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Joseph Thomas The Life of the Pilgrim (1817) |
THE LIFE
OF THE
I, JOSEPH THOMAS, was born in North Carolina, Orange County, March 7th, 1791. My parents were natives of Pennsylvania, who, in an early period of their lives, soon after being wedded together, emigrated to the place where I was born, and being among the first settlers who penetrated the uncultivated wilds of that part of the country, soon found that frugality and industry were necessary to their subsistence, consequently they became innured to the common hardships of a labouring life, by which they soon obtained a comfortable competence. Some years rolled away when my parents found themselves possess of a considerable share of honest wealth, surrounded with several children, sons and daughters. The revolutionary war then came on, which soon spread devastation and death over that section of country. The British, commanded by Lord Cornwallas, stripped and devoured the last remains of my father's property, save his land only.
After this war my parents by their industry repaired their wasted fortune and obtained a second time a sufficient living. But alas! the sun which had in the morning shone so brilliantly beneficent, in the evening was seen to be obscured with darkning clouds and storms of dire adversity. Misfortunes and imprudence with united force blew with unremitted wrath upon my parents in their more advanced years, until all that had been accumulated was scattered and driven to oblivion. By this time they had nine children, seven sons and two daughters, the most of whom were grown men and women, but myself, being the youngest child. [3]
For the first seven years of my life, I had the guardian care of a dear father and the affectionate attention of a fond mother, in which time they taught me to read, write and cypher. In the year 1798, hard necessity demanded that I should be separated from father and mother, and it came to pass they my abode was appointed me under a strange and inhospitable roof, but under the pleasing expectation of going to school; however, instead of learning at school, I was taught in the corn field how to plough, and in the tobacco field how to top and succor the plant. At this unfriendly place I dwelt almost two years, during which time my opportunity of going to school was but seldom, but I had the comfort, and made use of every opportunity of reading a number of useful books given me by my father and others, of which the Economy of Human Life and the New Testament became my favorites.
During this time I had to bear the most cruel treatment, both as it respected hard labor and undeserved stripes, often suffering the extremes of hunger and cold, which sometimes brought me to consider, though at that early period, upon the uncertainty of earthly riches and the variety of change in human life. In this forlorn and wretched situation I was also brought to reflect upon death and a future state, and though at that time I had not sworn an oath, or had done any thing wilfully sinful, yet I was led to think I was not prepared to die, which would make me feel solemn and often weep, considering on the past and present situation of my parents and myself.
When I was about nine years old one of my brothers (who was a married man) living in Grayson County, Virginia, came and took me away from this cruel and unfriendly place, and I cheerfully went home with him, about 146 miles, from the place of my nativity. There I soon found myself as an orphan, or like one without father or mother, though in name had both, yet in reality had not the protection nor advice of the one, nor the affectionate caresses of the other, for mountains and rivers intervened between us. Here I had no one to look to for the support of my body, the improvement of my [4] mind, or the cultivation of my morals but my brother, and he, though very kind to me, of course, could not feel so deeply interested in those important matters as was essential to my well being. My brother's first concern seemed to be to engage me to a school adjacent to his abode, where I commenced going constantly for some months, and made a pleasing proficiency in reading, writing, and arithmetic.
About the first of December, 1801, when I was nearly ten years old, while living with my brother I was taken with the white swelling in my left knee, and was soon found unable to walk, or to stand on my feet, for about eighteen months. During this time I had to feel the most excruciating pain that a mortal is capable of undergoing, while the neighbors and family thought every day would be my last. In the midst of my emaciated state, my brother being absent, one day my sister-in-law found occasion to leave home on an errand to a neighbor, leaving me quite alone, lying on a bed in the distant end of the house; previous to her going she carried in some dry fuel and laid it in the chimney place between the fire and the chimney side. In a short time after her departure, the fuel caught fire and conveyed it to the side of the chimney, which was composed of dry pieces of wood, and was soon found in a furious blaze roaring up the chimney and gathering into the logs on that end of the house. Lying with my face toward the fire I saw the danger, but was unable to move. My thoughts and feelings in this occasion were inexpressible, for death to all appearance was certain. I thought the roof in a few minutes would be on fire, and then the whole house, with myself and all that was in it, would soon be consumed to ashes. My greatest exertions to roll myself out of the bed were unavailable, and I gave up as a helpless victim, to be burned, crying out, Lord save my soul! The fire still increased until one side of the chimney was burnt through and some of the end logs considerably kindled, but what was most astonishing and pleasing to me was, that, though the logs and the whole chimney was perfectly dry in the midst of the fires [5] greatest rage, it seemed suddenly to abate and dwindled down until the blaze expired, and what was still more convincing of the interposition of divine goodness, in the course of a few hours the fire was entirely extinguished, so that in the midst of death I found myself safe, while God was nigh to save me. My brother arriving first in the evening was much alarmed when I informed him of their danger I had been in, of the truth of which he was convinced, when he saw the damage sustained by the chimney and the end of the house.
After the fire subsided in this very singular manner, I received an impression that I would not die with my present complaint.
Having grown wild and more wicked while going to school, I here felt the dreadful pains of a guilty conscience, but by sincere repentance, godly sorrow, and fervent prayer to my gracious and heavenly father, while on my sick bed, it pleased God to remove the fear of death and the sting of conscience and I felt happy in my mind, and thought I was prepared to die. Some time in the month of March, 1802, after being confined near eighteen months to my bed, without being able to walk one step, in which time I had one of leg bones taken out with the loss of many small pieces, I had gathered strength to rise and walk with the help of crutches; and in a few months I could walk without their assistence, but still remainded considerably lame. I now viewed myself as a miracle of God's almighty goodness, as a stranger upon the stage of action and as one who had just come from the regions of the grave and shadow of death.
In a few months after being restored to my feet I began to lose sight of the goodness of God, and to forget many of the solemn promises which I had made to him. About this time a similar complaint to that which I was so severely afflicted with in my leg took me in the opposite thigh bone, and I was again soon unable to walk. The swelling increased so rapidly that it soon broke, from whence proceeded a number of bones, the pains and affliction of which attack were almost as severe as the former, but not so lingering. In this spell I [6] renewed my promises to God, determining, if he would spare and restore me, though I should be halt and a cripple I would serve him in the fervency of my soul; for all hope was now removed of my ever being able to walk on my feet so as to do the common business of life. But in a few months, beyond the most sanguine expectations, I was enabled the second time to walk and now was restored to sound health and gathered strength so fast that in a short time, was looked upon as a wonder, while I was seen running, walking and playing with my former associates. But alas! how careless and forgetful is man, and especially how easy and liable is, youth to be led astray after the devices of the wicked one! I adore the riches of heavenly goodness that God did not immediately cut me asunder and make me an example of terror to the rebellious and careless youth, as I have to say I soon neglected my promises, forgot the divine favour manifested so wonderfully to me, lost my spiritual feelings and became wild and wicked again!
Early in the year 1803 I was removed to Montgomery (now Giles County) Virginia, to take my residence with a brother, who at that time keep bachelor's hall. I there soon had to learn the hardships and do the business of a common house woman. Here I remained for some months, and at the same time as opportunity would offer I went to school. In the latter end of the same year I was removed to Major O. Johnston's on New River, in the same county, who received me as a boarder to go to school. I was yet unable to walk far at a time, but the school was convenient, kept by Mr. R. Curry, an excellent teacher. Commencing at this school I was capable of reflecting a little more judiciously upon the necessity and importance of a constant application to my studies. And what was much to my advantage, I soon found that the affections of the teacher and Mr. Johnston, were engaged to me in consequence of my anxiety to learn, of course neither of them seemed to spare any pains to bestow on me all necessary information or as much as I was capable of receiving. I continued at this school about twelve months, in which time I became pretty well acquainted with [7] Arithmetic, Mathematics, Geography, English Grammar, &c. In the course of this time my improvement and demeanor was such that gained the notice and attention of some men of talent, who at the expiration of my terms, as I was poor boy, agreed to defray every expense of my education, Mr. Johnston refusing to receive the least compensation for my boarding. During this term I had many serious thoughts at the recollection of my not being as faithful to God as I promised to be in the time of my affliction, for though when in the presence of an aged person, or any one whose character demanded respect, I was particularly careful not to behave wickedly, nor unseemly, yet oftentimes with my young companions I acted sinful, frequently taking the name of God in vain, &c. for which I would always immediately feel condemned, and compunction and sorrow would fill my heart. Oftentimes while playing at school, when I would sin against a scholar, or against God, would feel such conviction and grief that I would have to quit my play and go and set down by myself, and on being asked the reason, not wishing to expose myself, (as I thought) I would complain of my lame leg. I had a New testament which I would generally carry in my pocket, and at leisure hours while to myself, would read it with great pleasure, and became particularly fond of those places which spake of the blessed Jesus, the Saviour of the world. I loved this character, as I could see him going about doing good: I admired him in his public ministrations, as I could see him dispensing good to attentive thousands, to the poor and needy of all descriptions, and often attempted to imitate him in his private life, as I could view him secluded from the world in secret prayer and fervent devotion to his father. My mind being thus exercised, I would frequently dream of attending the sermons of the Saviour, where thousands were congregated, and once, that he, in the midst of all mentioned my name, looking at me, beckoning me to come forward and take a book out of his hand which he held toward me. On this occasion I was much agitated, as I was afraid not to obey his high authority and ashamed of the general notice which the auditory would take [8] of me if I did obey. However I took courage and went up to him, and he gave me the book which he had open in his hand, and told me to read the words which he pointed at the words were these, "if any man will be my disciple, let him deny himself, and take up his cross and follow me." Having read the words, the Saviour said, "blessed is he that cometh to me," which gave me such an ecstacy of joy that I awoke. After this I would frequently imagine myself (while asleep) preaching the gospel to hundreds and thousands in different parts of the world. This kind of exercise had a tendency to solemnize my mind, but was yet entirely ignorant of salvation, or remission of sins through Jesus Christ; for all the information I had gained upon the subject was by my own reading without any human instruction, as I had not yet heard one sermon preached since I was separated from my parents, and during that time scarcely had heard the subject of religion touched upon by any one.
In November, 1804, I left the school and took leave of that part of the country, and went to Grayson County again, to the neighborhood of my brother, where I had endured so much affliction, and hired myself to his father-in-law for one year, to teach school for one quarter and to work on his farm the balance of the time, for which I was to receive ninety dollars. In the course of the winter season I heard a man preach upon John 10th. 1. Christ, he said was the door, and no man could enter into his sheepfold but by repentance and faith in him. Repentance I thought I understood, but to have faith in Christ, to know that my sins were forgiven through his blood, was a subject I was ignorant of, though he convinced me it was necessary. This sermon gave me great uneasiness of mind, as on reflection I found I was a sinner, far from God. About this time Lorenzo Dow went through that part of the country, preaching, which seemed to make the people talk something about religion, though I did not see him, one of his pamphlets, called his chain fell into my hands. The relation of his conviction and conversion operated very seriously upon my mind. That piece also [9] informed me more clearly the plan of salvation through Christ; from the reading of which I was also so far convinced that I felt new sorrow touch my heart, and the necessity of seeking my rest in the Saviour by faith in his name. I now felt condemned before God; guilt and sin began to hang heavy upon my soul. By my feelings I was now drove to prayer. But as the family I lived with were all irreligious and vain, I took great care to keep my feelings and exercises secret. My repeated absence gave occasion for some of the family to watch me, and when I would be found praying, I would be much derided and scoffed at by them, and as oft as I would move my place of devotion, so oft I would be found and ridiculed, until shame, fear and temptation made me decline the important duty; only at times my heart would still aspire to God while at my daily business. But how feeble are the efforts of human nature, or self-resolutions, when not constantly aided by the divine spirit. For though my soul was oft oppressed with a burden of guilt, and the fear of death and hell were dreadful to me, yet i frequently indulged in sinful words and sinful actions! I began to think it was not worth while for a youth like me to be confined to a religious life or to seek a Saviour, if I was sure to find him; lest I should not hold out faithful, and if I did not should reproach the cause and lose my soul, and could but be lost to continue in my present course, and peradventure, thought I, God would save me, as I thought he had and would save many who were longer in the practice of sin than myself. As these suggestions prevailed my mind was more at carnal case and my heart more willing to follow the evil prevalent where I loved.
In October, 1805, having fulfilled my engagement with the man I lived with, and receiving my wages bought a horse and such articles as were necessary for a journey, and having little money left, started and went to North Carolina, my native place to see my mother and other relations which were yet living there. When I arrived some of my friends had gone to eternity, but felt much joy that I was spared to see my aged mother after an absence of about five years. At this [10] time my mother lived with her son James, my youngest brother, who followed farming. I tarried a few weeks among my relations and acquaintances, in which time I engaged to raise a crop with my brother the following year, for as there was much preaching in that part of the country, and a great revival of religion, I thought it would be congenial to my feelings and profitable to my soul to move my residence from the wild mountains, where I had been so long, and live where the gospel was sounding and sinners converted to God. I then returned to Grayson County, and hired my brother, whom I had formerly lived with, to work at the blacksmith trade, and with him I worked three months in which time I was still much wrought upon by the evil and by the good spirit.
About the first of March, 1806, I went again to Carolina to comply with the engagement I had made with my brother James. Having lived here but a short time, frequently attending meetings of worship, my soul was more troubled than ever. I soon came to understand the subject of religion in theory and I was destitute of its pure and spiritual nature in practice. The beams of righteousness now began to penetrate every avenue of my carnel heart, and the illuminations of the gospel developed all the sins and evils of my life. I now could more amply contemplate on the divine goodness to me, and on my own perverseness, and the more behold my wretched state. I now became serious indeed, but without any singular, sudden or pungent conviction; and was the more encouraged as it was no uncommon thing at that time, for many of the youth, as well as the aged of the neighborhood to be in distress for their souls, to profess conversion, and to exhort the ungodly to do better. This was in the time of the celebrated revival that took place in the Hawfields (near where I lived) and went on through Guilford, Rockingham, Randolph, Casewell and many other counties where hundreds and thousands professed to be converted and brought to the knowledge of the truth. In this revival the very singular and unaccountable exercises of the jirks, dancing, hollowing, shouting, laughing, &c. were [11] prevalent among those who professed religion. In my serious reflections and enquiries after the salvation of my soul, the various noise and exercise of the people would oftentimes stagger me. I was sometimes rather doubtful, and almost led to believe that it was all enthusiasm and strong delusion. Yet, that Christ was the son of God, came to be the Saviour of the world: that he died for the remission of sins: rose from the dead for the justification of life: that he demanded repentance of us all, and faith in his name, and that we should love, serve and obey him in all things commanded, were truths which remained incontestible on my mind. From this persuasion I was led not only to see the beauty of the New Testament religion, but the necessity of seeking the Saviour till I found redemption through his blood, even the forgiveness of sins. I now had determined to cease all my sinful ways, and if it pleased God to have mercy on me and let me feel peace with him through the Lord Jesus Christ, I thought I would lead a religious and holy life, and make no such loud profession and noise about it as was common among those who experienced a change. I now read much in the scriptures; went often to meetings: frequently prayed and began to feel a new pleasure while walking, as I thought the people of God walked. I had almost forgotten my sins, began to depend much in the good I had done, and well nigh concluded that my upright actions merited the favor of God and an acceptance with him. Little did I know the stratagem the devil was taking to slay me. Here I was at ease, not feeling that I was a sinner condemned to die, nor crying Lord save me or I perish, but depending in a few imperfect prayers for the great salvation of my soul! Thanks be to my heavenly father that he did not let me sleep long in this mistaken state of self-security. Praise to my Saviour that he perpetuated his trials of grace toward me, and brought me to a full recovery of my lost condition before it was too late to call upon him and be saved.
There was a great union meeting (by some called camp meeting) appointed to be holden near where I lived, in October, 1806. To this meeting preachers and people [12] of different societies were invited to attend, to encamp upon the ground and worship God in fellowship together. Previous to the commencement of this meeting I determined, if spared, to attend, and if there was any thing lacking, or that if all was not well with me, I hoped there it might be discovered to me. On the first day of the meeting I went early to the place where I saw the wagons coming in from different directions and the people arranging their tents in different places on the ground. The sight was very solemn to me. I sat on a log to myself, and my meditations on the occasion, were such that drew tears from my eyes, as I felt a deep concern for the salvation of my soul. By 12 o'clock, when preaching commenced, preachers of different societies had gathered, who with the most of the people, seemed to be greatly engaged in a spirit of devotion. The first sermon was delivered by a travelling man who did not profess to belong to any particular sect or party, then immediately from Georgia. He made his discourse upon the seventeen first verses of the 5th chap. of 2nd Kings. I soon thought that his discourse was particularly intended for me. In his description of Naaman it was said he was a great man, an honorable man, and in some respects he said as to the deportment of life, he might have been a moral or good man, but he was a leper, he was a sinner. As he went on to explain the scriptures to my understanding, my foundation began to totter, and before he ended his discourse, my fabric of self-dependance fell, and I was left as I imagined, without a good thought, without a good action and without a Saviour. When he came to speak on the 18th verse, when he asked, if God had bid thee, O sinner, to have given thy horse, thy plantation or all thy property to secure eternal life, wouldst thou not have done it? but when he tells thee only to wash in the blood of Christ and be clean, or believe and be saved, ye will not, my heart was impressed with the weight of divine truth, and at the revelation of myself I began to tremble and weep. By this time there were many around me who had fallen to the ground, crying for mercy. After this man closed his discourse a preacher of the [13] methodist society rose up and began in a tremendous manner to thunder out the truths of heaven, alternately expressing the terrors of the Lord and the sweet accents and promises of the blessed Gospel, which were like a fire and hammer to my broken heart. In a short time the cries of mourners and the shouts of christians drowned the voice of the preacher, and the work of the Lord went on in a wonderful manner, while the preachers and others were exhorting and praying for and with those who were in distress. My distress and conviction for my sinful condition was as much as I could well bear, but not so visible as some who had fallen around me, wherefore I was not exhorted and prayed for, which added much to my unhappy feelings, as I thought I justly deserved to be neglected by the christians and forsaken of God. I waited till late in the afternoon, and having seen the wonderful displays of divine grace in the conversion of two or three of my very wicked acquaintances, and in the conviction of many others, I started home with the ponderous load of all my sin and guilt hanging heavy on my distressed soul. At candle light I returned to the meeting, when I sincerely desired to be relieved from my deplorable state of condemnation, that I might with others rejoice in a Saviour's love. When I came and there the people were yet much engaged, some crying and praying for mercy and others shouting and praising God. The preaching and exhortations that I heard, and the happy exercise of the people which I saw only deepened my sorrow and made me feel more miserable, for I began to conclude there was no mercy for me as I had broken the solemn promises which I had made with God, and so long neglected the riches of his goodness and the offers of his grace. My heart grew hard, my tears dried away, and feeling as a sinner that deserved no mercy and one that was sure to be damned; (it being some time in the night) in this wretched state, with all its horrible feelings, I started home. In going home my feelings cannot be described. Sometimes I thought as God had given me over to impenitency, the devil would meet and devour me on the way. My heart was hard and unfeeling beyond degree, given up to fear, terror and despair. About midnight I arrived at home [14] by myself, filled with the most horrible apprehension of torment. I retired to bed and wished to sleep away my misery, but sleep, I found, was removed far from me. Here, as in a moment, I could survey and bring into view all the actions of my life. My neglected opportunities, my broken promises, the many refusals of offered grace, and all my sins rose in dread array and wrote inexpressible anguish against me. Often did I say, to myself, and sometimes aloud, O that I never had been born, O that I had died when I first had the white swelling, O that I had kept my promises which I made to God at that time. My mother hearing me, somewhat alarmed at my exclamations, asked what was the matter, for my exercises till now had been concealed from her, to which I answered, my sins condemn me, God condemns me and I suspect in a short time to be sent to hell. She told me to get up and read in the Testament. I did so, but found nothing to console me, for if I found a promise, or an invitation, I thought it was not for me; I was too late; I was unworthy; there was now no hope for me. Laying down the book I left the house and went into the woods intending to pray, but when I came there, it being very dark, a fear struck me, if I kneeled down or tarried any time, the devil would catch me and take me away; I then ran back toward the house, and coming into the field I fell on my knees, and began to pray to God for mercy, but without the least faith or expectation that he would hear and answer me; for I had no hope that he would ever forgive me. Getting no comfort I went back to the house, and asked my mother if she thought there was any mercy for me. She said yes. I told her, she was not acquainted with my sins and transgressions, or else she would not answer me so, and that I did not believe there was, and that hell would be the sure portion of my cup. She then began to exhort me. I told her that all her good advice and exhortations were now nothing to me, for my time of grace was gone. She then began to weep and engaged in prayer, but my heart was too hard to feel it! By this time day began to dawn and the earth again was illuminated by the morning sun, but my soul was still shrouded with guilt and [15] darkness. While early in the morning I concluded it was useless to go to meeting that day, or any more at all, and that perhaps I should find more peace in my mind if I should go and work; upon this I prepared to plough. My mother prepared me breakfast but I ate none; she persuaded me to go to meeting again and perhaps I would be relieved from my distress. I told her I could not believe so, but if I went would only be looked upon as the most hardened sinner in the congregation, and as I had given up to be damned it was needless for me to go to meeting. While all went to meeting, I went in the field to plough. All things appeared gloomy and lonesome. My thoughts were painful and melancholy. I considered myself as a forlorn wretch walking in the regions of sorrow and on the borders of perdition: And while ploughing I thought of the younger son that had left his father's house and wasted his substance in riotous living--What a wretched condition he then found himself in--His reflections on the abundance of his father's house on his rising and coming to his father, his humble confession and the kind reception with which he met. I stopped the plough and sat down. In further contemplating the subject, the boundless and everlasting goodness of God, the abundance of his grace and mercy, his long suffering and kindness, and his great willingness to receive sinners came fresh and conspicuous to my view. At this, my heart felt tender and I wept. It now appeared that God might yet show mercy to me and that I might yet taste and see that he is good. I now thought of the meeting and felt sorry that I was not there: I will arise thought I, and go and seek my Saviour there, and perhaps God will meet and comfort me. I unhitched the plough, fixed myself and went to meeting, it being about 11 o'clock on Saturday. When I arrived at the place, the man who I heard the day before, who opened the meeting was going to preach. He repeated these words in the 9th ver. of 51st. Chap. of Isa. "Awake, awake, put on strength, O arm of the Lord; awake as in the ancient days, in the generations of old." His words and voice soon sounded sweet and melting to my heart. Not [16] long till may felt the awakening of God's power, and as the congregation was very extensive the cries of the distressed were heard in every direction. I now began to feel the mighty influences of grace and as the preacher exclaimed "O Jesus of Nazareth pass by as in the generations of old and heal that young broken hearted sinner who was in such dispairing distress last night." At this I thought he meant me, and as in an instant I felt such heavenly power arrest me that I fell to the ground, crying aloud, O Jesus have mercy on me. I there continued to pray and weep and cry for salvation till I was exhausted as into a swoon, while christians gathered round and put up many fervent prayers to God for me. When I could speak again I called for the preacher abovementioned and asked him if God could forgive such a sinner as I who had told lies to him by violating the promises I had made him. To which he assured me if I would be willing to be saved that God was able and willing to save me. He prayed for me, exhorted and repeated some applicable passages of scripture which encouraged me and gave me some comfort. A hope now sprang up in my heart that God would not send me to hell, and began to believe that he would save me, but could not yet believe that my sins were forgiven, for which I continued to mourn, lament and pray all the afternoon, lying in the dust. When the people dispersed, some to their homes and some to their tents to be refreshed, I continued lamenting for mercy where I lay with two or three who were praying for me. People came together again and at candle light worship commenced and preaching, exhorting, singing, praying, shouting, and crying for mercy &c. continued all night, during which time I remained in the same place incessant in my struggles for salvation, and while many around me could arise and declare what great things God had done for them and utter forth his praise, I had to mourn and remain in sorrow. In the morning, about sunrise it was proposed that the mourners and christians should gather round where I lay and offer up their prayers to God, and [17] while they were thus engaged three of those who mourned were enabled to rejoice in the blood of the Lamb; but as I could not feel that evidence, I remained weeping and praying. My fears by this time were renewed that I should never obtain mercy, and a few of the christians, among whom was a Methodist preacher, seemed to be particularly concerned for me, as they thought I might give up to dispair, my agony and sorrow were so great. The preacher continued with me the most of the forenoon, sometimes sitting on the ground holding my head on his knees, talking, encouraging, and exhorting me to trust my soul on the Saviour and believe in his name, often praying with me, that I might have an evidence of my sins forgiven. This man having to leave me to go and preach a sermon, a young man who had been converted in the meeting, who I knew formerly to be very wicked, swearing person, came to exhort and talk to me. I thought his words were directed by the spirit of God and attended by the power of the holy ghost, and when he said "you know what a wicked wretch I was, and for all God has had mercy on me and has become my salvation and has forgiven my sins, and as God has forgiven me who was a much greater sinner than you, I am sure he will forgive you also." My heart began to revive and I said "do you firmly believe that God will forgive me?" He said yes. When immediately I had faith to believe that my guilt and condemnation were removed, and I felt a joy and love to God and all mankind spring up in my soul which I never felt before, but still felt a fear and could not fully believe that all my sins were pardoned: I now felt such a relief from my ponderous load of guilt and sorrow that I arose and stood up. The young man asked me if I could not praise God. I told him I could praise him for removing my sorrow and condemnation, but I could not praise him for the forgiveness of my sins, for I was not confident that they were pardoned. Said he your sins are forgiven else your sorrow and condemnation would remain. To this I could not be persuaded, but I felt unspeakably thankful to God that I was so happy and had such comfort in my mind. I could now [18] look around the congregation with a smile of delight. It now seemed to be the joy of my heart to hear the name of Jesus sounded by so many tongues that in the congregation expressed his praise. Yet I could not rejoice aloud now mingle my songs of salvation with the happy converts as I could not believe I was converted. Some of the christians who saw me standing up now came around and began to praise God for my deliverance and asked me if I was converted. I said no. They asked me if I felt happy. I said I do, for I do not feel condemned and guilty as I did. This, I think was about 4 o'clock in the evening and the Methodist preacher beforementioned asked me to walk with him in the woods to pray and perhaps God would there remove every doubt. I walked with him near half a mile from whence we came and he fell down on his knees and I on my face and worshiped God. We there continued praying till near sun down. My doubts were not yet removed but feelings much as I did when I came there we rose and departed to the camp. While going on the preacher said to me "you are converted and dont know it." I said I call it no conversion till I do know it and I shall never cease seeking my Saviour till I find him, till I know I have found him, and till I feel him in me the hope of glory. About sun set we arrived among the people at the camp. I felt serene and calm in my mind and inwardly glad that God had relieved me from my trouble, but still believed there was something lacking, and the state of my soul was such that I could not weep and lament neither could I fully rejoice, but took pleasure in seeing the work of God on so glorious in the congregation and in my own soul. About this time I was an hungered, as I had neither ate bread nor drank water since the Friday dinner previous, which was about forty-eight hours. While eating I thanked God that he had enabled me to fulfil my resolution, for I had determined neither to eat, drink, nor sleep, till my burden was removed or I sunk into hell! The people gathered again from their tents to preaching but I felt liberty now to lie down to rest and sleep. While I slept I imagined I saw a very aged [19] grave looking man stand at the mouth of the tent and called me. I answered (methought) and asked him who he was. He said "I am Isaiah the Prophet," upon which he said "rise up and I will give thee something which came from heaven." I obeyed, at which he shewed me a piece of wood near the size and shape of a small man, and it was apparently deeply stained all over with blood, and said "you have a long distance to travel, which journey you will commence shortly and you must carry this all the way." He then held a small loaf of bread in his hand, and said, "you must take this loaf and when thy burden becomes too great and thou dost get weary and faint, thou shalt eat of it and thou wilt get new strength; this loaf will last thee forty eight years and six months about which time, for the sake of what thou dost carry, strangers shall kill thee." He then handed them to me, and told me to receive them as the gifts of God. I took the wood and stood it by my side, and received the loaf in my hand; then he said "taste the bread," which I did, and after eating a few mouthfuls felt so light, so strong and happy that I could not forbear leaping, praising and thanking God; whereupon I awoke and almost took my dream for a reality. I then thought of these words "surely the Lord is in this place and I knew it not; how dreadful is this place; this is none but the house of God and the very gate of heaven." I arose and thought for a moment I was converted, and was just going to tell what great things God had done for me, when a suggestion arose "will you take a dream, an imagination, or a flight of fancy for conversion? Will you pretend to declare that God gas forgiven your sins when you have no undeniable evidence? Unbelief now oppressed me, and I doubted that I was not so nigh the favour and salvation of God as I had concluded I was. This being some time in the night I went to the stand where the preachers were, and fell down in sorrow and asked to be prayed for. At the time they were praying for me I saw that the devil had tempted me to disbelieve what the Lord has done for me, and the temptation was removed, and though I could not feel fully happy, felt no condemnation. I [20] arose and again felt an inward joy to hear the name of Jesus glorified, though I could not join the vocal strain. Early in the morning (on Monday) I went home (about three miles) thinking to get to work again, but my mother and brother continuing at the meeting, and I feeling great temptations of mind, sometimes sorrowing that I could not believe my sins were forgiven, and fearing I never should be liberated to praise my God, about 12 o'clock I returned to meeting. During the afternoon I felt very different from what I did when the pains of hell were hold on me, but far from being as happy as I wished to be. I now continued in the meeting until it closed, alternately feeling sorrow and some distress of mind and secret joy and gladness in God. On Friday evening, the eighth day from its commencement, it was proclaimed that meeting should come to a close, when there were about two thousand persons present. It was now made known that during this meeting there were thirty seven souls clearly and happily converted to God, and twenty one, then present, under severe conviction and solemn distress for their souls, of which number I was one. Now most of all I mourned because we were to disperse and leave the blessed ground where such wonders had been wrought, and where I had so many glorious manifestations, but where I was not fully relieved and enabled to go on my way rejoicing. At this meeting the love of God was manifest; for in addition to what has been said, christians of different denominations rejoiced and preachers preached together in amity and love without the least controversy, jar or contention; and on Sunday when the sacrament (as it is called) was given all partook with each other as children of the same parent. After this meeting I continued to seek the Saviour of sinners by constantly attending meetings and private prayer, and also by a general and attentive reading his word. I was for some time, frequently tossed to and fro in my mind, sometimes also sunk into dispair, overburdened with grief and sorrow, and then again could feel glad that the Lord had shewed me so much mercy. For several months my exercise was such that my flesh was reduced [21] to a mere skeleton, and some thought I would never recover.
