Decalogue for Dialogue

By George Earle Owen

[Page 141]

     Thou shalt listen is the first law of dialogue. Beware of thinking constantly of what thou wouldest say, rather turn thine attention to what is being said.

     Thou shalt keep thy head and heart open to the shared experience of others, always willing to explore various alternatives in the quest for truth.

     Thou shalt cleanse thyself of the sins of presumptuousness, prejudice and pride. Beware lest thy egotism lead thee from the paths of truth and fresh insights into the bypaths of conceit, arrogance and ignorance.

     Thou shalt seek and speak the truth in love. Be keen but kind, critical but charitable.

     Thou shalt not impugn the motivations of others nor distort what they say. Only the foolish criticize a book not read.

[Page 142]

     Thou shalt be objective, separating the thing criticized from the person involved. Thou shalt be subjective, putting thyself in the other person's situation, as well as objective, lifting thyself out of thine own situation.

     Thou shalt not use the method of debate which endeavors to prove how wrong the other person is and how right thou art.

     Thou shalt not monopolize the conversation, nor intimidate the slow of speech who need to enter the dialogue. In open-ended dialogue there are no conversation stoppers. Thou shalt be specific, positive and constructive.

     Thou shalt seek first for common agreements and clarification before searching for faults and disagreements.

     Thou shalt respect one another as persons remembering that personality is the supreme value to which all other human values are relative and subordinate.