The Great Appreciation Dinner

By Talmadge F. McNabb

[Page 100]

     The small town only had a population of less than 1,500 persons. It was a lovely little village, nestled peacefully in a valley between the mountains. It was the kind of quaint looking village that an artist might be inspired to paint were he looking down on the valley from the surrounding mountain peaks. Church steeples lowered upward. The red brick schoolhouse stood at the center. The village stores were scattered here and there along the main highway. In the evenings smoke rose invitingly and curled upward, bespeaking chestnut and oak wood burning in kitchen stoves from whose depths arose tantalizing aromas of home-cooked bread and roast chicken.

     Looking down on the village from the nearby hills, one could hardly dream there could ever arise a ripple of disturbance anywhere. One could not but thank God for such tranquility, such peacefulness, such serenity, in a world of tension and turmoil.

     But in learning about the religious life of the community, one found there were at least twelve different Protestant denominations. The regrettable thing, however, was that four of these churches held heritage in a Restoration movement that

[Page 101]

had been inaugurated to bring God's people into unity. These tour churches all had "Church of Christ" painted on a sign over their doors. One had a piano and the other three were non-instrumental. But neither one of the four would fellowship any of the other three. Most of the divisions had occurred so long ago that the newer generation hardly knew what caused the original separations. For years now each had gone its own way, conducting its annual "gospel meeting," making up its own bulletin, and more or less holding its own.

     But something new arose to trouble the otherwise peaceful little town. One of the larger non-instrumental churches was having trouble in its ranks. It all began over a difference in interpretation on a single scripture. One morning in a Bible class, the teacher read Paul's admonition to the Romans, "Salute (greet) one another with an holy kiss. The churches of Christ salute you." (Romans 16:16). One man spoke up and said that since that was talking about them, the church of Christ, why didn't they greet one another with an holy kiss? Since their motto was we speak where the Bible speaks and are silent where the Bible is silent, why not practice what Paul told them to do?

     Another brother spoke up and contested that people would think of them as downright silly if they went around greeting one another with an holy kiss. Besides, some modern translations stated that as meaning simply a handshake. Some sisters joined in by staling the modern translations could not be trusted, and were the work of modernists, so they couldn't go by that. Another brother read the scripture where women were not to speak in church in the first place!

     In the ensuing months the controversy continued to wax hot amongst the members, until, finally, almost before anyone fully realized what was happening, the people in the church awakened to find they were divided into two warring factions. The larger faction said they were going to stick by their traditions, and continue to greet one another with a handshake. They had been doing it that way all along. The somewhat smaller faction said no matter what others did, they must obey the scripture and do what it said to do. Those believing in handshaking as a greeting stigmatized the other faction as the "Holy Kissers." Those believing in greeting with an holy kiss, dubbed the others as the "Hand-Shakers."

     Finally the Hand Shakers said they were good and tired of the Holy Kissers causing so much trouble, bringing in an innovation; if they wanted to practice their holy kissing, let them get out and start their own church, and build their own meeting house.

     And that is exactly what those believing in greeting with the holy kiss did! Let the liberals have the building! They were so set in their ways, they'd never change anyway, no matter what the scriptures so plainly said. Those retaining the building felt likewise relieved to have the Holy Kissers out of the way. After all, these antis who had left them were contentious, and little more than a sect. Good riddance!

     But erecting another church building did not solve the problems nor bring peace to the religious community. The Holy Kissers kept contending they were the true custodians of the gospel. They even had a paper published by their party at Lufville called the Gospel Protector. The Hand Shakers just as strongly kept contending they were keeping the old paths and had not digressed. They had a paper representing their views, published at Nashkin, called the Gospel Emphasizer. In fact, it was sometimes called "The Old Reliable."

     Neither faction had visited the other's services since the separation. But one day the Hand Shakers sent a proposition over to the Holy Kissers, a challenge for a debate. The Holy Kissers were not necessarily looking for a debate, but they could not let that challenge go unheeded. As soon as they found a strong representative man, they would accept. Meanwhile, one of the strong preachers amongst the Hand Shakers had read all the books he

[Page 102]

could find that would support his idea that Christians should greet one another only with a handshake, and had boned himself up on all the arguments and logic involved. In fact, he had already conducted quite a few debates on the subject, and had come out more than victorious according to those attending from the Hand Shake side. This would be the man selected to represent them. The Holy Kissers heard about a preacher who had made himself an outstanding reputation in defending the Holy Kiss in debate. In fact, he had rousted out the Handshakers wherever he had gone, and was said to have victoriously won every debate on the subject. To call him for a debate was a guaranteed certainty of victory for the cause.

     So the great debate was held, people came from 17 different states, as far away as Kansas and Florida. The local town hall was packed out, extra chairs were lined around the walls; the people had never seen such a crowd since Uncle Dave Macon, of Grand Ole Opry fame, had put on a hillbilly concert there years ago. It had cost both sides much money to import their nationally renowned debaters, and the expenses at the town hall had mounted. When the four nights of debate were over, both sides claimed victory! People from the Baptists, Presbyterian and Methodist churches who attended or heard about the debate were both amused and confused as to what was going on. Whatever it was, they wanted to stay as far away from it as possible.

     The debaters each went back to his respective distant home, and the churches settled down again. A survey was run to find out the results of the debate, and it was found that not a single convert was made from one faction to the other, but each faction had been strengthened in its conviction that it alone had the correct interpretation. It would take years to heal the widened rift that had been brought about on the disputing arena. The debating gladiators had fought hard, and desperately called names, and had spared nothing by way of strong words, sarcasm, ridicule and accusation, in order to assure victory for their respective sides.