On the 7th of May, 1807, early in the morning, as I had been engaged for my salvation the greater part of the night previous, when I arose I stood in the yard looking up to heaven and determined before God that I would retire to a certain vale in the woods and if there was any pardon for my sins and redemption for my soul that I there would pray and wrestle until I would obtain (unless I should be wrested away by violent hands) and if this mercy was not for me I wished it to be made known to me by the vengeance of the almighty being let loose on me, to drive me down to hell and let me know the worst of my final state. With this resolution I started, being about day break, and when I came to the place I had in view I fell on my knees and in much bitterness of spirit cried out "God be merciful to me a sinner," in a short time my exercise so transported me that I remember no more the feelings of my soul nor the expressions of my tongue until I found myself on my feet praising God. When my whole body appeared full of light, full of heaven, full of the salvation for which I had struggled so long. O what light and glory were displayed from heaven to me. Now I believed, now I knew my sins were forgiven and that Jesus Christ was my Saviour. It would now have been blasphemy in me to have doubted the work of God upon my soul. My heart now flowed with love to God and love to me. O, thought I, had I Eagles wings and a trumpet voice all nations and persons should quickly hear of the wonders God hath wrought for me. The desert mountains should ring, the pines of the forest should shake and the towering rocks amid the wild should echo with the praise of my lips. I heard the birds in the vale from tree to tree singing with melodious notes and delightful tunes, but thought I your songs are only praise for your creation and the lovely change of the season, but mine is a higher strain; I now can sing a new song, a song of redemption through the blood of the Lamb, even the forgiveness of sins! Being justified by faith I have peace with God through the Lord Jesus [22] Christ. Now as in an instant, it was manifested to me that I was chosen and appointed to preach the gospel far and near, and that I should have to bear much persecution and tribulation for the sake of Jesus. I now went on toward the house glorifying God. It was now about 10 o'clock in the morning when I arrived, my mother was alone, but as I was coming she heard me praising God, and when I came to her I told her what great things God had done for me--he had removed all my sins, and doubts, all my fears, all my sorrows and distress. He had taken my feet out of an horrible pit and now I have joy unspeakable and full of glory. This was a time of joy with her as well as with myself. My brother shortly returned, for he was in search of me, fearing that as I was absent so long, I had wandered away and was lost, when he came in I told him the lost is found, and the dead is alive again, he knew what it meant and we began to be merry.
After rejoicing there a while I started on to tell some of my neighbors how wonderfully the Lord had delivered me and that I had found the Saviour, for whom I had mourned so long and now had turned all my sorrow into joy! I went on singing.
"Come saints and sinners hear me tell
The wonders of Immanuel, Who sav'd my soul from burning hell, And brought my soul with him to dwell, And gave me heavenly union. From house to house I'll go and pray, And if I meet one on the way I'll always have some word to say About the love I feel to-day And on this heavenly union." |
The remainder of the day I spent in spreading the news of my happy conversion to God; not for ostentation or vain glory, but I now considered it a crime to keep, concealed, yea impossible to withhold my acclamations for all the wonderous goodness of God and his loving kindness to me. Creations now seemed to wear a more lovely aspect than common, the sun shone [23] more brilliant and favorable, the sky appeared more clear, clam, serene and friendly; in a word, I thought the heavens above and all creation on earth beneath were emulous in the praise of God. I was transported beyond the borders of time and my affections above an earthly object. My delight was in the Lord, and my mind was set on things higher than the stars! This day was happy past expression and glorious to me beyond description, far exceeding in tranquillity and peace all other days that I had lived in the world.
"No tongue can express
The sweet comfort and peace Of a soul in its earliest love." |
The first meeting in the neighborhood which was in two days after this, I attended. On my way it was made known to be my duty to tell the people of my happy experience and change; and to exhort my young acquaintances to repentance. Here the cross first came to me, and I felt a great backwardness to expose myself in public. During meeting I was much exercised by a sense of duty and my own reluctance. Some of the people had heard of my deliverance and expected at that time I would say something on the Lord's side and tell what he had done for me; but I withstood the the operation, of the spirit, refused to take up the cross and said nothing. When the meeting closed, at my disobedience, I felt shame, condemnation and sorrow, and on my return home I thought I had denied my Saviour and as I was ashamed to confess him before men he would not confess me before his father and the holy angels. This gave me such exercise and distress of mind that I slept but little during the night till I resolved to attend the next meeting (which was to be on the next night) there, by the Lord's assistance, I would own my Saviour in public and declare that he had power on earth to forgive sins. This resolution gave me some ease of mind and I felt, that by my future obedience I would be forgiven for this omission. In the evening on the way to the meeting I had to retire two or three times into the woods to pray that I might have fortitude and grace to own my Saviour there. In [24] the time of devotion knowing what I had promised to do I wished myself away from the place, for I was afraid I could not comply, but trusting all to God, near the conclusion, I rose up to speak in the name of the Lord. I spoke but a few words; and I feared they would do more harm than good; but I soon felt better satisfied in my mind, and happy that I had done all that I could on my Saviour's side. After meeting I went home rejoicing that I had done my duty, but felt much confusion to think of the laughter and persecution that would come one me for what I had said, though I thought I was perfectly willing to bear it all for the sake of Jesus. As meeting was held at some house in the neighborhood almost every evening I attended constantly; I always found it a duty upon me, fearful not to comply with, to say something in the way of exhortation. Sometimes I could not bear the cross and I would not obey, and for all such disobedience my soul would be severely afflicted with condemnation and guilt, which caused me often to mourn, to weep and pray and to resolve on a constant compliance with my duty. When I was obedient if I only could say a few words, from a consciousness of having done my duty, consolation and peace would visit my mind.
My call to the ministry as was now manifested to me, gave me great uneasiness and exercise of mind, for I felt a constant impression that I would have to preach the gospel, not only to those that were nigh, but to those that were afar off; that I should have to leave the place of my nativity, and travel from place to place and preach the love of God and the union of his spirit to professors of religion--repentance toward God and faith in the Lord Jesus Christ to sinners. This, at first, I thought might only be a desire of my own, from having received the love of God, the common influence of which is to move every one to do all the good he can. In my exercise upon the call to preach the gospel, I required some evidence by which I might know it was from God, and not of myself, and unless I was convinced of this I was determined not to obey. One day while at work in the field, I was operated upon to have an appointment [25] given out for me to speak to the people and if any person at the meeting was convicted and brought to a sight of their sins it should be a sign to me that the call was from God, and if not I might known it was my own imagination. I left my work and went to some of the neighbors and told them I would preach at such a place on the morrow night. This was somewhat of an alarm to some of them, who said "I thought some time ago you were going to be a fool, but I now see you are determined to be one." When the time came a number of people came to hear me preach, some said "he can't preach," I knew myself I could not preach, but this, I thought, was a time at which I should know whether I was called of God to that office or not. When we commenced worship I attempted to give out and sing a hymn, but the cross being so great I failed before I went through with it; I then commenced praying but I only expressed a few words in a very imperfect manner. I then read the words in John and spake I suppose not longer than five minutes, and certainly in a very weak and feeble manner, yet beyond any thing that was common in so short a time there were several weeping, and one wicked young man, who had but little while previous made much laughter of me, fell on his knees in the congregation, crying for God to be merciful to his soul. There was a preacher there, who, with other christians, then continued the worship until the young man and two more professed to be converted to God. When going home meditating on the intention of the meeting I was fully convinced that God was calling me to preach the Gospel, for I well knew the extreme weakness and inability with which I had delivered myself, and that it was not the force of my words, but the force of divine power that operated upon the people and affected them in such a manner. This gave me more disquietude and distress of mind, as I was in hope nothing of this kind would be done at the meeting, and I then could with propriety excuse myself from this arduous undertaking. As it now seemed I would have to preach the gospel, I brought forth many reasonable objections which occurred. My extreme youth, my weaknesses and [26] inability, my bashfulness and my poverty, were all formidable impediments, and I thought sufficient excuses. Why I thought, should God call a boy like me to dispense his word whose natural timidity and shame-facedness would not admit him to express himself or address a congregation. WHy not choose one in my room who was older and more matured in his mind; more courageous and undaunted in his heart; more wise and able to reveal and express the awful and interesting truths of eternity than myself? These reasons and objections I thought would do for me to decline, and among those I threw in a conclusion that the impression and the evidence which I had for a heavenly call, might be a deception and in a short time it would wear off, and I would feel it no more. But as an objection would arise in my mind it would be answered and removed. I read "has not God chosen the weak things of the world to confound the might and wise. Will he not perfect praise in the mouth of babes and sucklings. He makes the weak strong, and confirms the feeble knees." And though I was young, weak and feeble, he that called me was fully able to qualify me, and would be glorified in the work he had appointed me to do.
I now went to see a preacher, who lived in the neighbourhood, and told him my exercise of mind, and requested his advice, and to tell me whether I was called to the ministry or not. He advised me to be faithful to God, and if I felt happier, or more peace in my mind after speaking in meetings, though it might be delivered in a very weak and simple manner, than I would not to speak, he thought it might be a sufficient evidence that I was not deceived, but that God had called me to the work. Sometimes when I would attend meetings, the undertaking and cross of speaking would be so great that I would refuse, and the sorrow and condemnation that I would feel are not easily described. The burden of the Lord was now heavy on me, and I felt "Wo is me if I preach not the Gospel." One day in the lonesome woods on my knees I was led to determine that by his assistance, if I was spared, I would be constantly obedient for two years, and go where his spirit directed me; and speak as he enabled me, and if, by [27] that time, I was not useful to his church and to his cause I should be perfectly excused to cease the undertaking.
After this determination I felt as though I was not my own; that the world with its prospects was given up and that what worldly business I now was to do was only to prepare to go out and do the work of the Lord. From this time at all the meetings I attended in the neighbourhood I would say something on the Lord's side, but generally by first quoting a passage of scripture and making my observations upon that. I was now by way of derision called the "goat preacher." I now began to make appointments of my own, and carry on meetings without the assistance of others; and though I could say but little, and that little in a very weak and blundering manner, yet, some through motives of curiosity, some of laughter and derision, and some to worship God, rejoicing to see a boy turn out in such a cause, the meetings were large and generally attentive. I now thought of joining society or being a member of a religious denomination; but as I knew I had a call from God to preach the gospel in an extensive manner, I knew I would meet with difficulties if I joined any society I then was acquainted with. However I first enquired into the rules of the Methodist Church, as their doctrine was most congenial with my own views. To inform myself therein a discipline was handed me. After perusing it attentively I found I could not subscribe myself a member, not only because I could not believe all the doctrines it contained, but that I could not reconcile it to my call to submit to the unscriptural authority and arbitrary power which I then conceived the BISHOP to have. I then sought the rules of the Freewill Baptists, and had several interviews with one of the preachers respecting my becoming a member of that church, but I found and was informed of too many articles and particulars contrary to my impressions, of course could not join them. As it had been a manifest duty for me to be baptised by immersion (as it is called) I requested that this preacher should baptise me; but he objected, and would not do it unless I would become a member of that church, I sought an acquaintance with the [28] Presbyterians, if I could not get admission there. After reading the Confession of Faith I was told if I believed the things therein contained I might be admitted as a member, but to be a preacher I would have to go to school and study divinity under Mr. ------, &c. I observed as to much of the doctrine, Jesus had not yet taught it to me, and I could not believe it, and as to studying divinity under Mr. ------, I thought it would not only be contrary to what God had commanded me, but it would be losing much time and thought it best to study my divinity under Jesus Christ, and did not join them. If I had no impressions of a public nature I might, with a little sacrifice to my conscience, have satisfied myself in one of those societies as a private member; but to be a preacher, called as I was, I could not. I then heard of a people called Christians. I went some distance to see one of the preachers. He told me they had no rules but the scriptures, and all truly converted people, who were not bound to any particular sect or party, all who took the scriptures for their rule, the Lord Jesus for their head and ruler, and his spirit for their guide and comforter, they esteemed as being in the Christian Church; and that of one preacher had no authority or control over another, nor over the least member; and that preachers and people were all equally amenable to each other, &c. At hearing of such people as these my heart rejoiced. I said to the preacher "Thy people shall be my people, and thy God my God." I thanked God that he had shown others such heavenly light, to see the scriptures all-sufficient without the aid of human creeds to govern the people of God; and that some were determined to enjoy the glorious liberty of the children of God, and not to give the freedom of their heaven-born spirits to the power of man. This, thought I, was the way God first taught me, and the way he first teaches all the new born heirs of life; and were it not for fear, for the power of custom or for some powerful motive of self-interest, religious bigotry would subside; party would dissolve, and this is the way all the children of God would see eye to eye; walk together in love and union; have one name and [29] worship one God. The preacher informed me where I might see a number of those preachers at a certain meeting to be held in Raleigh, N. Carolina, about fifty-five miles distant. From this time I began to calculate upon being at the meeting, and to count the cost and the loss of continuing on from thence to spread the news of salvation. I soon saw such an undertaking would be attended with no less than the privation of earthly possession, and all worldly prospects, and would draw down upon me, not only the persecution, opposition and derision of my enemies, but the censures and coldest disapprobation of my friends and relations. I felt cheerfully willing to forego all earthly enjoyments and pleasures and patiently to bear all the distresses, necessities, dangers and difficulties attendant upon such a course, if the Lord would only be with me and comfort my soul and make me useful, if only in the smallest degree, to the souls of men, and make it manifest that he had called me. It was now known among the neighbours that I was going to travel in a cause which they all said I could do no good, and that such boyish notions ought to be whipped out of me. I had meeting appointed to which three preachers attended, where I related the work of the Lord upon my soul, my call to the ministry and my intention of obeying, with a few observations to the audience, but in a weak and faltering manner. After I closed, one of the preachers (a methodist) rose up and rigidly disputed my call to preach the Gospel, and that he thought it was merely a notion, a mistaken notion of my own, and would advise me, as a sincere friend, to give it up, lest I might do more harm to the cause of God than a half dozen experienced preachers could do good. And as I had joined no society, and did not intend to become a member of any denomination, he thought it was wrong for any person to approbate me in my undertaking or to esteem me as a religious person!!! A Presbyterian then rose and observed that he was perfectly willing for God to call and send to preach the Gospel by whom he would, and that he had reasons to believe God intended to make me a minister of the New Testament, exhorting me not to [30] be intimidated nor put back at what the other had said, nor at any of the difficulties I might hereafter meet with, and to be faithful to that which I thought God had called me, and that in the course of a short time, it would be fairly manifested whether I was mistaken or not. This was a time of severe trial with me as I was thus opposed by those who professed to love God, and by a preacher, whom I knew ought to have prayed for me, and have pledged themselves to intercede with God to make me useful where he might send me. My brother, with whom I lived, endeavoured to prevent my traveling and was much opposed to my trying to preach. My mother, who, as I have heard her say, had often prayed for the Lord to make one of her sons a preacher, was very unwilling that I should go forth in the cause! In a word, I had no one to encourage, none to advise me (save that Presbyterian above mentioned) in the important and difficult undertaking, but all opposed to me, and had it not been for the great and constant consolations of God to my soul, the aid and strengthening influences of his holy spirit, I should have failed in the attempt. But thanks be to my blessed Saviour when all my neighbours were my enemies, for his sake, I found him a precious friend, and one in whom I could trust to be "with me always even to the end of the world." I thought as my relations and acquaintances thus opposed me, when I went out among strangers, they of course would not only slight and oppose me, but be inhospitable and not admit me in their houses. But I felt willing to trust in Him who provides for the ravens which have neither store-house nor barn; and rejoiced in believing that if my impressions were from him he would open the hearts of strangers and make them kind to me; and if I was led by deception, I hoped to know it by having my way blocked up and all hearts set against me.
I now sold what little I possessed, received the money, paid what I owed, reserving the same horse I bought two years previous, provided what few articles I needed in travelling and having about forty dollars left I found myself ready and willing to sacrifice what [31] little I had earned by hard labor in going forward in obedience to my Lord's command. The time drew near when I had appointed to start. My reflections were solemn on the occasion. I thought on the many unforeseen difficulties to which I might now be exposing myself. On the hardships, dangers, fatigues and troubles which an inexperienced youth like me would unavoidably meet in travelling, a stranger, through the world. I also was well aware of the lasting contempt and the many bitter reflections which would fall on me if I returned as a coward or as a beaten soldier. The extent of my days as it were, now arose in review, by which I had opportunity to make the estimate, and fully and willingly did I surrender all desires and pretensions to the possessions and carnal pleasures of the world--to ease, to honor, to popularity and to friendship, and trusting in Almighty God, who is rich to all who call upon him, I freely sacrificed them all upon the cross of my Saviour and took him for my strength and my everlasting portion. At this time I felt as though I was no more of this world, determined only to follow the footsteps of Jesus whom alone I had for a friend. I considered myself starting on a mission the most important ever engaged in by man, and on a journey not of a few days, a few weeks, or a few months, but as long as life should last. I not only felt the burden of having to face a frowning, a strange and unfriendly world, but pensive and sorrowful to leave my mother and other relations whose frowns and disapprobation, for this cause, were against me, but who felt tender and near to my youthful breast.
The 19th day of October, 1807, arrived, when I was sixteen years, nine months and twelve days old, I prepared to start, as a lamb among wolves. I bade farewell to my mother, my relations and to all the world. No one commended me to God, no one gave me their blessing or bid me God speed. I now gave myself wholly to God, trusting in his promises, confiding in his grace, praying the guidance of his spirit and the protection of his power. At my start I was asked when I would be back. I said as the Lord directed. I then went on [32] and soon came into a strange road and with much difficulty by riding fourteen miles, called at a strange house to make some enquiry, in a short time I found myself at the house of an old preacher by the name of M. Debrular who was preparing to start on the morrow for the same meeting in Raleigh I was going to. He gladly received me into his house. I told him my exercise and intention. He was rejoiced and with a fatherly affection and paternal delight, which till then I was a stranger to, he taught, advised, encouraged and consoled me. He strengthened, confirmed and comforted me much. I here also was soon taught not to be impatient nor troubled at being thrown out of the direct road, for it was by this God had provided for me that which was most needful. The cross of praying in the family was great upon me, but found much consolation of soul in being obedient, knowing that God does not require that which a man hath not, but according to that which he hath.
Wednesday 20th. In the morning I felt gloomy, melancholy, full of doubt and much troubled with temptations. I knew I had no comforter but God, no guide but his spirit, I retired to pray and while engaged I felt my strength renewed and much confirmation in the truth of my mission. O! thought I, had I a tongue to express the love, the glory and happiness I feel, all who could hear would desire to be partakers. About 8 o'clock this old man of God and I started, rode about thirty five miles and tarried all night with brother J. Hays, a preacher who I had seen before and who was a witness to some of the exercises of my soul. This was a night of instruction, information and consolation to me. As I told the two old brethren some of the impression and trials of my mind, they appeared interested in my being faithful, and gave me much encouragement both from scripture and their own experience.
Thursday 21st. We all went on ten miles and held meeting at 12 o'clock in the house of H. Hays. Here was a severe trial for me. I was invited to speak. The people were all strange to me and as I had come a distance, of course, they expected something worthy of [33] attention. I endeavoured to speak, but a sense of my weakness and insufficiency interrupted me and I spake but a few minutes. After meeting the troubles of my mind were great, I soon withdrew from the congregation and the house, ashamed to be seen by any, and retired into the woods, prayed for God to enlarge my understanding, increase my knowledge of his word, to unloose my tongue and enable me to speak profitably to the people. My prayers were put up with tears and groans which could not be uttered.
Friday 22d. In the morning we rode ten miles into Raleigh, where I was introduced into a family to stay during the meeting where several other preachers put up. At 12 o'clock preaching commenced. Here JAMES O. KELLY attended, to which I was introduced as a young labourer in the vineyard of the Saviour. He welcomed me as such in a very affectionate and fatherly manner. After preaching we continued together during the afternoon, in which time he gave me instruction and advice. I divulged my mind to him respecting baptism, telling him that I had felt it a duty since my conversion to follow the Saviour in that command and to receive that ordinance by immersion, asking him if he would baptise me in that way. Upon this he began to explain the meaning of the ordinance another way; saying that he did not consider the mode essential. That in a believer he thought it most consistent to receive it by pouring, as baptism was a sign of being a member of Christ, and as he had become a member by having the spirit poured upon him, this was best represented in baptism by pouring. As a man of his maturity both in age and mind, I thought he knew better than I and at that time received his definition as being correct; I consented to be baptised of him in that way, which was to be performed on the following Sabbath. At this meeting I saw the preacher under whose sermon I was first fully awakened and by whose instrumentality I was brought to the truth. I loved him above all others. There were several other young preachers attended to join the general union of the Church of God, and sound abroad a free salvation to all men. I (with them) was [34] there received into full fellowship with a people professing religion, but not as a member of a particular sect or party to be debarred by the doctrines and commandments of men from uniting with all the children of God.
