for obedience. He must learn that the real reward for obedience will be found in his own heart. A child who learns to respect the rights of others will find association with others will bring great happiness and pleasure. It is not hard to make a child learn by experience that "It is more blessed to give them to receive" and a child trained in social consciousness and unselfishness will find contacts with others to be rewarding. When a child learns by teaching and experience that kindness toward others will bring happiness to himself, he will develop conduct that results in formation of lovable character.
   
        The evils of wrong doing can be pointed out in the lives of drunkards and criminals, who pay a fearful price for their indulgence. Ahab coveted his neighbor's vineyard, which ultimately led to murder (1 Kings 21), while Abraham, who willingly paid a generous price for a burial place for his wife, won the respect and love of his neighbors (Genesis 23). The peaceful closing days of the life of Abraham make an impressive contrast to the tragic death of the wicked Ahab. Other case histories can be used to impress upon the childish mind the advantages of right living. High idealism planted deeply in the heart of a child will, in maturity, lift his life above the sordid and debasing things of earth. As the pure air of the mountain top is to be preferred above the stench and muck of the swamps, so a life of unselfishness and high idealism is to be preferred to a sordid life of selfish desires. (To be continued.)