     As time passed, the Holy Kiss advocates ceased making an issue of their interpretation, and came to the conclusion that it was not how you greeted someone, but the spirit in which it was done that was important. And love was the thing that mattered most, anyway. In fact, they ceased calling for a representative disputant for their side and the Holy Kiss debater finally ceased debating because of lack of interest. The Hand Shakers were not so quick to let the matter die, however. The Holy Kisser's lack of interest in debating, they thought, was an indication that the Hand Shakers had indeed been victorious. Their champion debater had continued trouncing over the country and challenging others. According to reports in the Gospel Emphasizer, he had vanquished every Holy Kiss foe, until that false doctrine had almost been thrown out of the church, lock, stock and barrel!

     Years passed by. One day an announcement appeared in the Gospel Emphasizer that at the forthcoming annual College Lectureship at Bond-Softman College, a school operated by members of the faction, the final night would be given to a Great Appreciation Dinner for Brother Vallace, the champion debater, who had so successfully routed the Holy Kiss error from the church. It would be a great dinner of honor, a banquet, speeches would be made, and the leading elders and preachers of the church would have special seats of honor.

     The final night of the Lectureship arrived. The college cafeteria was not large enough to hold the vast number who had made reservations, so folding chairs and tables were set up in the college gymnasium. Huge bouquets of flowers decked the tables, candles glowed, and the tables were set splendidly. On a front-center dais, a special "head table" was set up for the Guest of Honor. Seats were also included for other prominent leaders of the church, mostly the staff of the Emphasizer, and for the editor, who would be Master of Ceremonies. Such a sumptuous meal! Such splendor! Such a sense of

[Page 103]

triumphant victory everywhere! One almost expected to hear a blast of trumpets sound as Brother Vallace was ushered in, and everyone stood! Prayer was offered and the guests all sat down to enjoy the delicious steak dinner. As desserts were being finished, the editor of the Gospel Emphasizer rose to announce that this was a most momentous occasion, an occasion many had looked forward to for a long time. To honor a man who had vanquished every Holy Kiss foe from the church, and had saved the church from heresy! Paeans of praise burst forth from his lips. He finally brought his speech to a close, and said that there might be others who would want to offer words of praise for their Guest of Honor. If so, please come to the microphone. One after another made their way to the dais, and all told of how much they appreciated the great debater's contribution in saving their church from heresy. In fact, someone pointed out, the Holy Kisser's would not even support a debater for their side anymore, they were so defeated, and had so died down. And it was all due to Brother Vallace, who had saved the church from all this.

     When the last speaker had rendered his spiel, the Editor asked if there might be even one more who might have something to say. He didn't want to overlook anyone. After a short pause, while the Editor scanned the audience, an old man arose in the far back. His hair was white, his shoulders stooped, and he walked slowly with a cane. Yes, he would like to say something, could he have just a word?

     "Of course," the editor spoke through the mike. "Come right on up here, dear brother."

     All eyes were on the old man as he tottered toward the platform. The mike was lowered where he could get every word clearly across to the audience. All ears were glued to the speaker, anxious to know what this old man might have to say to climax such a delightfully successful banquet.

     The old man paused. He began to speak with deep emotion: "Brothers and sisters, I am an old man, as you see. I have seen a lot of things come and go in the church in my lifetime, since I was converted and baptized nearly 60 years ago. But I have a word for you. I speak out of my experiences. Listen to me. First of all, I think what has gone on here tonight is a stench in God's nostrils!"

     Deathly silence fell over the preachers, elders, and others attending. You could have heard a pin drop. The Editor of the Emphasizer nervously fumbled with his napkin. The Guest of Honor sat with downcast eyes. But no one stirred as the old man continued:

     "In the first place, the truth has not been told. The Holy Kiss people have not died out, and have not been vanquished. The truth is, they are not agitating for debaters, nor supporting their former champion, because they have found a better way, the way of love. They long ago came to the conclusion that while they personally preferred to greet one another with an holy kiss, as Paul recommended, they felt the most important thing was to greet one another with love. It was not the method that counted, so much as the spirit. They are not as strong as we are, of course, but they are doing a good work. In fact, over in the state just north of us they have a Bible College and are teaching the same gospel principles that are so dear to our hearts. Let us repent! Confess our lack of love! Confess our pride and arrogancy, and ask God to baptize us with love for all who are members of the body of Christ. I do not have many years left, but I have asked God to forgive me for the wasted years I spent agitating and fighting for an interpretation, an idea, that had nothing to do with man's salvation. I want to spend the rest of my days preaching God's love and winning lost souls to Jesus Christ. God bless all of you. This is all I have to say."

     As the old man made his way back to his seat, a pronounced stillness yet permeated the atmosphere. No one seemed to care to look up. The candlelight glowed on glistening tears that were seen

[Page 104]

in the eyes of some. Others had bowed heads over their tables, as though they might be heeding the old man's request, and asking God for forgiveness. The benediction was pronounced, nothing more was said, and the Great Appreciation Dinner was over. Quietly, very quietly, the banqueters slipped out of the building into the night. Each one was doing some deep thinking. Some very serious thinking. They could never be the same again.

     (The author is a chaplain in the U. S. Army. His address is: U. S. Army Student Detachment, Institute of Religion, Texas Medical Center, Houston, Texas 77025.)