On Sunday, 24th, I received water poured one me by James O. Kelly for baptism, and thought it was right and sufficient for me for some time; not knowing I was convinced by man and not by the spirit of truth.
Monday, 25th. Walking the streets I was accosted by a man who said he understood I had started out to become a preacher and asked me if it was so. I told him it was. Well, said he, you are but a youth, [I] think quite a raw boy. Preaching is an important undertaking, a business that requires the talents of a wise man, the integrity, firmness and caution of a man of matured age, of course, for your own sake and the sake of the cause, I would advise you to give it up to older and informed me and go home, till you are, at least, fit to leave your mother's lap. As I had heard there were a number of Deists in Raleigh, I concluded he was one of them and said nothing to him, only observed as young as I am I know my own business and I intend to apply myself to it, and left him. But I was much astonished when I was shortly afterwards told that this man was a methodist preacher. This gave me to understand, that not only the world but preachers attached to parties whose cause I had not espoused would be against me.
At this meeting, by my request it was concluded that I should travel with a preacher by the name of W. till I was introduced and acquainted with some of the friends to the general union. From this meeting I started in company with three preachers, and we went on together nearly four days. During this time those preachers held several meetings, and sometimes called on me to exhort, pray, &c. but I refused, which not only made my own soul the more miserable, but raised, as I had reason to believe, a strong suspicion among them, that I could do nothing for the cause, that I would be if encouraged, a disparagement to it, and that I had better go home again. Though these things did not come direct to my ears, my jealousy of the truth of them had a [35] tendency to enhance my difficulties, and to depress my mind past expression. I now found myself above two hundred miles from home, amidst those who knew me not, a stranger who had no friend on earth to assist, advise and encourage me in the glorious cause I has espoused. But which I found myself at that time unable to abet in public declamation. In this gloomy prospect I yet felt determined to fulfil my promise with God, and found but little time or comfort in any thing but praying and wrestling mightily with God for his assistance and in reading his word to enable me to declare his truth.
Friday, 29th, two of the preachers left us, and from thence I and the one I was to travel with, went on and fell on a long train of appointments, which had been previously given out for him. When we came on the appointments, I again tried to speak to the people, but with so much weakness, I yet met with no encouragement nor approbation from any, but was frequently told to give up the undertaking, for as I had no tools given me to work with, I could do nothing, and to return home and use the farming tools. I also soon found the preacher I was with, not only disposed to disapprobate me, but was a very disagreeable companion. One day while speaking I observed, that I considered myself as a lamb sent out among wolves, &c. at which a man in the congregation took offence, rose up and commanded me to hush, for to be called a wolf by such a brat as I, he would not bear and seemed to get in a violent passion, coming forward seemingly determined as he said if I did not hush, to pull me down. Some of the people interfered, and the congregation were generally disturbed. After meeting the preacher asked me if I did not now see plainly that I did more harm than good, and that I ought to quit. I told him the man acted the truth of what I said, shewed himself a wolf willing to devour me; that I took this as a trial for my faith and integrity and not as an evidence of my not being called of God.
We travelled on through Mecklenburg, Lunenburg, Prince George, Prince Edward, Queen Ann, Henrico, Chesterfield and Amelia Counties, &c. during which [36] time the trials, temptations and difficulties of my mind were inexpressible. By this time I had committed a number of passages of scripture to memory, which the Lord informed me how to apply, and connect together; this, I thought, was not only the most useful, but the most direct method for me to speak to the people, which I began to find somewhat successful, both in giving me something to say and in affecting some of those whom I addressed.
Being now some distance below Petersburg in Virginia, I heard of Thomas Reeves a travelling preacher, and being recommended as a happy companion, and a suitable person for me to be with, I concluded, though it was thought he then was near a hundred miles lower down the country, I would leave the man I was with and go till I found him, who I hoped would be more agreeable, and better calculated to help me to do good. Accordingly, on the 5th of December, I started on by myself, through a strange and inhospitable part of the country. In six days I fell in with T. Reeves in Surry County, Va. in which time I tried to speak to the people five times, but with so little apparent success, that I thought not only the congregations felt themselves deceived in me, and disappointed in hearing preaching, but my own feelings were much depressed and mortified and my heart almost sunk under the weight of the cross. When I met with bro. Reeves I had to introduce myself to him as one who was sent out to preach the Gospel, but could say nothing, as I thought, worthy the attention of any person, and wished him to take me, as one of the weakest babes, by the hand and gently lead me along, and assist me to obey the heavenly call. I soon found him of an open, free and gentle spirit, who quickly, after some further conversation, welcomed me to his care, protection and assistance. He informed me that his preaching route was somewhat laid out like a circuit, which he generally surrounded every five weeks and intended to continue to do so for six or eight months to come, and if I desired, I should freely travel with him, and he would give me all the aid [37] and support possible. I loved the man, thanked God and took courage.
Dec. 12th. We went on and, for many days, held meeting once, sometimes twice every day. I would frequently endeavour to refuse taking up my cross to address the congregations; but bro. R. would urge me to it, which was the most useful to me, as it helped to wear off my timidity, and was a blessing oftimes to my own soul and sometimes a blessing to others, as I thought I could see some weep and appear much affected under the few words I would deliver. In a few weeks, one of the young preachers I saw in Raleigh, who had been directed to bro. R., joined us and we all went on together. This young man, it was thought by many, could deliver himself with uncommon volubility, discovering deep penetration, which soon gained him the admiration, praise and attention of the people; all which tended to make my weak and broken endeavors the more disagreeable, insignificant and unworthy in the estimation of the hearers. It was now frequently said by the religious friends and the hearers in general that this young man would make a great preacher, a useful man, &c. but that boy (Thomas) would never do any thing; he had better go home and quit it, &c. Among the friends I was slighted and neglected, while the others were kindly treated, flattered and caressed. Jealousy is a powerful propensity in the human breast; and here I had to contend with it as one of the sad visitors of my soul. I began to think that all the private conversation of the families where we put up, and of the preachers with me, was in deriding, opposing and condemning me, and talking over my weaknesses and inability, &c. Sometimes, I thought my inadequacy rendered me so despicable that even the cold reception and entertainment I actually met with, were grudged. I almost failed, and expressed to bro. R. that I had a notion to return to my native place, as not being able to perform what I thought the Lord commanded me to do. He encouraged me, by bringing forward the prospect before me; that I had much time to improve in; a good foundation already laid; the Lord on my side; a good [38] cause to promote, &c.; and that the people did not all consider me so incapable as I did myself--prove faithful to God, and he would remove my difficulties; clear my way; give me friends and make me useful to the world. I took his advice and still looked to God for help. I continued much in private prayer and meditation, in which I received many glorious manifestations of divine truth and comfort to my soul. Sometimes the reflection was consoling, that though I might never become eminently useful to others, yet God had displayed the wonders of redeeming love to my poor soul, for which I would always move in obedience to him, that I might ultimately share that reward promised to the humble and contrite in heart. In the same proportion my jealousy and suspicious of the people abated, feeling more contented and happy to be neglected by friends and despised by enemies, willing to see and hear others praised, and myself counted as nought. About Christmas we came to that part of the country below Norfolk, where we had some gracious and happy meetings; there my soul was much comforted; my heart revived. Some of the people were friendly toward me, approbated me, for the first time since I espoused the cause, and bid me God speed. About twelve miles below Norfolk, we came to Rice Haggard's who had once been a Methodist preacher, but for a long time, for their church government and some other errors, which he discovered, had left them, but continued faithful in preaching the unity of the faith in Christ. He was a man of a sound, deep, penetrating mind, capable of looking over and excusing youthful imperfections, and of judging their probable abilities by their physiognomy. Though it was supposed by some he was an austere, lordly disposed man, yet it found him possessed of every necessary qualification to make him a great, a good man, a Christian. He talked to me with freedom, advised me to be faithful and I would become useful, and when I had prayed in house and hearing, he told me not to be discouraged under my present difficulties, but let my mind aspire to my high calling, for he thought the Lord would make me instrumental in doing much [39] good in the Christian faith. I now felt thankful to God that he had given me favor in the eyes of a few, and having the truth of my being called of God, in this way, more and more evinced to me, I became more resigned to the gainsayings of the people and more determined to press forward in my calling and assiduous in my studies. My mind expanded, my heart engaged and my soul seemed fully devoted to God, and though yet surrounded with embarrassments I was joyfully patient in my tribulation.
We turned our course up the country again; went through Norfolk, Portsmouth, Suffolk, the Isle of Wight County, into Surry and Southampton. Here we came to old bro. B. Barrett's (a preacher) where the work of the Lord revived; two souls were converted and many of the Christians were made to rejoice and give hosannahs to the son of David. Brother Barrett was very kind and friendly to me, proved a great blessing to my soul, as by his affectionate conversation I was much strengthened. I continued to try to do all the good I could by exhorting, singing and praying; but for months (as some thought) without much improvement, and frequently the friends would tell bro. R. to send me home and let me travel with him no longer. But bro. R. had received directions from the spirit of God and from bro. H. to bear me up and help me along; and willingly he obeyed; as he strengthened me in my weakness, comforted me in my trouble and proved a constant and unbiassed friend.
About the fourth time we went round our appointments it was said I had made vast improvement, but I felt as weak, unworthy and incapable as ever, though I could speak longer and better to the purpose. About the first of April, 1808, bro. R. thought the other young preacher and I could walk alone, but advised us to continue together; so he left us and went on through N. Carolina, and to the Western Country. We held on our old route and found our congregations to increase almost every day; very frequently having the evidences of the spirit of God with us, as sinners were convicted, some converted and many of the professors much [40] revived and comforted. As I now could take a text (as it is called) and speak on it as long as I thought proper, I found a better reception among the people and more friends. There was a big meeting, so called, appointed to be holden at Providence meeting house, eight miles below Norfolk, in the latter end of May. We continued on our route till this meeting came on, during which time, the work of the Lord broken out in several places, and souls were brought to the true light. From this meeting I concluded to travel by myself, and having sent a letter to my brother, in my old neighbourhood, directing an appointment to be made for me there the first Sabbath in June, I directed my course thitherward. Having exhausted my money for clothing and travelling expenses and having only received about one dollar during eight months, I now had none to bear me home: but the morning I started, a stranger came and gave me five dollars, for which I felt thankful to God that he had provided me a friend in time of need. I now was near three hundred miles from home--had a strange road to travel, and bidding a few friends farewell, I started. In Suffolk I preached to a few ill-bred hardened people. From thence to Halifax, in N. Carolina, from thence I preached in several places on to Hillsborough.
June 25th, 1808, I arrived at my appointment where there were hundreds of my old neighbors and acquaintances gathered mostly out of curiosity; some to make derision as they had done before, and some to see how I had come on, &c. But thanks be to God for the display of his power at that time. Many who came to laugh were constrained to weep, and many of the professors rejoiced and gave loud praise to God. I held several meetings in the neighborhood night and day successively where the glorious effects of divine grace were visible upon many. The Methodist preacher who once so rigidly opposed me; now joined to encourage and bid me God speed. O what a changeable, uncertain creature is man! Here, when I was a child too weak to stand alone there was none to take me by the hand and help me along. When all the vain and wicked were [41] against me the brethren were not on my side. But now it appeared I could walk alone all were willing to encourage me. Vain is the help of man, false are his flatteries and trifling are his opposition when the Lord is on our side.
After staying about ten days in the neighborhood I bid adieu to my mother and brother, whose eyes were now filled with tears while their mouths pronounced blessings and success to attend me; and directed my course toward Virginia. In the evening I came to a stranger's house in Casewell county. I introduced myself to him as a disciple of Christ and one who endeavored to preach his word. He said he was a man of no religion, neither did he care much about it; if I would stay with him I should be welcome, and as he had never heard a sucking boy preach, he would be glad if I would hold meeting in his house; accordingly an appointment was given out for the next day that a little boy was going to preach. When the time came a number of people collected. I spake to them on these words, "Remember thy Creator in the days of thy youth." I felt the assistance of divine grace and saw that the word was attended by the power of God to the hearts of many. The man of the house was sorely wounded in his spirit, at the sight of his sin, who wept and cried for the Lord to have mercy on him. I left him under the promise of seeking the Saviour till he found him, nor have I seen him since, but some months after I heard he was converted and joined the Freewill Baptists. From thence I went on and held meeting near Danville, then across Dan river in Pittsylvania county, and at the Court house, where a man told me I need not come there preaching for a wife, for there was none for me. Thence I went to Ward's springs and held preaching to a crooked and perverse people, some of whom threatened to tie me till I would promise to go back where I came from. However Mr. Ward stilled the bottle-suckers by sending them off and took care of me, and used me very kindly. This evening I felt disconsolate sometimes fearing from the present prospect that my trials would be too great to bear and that I might fall into the [42] hands of those who would cruelly entreat me and leave me half dead. But thinking on what many had borne for the sake of Jesus, my strength increased and I felt fully willing in giving myself to God, to bear with patience and fortitude whatever he might think proper to let fall on me, counting it the highest honor to suffer shame for the sake of my meek and lowly Saviour. From this place I went on and crossed Stanton river to Maj. Ward's. In him I found a precious old friend. In his house I held meeting to a large attentive assembly. The Methodists are numerous about here many of whom were very friendly to me. Professors seemed to be much comforted and some wept because of their sins. I then went to New London, thence to a place called the Tabernacle meeting house, where (on Sunday) I held preaching with a methodist preacher who gave a good sermon, but it seemed, he could not let me slip without giving me a few broad hints. He said he could not see for his part how any person could be so blinded as to pretend to go about the world preaching being connected with no society and bound by no discipline. As I spake last I asked the congregation if they did not consider that Jesus Christ had a church in the world which was constituted of converted and obedient souls and no others. By being born again, not of blood, nor of the will of the flesh, nor of the will of man but of God, said I, gives us membership in the church, and having had this change effected in me I am connected to Christ's church, and to have the name written in heaven is as good if not better than on a class paper to give us membership in that church. And as being bound by discipline I considered the word of God the best ever given to mankind, and that I held myself bound by and amenable to it every day. From this place I went on holding meetings every day in the neighborhoods round about. Crossed James River, came into Amherst county, Nelson, on Buffalo and Tie rivers, then crossed James river again into Buckingham. Near the river I held meeting in an old chapel (so called) on Sunday where hundreds were gathered and while preaching, some of the rude sort disturbed [43] a yellowjacket's nest at the end of the house near where I was; the yellowjackets soon began to wreak their vengeance on me, pouring in upon my face and ears so, that I had to retreat from the pulpit, but continued to preach. The Lord manifested his divine grace, to his people this day, caused them to rejoice, and several young people were cut to the heart and cried for God to be merciful to them. In several places in the adjacent neighborhood, I held meeting with seeming success, as some of the brethren were revived and comforted, some convicted and I somewhat persecuted. I visited Stony Point meeting house where we had a glorious time. Loud praises were given to Immanuel, and deep groans and piercing cries ascended to Jesus, for redemption--from 12 o'clock, till near sunset, while mourners were praying and christians rejoicing, during which time one young woman was brought to life and rejoiced in a Saviour's love. In a neighboring house we held meeting at candlelight which continued till midnight, while many happy souls should praise and two young men and one young woman lamented their sinful state. This was truly a joyful and happy day and night, to my soul, as I saw such manifestations of the divine goodness and so many seeking the salvation of their souls.
I now was generally known by the name of the boy preacher and from motives of curiosity, &c. congregations were generally large, which made the cross of Christ heavy on me; but my delight was in the Lord, and my joy was full in trying to be useful to perishing sinners, and in promoting the cause of my great Master. From thence I directed my course through Prince Edward and Charlotte Counties preaching almost every day and sometimes twice and three times in a day; where I met with some opposition from a Methodist preacher, and again from a Baptist preacher, who said I ought to go home and stay there till I had read and studied Dr. Gill's Body of Divinity. I observed to the congregation that I had read Dr. Gill, and found the dry bones and skeleton of a body, but could find no meat, nor nourishment in it to feed my soul, [44] and that I thought Christ's body of divinity was the best for me to read and study, which I was doing every day, from which I received much strength and consolation. In Chany Chapel and the neighborhood round, I held several meeting, where some few professors were stirred up to rejoice, and two or three were awakened to the knowledge of their sins, one of whom was shortly afterwards converted. In this part of the country I met with several very friendly preachers who professed to belong to the union of Christ's Church, who advised me to travel a circuitous route, that I might visit the same places every few weeks, to which I agreed. I then went on in the upper part of Charlotte County; on Big-Fallen I had some precious and glorious meetings. Here while preaching a young woman was taken with the jirks, which was the first of that exercise I had seen in Virginia, and the people being mostly strangers to the like were much alarmed at the operation, as she was frequently jirked from her seat and thrown involuntarily over the floor and across the benches in different directions. From 1 o'clock she continued in that state till late in the night, during which time the meeting did not entirely break, but some dispersed and told the strange news, which presently filled the house with new spectators and hearers, some of whom were powerfully operated upon by the spirit of God. Some were convinced of sin, some prayed for mercy and some shouted praise to God. This was the beginning of a good revival in this neighborhood. From thence I went on into Campbell County, preached in Campbell Court House where I met with a cold reception and much persecution, finding but one friend in the place, a tavern keeper, who treated me kindly. From thence preaching in a few obscure places, I came again to Majr. Ward's. Thence I continued visiting the same places alternately, taking the distance I suppose of upwards of two hundred miles, and above thirty five preaching places in my route and generally performing it in four, sometimes in three weeks. In October I left the south and went over on the northern side of the blue ridge. This was mostly a rugged lonesome, hungry and difficult journey to me. [45] After wandering along some mistaken paths, over high, dangerous spurs and mountains, I fell among a few inhabitants in a small valley, between great mountains, where I held meeting. The people were unaccustomed to much preaching, but some of them were solemnly affected, and all attentive to hear the word. I then pursued the difficult way, and falling in on James' river, I held meeting with a people mostly Baptists, more of whom were offended than pleased, as I was taken for a Methodist; from my doctrine of works, as they termed it. I then went on and preached in Pattonsburg in a tavern, where there were more drunken than sober people. From this place I went through Fincastle (did not preach there) on to Craig's creek. Here was a glorious revival among the people, particularly the methodists. I held several meetings in different places on the creek, where large congregations attended, and the power of God was manifest. Several young people dated their conviction from this visit, two of whom I saw happily converted to God, all which joined the methodist's sometime afterwards, as I understood. Here my soul felt some gracious and heavenly seasons, as I could see and hear the children of God rejoice, and sinners mourn for salvation. From this I went over a very high and lonesome mountain to Sinking creek, and held several meetings, some of which appeared to be profitable. At old Mr. Peck's a large congregation gathered, where a methodist preacher attended for the express purpose of controversy. I told him I should say nothing in that way, but preach what the Lord gave me and let him fight by himself. I spake on these words, "lift up a standard toward Zion." After giving a description of Zion, in lifting up a standard, by which the church and all the world were directed to happiness and heaven, among all the standards invented by men, in preference to any, I presented the Bible, the plain written express word of God as being all sufficient to govern, not only a person's own conduct aright, but the church of God in general, &c. The preacher then rose and observed he did not feel disposed to dispute much of the doctrine delivered, only on the point of church discipline. Upon [46] this point he began to contradict, and probably thought he was tearing me all to pieces, when he said "the word of God is not sufficient to rule and govern the church, unless it had eyes to see and a mouth to speak." And this I thought he had borrowed from the great Mr. S. He spent some time in such extraordinary sallies till he wearied and offended a great many with his fruitless fight. After he closed, I made no reply, but told the people to try to choose the best way. Several miles from this place, I held meeting at candle light, to an attentive congregation, some appeared to be deeply affected and desirous to be saved, though the neighborhood was said to be wretchedly wicked. From this I returned to Craig's creek, where I had a few more happy meetings. From Craig's creek I started for Raleigh, North Carolina, to attend meeting appointed to be holden there about the last of October. I passed through Fincastle, Liberty, New London, Majr. Ward's, Pittsylvania Court House, Danville, Casewell Court House, Hillsborough, and arrived in Raleigh, the second day of the meeting, having performed the journey speedily, preached five times on the way, and being directed wrong, lost my way south of Pittsylvania Court House, and was under the necessity of taking up my lodgings by the side of an old tree in the woods, without dinner or supper to satisfy my hunger, or mortal friend to bear me company. Though the night was lonesome to my flesh, yet I felt that God was in the place, and the consolations of his spirit were sweet and gracious to my soul. Here I was much consoled in thinking on these words. "Were I banished to the distant verge of the green earth, &c."
In Raleigh I met with many preachers collected from different quarters, we were glad to see each other (tho' some I had never seen before) and embrace in the arms of peace and union. The meeting lasted four days, in which time three souls were converted and some others were left seeking their Saviour sorrowing.
On Tuesday I left Raleigh in the company of bro. B. Rainey, a preacher from Orange; we went fifteen miles, and tarried all night with the pious J. O'Kelly. This was an agreeable, instructive and happy night to [47] my soul. Wednesday morning I directed my course with bro. B. toward Haw River, my native place. In the evening we held meeting on Haw Creek. Bro. B. preached. His discourse was well calculated to comfort Christians, and to alarm poor sinners of their dreadful danger. Each seemed to feel his portion. I think the Lord was with us. Thursday, I arrived at my mother's, found her, my brother and relations in the neighbourhood well, but very uneasy about me, as they had heard I was dead! I tarried two weeks and preached in the region round about almost every day. I was invited among the Presbyterians; attended some of the sacramental occasions, at Hawfield's, Cross-Roads, Enoe, &c.; and preached and partook at the Lord's table with them. Enoe and Hawfields meetings were memorable times.--Numbers were converted and convicted, and hundreds rejoiced in the blood of the Lamb, and shouted praise to God night and day!
In November I left those parts and went on through Guilford; preached in a meeting house belonging to the Presbyterians near Big-Buffalo, to a large congregation: a glorious effect was seen among the weeping croud. Thence in Guilford Court-House, eight miles further, I tarried all night with J. Clemmons, a rich, hospitable and humble Quaker. Thence into Stokes County, in a Lutherian settlement, where I had some cold, and by all appearances, unprofitable meetings. I gave the Gospel freely, but had to purchase my meat and lodgings with money. I then went into Surry county; preached on the Little Yadkin, without much effect. Five miles on at Wm. Gorden's to a large congregation mixed with Methodists and Baptists, among whom was a baptist preacher. The people were attentive, serious and some felt the holy spirit. The preacher was friendly and approbated what had been said. Seven miles from thence I held meetings at the Widow Davis'. The congregation was large. I felt uncommon liberty and consolation in delivering the word. Some Methodists shouted, some Quakers were offended at it, sinners wept. We had a happy meeting and delightful prospect of good. Praise to God for the presence. I then [48] went on and crossed the Blue Ridge at Flour Gap. Here I had the most extensive and delightful prospect of creation I ever had before. From thence I could see the distant hills and little mountains thrown, as it were by a careless hand, yet in beauteous order, over distant lands below. Numerous farms with many a rural scene rose into review, watered by purling rills, while distant Yadkin rolled along. Yonder stands dread Arrarat, forty miles distant, rising like an awful pyramid crowned was with a turret on the lofty mountain's top. The contemplations of the mighty former of all, that arose from the sight, were profitable to me as I was led to adore the great Creator, as wise, good and powerful without any parallel, and to view myself as a base particle, insignificant as nothing. I was then in Grayson County, Virginia. In went on to my brother Moses' on Chestnut Creek, with whom I lived in my great affliction. As I had not seen him for several years, since the Lord had converted my soul and sent me out to preach the Gospel, he was exceedingly glad to see me, and was much affected when I related the Lord's dealings to my soul.
I now commenced preaching in the neighbourhood where many had seen me years before lying on the borders of death, who had seen me a wild, wicked, unconcerned boy. Large congregations met and many wept bitterly. Though there was but little religion in these parts at this time yet I have reason to thank God for the glorious appearance I saw before I left there. At the iron works, the upper and lower forge, in other places around where I attended, and at Grayson Court-House, I saw my labor was not in vain in the Lord. A number of hard hearts and careless souls were softened by divine impressions; many were brought to pray and seek religion.
As my horse by this time, was travelled down and could perform no more, my brother Moses gave me a large and serviceable horse to travel with, and kept my poor worn out one for compensation.
The 2nd. of December I bade farewell to my brother and his family--praying the blessing of God to rest on [49] them, and faced the cold north wind for Poplar Camp. In the evening I crossed New River, and about dark came to my brother John Thomas' near the Lead works.
On Sunday I preached to a large congregation at the Lead Works. Here some of the people think they are rich and are extremely proud, haughty and wicked. Some behaved improperly in meeting, and I reproved them sharply, which created offence, and some hard threatenings. In this meeting two persons took the jirks; some seemed happy; some serious and some were very careless.
Here I felt the Lord had something for me to do in the route I had left some time ago, though my intention had been to steer further westwardly. I weighed the matter; prayed for instruction; felt comfort and strength and determined to obey what the Lord made most sensibly my duty. Accordingly I left my brother John and family, not knowing when I should see their faces again, on the 6th of Dec. and directed my course to what I called my circuit--Crossed Little and Big Reed Islands, in the latter my horse stumbled and wet me considerably; the weather being intensely cold my clothes were soon frozen, and to keep my feet from freezing, I had to pull off my stockings and walk with dry leaves in my shoes till my stockings dried. Being in a thin settled country, late in the night, in Montgomery County I found a house, where the man received me in from the pinching winds, which blew so bleakly on my thinly clothed body. The sufferings of this day are not easily told.
Dec. 7th. In the evening I crossed the Blue Ridge at the Dug-Spur; not far distant stayed at a house where the people were kind and hospitable.
Dec. 10th, came to one of my good old homes in my intended route. The family were glad to see me as they said they had been praying to God for my return. I now went on preaching in the places where I had been the summer previous, with some excursions, with such unremitted zeal, exposures of body and fatiguing labours together with an intense of study and reading, that found my strength fast failing, even before I had arrived [50] to the proper years of manhood. A spitting of blood ensued with loss of my voice, and I felt as declining to the grave; but at thoughts of death I felt glad, and could rejoice in God my Saviour, that if I was to die he had enabled me to spend a few happy months in his service below the skies, and gave me a hope of nobler praise above. Some of my friends, while in this state, persuaded me to abridge my labour, and temper my zeal, and though afterwards I found their advice was good and seasonable, I received it not, only as necessity urged me; then, and only then I felt forgiven in not labouring night and day for precious souls.
January 1st, 1809--At Majr. Ward's. Here I have been three days trying to regain strength, and a little voice, praying that I may be enabled again to speak the glad tidings of grace. This day, at this place, I spoke to an attentive crowd. who appeared anxious to hear, but all could not, I understood, through the weakness of my voice; but God perfected my weakness with the strength of his power by sending the word home to the hearts of many. Two women were pungently convicted and soon afterwards were converted; and, as I heard, one joined the Baptists and one joined the Methodists.
Jan. 4th. I left Majr. Wards to trace up my appointments, feeling a little strengthened in my lungs, but continued spitting blood. This evening north of New-London dark overtook me, and some time in the night, which was very dark and rainy, the top of a tree by the road side, broke and fell so near, that the top of a limb struck me on the leg and the horse on the head, and hurt me so badly that I had to wait for some time to recover strength to ride. This caused me to feel humble and thankful to God that I was not killed on the spot. About 9 o'clock I came to old bro. Wright's, being wounded, cold and wet. My reflections this night on the goodness of God, were comforting to my soul. His Omniscience scans the creation and sees the smallest particle. He views with complacency and delight the humble and contrite heart. He well knows their enemies and their formidable impediments. He is perfectly [51] acquainted with all their dangers; and as he views them with a paternal regard he numbers all their hairs. His Omnipotence stands as a bulwark to guard them round about. He baffles the mischief formed against them. He confuses the stratagems laid to ensnare, and rebukes their enemy. The temptations of the Devil, He conquers. His Omnipresence makes heaven delightful and glorious, and his children happy and joyful. He visits them in silent hours and darkest nights. He accompanies them in their journies and at their private homes, in the desert or in the city. In trouble He is their comfort; in sorrow, their joy; in distress, their consolation, and at all times, and in all places, He is their heaven and He their praise. When I considered that "as an Eagle stirreth up her nest, fluttereth over her young, taketh them, beareth them on her wings, so the Lord alone doth lead him, and there was no strange God with him; that He regardeth them as an apple of the eye; that they are engraved on the palms of his hands; that as a father pitieth his children so the Lord pitieth them that fear him," my soul exulted in his name, inexpressibly happy in believing that I was one of his little ones, protected and safely led along by his Almighty grace.
From thence I went on fulfilling my appointments, once and twice a day, seeing and feeling some happy times, with suffering much persecution, cold and rough seasons both from the weather and people.
January 27th. I went seeking some new places where I had not sounded the Gospel before; and being in a strange quarter some time in the night, I called at the house where a free-will Baptist preacher dwelt. He received me kindly, and afterwards I preached in his house several times, to large congregations, where a partial revival took place; two souls professed to be converted and several were under deep conviction, when I last visited them who promised by giving me their hands to try to meet me in the regions of everlasting love.
Jan. 28th. I crossed James' River over a very difficult and dangerous ford, especially at that time, as it [52] was much frozen up with ice. In some places the ice would bear the horse and in some places he would break in, and by the splashing of the water I soon became wet to the middle. In some places by the ice I was forced out of the ford into almost swimming water. Sometimes my heart almost failed me, but as I had an appointment before me, in God, I trusted the danger; and by his kind care I got over, but then I found myself in a greater difficulty; the path led along the north side of a tremendous hill, which was mostly sleek frozen with solid ice. Here I walked in my stocking feet, pulling myself along by the bushes and crags of rocks, driving my horse before me expecting every minute he would slide into the river beneath, but thank God I went safely over the dangerous place, only my bones ached with cold and my clothes rattled with ice.
At meeting, the Lord attended his word with power to many of the hearers--some wept and some rejoiced.
I continued faithful to my appointments, seeing considerable success attending my feeble labours, but persecutions seemed almost to surround me, and poured in from every quarter; while temptations were grievous to me. My character was assailed in several tender places, while some believed and some did not. I almost forgot the Apostle's advice when he said "Think it not strange concerning the fiery trial which shall try your faith as though some strange thing had happened to you." For by this time I concluded as I stood unimpeachable in my demeanor, there was nothing to fear from that quarter, and as few found objections to my ministerial performances, I thought I could get fairly along without suffering persecution; but to my then great mortification I found the christian must suffer it while there is a devil to tempt, or a sinner found on earth. As is too often the case when christians have to suffer in such respects, I was immediately for tracing reports, clearing up accounts, and having offenders to pay the balance by legal process, almost forgetting that it is written "Vengeance is mine saith the Lord and I will repay." However consulting several old experience soldiers of the cross, I was persuaded to bear and suffer as a Christian, to enter into [53] no explanations, nor controversies upon the subject but preach the Gospel and leave the event to God.
This advice was good, and as, upon deliberation and prayer, I found it most consistent with the spirit of Christ and gospel, I patiently endured and was enabled to rejoice and to glory in tribulation. By this, many of the evils soon died away, and all seemed to work together for good, both as to my usefulness and to the strengthening of my own soul. Many allurements and temptations now offered, which were very enticing and pleasing to the flesh, and I found myself surrounded with danger and difficulty while in the midst of friends and adulations. I now began to feel the force of trial on a diversity of situation, and to see the ingenuity of the devil in all his wiles. I now saw an elevated pinnacle was a more dangerous place to stand on, than to be weeping alone in the low sunk cypress valley. The necessity of much private meditation, devotion and fervent prayer was now evident. In order to continue humble, meek and lowly, avoid the snares and shun the traps and gins so thick around me, I spent much time in retirement and self mortification. I felt great desires and hard struggles to crucify the old man with his deeds and lusts. O when (thought I) shall these towering notions, these worldly thoughts, this love of applause, this vexation at persecution cease. O when shall I be resigned to all circumstances and contented in the varying situations of this fluctuating scene of life. O for that humility of soul to lie at the feet of Jesus and ascribe all the glory, honor and praise to him when fame rumours my name afar. O when shall I gain that holy courage, that divine undaunted disposition of soul to stand firm and unshaken, that heavenly and intimidated zeal to persevere, when derision, persecution and slander with her thousand tongues burst forth in united vollies to drive me down to swift destruction. O when shall I have that meek and quiet spirit which is in the sight of God of great price, that feels humble and thankful in prosperity, and patiently resigned in adversity. That holy temper that is even and uniform when distressful storms invade, or calmer skies shine propitious. [54] My constant petition was for that mind that was in Christ Jesus.
Feb. 20th. About this time I felt my strength of body and soul increase. Willing, I thought, to endure all things for the gospel. To feel and say Lord let thy will be done in me was my greatest happiness and my constant aim. My heart glowed with a heavenly zeal for the success of the Gospel, the salvation of sinners and the union of Christ's church. Lord make me useful in this cause, convert sinners, comfort mourners, rouse up formal professors and rejoice the hearts of thy children through my instrumentality, and I will praise thee and this shall be my meat and my drink. My faith was strong to put all my rest and dependance in the God of my salvation, and I went on rejoicing and spreading the Gospel. For some time past my trials have been great from suffering much by cold, hunger and persecution, but in all I have great cause to rejoice and to be thankful. Though satan rages, the Lord is with me, and though I suffer in the flesh I feel happy in the spirit. Though many sectarians raise up their force against me, God supports me and gives me strength to speak in his name.
In March I crossed the mountains, and went again to Craig's Creek, through much snow, ice and pinching winds. In this visit I found some who had formerly professed great friendship for me, and officiated together in one cause, were now turned against me, and by the advice of preachers (as I understood) they withstood and prohibited my preaching in their houses. But their persecutions and oppositions increased my congregations where the love and power of God, in many instances, overcame and destroyed prejudice and suspicious from the minds of many. Convictions rested on the hearts of many broken hearted sinners, backsliders were brought again to rejoice in their first love, and the cause in the course of two weeks, the time I spent with them, appeared gloriously prosperous. The Lord was graciously pleased to be with me somewhat remarkably at this time, as at first I could get no place to preach, only in the woods, where he made friends of [55] enemies, reached some hard hearts with his holy spirit, bringing them to the ground in cries for mercy and caused some to praise his name, who came with the spirit of opposition to me. Truly did the wilderness turn a fruitful place and the desert blossom as the rose. In this visit I had a demonstrative proof of the changeable uncertain nature of man, and was taught the danger of putting trust in earthly friends. A few months ago from the glorious work I saw here, from the many professions of friendship and the appearance of one-ness of spirit, I consoled myself on the cold snow top mountains that when I came here, I should see and meet with the same which would compensate the troubles and sufferings of the way; but disappointed in the extreme, the Lord alone was my friend, I trusted in him and was not left comfortless. Why will you (thought I) hope for stability and constancy in him that is subject to bigotry and ruled by party spirit. Why expect and depend on a continual union in him who has subscribed to the creeds, the doctrines, and commandments of men. Though the love of God may at times overcome him, dissolves his heart like wax before the flame into the soul of another, and feel united by the strictest ties of eternal love, yet obedience to the rules of his party shall make a separation and his name shall mark a perpetual distinction. Mark well for the time to come, be not deluded by a transient or sudden overflow of the love of God in others, nor too confident in their acts of kindness and professions of brotherly love, in their moments of ecstacy. Those flood may dry up and in the same channel may proceed streams of persecution and bitterness. Those acts of kindness may be succeeded by strife, railing and animosity; and those symptoms of brotherly love may turn to hatred, evil surmisings, gainsayings and in a resolute spirit of opposition may utterly supplant thy unward soul. Learn from hence to rejoice and be thankful in all appearances of God's work, but to depend on its professors no longer than the present and even then beware lest they betray you. The reason of those potent struggles against me by some of the professors was from a [56] fear of innovation, or a new church being introduced amongst them by me; though I had made no such intimation in public nor private. And had this been the fact, would that have been a sufficient reason for christians to persecute christians. If professors constituting a church are founded upon the rock, if they have God in them and with them to bless, protect and save them, can the gates of hell prevail against them? Can the talents and ingenuity of man deceive and destroy them? Why then in cases of innovations or at the introduction of something new or differing from their own sentiments, will those professors be the first up in arms against it. Why will they withstand, oppose and persecute with that bitter spirit which manifests so much wickedness. Behold the roman catholic church: when, what we call the reformation commenced among them, they deemed it damnable heresy and the most awful tortures and persecutions ever experienced by man were invented to impede its progress. But when the reformation prevailed, when they were tolerated, and when they became established by law, what was the fate of dissenters. Did not the very people who were grievously persecuted and who were willing to lay down their lives for the liberty of their conscience, when they had the power wreak the utmost of their vengeance on those who differed from them. Behold the Puritans, the Quakers, the Presbyterians, the Baptists and the Methodists what intolerable persecutions were inflicted on them in their rise and uniformly by those who considered themselves orthodox. Catholics while they had the power, punished the Protestants; the Protestants when they had the power, punished to the utmost of their authority the dissenters, by confiscations, banishments, fines, imprisonments and corporeal pain; and dissenters have punished dissenters as far as law has been found to favor them. The Presbyterians once fled from the voracious jaws of cruel persecution which once raged in old England and for refuge took up their abode on the barbarian and uncultivated shores of New-England, where in process of time they treated the most harmless sect on earth, (the Quakers) in as painful and [57] ignominious manner as the law permitted. The Baptists in Virginia suffered stripes and imprisonments from the established church. After the American revolution when all sects and parties were equally tolerated, what has been the spirit manifested? Baptists have contended, opposed and tongue-lashed the Methodists; the Presbyterians have looked upon them as a deceived enthusiastic people and have withstood them as such; and the Methodists in their turn have by no means been silent and unconcerned in the business of retaliation, for in many instances they have been known to dispute, controvert and oppose the other professions and to be violent against any thing new that differs from their own society. Is it not the same spirit that once put protestants to death when the law afforded aid, that now moves preachers of different sects to strive, contend and publicly defame and oppose each other as far as the law of the land permits them, and would not the same spirit, this dragon of hell, now put to tortures and death all who would not submit to their measures if they had the power, or if our gracious laws did not chain the monster to his knees. It may be said that in the former cases the church had degenerated, had swerved from the truth, became blinded by ignorance and had sunk into formality and death and reformation was necessary to improve the mind, to dissipate darkness, to defect priest craft, to revive the work of God, to restore the church and to establish in it the pure, spiritual workship of the Holy Ghost, and it was wicked in the extreme to oppose the work. Thus you look upon the reformers and dissenters who died, or suffered in the cause as the glorious martyrs of Jesus, and as champions of his cross, and those who opposed and persecuted them as being influenced and actuated by the spirit of hell. This is the view of the subject till times as late as the rise of the Baptists and Methodists in America. Since the revival and spread of those societies it appears the subject is viewed differently. If any thing new rises now it is considered as spurious; as the doctrine of Devils. If a man or men now dissent from all those societies and try to pull down nor promote no [58] particular sect, he or they are considered as being examples inimical to the fundamentals of religion; and as such it is thought by all parties to be doing God's service to withstand them and forbid their progress. What does this argue? Either that the human mind has arrived to its zenith of improvement in things of religion, or that those who oppose and contend with those who differ from them in sentiment, are the children of their father the devil, and his works they do. But is the church of Christ now in her state of perfection--has she shook herself from the dust and has she put on her beautiful garments of salvation, spiritual praise and heavenly mindedness. Has she no error, corruption nor human tradition? Has she no imperfection in sentiment, of heart and life as inculcated by the Scriptures, nor in ceremony, form and outward ordinances? If not where shall we find her? If she is in her pure spiritual state, under what denomination shall we seek to join her? If we say she is composed, exclusively of any one society, run and embrace her there; we at once suppose all others are deceived and wrong, which would be manifesting too much illiberality for a child of God. If she is composed of all the different denominations indiscriminately, why does she bite and devour herself. Could she breathe out threatenings and defame her different parts with the blackest exclamations as different societies do each other in the present day? If she could not it argues that reformation is yet necessary to the perfect restoration of pure and undefiled religion. And it is evident that the Church of Christ is capable and is as necessary of improvement, to her purification and primitive rectitude, at this time, as the human mind is capable of still rising, soaring, expatiating and improving in the arts and sciences and penetrating into (at present) many of the untaught literary acquisitions. Hence we see, if any one teach and preach the name of Jesus, offer him as the Saviour of the world by repentance and faith in his name, and forms his example consistent with his precept, though he may be distinguished by the name of either of the religious parties of the day, or if he may belong to none of those sects but stand separate [59] from all; it is persecution, the work of darkness, the malice of Satan and the spirit of the bottomless pit in any who differ from him, either in mode or sentiment, to forbid him, and exclaim against him, because he does not believe in circumstantials with them. In the same degree is he criminated and found to be of the Devil if he retaliates or opposes those who differ from him. Thus I then fully concluded in my mind that all those who were known to speak against, to controvert, or in anywise oppose the work of God, because it does not come precisely in their way, though his profession of religion may be as loud as seven fold thunder, his outward garb decorated, as a whited sepulchre, with long prayers and a sanctimonious countenance, and though he may preach with the wisdom of Solomon and the pretended zeal of an old Apostle, yet he is in the gall of bitterness and the bonds of iniquity, he is not of Christ but of that wicked one. Mark such an one and have no fellowship with him.
From this place I returned to my appointments from whence I cam and found in many parts very glorious appearances of the work of God.
April 10th. At Chany Chapel I attended a sacramental occasion (so called) holden by the society of the Republican Methodists. Their doctrine and discipline, as far as I understand, is a mixture from the Episcopal Methodists and modern Presbyterians. They are liberal in their sentiments, preach a free salvation, profess universal friendship to all societies, but their church is governed by human laws and rules of their own making, which as a fence, makes it a separate pasture and will prohibit many sheep from feeding therein. Their meeting at this place continued three days. On Sunday the spirit of the Lord was upon the people in a glorious manner. The Lord's supper was a season of love, comfort, joy and christian fellowship, I partook with them to the strength, nourishment and consolation of my soul. There were two souls professed to be brought home to Jesus and many dissolved in years. Here we preached, prayed, and wrought the work of [60] God together as brothers and children of the same family.
The spring of the year with all her reviving and blooming charms now begins to open. The cold north winds cease to blow and the white mantling snows are melted off. The rising summits of the distant hills with the fertile vales that lie between, now expand their living green. The torpid birds now flutter and sing "Lo the winter is past, the rain is over and gone; the flowers appear on the earth; the time of the singing of birds is come, and the voice of the turtle is heard in our land." O thought I, when, in like manner, will the cold storms of persecution, contentions and oppositions among professed christians cease to blow. When shall their trials, difficulties and the thick clouds of darkness, temptations and doubts that overshadow them be dissipated and turned into a serene morning of spiritual joy? When shall the winter of freezing formality, carnal ease, dullness, coldness, backwardness and indifference that reigns with such universal and severe rigor over too many hundreds of professors of religion, roll off her chilling period and open into charming, delightful spring. When christians of every sect, like birds of every name, shall rise, revive and sing their universal praise while intermingling joy and friendship unite their unceasing notes of cheering grace.
April 24th. According to appointment I, with two other preachers, met at Stony-point meeting house in Buckingham County, to preach and administer the Lord's supper, &c. the meeting to continue three days. This day the congregation was not large, but very attentive and by the pathetic, very feeling and applicable discourse of brother W. C. the brethren in Christ seemed much revived and animated, sinners were touched to the heart, and there was a general weeping among all present. At candle light we held meeting in the same place, the congregation was large. I attempted to preach first, but alas! before proceeding far in my discourse, found I had rose up too much in my own strength. Darkness covered my subject, temptation assailed me, and I found no ability nor words wherewith to express [61] myself and in much shame and confusion told the people what I though they well knew, that I could not preach for them, and gave place to brother J. His discourse had a general and good effect upon the audience. Some were moved to praise God aloud, and some were brought to the floor under deep conviction for their sins. Praying, singing and exhorting, &c. then succeeded and continued the greater part of the night, and truly the Lord was in the place to make his children happy. But my temptations and feelings were such that I could participate but little in their joy. I now felt the smart of a man-fearing, and man-pleasing spirit; for as the cross was grievous to me to preach in the presence of old experienced preachers at this time, to please, and make a full display of what, I thought, was in me I was thrown, into a labyrinth of nothing and completely confounded. I now was led to see that the same God, who turned the counsel of Ahithophel into foolishness could, by withdrawing his presence from me a few minutes, turn my light into darkness and my wisdom into vanity.
The second day of the meeting (Sunday) a large congregation met together, and christians of different denominations were present. The morning I felt my unworthiness and plainly saw that without the constant aid, support and assistance of the Divine Spirit, could do nothing, neither could I glorify God and enjoy him in myself nor be the least useful to others. With my emptiness and poverty I presented myself to Him that is rich unto all who call upon him, with tears and struggles. I implored his favour and beneficence and found my wants abundantly supplied. Repairing to meeting, seeing the people gathering to worship, my soul felt humbled in the dust and great joy in the God of my salvation. My faith increased and I was confident the Lord would be with us through the day to the salvation of souls. About 10 o'clock, worship commenced by my going forward, having no confidence in the flesh, to speak to the attentive crowd. The Lord was pleased to attend the word with much power to the heart of saint and sinner. The shouts of christians and cries of the broken hearted drowned my voice, with joy inexpressible [62] and full of glory, I fell in the place where I stood and there remained for some time. In the afternoon the Lord's supper was prepared and brother J. designated, according to the scriptures, those who should come forward. He invited all who had been born of the spirit of God, brought from darkness to light, and from the gall of bitterness to the enjoyment of God's love, of every denomination, who walk uprightly and humbly before him to set down together. As it was the Lord's table, it was for his people to manifest their friendship, love and union with each other by partaking together. The fountains of heavenly love seemed to open upon the people. Methodists, some Baptists, and others came forward and eat and drank in union as those of one parent and of one family. This was so singular and so striking an evidence of the reality of the Christian religion and such a prelude of that general and universal union which shall finally prevail over and among all denominations, that its effect was almost irresistibly glorious in all the congregation. O the joy and happiness with which the people of God were filled, are not soon to be forgotten. Songs of praise resounded among us, and no doubt the Angels in heaven rejoiced over two sinners who repented and believed in Jesus.
The meeting continued almost all night while many were exceeding happy and many were mourning at the sight of their sins. On Monday the people gathered early and continued together in worship till late in the evening, while prayers and praises continually resounded. When we were about to bid farewell and disperse it was a weeping, melting scene. Our hearts were united and our souls had enjoyed an earnest of that love and glory which are laid up for the righteous above; but we, in body, had to separate not knowing that we should meet again, till we met in the paradise of God. Some went away rejoicing and others weeping and crying for the Lord to shew them mercy.
From this place I attended at several places where I saw some good was done, but one place I had a severe trial, where a drunken man made a great interruption, by calling me a d---d fool, liar, hypocrite, &c. loudly [63] threatening to beat my d---d brains out. He was taken out of the house, and the doors shut against him, and after throwing a few stones against the walls and on the roof, he went away.
The 4th and 5th of May, I held two days meeting at brother Sledd's (a preacher) and he administered the Lord's supper on Sunday, in the presence of a large congregation and to some of different names, but whose natures and minds seemed to be one in Christ. It was a solemn, heavenly, weeping, rejoicing time to many present.
Within a few weeks past I have seen many evidences of the divine favour in the conversion of sinners and blessed appearances of that union and oneness which shall, one day, reign over all God's people, when the Lord shall be king in all the earth and his name one. My heart has been enraptured in contemplating its divine effects and happy influence. Though at times my soul has been subject to grievous temptations. Many of my past performances I see have been far beneath the privilege and pure, spiritual devotion which I ought to have manifested. I fear I am not humble, and seriously enough engaged in the work of God. I am born for eternity and bound for that unknown place of endless reality. There is a God who surveys all the actions of my life and knows all the secrets of my heart. I profess to know and to be a follower of his Son, who was holy, harmless and separate from sinners. Who was tempted in all points but without sin, persecuted, but threatened not, was reviled, but reviled not again, and who in all the demeanor of his life was heavenly minded, patient and fervent in doing the will of his Father. Without his mind I am none of his, without his spirit constantly in me I cannot serve him. O how solemn and obedient should I walk, how careful tread my steps in him to God. How cautious should I speak, as every idle word is to be brought into judgment, and how sincerely and heavenly should I act in his will in every thought, word and action of my life, every day and every hour. O that I may ever feel that I am nothing and that Christ is all and in all with me; that my joy [64] may be unceasing and full of glory. When shall all those fleshly and distressful passions be subdued and subjugated by grace and swallowed up in happy acquiescence to the Divine Will.
From brother Sledd's I (with S.) went on for the great meeting to be holden on the 19th of May, in Halifax County, Va. not far distant from Danville. On our way we held meeting at Majr. Ward's to a large assembly. I felt sweet liberty in addressing the people and saw the word was received to the joy and comfort of some, and to the conviction of others. Brother S. spake with much zeal and energy, and established what I had said with many passages of Scripture. At the breaking up of our meeting, as I was bidding the dear people farewell, perhaps to see them no more forever, it was a weeping, yet joyful time to many of us, as we parted hoping to meet where we should part no more. We tarried all night at this place and during the evening I received an anonymous writing sent me which contained the following queries:
Q. 1st. If God is infinite in wisdom, and foreknew all things from the beginning to the end, did he not know that Adam would sin before he made him?
Q. 2nd. When God made Adam and he knew that Adam would transgress his law and incur the severest punishment, was it right in God to give him that law?
Q. 3rd. If God knew of every crimes and species of sin that would succeed Adam's transgression, can those crimes be avoided? If so, why did he not counteract every thing so disagreeable to his will in the formation of man?
Q. 4th. Is it right in God to create and punish a creature for transgressing his law when he knows he will do so before he has made him.
Q. 5th. Did not God know from the beginning who would be saved and who lost, and can it possibly come to pass otherwise?
Q. 6th. Could not God as easily have prevented as admitted the present constitution of mortality and its concomitant imperfections; if so, are not all things as they are perfectly agreeable to his eternal purpose? [65]
Sir,
I have heard you preach. I know your youth; but let this be no excuse for not answering those questions, for whoever undertakes a business he should be well acquainted with its different parts, and if he is not he should be detected and confounded.
I am yours, &c. |
Sir, There is no doubt of the infinitude of God's wisdom and that he had perfect knowledge of all things from the beginning, that should transpire in all duration whether in heaven or earth. But that this knowledge had or would have an irresistible influence, and uncontrolable predominance and a secret over ruling bias, in each and all the actions of angels and men, would be incompatible to the character of God and as inconsistent as to believe the man walks, because I see him walk; or that my seeing gives strength to my hand and volition to my pen while I write. God saw that he would make Adam; he saw he would make him very good, and he saw that his seeing him should have no influence over his actions. in this quere you ask if God did not know Adam would sin before he made him? I ask what constitutes sin. Is it not an intelligent creature acting freely and voluntarily in disobedience to the will or law of a Superior? Then, if God saw Adam would sin he saw that he was an intelligent creature, and consequently he saw that he must and would act freely and voluntarily, otherwise he could not sin; and he saw if he sinned it should be voluntary, and if voluntary he saw that his seeing should be no decree on Adam's will.
2. You ask if it was right in God to give Adam a law which he knew he would violate and thereby incur the severest punishment? I answer, as Adam must have had (if he was a man) a voluntary will to act for himself--as he had intelligence to discover the turpitude of transgression and excellence of obedience; as it would declare the character of his divine author, to reward virtue, or obedience, and punish vice or disobedience; and as there can be no virtue nor obedience, no vice nor [66] disobedience, no reward nor punishment and of course no consciencious happiness without law (or a test of trial) it was right to give Adam a law which God saw he could obey and though he saw he would transgress, yet he saw that should be a free and willing transgression of his own, for which he saw it was right for Adam to be punished. Again: we think it is right for our countrymen to make laws for us to act by, admitting those laws are made to the suppression of vice and the promotion of virtue, though the law-makers know at the same time some, or all, might transgress and thereby incur the severest punishment.
3. You ask if those crimes which should succeed Adam's transgressions can be avoided? I answer they either can, or cannot. If man's will is voluntary, if he can act at his own consent, they can be avoided. But if man's will is bound by an irrevocable decree, if he enters into action by coersive authority, that action must be and it cannot be avoided. If man is moved into action by a secret and almighty authority; if that agency acts consistent with itself (which must be) let the action be what it may, it is agreeable to the authority by which he acted, of course there is no crime; for without disobedience there can be no crime, and it is impossible to disobey uncontrolable power. If a man has not an irresistible propensity given him, propelling him to murder, steal, commit adultery, &c. &c. he acts freely and by voluntary consent, and if so, the same power by which he wills to act; he can will to forbear to act; consequently those actions can be avoided. If so, you ask why were not those things, so disagreeable to the will of God, counteracted in the formation of man? To this I only answer, man in a state of probation could not be created as impeccable angels.
4. Is it right in God (you ask) to create and punish a creature for transgressing his law, when he knows he will do so before he has made him? I answer it was right for God to create man, or he would, he could not have done it. It was right to create him an intelligent, free, voluntary creature, otherwise he could not act virtuously, nor viciously, of course could not merit reward nor punishment. And as it was right to make him thus [67] it was also right to address him with a law suited to his capacity, calculated to promote virtue and punish vice. And though God saw Adam would transgress, yet this was no reason why God should not create him very good, give him a good law, reward his good actions and punish him for his transgressions.
5. You ask, did not God know from the beginning who would be saved and who lost, and can it possibly come to pass otherwise? For instance, I will say God knew from the beginning, you should be born, you should live and die a good man and that you should be taken to glory. He knew also that I should be born, should be a bad man, die in impenitency and be lost. Now if this cannot be otherwise, because God saw it might be so, I ask what difference is there in our situations? If you have to be of necessity, what God knew you might be, a good man, and it is impossible for you to be a vicious man, you can have no virtue (for it is no virtue in a stone to roll downward, or to be carried upward) and if you have no virtue, you can have no reward, and if no reward, there is no glory. As God saw I might be a bad man and at last would be lost, and if it cannot be otherwise it of course follows that it was the eternal decree and unchangeable will of God, and if it was his will that I should be a thief, a liar, a drunkard, a murderer, &c. it is no vice in me to be so, inasmuch as I am fulfilling the decree and will of God as completely as you do when you pray and preach, &c. And though there is a difference in our actions in the sight of men, yet in the sight of God they are the same, for we both act agreeably to his unchangeable will, and as this is no vice in me, I can have no consciousness of guilt, and if no guilt I can feel no pain, so far from it that from my knowledge of having done the will of God in the course of my debauchery and wickedness, it most unquestionably gives me as divine and unalterable a title to his praise and glory as you can have, by fulfilling his will by leading a different life; for as I have alone no vice, I cannot be punished, and as you have no virtue you can have no reward, which sets us both eternally on the same seat. [68]
God surely knew from the beginning who would be saved and who lost; that is, he knew that every man should be revealed according to the deeds done in his own body whether they be good or evil--and to this end he knew that he would create man very good, give him a good and righteous law to act by, give him intelligence to know the purport of that law, and he knew in order for man to be an accountable creature, that he should have that power originated in his formation by which he could and might act freely and of his own voluntary consent; and though God saw some would act freely, sensibly and impenitently against the expression of his will and be lest, he knew they might have acted otherwise. On this plan, as God knew from the beginning some would be saved, that is a proof that all might be saved or all might be lost according to the actions of their own voluntary consent and the righteousness of his own law. God knew man would sin, he knew he would provide him a Saviour who should be able to save to the uttermost all that would come to God through him. He knew he would call sinners and command them to believe in the Saviour, and be saved. He knew some would not believe and that it should be just they should be damned, as they might have acted otherwise and been saved. He knew some would believe, be obedient and be saved, and that they might have acted otherwise and been damned, as he knew he would be partial to none, but universally equal to all. Hence I answer though God knew who would be saved and who lost, as that knowledge should have no influence over their actions it might be otherwise; that is, all men might be saved, unless he would deceive us, who says, God would have all men to be saved and come unto the knowledge of the truth.
6th. Lastly you ask, could not God as easily have prevented as admitted the present constitution of mortality and its concomitant imperfections? If so are not all things as they are perfectly agreeable to his eternal purpose?
1st. I suppose it might have been as easy with God not to have made man as to have made him but this is [69] no reason that all the actions of men, theft, robbery, murder &c. are perfectly agreeable to his eternal purpose?
2nd. In a word, you seem to ask if God could not as easily have created angels impeccable, far beyond the power of temptation and sinful action, immortal, not subject of death, disease, mortality and its concomitant imperfections as to have created man; and then ask, if so, are not all things as they are, that is, are not the most abominable actions committed by men, perfectly agreeable to God's eternal purpose.
3d. If I purpose to do or have any thing done, if I do it of myself, or through any other agency I certainly am the author, or primary cause, of that action. The actions of stealing, drunkeness, adultery and murder, with many other abominations, have been done in our world; now, if it was God's eternal purpose that those actions should be committed, as he could not commit them himself, he created man for his agent, gave him a propensity and propelled him on to the work which he purposed, the action of which purpose, of course could not be avoided in man, then is not God completely the author or primary cause of those actions? But as God is a merciful, gracious and just being, he did not, he could not purpose those actions, therefore those actions are not agreeable to his purpose, unless his oath is false when he swears he has no pleasure in the soul that dieth.
SIR,
By the diction of your letter, which I have tried to answer, it seems you are tinctured with deism and well fraught with the calvinistic decrees which I fear, by your enquiries, may ultimately lead you on in the indulgence of all the sinful propensities of the human heart, at the same time think you are doing the will of God, otherwise he would prevent your actions.
Be your profession and sentiments what they may, is not important with me, but I beseech you, as every man shall be rewarded according to his own works, to fear God and keep his commandments, for this is the whole duty of man.
I am, yours, &c. | |
J. THOMAS. [70] |
From this place we went on, held meeting in Charlotte County, where we had a comfortable time; then went to T. J., a preacher, where we were met by two other preachers going on to the same meeting we were bound for. One of the men was quite a youth, just from New England, who at that time manifested much humility and zeal for the cause of God, whose name was F. P. We all had a precious night in conversing together on the glorious appearance of the work of God in different places. It rejoiced us to hear that many were giving up their traditions and human systems to embrace the fullness of the simplicity and liberty of the Gospel, that the power of bigotry and partyism was conquered by the love of God in the hearts of many, and that many sinners were converted, rejoicing in the blood of the Lamb.
The next day we all went on to the neighborhood of Shiloh (the place intended for the great meeting.) On Friday the 19th of May, the meeting commenced, where the man, under whose sermon my eyes were opened, preached the first sermon to an attentive congregation, who were generally much affected under his powerful discourse. At candle light we met again for worship, at which time the people were gathering in from different quarters from afar and thirteen preachers had collected, among whom I saw, and was glad to meet, my dear brother T. Reeves, who lead me along when I was weak and helpless. It was proposed that I should preach to the congregation. I did so, to the joy of my own soul and to the comfort of others. But in this I must have been deceived, or else F. P. from N. E. must have been very wrong when, after I closed, he immediately rose up and gave a discourse in which he said "such preaching was not fit for God, men nor Devils." This with other ostentatious motions, disgusted some of the preaching brethren, so that he was not generally received, and though he came to open a communication between, and to unite the people called Christians in the Eastern and Southern States together, he did not succeed; especially when it was known that [71] he did not consider Jesus Christ should be worshipped as God.
On Saturday and Sunday the congregation was very extensive and many felt the word preached to them. Some praised God aloud and some cried aloud for mercy. When the Lord's supper was given the union and fellowship among some of different societies who sat together were lovely and joyful.
On Monday morning, as I had come to this meeting recommended by a number of friends where I had travelled, to be ordained an Elder, according to the New Testament, by the laying on of hands of the Presbytery, the subject was consulted among the preachers but the objections of my being too young and that ordination at such an age might make me proud, so that I would be caught in the snare and temptation of the devil, were brought forward, and it was thought proper by some of them that it should be postponed. At 10 o'clock the preaching commenced again, and several sermons were delivered. The people were remarkably affected with the weight of divine truth, and late in the evening when the meeting was about to disperse, many prayers were put up to the Great Head of the church for the union and fellowship of his spirit to continue with us, to prevail over his people every where and bring them into one. At this meeting three souls were converted, brought into marvellous light, and rejoiced in the love of God. Many were deeply convicted and were seeking the Saviour sorrowing. Here my soul was much refreshed, comforted, humbled, and strengthened. When the time came that preachers and people were to bid farewell, our weeping was great and general, but we anticipated that inexpressible joy we should feel when we should meet to part no more.
The sweet and heavenly union, the firm and lasting friendship, the oneness of soul, spirit and mind which the religion of Jesus gives to make strangers feel stronger ties of fraternal affection than those of nature, is one of its admirable and useful excellencies, and that alone, when it discovers itself in a person or persons would prove the work to be of God and not of selfish nature. [72] This evidence was abundantly manifested among many at this meeting. My own soul, I felt, participated largely of this divine influence.
This evening we left the meeting ground and I went on four miles toward Danville and tarried all night at the house of a pious old man who daughter was convicted at the meeting and began to seek her salvation. Her penitence and prayers this night for the remission of sins were sincere and somewhat remarkable, as she was under a fearful apprehension she would never awake if she went to sleep before she was converted, wherefore she was up (it was said) all night praying. In the morning, in family prayer, her sorrow was turned into joy. She gave praise to her Saviour from a knowledge of his having pardoned her sins. This was also a happy time with her parents and with me. I then went on, crossed the Dan river, came into North Carolina, and at night held meeting at brother W. in Casewell County, to an inattentive and unaffected people. My mind was much depressed and discouraged while speaking to them; unbelief darkened my subject and I felt such embarrassment that I wished I had not attempted it. But I found afterwards it had a good effect upon me as I saw great need of drawing nigher to God, by constant and faithful prayer. Next morning I also understood that one man was so deeply affected and sensibly convinced of his lost and sinful condition, on his way home he fell on his knees and prayed mightily for the Lord to be merciful to his soul. This gave me to understand that I should not be discouraged under gloomy appearances, nor be to much transported at what I esteemed a gracious prospect; but be happily resigned in dispensing the word of the Lord, as he gave me utterance and leave the event to God.
From this place I directed my course to my native place; in the evening I arrived there, and found my mother, brother and relations well. We were glad that the Lord had brought me through many trials, troubles and dangers, to see them again on this stage of sorrow.
May 28th. On Sunday I held meeting in the [73] neighbourhood to a large congregation, where the Lord was pleased to meet with us to the great joy and comfort of many, while others were seen weeping, because their hearts were reached with the Holy Spirit. Here was a Presbyterian woman, who, after being taken with the jirks and shouting, exhorted to the astonishment of the congregation and many felt her words to the heart. At candlelight I held preaching at my brother-in-law's, where the people were powerfully operated upon by divine grace. Through the week I held preaching in the neighbouring houses every evening. The people attended with great avidity to hear the word, and many were deeply impressed with a solemn sense of their sins. My young acquaintances who once despised and ridiculed me for endeavouring to obey my Saviour, now desire to have a part and lot with me in him.
On the next Sunday I went 12 miles to Reedy Fork, Apple's meeting house, (so called) in Guilford County, where I met J. O'Kelly, and an extensive auditory. We both preached to the people and he administered the Lord's supper to a large number of dear disciples. This was a glorious and happy day to my soul, and I think to others, as loud hosannahs were given by many to the son of David and him that cometh in the name of the Lord. At candle-light we held meeting not far distant, where also the people of God were much comforted and some wept bitterly. In this meeting a German was influenced to exhort and pray, though I could not understand his language, I felt the good spirit by which he spake.
June 5th. From this place I went on westwardly through Guilford, Stokes, Iredel and Surry Counties, preaching almost every day, sometimes twice, only while in some parts of Iredel, the people being mostly Presbyterians and Seceders, they were not disposed to receive me, nor let me preach amongst them. I went from thence to Grayson and Wythe Counties, Va. where I continued ten days and preached successively every day, sometimes twice, generally to attentive congregations; some among them were deeply impressed [74] with the knowledge of their sins, and I left them determined, by promise, to seek the Saviour till they should find him precious to their souls.
I then returned to North Carolina again. Tarried two days with my relations on Haw-River and then directed my course through the lower parts of the state, in the regions round about Edenton. Here at this season the weather is excessively warm, the moschettos and gnats very troublesome. The water extremely bad and insalubrious. The swamps numerous, large and dismal, which make it disagreeable travelling. In these parts the Methodists are most numerous, the most of whom received me to preach in their houses and used me hospitably and brotherly. Many of them esteem it right and necessary that all the children of God should be one and unite together in the bonds of perfect love. My soul is often refreshed and comforted in speaking to the people, as many rejoice and some are convinced of their sins, constrained to weep and brought to pray. For some time past I have, somewhat like the ravens, to depend upon the bounties of heaven for my provision and support, as the last of my money, which I received for my watch I was under the necessity of selling, has been expended; however though I suffer adversity and hunger, I rejoice that it is for the name and sake of Jesus, and for the salvation of souls.
Not far from Tarborough I called at an Inn, late in the evening, asked the landlord to stay all night under his roof, telling him that I had no money. He immediately began to interrogate me very impertinently; asking me where I cam from, where I was going to and what was my business, &c. I told him. he then swore that he thought I was some runaway apprentice boy, and that the horse I was on was a stolen one and he had a great mind to take me up as such. I told him he was very welcome to try the job and by that means I might get a nights lodging with him. However he cursed me to be gone off as he would not be troubled about it. I started and in going a short distance by the light of the moon I discovered a path that lead [75] through a dark, thick woods, which I followed. This was a large, dry swamp. While passing along this lonesome place I heard the melancholy, discordant notes of a strange night-bird, which I had never heard before, and which I am told is peculiar to these swamps. At first its plaintive moans, I thought, were portentous and somewhat alarming, as they sometimes imitated the cries of wild distress and then the expiring groans of the dying. In going about two miles I came to a rural mansion, which represented, as I found the turn and style of its author, elegant, but not superfluous; grand, but not gorgeous; neat, plain and humble. The man rose out of his bed and though a stranger he took me in, I was hungry and he fed me. This night, while lying and musing on the goodness of God, the consolations of his spirit were great to my soul and the presence of his grace, added supreme and inexpressible delight. Here many a lonesome scene and joyful hour which I had passed with many of the manifest evidences of the goodness of God, made known to me, rose into review and filled my heart with gratitude and joy. I mused upon the variety and infinite wisdom and everlasting mercies of God, in his dealings toward the children of men, especially to those who loved and kept his commandments--to the promotion and spreading of the knowledge of his salvation in the world. How he, by his spirit, influences some to sacrifice the honors, prospects, pleasures, amusements, riches, advantages of the world, to esteem them all as dross and choose to leave father and mother, sometimes wife and children, house and land and take their lives in their hands and freely brave the dangers, necessities and persecutions of a wicked world, while they go forth to bear untoldffli diculties, trials, temptations, sufferings, toils, fatigues and labours to preach the glad tidings of salvation and the good news of heaven to men. And how He in all the variety of their circumstances, aids, assists, supports and provides for the faithful in their work. How ingeniously he provides for their wants, directs their way and enables them to do that for which they were sent. What abundant cause I saw for thanksgiving, [76] adoration and praise! O never let me forget thy wonders nor my soul cease to love and worship thee.
O may I always find they grace so sweet,
As now I lay me down at Jesus' feet; O may transporting joys bear me above All earthly objects, or a creatures love. |
In the morning, in conversation with my host, I found him to be a man of profound piety and good sense, but was attached, as a member, to no religious society; the family was agreeable and I thought every thing seemed to be situated in a delightful medium between inconvenient poverty and superfluous grandeur. I was invited to stay the day with him and preach in his house before I left him, to which I consented and preached to an attentive and serious congregation, at candlelight. I had faith to believe the Lord would make the word useful and profitable to some of their souls.
On the next morning when I was about to start my host gave me one dollar, commended me to the protection of Almighty grace and bid me God speed in the heavenly road.
I now directed my course for the old route where I first travelled with brother R. About the 15th of July I arrived there at a place called Holy Neck Chapel. My old friends here were glad to see me and that I had visited them again. The religion of Jesus is on a low stand, if there is amy at all, at this place. The people are very formal, depending, I fear, altogether in their mortality for salvation and do not like to be disturbed with warm, or what they call noisy preaching, which I think, is a sign of an evil and unclean heart; however I saw some appearance that a few might see the necessity of drawing nigher to God.
I now went on preaching every day--directing my course still lower down the Country, in Virginia and North Carolina. Went through what is called the Dismal Swamp, an extensive wilderness lying between Edenton and Norfolk, through which there is a Canal now making (and now finished above twenty miles in [77] length) to unite the traffic of the two places together. Then went on through a place called the Great Bridge. Then to my old friend R. Haggard's, Norfolk, Portsmouth and several places to Suffolk. Then on through Isle of Wight into Surry County. At Lebanon meeting house, the first Sabbath in August, the Lord was pleased to visit us in a very instantaneous and powerful manner with his converting grace. The professors for some time had been in a cold and formal state about here, and sinners very careless and inattentive to the word of God. But on this day while I was preaching the power of God was manifested, as in an instant, in the conviction of a number, who fell to the floor crying the more, thou son of David have mercy on us; what shall I do to be saved? Many of the professors were immediately revived who expressed loud praise to God, while prayers, acclamations and penitential cried filled the house and were heard afar off. During the afternoon three of the mourners were comforted, were translated from darkness into marvellous light and rejoiced in the glorious liberty of the children of God. The meeting did not disperse till about sun set, then only to repair to a neighbor's house to continue the worship with more convenience. We there waited and worshipped before God all night and till 10 o'clock on the next day, by preaching, singing, praying and praising incessantly, in which time four more were brought to the knowledge of their sins forgiven, and were made happy in the salvation of God. At 8 o'clock in the afternoon the people came together again for worship. I began to preach to them but the sound of cries, praise and prayers soon drowned my voice and I gave up the subject to a different operation of the spirit. This meeting did not close till next morning (Tuesday) during which time the neighbours were going to or from the place, I believe almost constantly. Against Tuesday morning, when necessity demanded our dispersion, there were six more converted to God and testified that Jesus had power on earth to forgive their sins, which made thirteen in number since the glorious work began on the Sunday previous. On this morning I left an appointment to preach at Lebanon again on the next [78] Sabbath day, and went several miles and preached at J. Judkin's, a dear man of God, who was kind, tender and affectionate to me when I was weak and helpless in my calling, to attentive people, some of whom were much affected and deeply concerned about the welfare of their souls. There is a prospect that the work of God will revive and prosper at this place also.
Wednesday I went on and at 12 o'clock preached to a few attentive people at brother Holloway's. At candlelight, several miles further, at W. Cappell's in Sussex County. In this neighbourhood the people seem to be fond of going to meeting, but not very desirous to receive the ingrafted word which is able to save their souls. But the whole of this family (which is large) profess religion, and seem to be in earnest to work out their Salvation with fear and trembling.
Thursday, went on and at 12 o'clock preached at brother Barrett's meeting house, in Southampton, where there was already a good appearance of the work of God, through the instrumentality of brother B. but this day we had a more visible manifestation of divine grace in the conviction of several, and in the profession of two happy souls who were born of God and acclaimed their praise to Jesus. At candlelight we held meeting in brother B's house, to a large congregation. I spake upon these words, "and when he came to himself, he said how many of my father's hired servants have bread enough and to spare and I perish with hunger. I will arise and go to my father and will say, father I have sinned against heaven and before thee, and am no more worthy to be called thy son, make me as one of thy hired servants." I had heavenly light, sweet liberty and great comfort in speaking on the subject, as I once felt myself in a similar situation to the one whom I was describing. The power of the Holy Ghost fell on us and the work of God was marvellous in our eyes. Several persons fell on the floor as condemned, guilty rebels, crying for mercy, as they saw they had sinned against heaven and before God. Among the many mourners was brother B's son, Mills, a young man, who [79] had been considerably wild and wicked. Three of those who mourned in deep distress, were released from their bondage, brought into light and liberty, and gave glory to God in the highest. This was a memorable night, a glorious time and great beginning to the glorious revival which spread and prevailed in the regions round about.
Friday, I held meeting twice in the neighbourhood, where the people crowded together to see this strange work (as they called it) and where many who came for curiosity felt the quickening and convincing operations of the Holy Spirit.
Saturday, I returned to the neighborhood of Lebanon, and at candlelight held meeting. I found the work of God was still going on and had increased while I was gone. Three or four had been converted, and several more effectually convinced of their sins. I now found that almost every house was a house of prayer, and that many of the old professors, who a few weeks ago, were mute and pretended to say nothing in the cause of Christ, were now emboldened and enabled to sing, pray, exhort and hold meetings to the profit of their own souls and others.
On Sunday, I went to Lebanon, where perhaps there were 1000 or 1500 people gathered. Brother B. and his son M. who was yet in deep conviction and concern for his salvation, met me here. I endeavoured to preach to the people, but the exercise of shouting, praying and crying soon prevented the people from hearing me. Brother B. exhorted among them, while divine power attended the word. The meeting continued till late in the evening, while three captive souls were made free in the blood of the Lamb, and many more awakened to the knowledge of their guilty state. At candlelight we had meeting again in the same place, which continued nearly all night, while the work of the Lord went on most glorious. Some of the wicked and impenitent now began to shew themselves as vile persecutors. It was the intention of some of them (as I afterwards understood) to get me out of the meeting house to beat me to death. To this end a man came near the pulpit where I was, (having a stick under his coat) and [80] whispered to me that there was a man out of doors, who had fell down under conviction and desired that I should come out and pray for him. As this man was a stranger to me, by his smiles and his message I took him for a friend, and followed him on to the door, where a man, who knew their intention, pulled me back, the meaning of which I did not at first understand, however I started back toward the pulpit where the people were mostly engaged. The enemy, when he found I did not follow him out, came back and struck violently at me with his stick, before I knew it, but a man who saw it defended the blow and kept it off me. The man followed me up and caught a vigorous hold and jirked me back across a bench and was for beating away upon me with his stick, when two or three caught him and took him out of doors. There was then some exertion made by some of them to get in at a window, but they were repulsed.
I tarried two days more in the neighbourhood and we had meetings from place to place almost day and night during the time, while several more were brought by heavenly grace to rejoice in him who giveth sight to the blind and salvation to the poor. Times about here put me in mind of the gracious seasons and heavenly conduct among the disciples in ancient days, "and they continuing daily with one accord in the temple and breaking bread from house to house, did eat their meat with gladness and singleness of heart, praising God, and having favour with all the people. And the Lord added to the church daily such as should be saved." Acts. 2, 46, 47.
I went on again on Wednesday, and preached at brother Holloway's to a number of people, some of whom had seen and felt some of the spirit of the late revival. The word seemed to fall with weight and had a good effect in the hearts of some. On Thursday morning I started on to go several miles to attend an appointment at 12 o'clock, accompanied by three women, two of brother H's. daughters and one of their cousins. In our way we had to cross a stream of water, over which there was a new bridge erected, which was unfinished, having no banisters to the sides, and the planks laid loose [81] upon the sleepers. I went foremost on the bridge apprehending no danger to myself nor the others. When I was nearly across the bridge, brother H's. youngest daughter (about 16 years old), was before the others about half way across, whose horse had become frightened with the noise and shaking of the bridge. The girl also being much frightened drew hard upon the bridle, the horse ran back length-way of the plank and soon tumbled himself and his screaming rider into the middle of the stream, she falling under the horse, which by measurement, was about 15 feet deep and between 50 and 60 yards wide. This was a scene of distress and trial to me, but without reflection, or consideration of my own danger, I jumped from my horse, ran, without pulling off hat, coat or boots, and leaped into the stream to save the drowning damsel. I knew I could swim safely and without danger, but never knew before, the difficulty of swimming with the weight of a drowning person. Before I reached her, the current (which was somewhat bold) had carried her some distance down. She was sinking the third time when I caught her. She made a vigorous gripe to catch me round the neck and with much exertion I broke her hold. I first endeavored to keep her head out of the water, as she was almost exhausted, but in doing this I soon found myself most drowning. I then took her by the arm with one hand and with slow, fatiguing progress, conveyed her to the loved and much desired shore, while both our mouths frequently dipped water. The bank, where I first landed her was steep and the waters swimming, but by the assistance of the other two, who had been on the shore screaming almost to distraction, with much difficulty we brought her up on safe ground, but to all appearance dead! A large quantity of water poured out at her mouth, and we soon discovered symptoms of life, but found she was badly bruised and hurt inwardly in the breast, as she emitted much blood from her mouth. In the course of half an hour she recovered life and strength to speak. In broken accents she began to express her thanks to me that I had brought her to the living again and if it had not been for me by this time [82] she would have been in hell. I told her I only had done my duty and thanks for the preservation of her life, did not belong to me, but to God who spared her; that this was a warning for her to repent and prepare to meet him in peace. For the space of two hours she was unable to walk or ride. We then helped her on the horse and by the assistance of her sister holding her on, they returned homeward, but through her weakness (as I was told) they had to tarry the evening with a neighbour on the way, and I went on to my appointment in my wet clothes, where the people were waiting for me. They thought it strange to see me so very wet on such a clear day, and though I told them the circumstances, it was soon reported that I was drunk and had fallen into the mill-pond, &c. Some of the congregation was operated upon by the zealous and holy spirit with which I was enabled to speak, but others were indifferent and made derision. At candle light I preached at brother B's. again, where numbers were gathered to hear the word of God, to see and hear the exercise of the people. Here brother B's. son M. was relieved from his guilt and condemnation; was justified by faith and obtained peace with God, through the Lord Jesus Christ. One of his daughters also, who was ten or twelve years old, after a severe and bitter crying for mercy, was brought from the power of Satan unto God and as enabled to raise her little voice in praise to her great deliverer. Many others were brought to weep and cry for mercy while shouts and songs of salvation resounded afar off.
I tarried a few days in the neighborhood, where the people collected to hear the word preached from house to house. In this time the work of the Lord increased and the truth mightily prevailed. Some very singular convictions were experienced by some of the people, while at their common business of life. Even some who had reviled and persecuted the work, by sudden and powerful manifestations of their lost condition, were brought to implore forgiveness and to share in what they once thought to be enthusiasm. [83]
I then went on, and preached in several places, to Holy Neck, generally in old English CHapels (so called) whose preachers long since have deserted them; they are much neglected and out of repair, and the people about them I find are cold, dull, formal and unfeeling in the spirit of Christ; hence I find these places of all others the hardest to preach in and the least visible effect upon the hearers. Here I am taken for a wild enthusiast, a hot headed, exentric boy, by no means fit to be a person.
From Holy Neck I went and held a few meetings in and about Cypress Chapel, where some of the professors were revived and we had some comfortable times. In Cypress Chapel one night we were disturbed by some of the young gentlemen who, after filling the themselves with strong drink brought their bottle full to meeting with them, while sitting in the pew, and I preaching to them, they would very formally, boldly and frequently take their drams, and from the strength of them began to contradict what I was saying, to curse and swear at me. With much disturbance they were put out of the house and the worship confused. Such brave conduct as this in some of our young countrymen, is very reprehensible, and it is to be hoped all those who may pretend to the last respectability when they attend, will behave themselves, at least, in time of worship, with decency and decorum.
From thence I went on and preached in several places, where I met with little success, but much persecution, and a little opposition from an old woman who brought an accusation against me because I refused preaching in her house! At Providence meeting house we had a refreshing season from the presence of God, as two souls were brought to the enjoyment of divine favour and joined the fellowship of the brethren.
From this place I went up the country visiting places where I had been. Till I came to Will's Chapel in Isle of Wight county, my labours appeared to be attended with but little success and I felt discouraged, disconsolate and much plagued with temptations. Why cannot I (I began to complain to myself) see sinners convicted [84] and the lukewarm professors animated with heavenly zeal, every time I speak to the people. Why not the marvellous power of God and the demonstration of his spirit, follow me from place to place? Why not his gracious work break forth and revive in every congregation I address. As this was my desire and not the case, I feared the cause was in me. My mind was depressed and I began to think I spake without the spirit. This led me, of course, to fear that I was deceiving myself, losing my time, wearing out my constitution and denying many of the pleasures and prospects of the world, for nought. Therefore, why not, at least, leave this cold and unfeeling part of the world, if not forsake the work altogether, go to those places and continue where the work of the Lord is most glorious, where I can hear christians praise; and see sinners converted to God, and where my own soul would feel constantly happy and drink deeper in the spirit and love of God every day. Here was a struggle in my mind; and I left it to be determined by the manifestations made to me in prayer. By secret and fervent devotion did I want it discovered to me, why I was not equally successful in the ministry, every where I taught; why not equally happy and transported with the joys of heaven, running through my enraptured soul. Why not always rejoicing in God, always feasting in his love, forever acclaiming his praise?
For an answer, and to my consolation, the diversity of trial, situation and feelings of the Prophets, of Christ and of the Apostles, were presented to me. Sometimes a Prophet could have those glorious manifestations, by which he would be enabled to reveal, in charming and delightful strains, the realities of heaven, the welcome promises and captivating descriptions of the Messiah. At other times they would be mourning, pining and complaining in a dungeon, almost overburdened with sorrow; depressed with discouragements, express their disconsolate and gloomy feelings. Sometimes the people would believe and rejoice in the words of their mission; but at other times would disbelieve, revile, persecute and punish them. The Saviour himself, who had all power in heaven and in earth, who cast out [85] devils, healed the sick, cleansed the lepers, made the dumb to speak, the lame to walk, and who done many wonderful works, was seen to weep. Being sorely tempted, he was sorrowful in his soul; and by the gloomy appearance of his work, he was known to be in private mountains and lonesome places, praying to be delivered from his mournful hour. Though he spake with authority and not as the scribes, and many glorified God because of the gracious words which proceeded out of his mouth, yet, it is said, he did not many mighty works there (at a certain place) because of their unbelief. Though some believed in his name and rejoiced in his being the son of God, and blessed him that cometh in the name of the Lord, yet he was reviled, threatened, persecuted, and by some was said to be the prince of devils; a pestilent fellow, not fit to live on the earth. The Apostles were men of God, inspired by his Holy Spirit; sent forth to preach his everlasting Gospel. For the truth of their heavenly calling, they were enabled to perform wonderful works. Many people, by the power with which they were assisted to speak, were convinced of their superstitions, were brought to see all the errors of their ways and to believe in the Saviour, whom they preached. Their success was so great, that it was the fear of some, if they were let alone, all men would believe on them. Their joy at the glorious appearance, at times, was unspeakable and full of glory. Yet those same Apostles were tempted, reviled, whipped, buffetted, and from the oppositions of their outward enemies and the messenger of Satan within, were heard to express their fears of being overcome and cast away. And though at some places many were added to the church every day, by their preaching, yet at other places, of one of them it was asked, what shall this babbler say?
Why then shall I hope to be more successful than the Holy Prophets, who spake as they were moved upon by the Holy Ghost? Shall I think to be always rejoicing when they were frequently repining and sorrowing? Shall I expect to see sinners converted every time I raise my voice to speak, when they often spake and were not heard; when they lifted their voice like a [86] trumpet and the house of Jacob did not see their sins? Can I hope for constant success when my powerful Saviour had to weep over Jerusalem, because they would not believe, because they did not know the day of their visitation? Shall I be discouraged, cast down and wish myself away, to be forever where the mighty operations of the Spirit of God, are visible upon the people, where the praise of happy converts and the songs of the redeemed are constantly resounding, when the Apostles, who were full of the Holy Ghost, rejoiced in tribulation and sang praises in the dungeon? Why need I look for constant summer in this changing clime? Ought I to wish for everlasting or continual spring, where all things wither?
I see the changes and variety of seasons are beneficially adapted to the constitution of nature. The spring is necessary to revive, animate and produce vegetation. To vivify and bring to stronger life the torpid insects and dormant animals. To tune the tongues of the feathered tribes to charm the world with their variated notes and delightful songs, while the poet stands captivated with their far-trilling anthem. To cheer creation with the smiles of more lovely nature and as a preparatory, to introduce those happy scenes which shall follow. Though the enraptured spectator might ardently desire this season, with her congregated beauties to expand her charms forever to the roving eye, yet that would not be productive of the greatest good. The cooling zephyrs which fan her opening blushes or more chilling breezes, which, sometimes blast with disappointment her shooting buds, are soon to be turned into potent heat, while advancing Ph&oebus comes to bring summer's strengthening season. Now the herbage that crowns the humble hills and desert woods obtains its perfect growth. All the variegated flowers that decorate the distant and extensive plains arrive at their inimitable perfection. All the earth displays a many and invigorated meridian. All is strength, all is blooming, all is delightful and entertaining, and represents an expansion of captivating glory not to be described. Shall I say, O! that thy charms might never [87] fade, thy flowers never wither, thy beauty never be deformed, they strength never decay and they glory never die. O may thy transporting scene fill my eye forever, that I may be enamoured with thy form without ceasing. But as autumn is necessary to the ripening of the fruits and many other beneficial influences, my wish is vain. Now the green canopy on the mountains distant summit, turn yellow, and as autumn increases, grows sick and dies. The flowers fade and beauty wrinkles into failing age. Many of the late songsters are hushed, the busy insect tribes seek their silent homes and are seen no more. The chilling winds strip the shaking forests of their leaves. Creation fades, looks cheerless and sad. In this season though ten thousand beauties die, and endless variety of plentiful fruits pour into the lap of the industrious and careful. As there is more joy in the time of gathering than the time of sowing, so there is more abundant advantage in this season of virtue than of beauty.
But the time of gathering cannot last forever. Winter makes his approaches and scatters desolation over the face of nature. Now the groaning woods bend with a ponderous weight of snows. The tuneful songsters have ceased every note. Creation is cheerless and dumb unless the sigh of distress, or the rage of hunger breaks the long sad silence. The well cultivated farm puts on the aspect of the dreary wilderness. No cheerful gaiety is seen on the landscape, nor vocal strains are heard in the grove to amuse the rural swain. The roaring cascade and the distant murmuring stream delight the traveller no more. But has this season no benefit, no enjoyment, nor comfort in it, and is it of no service to the world? Yes, he that sowed and reaped, he that planted and gathered now enjoys the fruit of his laborious toil. While the pinching winds sally bleakly forth and howl by his cottage door, he humbly sits by his peaceful fire, and while he enjoys he is comforted, while he hears the roaring terrors without, he feels contented and undisturbed within. The inanimate substances during this season receive that fructifying nutriment by which they live, gown and are made [88] strong. The noxious vapours and the impurities of the overheated atmosphere, are exhilarated and made healthy. The human system receives fresh vigour, agility and firmness. The animate, vegetable and intellectual kingdoms, are replenished and enjoy stronger life than all the year before.
Hence I see, that the variety of change is not only pleasing to the sight but beneficial to the nature of things. And why should I complain when that is ever and continually rolling round which always introduces something new, something useful and something which is productive of the greatest good. And are not similar changes and operations necessary in the kingdom of God, in the hearts of the saints of the most high? If my soul was ever budding and bursting forth with the charms and melodious songs of spring, I should not only become proud, but would never come to perfect growth. I should look upon my situation, as an endless state of satiety and disgust, unmindful of its beauties and thoughtless of its melody. A course of experience should variate my feelings and bring me on to greater perfection, and a richer state of glory. But if the face of my soul should always bask in the propitious smiles of my Redeemer, and set in the calm sunshine of my Saviour's countenance, without a trial, without a temptation in this life, virtue would not be known and happiness would cease. My great leader (as is meet) brings me forth into that season whence my songs and charms die away into virtuous and useful actions. When alternate blasts of opposition and trial chill my rapturous sensations, but when I gather in and manifest the boundless store of my summer or christian fruits. Now it is necessary that a long and severe winter should succeed, when I may enjoy the sweets of the celestial fruits I possess, and when it may be known to myself and others, if I was industrious and true in the preceding seasons. Now the storms of persecution blow with devouring wrath, difficulties, trials, dangers and temptations succeed each other, and surround with sable aspect my disconsolate state. I hear no songs of glory, I see no beauteous prospect and behold no flourishing [89] plants; the scene is sad. But my conscientiousness of trust and confidence in God, who is my everlasting portion, gives happiness not to be described. My temptations make me pray, my trials establish me, my persecutions, as I know they are false, make me rejoice. I feel the divine and secret influences of the Holy Spirit communicating strength, vigor and consolation to my soul, and while outward storms invade, my soul being humbled, enjoys an inexpressible share of tranquility and peace.
Now let thy soul cease her murmurs. Do not be induced to wish constantly to see that success and glorious work which sometimes attend thee, lest pride should exalt thee and destroy thy usefulness. Know that thy labour and duty are appointed thee; be thou faithful unto death and I will give thee a crown of life. Remember, in all the changes, situations and appearances, let not the beauties, glories and transports of the one exalt thee above measure, nor all the difficulties, trials and gloomy representations of the other discourage or make thee shrink from thy duty.
With strength and consolation of soul, I held several meetings in, and about Wills' Chapel, to large congregations, where some of the brethren were revived and some affected under a sense of their sins and guilt. The cause seemed to revive and we had some lovely and transporting seasons. Some miles from this place I preached to a congregation of coloured people, who long since, had been emancipated by the Friends and settled in a neighbourhood together. They are mostly of the Baptist denomination, and appear to be piously and sincerely engaged in religion. I was comforted to see this instance of humanity in the liberty of their bodies and much more so, as they could rejoice, and were made free in the blood of the Lamb. In several other places I preached to the people who were generally careless and indifferent; only that some made derision and persecuted me.
In the latter end of September I came again to Lebanon on Sunday, where hundreds were assembled. Soon after commencing he worship, the noise and [90] exercise of the people prevented preaching. This meeting exceeded any we had before in the number affected. Several old formalists, who had said the word was delusion and enthusiasm, felt the same operations and were constrained to worship God in the same manner. A number of men and women of quality were brought to their knees, and some fell on the floor, crying out for the Lord to save them. Some of the rich and proud were made poor in spirit, some of whom on the same day, became rich in faith and heirs of the kingdom of God. Many of the youth, male and female, as young as twelve years old, had became converted, rejoicing in Jesus, and on this day, it was very affecting to see them run to their parents, get around their necks, express the joy they felt in their Saviour, exhort them to repentance, beseech them to believe in Jesus and fell down on their knees and prayed for them. One old man who had not been to preaching for ten years, till now, a young daughter of his, who was happy in the Love of God, came round his neck, pleading with him to look to Jesus, fell down at his feet and put up fervent prayers for his salvation. He was so affected at the scene, and the force of her words, that he fell to the floor calling loudly upon God to save him. Not long till he obtained his daughter's desire, the Love of God shed abroad in his heart. They rejoiced with much glory, in each others arms. He then exclaimed against himself, that he had lived so long in the world as to raise a family without setting an example of religion before them, that he should be so careless and unconcerned about his own salvation, that his daughter should rise up to condemn him, exhort him and to set him a pattern of faith, and start before him to heaven!!
The meeting continued till near night, while many such affecting occurrences took place, and hundreds were exercised by deep and sincere penitence, or by that joy that is unspeakable and full of glory.
When meeting concluded, I started out to my horse, which was hitched some distance in the woods by himself. When I came near I saw two men standing by him waiting, who had meditated mischief against me [91] from the time of the former meeting. When I came up I saw one of them had a large pocket knife open in his hand, and the other a large stick. They asked me very abruptly, if I did not think I deserved a d---d beating. I asked them what for? They said "because you have bewitched the people, set them crazy, confused and broke up the worship of God, for which we are determined to drive you out of this part of the country." I observed I had done nothing--it was the Lord's doings and marvellous in our eyes, but I was willing to bear the blame, to suffer stripes for the sake of the glorious appearance. Now, said I, you undertake to fight against God and against his servant, and as one stepped up much enraged to strike me with his lifted stick, I said, Lord have mercy upon your poor, wicked soul; at which his stick fell out of his hand, his face turned pale and his arm was weak. The other shut up his knife, and trembling, he seemed much frightened and said, J. We can't hurt him. By this time others, who saw us, came up, and finding out the interruption, these men were sharply reproved, censured and, by some, threatened to be prosecuted. I left them, while the two men were much confused, embarrassed and ashamed. I looked upon this circumstance as being a deliverance peculiarly of God. I now saw that the same God, who withered the hand of Jereboam when it was stretched out to smite a servant of God, can weaken the strength of any enemy's arm in the present day, when it is lifted up to injure one of his servants. I felt thankful to God and happy in the protection of his power. He was my shield and my strength, and I was glad he had conquered these my enemies for me, without the least hurt or injury to them.
I will observe, the young woman whom I brought out of the drowning water, being shortly afterwards, made sensible of her sinful and dangerous state, was, with others of the same family, at meeting this day, and thank God, the father who had the pleasure of hear his daughter was delivered (at that time) from dying a temporal death, now had the unspeakable comfort to see her delivered from carnal, sinful death and brought into [92] that real and everlasting life that is in the son of God. She rejoiced and praised God for all her deliverance, and his manifestations of life and glory made known to her. Though she had been a vain, fashionable girl, careless and unthoughtful of her final state, she was not ashamed now to own her Saviour, and to praise his name in the presence of hundreds of spectators, who were anxious to see the girl who was so nigh downing, as the circumstance, by this time, had made a great rumor. The occurrence of her being delivered out of the water had also put a damp upon the carnal pleasure and sinful practices of her two brothers, who were young men grown. One of them also, this day was, as the prodigal, kindly received by his heavenly father, and knew that his Saviour had power on earth to forgive sins. But the other one was yet left to mourn and lament his sinful condemned state.
At candlelight we had meeting in the neighbourhood, where praises and acclamations sounded aloud, while several lay on the floor, weeping and praying to be delivered from the gates of hell. The worship of God was carried on, by exhorting, praying, singing, shouting and seeking the Saviour of sinners, with tears and groans, all night. Nor could we scarcely leave the place in the morning, as we felt like Peter did, at the transfiguration and glorious appearance of Christ, when he said, "Lord it is good to be here." Our souls were filled with such transporting joys, we were almost willing to forget, for a while, the care and provision of those mortal bodies. This was a morning of supreme delight to my soul. The sky was calm, serene and clear. The sun arose and shone brilliantly upon the face of nature, without the obstruction of a passing cloud, or rising fog. The contemplation, on the similarity of the scene to the situation of many souls present, added comfort to the joyful morning. The obscure shades and the gross darkness of their sinful state are dissipated and turned into day. The thunders of a guilty conscience are hushed into silence. The raging surges, and tossing billows of tempestuous passions, are lulled to sleep, and an universal calm prevails on the expansive deep of the [93] peaceful mind. The night of fear, of death of corruption and the grave, is turned into morning. The sun of righteousness shines and his cheering beams penetrate and pervade all the soul. No rising fears, nor clouds of temptation to overcast with gloom the enraptured and captivated convert. All was peace unutterable and joy full of glory.
I left some of the newborn happy souls at the place, and went on about seven miles and held meeting with an attentive, solemn congregation, some of whom felt the word and were sensibly affected with the weight of its power. Here, a woman, who had a small child on her lap, was suddenly carried into such an extreme ecstacy of joy, she forgot her child, immediately sprang upon her feet and bursted forth in praise to God, while the helpless suckling was tossed some distance from her and caught by another woman. This brought to my mind these words, "can a woman forget her sucking child that she should not have compassion on the son of her womb? yea she may forget, yet will I not forget thee." The fond attention and sweet caresses of an affectionate mother to her darling babe, are easier felt by her than described by me. But though she may think its lovely image is indelibly printed in her remembrance and its celestial features can never be forgotten, neither could she be so cruel as to think, she would not have compassion on him, yet by a long and distant separation, she may forget, and the last of his memory may be so completely erased from her mind, that, as a stranger, he may implore her favour and assistance, or he might so exasperate her, that she would not have compassion on him, the son of her womb! God's care and compassion, his affection and attention to his children, as far exceeds, that of the tenderest mother to her child, as the heavens are higher than the earth. He nourishes and brings them up. He provides for them in times of need, he takes care of them in times of danger. He is always with them and never leaves nor forsakes them. No distance, nor time of their separation from him, can defect his memory, or cause him to be unmindful of their wants, or forget them in their distress. Though [94] they may forget him and sometimes provoke against him, yet he will have compassion on them forever.
From this place I went on to brother H's. and preached to a large congregation. His daughter, before alluded to, who was lately brought from the power of Satan unto God, was exceedingly happy in the love of her Saviour, uttered forth his praise and exhorted sinners to repentance. Her words, her countenance and demeanour were such manifest and convincing evidences of a divine change being wrought in her, that many wept and some were pungently convicted of their sins, and desired, with her, to share the blessings of religion. Her brother also, who was lately converted and had his sins blotted out, rejoiced, sang, prayed and exhorted to the comfort and profit of many present. The other brother was yet mourning and seeking Jesus with great distress and by fervent prayer. This was a joyful and happy day to many of our souls, while we worshipped God; but to some other who came together careless, unconcerned, and through motives of curiosity and derision, went away weeping with sorrowful and condemned hearts. At candlelight we held meeting in the same place, where the people were much affected with the Divine Presence. Three persons fell down on their knees and desired prayer to be made for their salvation.
In this neighbourhood the people have hitherto, been careless and unconcerned about religion and very inattentive to hear the word of God, till lately, the Lord seems to be impressing the weight of the one thing needful upon their minds, awaking them to the knowledge of sin and their lost condition, and now, some are asking what they shall do to be saved. The dealings of God with the children of men and the means he uses to bring them to the knowledge of the truth and to promote his cause, are sometimes simple, yet very mysterious to us. The circumstance of brother H's. daughter being delivered from drowning in the water, was the simple, but powerful means of convincing her of the lost and dangerous state of her soul, and of bringing her to the salvation of God, also to the rousing her [95] brothers to the same consideration, and one of them, to the same enjoyment with herself, and to the powerful conviction of some others in the neighbourhood. This was an ample compensation and full reward to me, for the great danger and hazard I exposed myself to in her deliverance.
From hence I went on, preaching twice a day, till I came again to brother Barrett's. Here the work of the Lord was still prospering gloriously, and had increased rapidly since I had left there. We held meeting once, twice and three times a day, in the neighbourhood, where large congregations attended and were generally powerfully operated upon by the spirit of God. The exercise of jumping, hollowing, shouting and something like dancing, was common among those who professed to be happy in God. This exercise was thought, by some, to be very enthusiastic and deceptious.
My own opinions, upon this subject, have been made up by known observation on the conduct of those exercised. It is well known that it was a practice among the people of God in ancient times, on certain occasions to shout and praise God aloud. Hence we ought not to speak against the exercise, and call it enthusiasm and deception, when it is acted according to the scriptures. Certain manifestations of celestial joys made known to the mind, and a rapturous vision of the soul's acceptance with God, are occasions which sometimes occur with many of his children, and in such seasons, that God may be glorified in the presence of the people; it is not deception, neither is it enthusiasm, to shout and praise him in loud acclamations. But those who are thus operated upon and are constrained to shout and leap, &c. should always remember to be the more careful in their deportment and watchful over their conduct of life, as they will be the more noticed and the more heavenly mindedness expected to be in them. I have noticed that the people thus exercised, are generally (with a few exceptions) the most passionate and volatile, and when the passion and ecstacy of divine joy subside, they become liable to vanity, vexation and disquietude; and it has sometimes occurred among some of [96] the unguarded and inexperienced, that they have been overtaken and have been subject to the latter, as well as to the former exercise. Some have been known to shout and make a great noise because others did so, and to make themselves more conspicuous. Some have shouted, because they were frightened and operated upon inadvertently. But this is not the case with all the subjects of this work. There are many deeply experienced in religion, and some newly converted to God, who are truly and sincerely operated upon in this manner by the Holy Spirit, who live happy, humble and upright lives. It is not strange, neither does it appear deceptious to me, to hear those, who live near to God by strong faith and constant prayer, who give thanks in all things, who look not on this earth but on heaven as their home, on certain occasions, as the conversion of sinner, the revival and prosperity of Zion, shout and praise God with a loud voice. In this case, as all are not operated upon in the same measure by the spirit, those who have not those manifestations, influencing them to praise God by shouting, should not consider it enthusiasm and deception, &c. in those who do, unless they know it to be so; neither should those, who thus glorify God, suffer themselves to be carried into the other extreme, to suppose all those who are not thus exercised have no religion; for a person may be devoutly and acceptably engaged with God and be in profound silence, while another may be filled with ecstacies and glorious prospects and shout forth his praise, and be equally acceptable.
Brother B's. son M. informed me of the exercise and impressions of his mind to preach the Gospel. He has been faithful, and already somewhat successful in exhortation among the neighbours and his acquaintances. He is a young man of a quick, bright turn of mind, and if properly encouraged, may be profitable to the church of God.
I was engaged about here, at this time above a week, in which time we had two day's meeting in brother B's. meeting house. On Saturday it commenced. A large congregation collected. Besides brother B. and [97] myself, W. G. who was known to be a great preacher, attended with us. Brother G. preached to the people with his usual power, which was ever great and almost sure to affect them. The congregation generally felt his word. Many were constrained to raise their acclamations and loud praises to the son of David, the King of Israel. Many others were brought to weep bitterly, seeing their lost condition, to cry and pray aloud for that salvation, which makes the captive free, the dead to live, the blind to see and the mourner to rejoice. Some of these had been known as persecutors, revilers and enemies to the operations of the spirit, which they now began to feel. This was a time not easily to be forgotten, as the presence of God so gloriously overshadowed us, and, as it appeared, all the people felt deeply interested and engaged for their salvation and to glorify God. Exhortation, praying, &c. succeeded and continued till nearly night, when some of us retired to be refreshed with something to eat; but we understood some were yet at the place, mourning, praying and rejoicing, upon which we soon went back again and joined with those who were praising God, to pray for those who so sincerely mourned for redemption in the blood of the Lamb. At candlelight the people repaired again to the place, but the exercise of so many, was so loud and incessant that preaching was prevented. We continued together till near daylight, in which time, several found the pearl of great price, the one thing needful, their salvation in Christ, which added much to the sound of the songs of praise, which were acclaimed to him that saves from sin. Among those who were born of God was brother H's. son who had been, till now, seeking the Saviour sorrowing.
On Sunday morning about sun rise, a number collected at the meeting-house to put up their morning prayers to the Great Author of their existence and the Giver of all their blessings. To pray his presence at the meeting of the day, to continue his grace to the congregation, that all might see his salvation. This was a time of joy and comfort to the children of God, [98] who had met together. Some seemed to forget that they had to eat that bread which perisheth, and delighted rather in doing the will of their heavenly Father, and took that for their meat and their drink, and continued at that place rejoicing till public worship commenced. At ten o'clock an extensive congregation had gathered and preaching began. The people were remarkably attentive and solemn. The Great King, the Lord of Hosts attended the place with his gracious presence and aided his blessing to the people. The slain of the Lord were many.
In the afternoon the congregation (for the convenience of hearing) was divided, and I preached to a large number of them in the woods, while others worshipped in the house. While preaching several fell on the ground, condemned before God, confessing their sins, praying for mercy. One of them rose and rejoiced in a Saviour's pardoning love. This, thought I, was like unto one of the days of the son of man, and like when the great multitudes followed Jesus in the wilderness, desiring to be taught the right ways of the Lord.
At candlelight, the Lord's supper was to be administered, and brother G. noticed those who should partake; God's people, to whatsoever society, they might belong or if attached to no denomination, having been born of God, were invited to come forward to the table, to sit and eat together in love and let it be known to all men, that they were Christ's disciples. A large number convened round, some of whom, to obey the spirit of God and the rules of the New Testament, had, for a moment, to break the human yoke, which separates the children of God, and had to violate the rules by which they had been bound, and manifested that spirit by which they were born from on high. About this time it was discovered that some rioters intended to interrupt the worship, and burlesque the scene which was about to be exhibited. One of them came up to me and said, unless you are a base coward you will please to walk out into the yard with me, and I will give you a d---d whipping. I told him I was a great coward [99] in Bull's-work and doggish practices, and as I did not wish my flesh bruised for nothing, I could not go out with him. One of his clan collared one of the other preachers, but, with some exertion, his hold was losed, and he put out of doors. When the christians were sat down to partake of the Lord's supper, two or three of this wicked mob, were seen sitting with them, much intoxicated, having a bottle of liquor and bread of their own, determined, as they said, to take the Lord's supper! One of the preachers was for having them taken away, but the other observed to them, they were welcome to sit there peaceably; but if they ate and drank, they would, according to the word of God, eat and drink damnation to themselves, which seemed to alarm them; two of them rose up, the other one continued on his seat and took his bread and dram! Afterwards, as I was told, when he came to himself, this crime impressed grief, sorrow, shame, condemnation and guilt upon his soul, and he became a sincere praying man!
While we, of different professions, sat together and partook at the Lord's table, our souls feasted largely on the riches and fat things of the kingdom of God. The love, union and fellowship, which pervaded the brethren and bound our hearts and affections together, displayed a lovely example and made a joyful time. The meeting continued the greater part of the night, while the various exercise of the people caused the time and place to feel solemn and glorious.
On Monday we met again to worship God, and conclude the meeting. This was the last and greatest day of the feast. About the conclusion, we learned that seven souls, some men and some women, since the commencement of the meeting, were brought from darkness to marvellous light, being happily converted to God, and several were then mourning in deepest sorrow, under conviction of their sins.
On Tuesday, near the last of October, I went on, fulfilling my appointments, in much weakness of bodily strength; as I have, for some weeks past, preached and held meeting, to average twice every day, and have frequently spent the most, and sometimes the whole of the [100] night in preaching, exhorting, praying, or singing with the people. I now felt myself again, almost unable to speak so as to be heard. As the soul and body seem to be so closely allied, the one seems to participate of the infirmities of the other, so that my soul was now burdened with temptations, weakness, fears and doubts. I was also grievously persecuted by false tongues, which, for fear the reports might injure my usefulness among the people, gave me much uneasiness and distress of mind. My only comfort was in God, imploring his assistance, that I might still be enabled to live so holy, harmless, pure and undefiled that no falsehood reported of me, might be believed. I also felt the necessity of praying much to God for a disposition to forgive my persecutors, and a heart to bless them that reviled me. Thanks, praise and honour to my Great Redeemer, for his precious gifts and his humiliating grace so bountifully bestowed on me in this time of trouble and need. I felt resigned under the prospect of the dangers and difficulties which seemed to surround me, and happy in believing that God was my strong hold in the day of trouble and my present help in every time of need. I now felt stronger and more willing to suffer persecution for the sake of Jesus, and to bear the cross of Christ, in the midst of a crooked and perverse generation.
In my journeyings and labours, sometime in November, I came into Norfolk and Portsmouth, where I was invited to preach among the Baptists. In the two places I tarried several days, and preached every evening, generally to large congregations, but without much visible effect, only once or twice in Portsmouth, some of the Baptists appeared to be comforted; and two or three were convinced of their sins under the word preached. In Norfolk I saw but little appearance of pure and undefiled religion among any. Pride seems to have overcame and swallowed up humility; fashion has prevailed over plainness, even among those who profess to follow Jesus, and wickedness predominates over righteousness in all the streets. O then wicked Sodom, I fear the judgments of the Almighty will overtake, afflict and scourge thee for thy sins. [101]
From thence I went on, preaching almost every day, till I came again to Lebanon, about the first of December, in which time, in different places, I suffered much persecution, and some difficulties, which are not to be told, but out of them all the Lord delivered me. And my soul was in frequent struggles for more humility, more patience, more grace and for the constant support of his spirit, to confirm and make me so strong that the world, the flesh and the Devil, with their united force, might not be able to overcome, not ensnare me, nor impede the progress of my soul in the heavenly road, nor wash my mind one moment from my God. My temptations and trials (for two or three weeks) with little success I have seen attending my labours, have been truly discouraging to my pride and to my fleshly notions; yet very profitable to my soul, as I have been taught some good lessons, to be AWAKE, PATIENT, WATCHFUL, TO ENDURE AND SUFFER LONG.
In the neighbourhood of Lebanon, I tarried three days and held six meetings, where I saw the young converts shining as light in the world, and three more were added to the number. My soul was much revived and invigorated with new strength and consolation. Better prospects opened to my view, and greater celestial anticipations the more captivated my soul, and confirmed me in the God of Israel. Moreover I could glory in tribulation, knowing that tribulation worketh patience, and patience experience. My trust was in God and I was willing to endure great contradiction of sinners, to bear the cross and despise the shame,, that I might at last set down on the right hand of the Majesty in the heavens. I now felt new love and willingness to give myself to the work the Lord appointed me to do; to travel the way he directs, however thorny, dangerous and disagreeable it may be to my flesh, and to spend my days and be spent in his glorious cause. The happiness, peace, joy and divine comfort, which I felt, are not to be described. If (thought I) the communications of grace to the soul, are so inexpressibly joyful, and the distant glimpses of the Saviour's contenance, by faith, so powerfully glorious, that the body sometimes cannot [102] well contain, how shall the soul bear that far more exceeding and eternal weight of glory, which shall burst forth upon it when admitted in the effulgent city and presence of God? When it beholds the King in all his beauty, and when it really and plainly surveys the delightful prospects of the promised land. This vile body shall be changed and fashioned like unto Christ's own glorious body. This body that was sown in weakness shall be raised in power; the body that was sown a natural body, shall be raised a spiritual body. It was sown in dishonour, it shall be raised in glory; it was sown in corruption, it shall be raised in incorruption; so that this mortal body shall put on immortality. When this renovating and much improving change is wrought upon us, then the soul shall be capacitated to enjoy heaven, and God's eternal glory. The subject of the resurrection opened new prospects to my mind, and gave me more encouragement to endure hardiness as a good soldier; for in a short time I shall reap if I faint not. In a short time I shall be taken from the desert of thorns, battered with hail, storms and beating winds, and transplanted in the fruitful clime of Paradise, in the propitious regions of celestial Eden, beside the waters of life, among the trees of living green, to bask in the beams of eternal sun-shine, where calm and genial skies overspread and pour down unremitting and inexpressible delight! O! the transporting thought!
While in this neighbourhood this time, the men who had interrupted me the other time I was here, being somewhat alarmed for fear of the law, as they had been told I intended to prosecute them; (but this I never threatened, nor intimated) came forward to me, confessed their fault, and humbly asked pardon. I told them I retained no animosity, nor offence against them, and if God had forgiven them it was all right. The one who tried to get me out of doors, to have me beaten, also came and offered me five dollars if I would forgive him, saying that it was one of his drunken frolicks; and that he had became exceedingly sorry for doing so. I told him, I could not forgive him, for I never had changed any thing against him, and [103] that we were as perfectly clear of accounts, as from the beginning, and his money I did not want, nor could I receive it, and if he was desirous I would give him a receipt in full from the Creation. He said my word would answer; and we parted in friendship, with my telling him to try to get a receipt from heaven.
From this place I went on and preached three times on the way to brother H's. At his house I preached with much comfort and more than usual liberty to an attentive and weeping congregation, some of whom desired to be prayed for, and others were enabled to give praise to Jesus. This is truly a happy family at this time. The parents like Zechariah and Elizabeth, seem to walk in the commandments of the Lord blameless; rejoicing in hope of the glory of God. They have six children, four of whom are happily converted to God, three of them lately, as I have above related, all walking in the same narrow way, all trusting in the same God and all enjoying the same peace with God through the Lord Jesus Christ.
I am told that the people of this neighbourhood are lately much reformed and altered for the better. Drunkards have become sober men, and swearers have turned to praying. The careless are moved upon to seek their salvation, the indifferent and inattentive are influenced to hear and attend to the word of God. May the good spirit move them to the knowledge of God and themselves and to the righteousness of his ways, that all may feel his love and with delightful obedience pursue the path of glory.
Brother B's son Z. (the younger of the two converted,) is under strong exercise and impressions to preach the Gospel. He already exhorts and holds meeting among the neighbours. It is his desire to obtain my encouragement and to travel with me. Here I am at a great loss for knowledge what to do in this case. His education is but little; his language bad, and his manners not agreeable. Yet I am afraid to disapprobate, lest I might be a stumbling block in the way of him, who, by faithful obedience, may in much weakness by the power of God, bring many souls to the knowledge of [104] the truth; and who, may be an instrument of God to do much in building up his church. And when I reflect upon the weakness and inability of my own beginning in the work, I have no authority to say a word to intimidate, nor discourage any one, in the weakest of their efforts to do good to the souls of men, if they are only sincere in their hearts and unimpeachable in the demeanor of life. Though his inexperience and his lack of some necessary qualifications were so irrisistible to me, that I thought it best to exhort him to a further trial of his labours in the neighbourhood and to take a little longer time to be sensibly convinced that his call, to the work was heavenly and not of his own impulse, and to count the whole cost of the undertaking, before he ventured to travel in a strange, unfriendly and wicked world. I told him, as his duty was manifested by the divine spirit, to discharge it conscientiously as the Lord enable him, though all men might forsake him. To be sure the Lord was with him and to obey him, though he might find none on earth to assist, encourage or lead him along.
I went on and preached in several place, where the prospect was gloomy and not much success apparently seen, till I came again to brother B's. In his neighborhood and in his house we had some more joyful seasons, as the work of the Lord was yet prospering in the place. Several of those, whom I had left mourning and seeking redemption, had been relieved from their burden of guilt; their sorrow was turned into joy and they joined to the happy number who rejoiced in the love of God.
The cheerless winter now pervades the land, and northern winds bind the earth in frost. But while I hear no songs sounding in the forests, and my body sometimes almost chilled with cold, I hear the delightful songs of the redeemed and see that their summer has come. My heart warms and melts into thankfulness and praise. The soul expands, grows, flourishes and bursts into praise, while earthly things fade and perish.
Brother B's. son M. now prepared to travel and spread the glorious cause by preaching the everlasting [105] gospel. He is about twenty years old. He has willingly and freely given up all the pleasures and prospects of the world, to go forth and offer a Saviour to sinful man. He desires to travel with me. I receive him as a fellow labourer in the vineyard with much joy, and gladness. May his example influence many to do good.
About the 15th of December we went on and I continued to fulfil my appointments; brother M. exhorting and exercising himself frequently profitably to the people, ofttimes suffering much hunger, cold, persecutions and temptations. I now soon found I has an additional charge upon me; for as brother M. who was with me, professed himself my son in the gospel, I felt particularly solicitous for his welfare and success in the ministry. The many temptations, trials, hardships, difficulties and oppositions to which he soon found himself exposed were likely to overcome him, and that he might stand faithful and become useful to the cause, much patience, advice and admonition, I found was necessary to exercise toward him.
On the 24th, I travelled thirty five miles, an extreme cold day, and being thinly clothed about sun set felt much like, it is said, a freezing man feels. My flesh, chilled and unfeeling. I undertook to walk but found myself almost unable to get along. I became unaccountably sleepy, and was nearly willing to lie down and submit to my fate, about which time I came (providentially I thought) to a fire, which some wagoners had left by the roadside. I sat down by it almost overpowered with cold, and felt myself recover by slow degrees, and in less than an hour was able to walk and ride, I thought, without danger. It was now dark. I judged I had about three miles further to travel, to get to my intended place, which was the first house on the road. I started and arrived at the place, (old brother G's in Nancemond County) again nearly frozen. The kindness and careful attention of the family soon brought me to a comfortable feeling. This was then a night of thankfulness and joy to me, as I saw myself by the goodness of God, delivered out of the slow and sullen embraces of icy death. This brought new contemplation to my [106] mind, which filled my heart with sweet consolations. Some people, thought I, suffer extreme exposures of cold, even unto death. But most frequently, those who are in quest of riches, honor, fame or earthly enterprise, endeavouring to accommodate self-interest. In those case, to be delivered is no glory, for the danger might have been avoided. To die is no reward, for they are disappointed in their pursuit. Not so with him who is exposed and suffers in the cause of Christ, whose sole object is to be useful to mankind, not regarding riches, honour, fame, earthly enterprise nor self-interest but willingly sacrifices all to be obedient to his heavenly Father. If, in this case, he is exposed to sufferings and is delivered from dangers and death, he ascribes the favour to God, and receives triumphant joy in having endured it. If he dies, he dies an obedient sufferer to the will of God, and and in this case meets a great and sure reward, being relieved from the distresses of the body, he shall enjoy everlasting safety and peaceful rest in the paradise of God. I gloried in this, my suffering, knowing that my object was pure, uninterested, solely endeavouring to obey and follow my master and to be useful to my fellow creatures.
I brought death home to my thoughts and examined myself, if I was prepared for that kingdom which I was seeking, if I had died with the cold on the road side I felt I could have went willingly, and without fear, and was, I thought, prepared and ready to leave this suffering state of trial, and stand in the presence of God. My mind indeed became joyfully transported at the idea of departure, as I felt no condemnation, but full resignation in the will of God to live or die, to suffer, or not to suffer.
On the 25th, Christmas day, I arrived at brother G's. and held meeting at his house. The people who attended, were attentive and a few appeared to be affected with the weight of truth. The people of these parts seem, mostly to celebrate this day, by gathering in companies, to hold cock fighting, shooting matches, and other species of gambling, frolicking and intoxication, which often concludes in fighting, bruised faces and [107] sore eyes! Very unworthy commemorations of the birth of the Lord of life and glory. Practices which reflect the greatest dishonour on the personage of the Saviour and the greatest scandal and disgrace upon those found in them. Could not Parents teach their children (by taking them in time) to respect this day above all others, to set it apart as a day of thanksgiving and praise? And by impressing on their minds, that this was the birth day of the son of God in Bethlehem of Judea, could they not be taught to regard it as the day of the glorious emancipation from the dominion of Satan, and as the day of general Jubilee and liberty to the souls of men? And, as such devote its hour to solemn devotion and the public worship of God? But while parents themselves set the example of wickedness the children follow unreproved and uncondemned. But let those parents know, that the wickedness committed by their children, which could have been avoided by timely precept and good example, they will have to give an account for in the great day of retribution. They will then be found unfaithful stewards, and as unprofitable servants will be punished according to the awful nature of their crimes. O that parents would reflect upon the great and important duty they owe to their children, that they would bring them up to fear the Lord and respect his ways. That they would timely guard their minds against dissipation and sinful practices. To teach them to attend the service of God on the Sabath and not to mingle with the idle, wicked disturbers of the streets, or with the lewd children of the country, who, too frequently, wander from place to place seeking mischief. May they, on these days of rest, teach their little children the useful lessons of filial affection, obedience and right conduct. Impress their minds with the love of God, by bringing to their view the power of God in their creation, his great goodness in their preservation, and his adorable compassion and condescension in their redemption. Impress them with solemnity and awe by teaching them their great obligations to the author of all good, in whom they live, and move, and have their being. Let [108] their minds be improved by reading useful, or religious books and by meditating on the important end for which they were born. By this method, children would become useful and parents happy.
On the 26th, I went on, faithfully attending to my appointments, suffering much in the flesh, from the cold and inclemency of the weather. Sometimes my mind was depressed under the gloomy prospect and long concontinuance of my sufferings and difficulties.
January 1st, 1810. I came to Lebanon, where I preached to an extensive congregation and had my faith strengthened and my consolations renewed. The work of the Lord is still progressing and souls converted. Those who have been brought home to God, by the blood of his son, are yet happy and continues to rejoice in his name. The people are generally serious and attentive to hear the word of God and some are mourning and seeking Him of whom Moses, in the law, and the Prophets, did write.
I tarried a few days in the neighbourhood and held several meetings, apparently with great success in the Lord. I now found, that where the people were zealous in religion and desirous to be saved, they would willingly expose themselves to rains, snows and the coldest weather, to attend upon the means appointed for their salvation. When meeting was appointed, no inclemency of weather prevented them from crowding together, as though all was fair and genial. Not so even among many professors where they are dull and lifeless, while the faithful preacher must face the cold winds, under falling snows and wetting rains, for the distance, sometimes, of many miles, they can scarcely leave their doors, or go half a mile to hear the word of God dispensed. A bad example to poor sinners who are perishing for lack of knowledge. The preacher comes; he finds the house empty! He feels disappointed and only has the liberty to mourn in silence at the sad and careless state of the people, and wonder why the fine gold has become dim! But peradventure, the preacher himself, being thus repeatedly disappointed becomes discouraged. He feels himself too delicate to [109] venture out, too tender to be exposed. Alas! he fails to fulfil his word and the public worship of God is often neglected by his indifference. But, my brother preacher, try to be a faithful servant (and not a careless gentleman) attend to thy duty and discharge thy trust. Let nothing but sickness, or imminent dangers, hinder thee from fulfilling thy appointments, and if thy industry and punctuality do not influence others to attend with thee, thou canst console thyself in having done thy duty and all that thou couldst. Thy sufferings shall not be forgotten by him who commands thee; but for thy faithfulness thou shalt be amply rewarded with a peaceful mind and a crown of life.
While I was in this neighborhood, some of the brethren who had pity on me, as I had worn out my clothes in laboring for their souls and others, joined and bought me some clothing, among which was a great coat, which I found serviceable, as I had been destitute of one during this cold season.
In my travels, coming again to brother H's. I found his son Z. who had professed to be my son in the gospel had made himself ready to leave all to follow Christ, to travel and preach the Gospel. As it was not convenient for him to travel with me, I directed him where I thought he might be the most acceptable, commended him to God and the word of his grace, exhorting him to be faithful to put his trust in God, that he might not be overcome by the temptations, fears, dangers, oppositions and persecutions which might surround him in his undertaking.
Though I had frequent desires of my own to leave this part of the country, yet, by the entreaties of many of my friends and an evidence of my not having finished my labor among this people, I continued on my route till April. During this time at many places where I attended, my trials were grievous and the prospect gloomy. The last time I visited the barren soil, I felt sorry and my heart much affected to see the people, among whom I had spent so much labor for so many months, so careless and indifferent, and my labors so little blessed among them. But what mortal voice can [110] make those hear who deafen their ears! Or whose words can affect those who harden their hearts! Who can be profitable to those who will not come to the light. How can I expect success among those who will not believe on the son of God, that they might have life? I was encouraged, as I felt sensible I had discharged my duty amongst them and was clear of their destruction.
In many other place the work of God continued to appear as glorious as the time above related.
The month of April came on, when cheerful and smiling spring, again appeared. By this time, I not only felt full liberty to leave my present route, but a strong impression on my mind to sound the gospel in the Western country. By looking over my memorandum, I found, that, since the last nine months, when I started to come to this route, I had held about three hundred meetings and seventy-three souls had professed a happy change from darkness to light, and from death unto life, through the instrumentality of my labor, and were enabled to rejoice in God, from a feeling sense of his love shed abroad in their hearts, two of whom were now travelling and preaching the gospel. Brother M. B., who had patiently endured with me, many of the distresses, difficulties and oppositions of the preceding winter, had by this time, made great improvement in speaking. He was now able to deliver an agreeable and useful sermon, and with that zeal and energy, which generally had a good effect upon his hearers. He was now well able to travel by himself and preach the gospel without the help of man. Notwithstanding, he concluded he would meet me at a certain time and place in North Carolina, and if convenient, he wished to travel a longer time with me.
Some time previous to this, two travelling preachers came from the Western Country and falling in with me, I recommended them among the brethren, and as they were strangers, I introduced them, where they were willingly received and where they soon became useful to the people. R. Dooly, the oldest of the them, was remarkably zealous and profitable to the souls of his [111] hearers. He here soon became popular, but his greatness chiefly consisted in his goodness.
The first week in April I spent almost night and day laboring for the good of souls in brother B's. neighborhood. The last sermon I preached there, was to a large congregation, on these words, "Finally my brethren farewell, &c. Here were assembled many of the happy converts whom I regarded as seals to my ministry who felt near and tender to my heart. Here were many dear old Christians with whom I had enjoyed many precious seasons of divine love and consolation. But with eyes full of tears and a heart overpowered with affection and tenderness, the time came when I had to bid farewell and part. Though we wept we surely wept the tears of joy. And though we parted, perhaps to meet no more in the flesh, yet we were comforted in fully believing we should meet in that peaceful land where the wicked cease to trouble and the weary be at rest. This memorable time so completely mingled with joy and sorrow, with grief and hope, with present mourning and future expectations, is never to to be forgotten.
The 10th of April, brother M. B. and the other two preachers beforementioned, being on the route I left, I took leave of my good and kind old brother B. and his affectionate family, while tears flowed from all our eyes and joy in hope of future bliss, filled our hearts. I went directing my course for North Carolina. I crossed Notaway river and being directed wrong I lost the direct road, and being much confused in going through plantations and along by-ways, after travelling about thirty five miles, in the evening I wanted to take up, as I was much fatigued in body, sorrowful and discouraged in my mind. Finding the inhabitants but thinly settled on the way I was going, seeing a path lead directly off, I thought as a path had been so fortunate to me once, I would try one again. I followed it, and on going one and two miles, a large, beautiful dwelling lifted its shining walls to my view. I rode up to the sumptuous gate and called. The landlord came to the door, looked at me and went back to his hall. I dismounted, [112] took along the serpentine walk which led through a beautiful green, ornamented with flowers and rose bushes, to the costly and well polished steps and went in. Frowning, he asked me who I was. I told I was a servant of God and wished to tarry all night with him. He said my answer was impertinent and evasive and that my request should not be satisfied there. And as for the servants of God (so called) he said he wanted none of them about him, for they were a pack of lazy, idle vagabonds, a set of deceivers and fanatics. I told him I had heard enough, and that all he had said did not make the assertion a fact, and that as I had not time to tell him his situation in full, referred him to the 16th Chap. of Luke, beginning with the 19th ver. and left the house. I then pursued on some miles, till about the going down of the sun, when I came to an humble roof, at the door I called. The man came out, his countenance was friendly and pleasing; an index, thought I, of a kind and benevolent heart. I asked a reception with him for the night. With haste and pleasure he invited me down. He took care of my horse and accommodated me kindly and comfortably. Our conversation soon fell on religion and I found he was a Methodist--a good man, who had, I thought, shared largely of that mind which was in Christ Jesus, and of that love which makes the heart glad and as a well of water springing up into everlasting life. He invited me to tarry with him the day following (as it was Sabbath) and preach for them. I told him I would tarry part of the day; and if he could collect some of the neighbours I would preach to them--A delightful Sabbath morning came. Word went out for preaching to be at 10 o'clock, the appointed hour rolled on and the house was full of people. While they were gathered some who saw me and understanding I was the one that was to preach, from my youthful appearance, thinking themselves disappointed went away before worship commenced. I felt much joy in the Holy Ghost and liberty in speaking to the people. They were attentive; many wept under the word and some shouted. The Lord was pleased to favor us with his [113] presence and we had a happy time. In the afternoon I went on and about dark came to the house of a Methodist, who received me and used me kindly for the night. I left his house and went on and crossed Roanoke and came into North Carolina. While travelling on the bottoms of this river I saw a specimen of horrid barbarity inflicted on a black man, which filled my heart with inexpressible grief, while I felt too much exasperated at the human monster who triumphed in his guilt and cruelty.
The overseer, with harden'd heart,
Tears the poor black man's flesh apart: With wood or hide he makes the blood Stain all the ground whereon he stood! |
I will observe, for some time past I have been very weak in bodily strength and not well in health. I also have continued to spit blood for more than three weeks with a distressing cough which seemed to increase on me. I travelled through Warren, Granville, Wake Counties, &c. and preached almost every day, and sometimes to very careless and unconcerned congregations. In some places pride seems to be a predominant passion among the people of these parts, which leads too many to treat the worship of God with indifference and often with contempt. I suppose this arises from the multitude of slaves with whom this land is plagued; and while they are innured to the hardest labor and the most cruel treatment, their owners lives on their fruits often indulging in idle and sinful practices.
Once I reproved a young lady, moderately for her improper behaviour while I was preaching. After worship concluded, in coming to the door one of her brothers met me, with his horsewhip lifted in his hand, swearing that he would give me a hell of a whipping for my impudence in reproving his sister. I told him she was the first aggressor, and he wanted to do justice to go and whip her. He then made a stroke at me, but a sturdy man who stood by defended the blow and told the other that if he wanted to fight to fight him who was his [114] match. And while they were disputing I went off clear.
I crossed Neuse river, went through Raleigh, Chapel hill, and about the first of May, came to my mother's having faithfully discharged my duty to several congregations on the way where I saw some goof attend my feeble labors. I had an appointment in the neighborhood which I attended but with so much bodily weakness that I could scarcely perform the service. It was now signified by some that I was in a consumpted state and would not long survive. However for several days I continued to preach at near and convenient places, as I was enabled, almost every day; where I saw divine power attend the word and a good effect appear in the name of the Lord.
Having made my arrangements to travel through the Western country with R. Haggard, we were to meet each other at my brother's on New River the first of June; on the 29th of May I bid farewell to my mother and friends, weak in body, much reduced in flesh, thinking perhaps, to see them no more in the flesh, and started as I thought to sound the gospel through the Western and frontiers of our country and to some of the friendly tribes of Savages. The contemplations of the day were serious and mournful, yet full of hopeful prospect and divine consolations to me. I now found myself on a journey of a vast distance in which I would have to penetrate extensive forests and uncultivated wilds; would meet with inhospitable, wild and unfriendly people, would suffer hunger, thirst, cold and nakedness, with many unforeseen difficulties. I had left my friends, relations and acquaintances, and being in a low state of debility and spitting of blood more than probable I might, among strangers be confined to bed and there pine away and die, where none could carry the news to those whom I had left behind. But a holy ambition to spread the fame of Jesus, a heavenly zeal to promote his cause and a flaming desire for the salvation of souls, gave me courage to go forth willingly and patiently to bear whatever my God would see proper for me to experience. I was willing to live or die, willing to suffer, willing to bear persecution, distress and [115] difficulty if the Lord would add his grace to my soul enable me to sound his Gospel afar and give me success in inviting souls to eternal life. In my resignation, I was happy as I passed along and left my native soil. After riding forty miles I called at an Inn, so weak and faint that for some time I could not get in the house till I was assisted by the Landlord. I found my sickness during the night to increase. The landlord had seen me before and now seemed to see much for my situation. He wanted a physician brought to me but to this I objected. I told him of the journey I was on, he advised me to stay with him till I could ride and then turn back home till I gathered more strength for I was not able to perform the journey in my present state. I tarried with him the day and night following and having taken a physic I felt a little recovered from my sickness and I thought able to ride. I went on my journey again, but in going a few miles I felt myself unable to get along; and was convinced of the propriety of returning and thought, a warm climate would suit my constitution best; that when I might be able to travel, I had better go toward the South till I should recover. I earnestly prayed to God to be instructed into my duty and that he would direct me as would be the most to his own glory. My impression received from my exercise, was to return, though much against my desires. I started back, stopped and rested a little while at the house where I lodged. I then went on and in two days arrived at my mother's with scarcely strength to walk. I was there confined for several days, while a distressing cough and a severe spitting of blood were almost incessant. I sometimes quite despaired of my recovery, of course thought closely about dying. My only trust and comfort, at the thought, was in God who I felt would not forsake me in the last trial as he had brought me through so many and saved me even until now. In the declining and painful state of body, I felt much joy and strength of soul and ascribed glory and praise to God that he had enabled me to waste my strength in sounding forth the word of his truth, and that purely for the salvation of souls was I brought low. [116]
About the middle of June I had recovered strength to go about and visit some of the nighest neighbors, regretting that I had been deprived of so much time from lifting up my voice like a trumpet to shew sinners their transgressions and the children of God their great and heavenly reward. About the last of June I was able to ride and recovered strength to speak so as to be heard by a congregation. My spitting of blood somewhat ceased and my cough was not so constant and severe. I now held a few meetings in the neighborhood, and on the 29th of June started and went through the various parts of North and South Carolina, preaching frequently to large congregations. The power of God, in several instances, attended the words of my mission and several souls professed to be converted. Here I found several companies of believers, some of whom had left the methodist's, they said, because of the despotic nature of their discipline, and had taken the scripture for their rule of church government, and Jesus Christ for their shepherd, king and ruler. I found the most of them a loving, zealous, godly people, but much persecuted by those whom they had left.
The weather was excessively warm here, and the people very pale and unhealthy; but I still felt myself recovering and my strength increase. The people here seem to be divided into two distinct grades. The negro holders are the rich, proud and lofty, elevated far above the common level, with whom it is generally thought to be a shameful condescension to converse or associate with a laboring man. Those who are not possessed of slaves are the poor, dispised and laboring, who can only accompany together! The land is generally poor (except on some of the large rivers, Pedee, Santee &c.) interspersed with pine and scrubby oak, very sandy and level, with numerous swamps and marshes, only suitable to the production of Rice, Indigo, Cotton and Sweet Potatoes, &c.
From thence I turned my course to North Carolina, about Fayetteville, Newbern and Raleigh, preaching to average once a day, in some places with seeming success, and in others I was derided, mocked, opposed and [117] persecuted. In Raleigh I held some meetings, where I had happy times with the brethren and saw sinners weeping and praying to God. From thence I went on through Wake into Warren county on Roanoke where I had some gracious and heavenly meetings. At Liberty meeting house the work of the Lord revived, two souls were converted and several others convicted, calling upon God to save them. Here I met with J. O'Kelley; we went over the river, came into Virginia and travelled several days together, preaching by day and by night, to congregations generally large, attentive and some deeply affected and solemnly impressed with the weight of divine truth. I then returned into Carolina, to brother G's where brother M. Barrett met me. Here while preaching, I was so severely attacked by the tooth-ach that I could not continue my discourse, I gave half a sermon, left the congregation and went three miles to a man who drawed teeth, and by having mine extracted I became relieved of the pain. As the people did not know my reasons for leaving them, some said I was crazy.
From thence I went on (brother B. with me) through Warren, Granville, Orange, Casewell Counties, crossed Dan river into Halifax, Virginia, then returned to Carolina, Casewell, Rockingham, Guilford into Orange, and came to my mother's, having preached almost every day and frequently at candlelight; in which time there were thirteen souls whom I saw, delivered from the power of darkness and translated into the kingdom of the son of God in whom they found redemption through his blood, even the forgiveness of sins; and many others were brought to a deep concern, for their salvation, sorrowing, and seeking Jesus the Saviour of sinners. Here brother B. tarried two days with me and we held a few meetings and saw some of the young people weeping and enquiring the way to Zion, with their faces thitherward. We then parted and he went on his way rejoicing.
By this time (the 10th of September) I had almost recovered from my complaint. My spitting of blood had almost ceased and my cough troubled me but little. [118] My appetite was restored and I felt myself able to undergo renewed exposures and hardships in spreading the Gospel and preaching Jesus to all men. The thanks, praise and adoration, by which I now felt myself obligated to God for his mercies and preserving care toward me, brought me to renew my covenant of strict and constant obedience to him. My soul now expanded with many glorious anticipations which came to my view. I saw in prospect the world filling with light and knowledge, love and union. The doctrines, commandments, systems and the traditions of men coming to nought when the word of God should be regarded as the grand criterion of human action, and the only rule for the church of God. When the scriptures should be the exclusive charter for religious opinion, and none should tyranize over the conscience of others, or subvert the weak to their unrighteous authority. The light of truth (thought I) has already burst forth upon the world. Has dissipated much of the darkness, ignorance, superstitions, idolatries and monastic slavery which so long shrouded the world in darkness, condemnation and fear. There is much more yet to be done, for the human mind to be clear, impartial and free, which shall shortly come to pass. The chains of prejudice, profession, bigotry and party spirit, which bind so many professors of religion in the sinking sands of persecution, shall burst asunder and let the captives go free. The spirit of opposition, division and animosity which now reigns among carnal and hypocritical professors shall be utterly destroyed by the brightness of the Lord's coming. Partyism shall flee away, division shall be known to more, persecution shall cease, opposition and hatred shall be turned into love, the nicknames for christians shall be forgotten, error shall be ashamed, truth shall prevail, love shall increase, self interest shall not be consulted, the work of the Lord shall prosper, christians shall unite and know each other as they are known, and all shall agree and rest in amity under the banners of the priest, shepherd and king of Israel. O shall I see that day when one shall not say I am of Paul, another I am of Apolos, another I am of Cephas, but when all shall be of Christ and [119] Christ in them. When party shall be dissolved and one society shall include, and one name distinguish the whole number of God's people. Shall I see the day when the pure, uninterested love of God shall actuate, influence and unite as all as one heavenly family together? Yes, the signs now appear in the east, the bright and morning star is now rising. His beams and glory prelude the near approach of morning. The sun shall shortly shine and pervade the nations with the brightness of his rising, shall penetrate and detect the hearts and works of all men. O what a casting away of idols there shall then be, what a howling among the careless, idle and slothful shepherds, what weeping, lamenting and crying among the merchants of Babylon. O what works of darkness, hypocrisy and deceit shall be detected and exposed. What malevolence, ill-will, hatred and strife, railings and evil surmisings shall be condemned as the fruits of the great Dragon, who so long deceived the nations. Ah! who shall be ready and found able to stand the manifestations and honest sifting of the time. The bigots who will receive, nor believe nothing but what comes from their own mint, will then find their prejudice, their carnal and contracted notions opposed, and they themselves found unworthy to share the glory of the heavenly day. Hundreds, no doubt, who now profess religion and loudly acclaim the name of Jesus will then oppose his reign, and will be found to be persecutors of that cause of which they now boast. Who is ready to give up his favorite human system, his creed, rules, commandment and doctrine invented by men and submit to the government of God? Who is ready to give up his religious interests, the emoluments of his party, his prejudice and partial attachments to those of his own sect resigning all at the Saviour's feet, to bend to his great authority and love all his children with the same impartial affection, constancy and zeal? My heart burns to see thy reign, O Lord, thy government in the earth. Then would I say, "I give thee thanks, O Lord God Almighty, which art, and wast, and art to come; because thou hast taken to thee thy great power, and had reigned." [120]
October 14th, 1810--I came to a communion meeting held by the christian brethren, at a meeting house called Apples, on Reedy Fork, (a river) Guilford COunty, North Carolina. There were five preachers at this place, and one of them preaching to a large concourse of people, when I arrived. After sermon we broke bread and partook of the Lord's supper, together with a number of dear disciples. After this solemn scene closed, I gave a short discourse upon brotherly love. The people, who were accommodated with seats, in and out of doors, behaved with solemn attention. Many seemed to be melted into tears, while many more were rejoicing in God their Saviour. In the evening I went to the house of a friendly Presbyterian, who treated me with all the kindness of a christian. The denomination of people in these parts are in the practice of communing with all God's people who allow it, and offer the same privilege to others when they spread the table themselves.
Monday 15th. This morning I started for the Yadkin river, in the evening came to a town called Salem. The citizens are all Moravians. At night I attended their worship, which was in a large and spacious room neatly accommodated, with four candlesticks, each holding six candles, and a large set of organs. These people are Germans and the whole town live as one family.
Tuesday 16th.--I came to brother T. Anderson's, in Rowan County, on Third creek, on the south side of the Yadkin river. I found him to be a dear man of God; much engaged in his humble sphere, in the curse of Christ. I tarried in the neighbourhood till Friday, the 19th, on which day our communion meeting commenced. I will observe that the people have been mostly Presbyterians, but many of them have recanted the Calvinistic doctrine, and now profess the Lord Jesus for their head, and the scriptures for their rule of faith and practice. These things gave their preacher the alarm. He understood that some of those people intended to commune (or take the Lord's supper) and to intimidate them, he told them last Sabbath (as I [121] understand) that as many as would, should certainly be excommunicated without any redress. He also told his hearers that he would rather see a flood of fire and brimstone rolling through the land, than that those preachers (alluding to those under the name of christians) should come there; and warmly warned his hearers against hearing them. Notwithstanding all this, on this day (Friday) we had a tolerable congregation. In the evening the people began to gather in from different quarters and settle on the ground, similar to what is called a camp-meeting. At night we held meeting to an attentive assembly.
Saturday 20th. A large number attended, and many wept under the word preached. This evening there are about thirteen camps, or tents on the ground. Preaching, exhorting, singing, or praying continued from 12 o'clock the remainder of the day and all night.
And Sunday 21st, about sun rise we began preaching again. One sermon was delivered. At ten o'clock preaching began again. Two sermons were delivered and then we proceeded to break bread; and though the brethren were under the hard sentence of excommunication, when an invitation was given to come to the Lord's table, about fifty-five came forward and chose to obey God rather than man. Surely the Glorious Lord was unto us a place of broad rivers and streams this day. This was a time of such happiness, love and power among the people that I expect never to forget it.
Monday 22nd. In the evening our meeting closed. During this meeting we had the pleasure of seeing two souls happily converted to righteousness; many joined in christian union, some mourning and seeking him of whom Moses, in the law and prophets, did write; and at our parting nearly the whole assembly melted into tears, for we expected not to see each other again till we should meet to part no more.
Tuesday 23d. I started for the frontiers of Tennessee, and rode till night and fell in at a friends house, who had a corn-husking. After supper, I was invited to preach to the labourers; I did so, upon I. Peter, 1. [122] chapter and 24th verse. The most of my hearers were Seceders; but they heard with attention and appeared to be solemn.
Wednesday 24th, Thursday 25th and Friday 26th, mine eyes were busied with viewing the variegated scene which the mountains, at the head of Holston, Wataga, New River, &c. presented.
Saturday 27th, I passed through Jonesborough and Leesburg, in East Tennessee.
Sunday 28th, After riding 8 miles, I called at Green Town, gave out for preaching and at 12 o'clock preached in the Court House, to an attentive assembly. After sermon a Presbyterian invited me home with him; I went and found a kind reception.
Monday 29th and Tuesday 30th, I passed over the beautiful and spacious streams of Clinch and Holston. Here are bodies of excellent land, but hills and mountains make it a rough country.
Wednesday 31st. At night I took up at a house on the bank of the big Emera river, where there was a corn-husking. The landlord was a friendly Presbyterian. He invited me to preach to the people; I did so. There was some appearance of good, and some disturbance among the people.
November, Sunday 4th. I arrived at a great meeting held by the people called Christians, at Hopewell meeting house, on Bledsoe creek, West Tennessee; having passed through an extensive and lonesome wilderness, where my provisions exhausted and I was reduced to extreme hunger, and suffered much by the cold and one constant day's rain. At this place I preached with liberty and much comfort, seeing the people's hearts were accessible and many deeply affected, at the force of my message. There were about twenty one preachers at this meeting. Here I became acquainted with Joel H. Haden, then immediately from Georgia, whose name, I had frequently heard mentioned in Virginia and Carolina, with respect. He is a young man, of brilliant talents and bids fair for a useful man. We were both strangers in this country and to this people, [123] but we were kindly received and our labours were attended with a peculiar blessing.
Here I cannot forbear to admire that kind hand who makes the solitary wilderness blossom like the rose, and the barren mountains sing for joy; how he has lavished out his richest blessings upon this distant land. Here I discover the face of the ground as an extensive, fertile bottom. All nature smiles with plenty, while the prolific earth is pregnant with her loaded fields of corn. The timber is large and stands thick upon the ground. The growth is poplar, walnut, buckeye, sugar tree, &c. &c. The soil and climate are adapted to the plentiful production of corn, wheat, rye, tobacco, cotton, sweet and Irish potatoes, &c.
Friday 9th. By the request of some friends and preachers at the above meeting, I attended a communion meeting (so called) at Bethlehem meeting house. The day was rainy, but few people attended, and the prospect was gloomy. None came to encamp on the ground, as is common about here on such occasions.
Saturday 10th. I preached first upon Heb. 3. 2. The christians were much engaged, and the ungodly seemed much affected with the weight of truth. I was so much engaged, while preaching, that I fell on my knees and prayed and beseeched my dear hearers to embrace pure and undefiled religion. At night the exercise of the people exceeded any thing that I had yet seen.
In this part of the country many of the people have an exercise called the jirks. When it comes upon the subject he is deprived of his own power, and sometimes of his speech, so long as it continues on him. He is thus taken with an irresistible force, altogether off his feet and dashed to the ground or floor, and from one place to another, sometimes hours together. The spectator is astonished because he is not immediately killed, and still more so, when, after this exercise is off, he finds the subject has received no hurt. In what is called dancing (at meeting) shouting and clapping of hands, there may be deception used, but in this exercise there [124] is none; for it is certainly an irresistible power of some kind. Men and women, religious and irreligious have it.
Sunday 11th. There was a mixed multitude of hearers to preach to. I addressed them first. Some were mad, some were pleased, some wept, and some laughed at what they saw and heard.
At night the power of God was truly among the people; some rejoiced aloud, and others wept bitterly. A drunken man attempted to disturb the worship, but a justice of the peace soon caused him to withdraw.
Monday 12th. Early in the morning, at the house where many of us lodged, I gave an exhortation, under which many appeared to be much animated. The business of ordaining a preacher to the officer of an elder being a duty of this day, it was proposed that we should fast and pray. The evening coming on and the parting of dear brethren and mourners near at hand, the most of the congregation were dissolved in tears.
Tuesday 13th. At night, after riding about 56 miles, I preached on Luke I. 79, with uncommon liberty. The people were attentive, and some much affected. I am now on my way to Duck river, Muscle shoals (of Tenn.) and the Mississippi Territory.
Wednesday 14th. After travelling 80 miles, at night, at a little cabin near the fishing ford, on Duck river, I preached to a few lively, zealous christians. I am now on Duck river, where the inhabitants are thinly settled, in low, small, log cabins. The land is vastly fertile, and yields corn at an almost incredible increase. Corn may now be had here at twenty-five cents per barrel.
Thursday 15th. I travelled several miles, to an appointment, in the rain. The inclemency of the weather was such that no people turned out. At night I took sick which continued through the night.
Friday 16th. I still feel unwell, but I must continue my travel. In the morning I started on my journey in order to be at the two days meeting, to be holden not far from Columbia (a town) low down on Duck river. This day I travelled about thirty miles; I [125] passed two houses and eat nothing during the day. As I have come through most of the Duck river country, I will observe that the land is generally very good and surprisingly level. A thick growth of the largest timber and especially there is a great quantity of sugar tree. These parts are but partially and indifferently watered. I have seen but two springs in riding sixty miles. I am told that water is easily come to by digging. At night I came to brother Davis', but not without much pain and affliction.
Saturday 17th. We attended meeting, and found that "they that wait upon the Lord shall renew their strength." One thing I have caused to be glad for, that I scarcely speak to any congregation lately but I see and feel happy times. I see the children of God happy every day, and sinners are cut to the heart by the sword of the spirit which is the word of God. At night we truly had a refreshing shower from the presence of the Lord.
Sunday 18th.--It rained incessantly from morning till the afternoon, in consequence of which there were but few that attended meeting; but those who came out were happy in Jesus and were united together in love.
I am now on Duck rive, near Columbia, where nature hath prepared almost numberless conveniences for the benefit and happiness of mankind. Here the earth is rich and fertile, and the climate is so happily accommodated to the soil that the ground sends forth every kind of produce that is common to America in the richest abundance. Here the forests are tall and thick; timber of the largest size, such as poplar, walnut, beech and sugar trees. Cane pervades the whole ground, and in successive brakes waves its tall green head. The cane is the most excellent summer and winter forage for cattle and horses. The inhabitants live in a low grovelling manner, in little, low, open huts, exposed to various inclemencies. It is highly presumable that in a few years this part will make an elegant and conspicuous figure. The laborious and prudent husbandman will send his produce down the gentle but mighty river, [126] to New Orleans, and get the delicacies of life in an abundant reversion. He will build his swelling fabric of the materials that are common to his country, without much expense or toil. Here are spacious levels, suitable for numerous and extensive farms. No intervention of craggy rocks and towering mountains, but a level and most beautiful landscape spreads itself far and wide and thus invites the traveller for days together.
Monday 19th.--Was a lowering day, which prevented me from going to my intended place.
Tuesday 20th.--In travelling to my appointment on the river Bigby, I was pleased with the romantic scene which this new country presented before me. O! how that God who giveth us richly all things to enjoy, has poured the blessings of nature upon this almost uninhabited land. For days past the land was good, almost without choice, but nature hath this evening invited me into a more propitious soil. From twelve to fifteen miles south of Columbia the earth lies clothed with all the extravagancy of its growth--timber and cane. This is what is called "the new purchase." The inhabitants settle here, some in small pole cabins, some in tents, several families have situated themselves in the stumps of hollow poplars. As this land is not yet disposed of by congress, every man who is disposed to settle here chooses himself a small plantation and makes the outlines of it by blazing trees with his axe.
At night the inhabitants from four to five miles round met for preaching. They paid great attention to the word, but I saw little success. There is a preacher here of the christian church; he gave an exhortation, but coldness still pervaded the congregation. After this, while singing, the melting showers of grace warmed our hearts and we had a glorious time.
Wednesday 21st.--In the morning, while reading a certain composition, an old lady interrupted me, and in a very solemn manner said, "Ah my dear child you will not be permitted to live long upon earth." This alarmed me. I wanted an explanation; but she gave me none. I rode on to Richland creek. This day I crossed the ridge which divides the waters of Bigby and Elk [127] rivers. Here is a body of poor, broken, stony land. But on Richland creek it is rich indeed; here the cane is tall and thick.
Thursday 22d.--On Elk river I preached to a few people, where the gospel was never proclaimed by man before. They behaved well, and seemed desirous to hear me of this matter again. I am now but a few miles from the Indians. This evening, after dark, I withdrew a stone's cast into the cane, to pray to him that seeth in secret. After being engaged some time, I heard a dry stalk of canebreak but a few steps from me; I immediately thought of Indians. I heard another break, and the impression was strong upon my mind that an Indian was at hand; I then rose from my knees forgot the duty I was engaged in, and ran with all my might for the house. When I came to consider, I found that this was more the fright of the power of darkness than anything else; for probably an Indian was not within a mile of me. When I found myself baffled from my duty I felt shame and confusion before God.
Friday 23d and Saturday 24th. I rode through a large extent of uninhabited land: The most of it was exceedingly fertile and level, but no springs: I thought I would almost famish for water. Last evening I was much frightened at the screaming of what I supposed to be a panther.
In yon deep, lovely grove I roam'd unseen,
Midst shady oaks and laurels ever green; Where beasts of prey and prowling vultures haunt, And the dread savage made my heart to pant. |
Sunday 25th. I arrived at Columbia. I preached in the court house, which was not finished. They paid great attention, and waited with patience, decency and decorum. A few minutes before preaching, while warming myself by the fire, a dissipated, ungenteel wretch spake to men in an indecent, abrupt manner.
Meantime I was interrogated by another what profession I was of? I answered I was a professor of religion. But of what denomination? I said, of the [128] religious denomination. Ah! but presbyterian, methodist, baptist, or what? I said I am of each. Are you a turn coat? (said he.) No, but I consider there are good people among all those denominations, and inasmuch as they were of God, I was of them.
This evening I went a few miles from town, and held meeting, and had a happy season.
Monday 26th. Snowed, and I abode all day at brother Davis's.
Tuesday 27th. I took my leave of a few kind brethren who lay near my heart. Our parting put me in mind of Paul parting from his Corinthian brethren who fell upon his neck and kissed him, when he said, I know that I shall see your face no more.
I rode thirty-five miles toward Cumberland again: At night I lodged where there were a few people who loved God. I talked a few things to them upon 19 chap. of Job. We were all much comforted.
Wednesday 28th. I preached at the fishing ford, on Duck river, on John 1, 14, to attentive people. They were much affected, some wept and some rejoiced. The people about here seem anxious to obtain eternal life, and attentive to hear the word of the Lord proclaimed.
At night the people came to hear preaching without an appointment: I preached to them with much joy and liberty.
Thursday 29th. I had to ride twelve miles in the rain. The rain was cold and the ground uncommonly muddy. No person met me at the appointed place. I retired to a private house and found the main to be a preacher, but of no denomination. In the evening he sent out and gathered the neighbors, and I spake to them on Jam. 5, 7. There was but little appearance of good being done: After meeting, in conversing with the man of the house, I found him to be of a singular turn of mind; of a new and strange understanding of the scriptures. Family prayer he entirely rejected as being a burthen laid on by priestcraft. He said he would not object to my praying in his family; I told him I would pray with no such a man who had no faith in my prayers, and who counted it a burthen; so we omitted it. [129]
Friday 30th. I wandered from my direct path, and was thrown out of my way fifteen miles. I rode my horse in almost a full stretch to get to my appointment till two o'clock. At this time I found the people waiting for me; we had a joyful meeting. At night we also had a comfortable time, at the same place.
Saturday, December 1. I discovered something of the fatal effects of religious bigotry and partyism. There are six denominations of Christians in this neighborhood. They are extremely bitter against each other. They will hear no man preach but their own party. What a shame! What a disparagement to the cause of God, and what a stigma upon Christ who is not really divided. After preaching I rode ten miles to my appointment on Stone's river. I had a comfortable time in preaching. I sat and taught the people; they thought strange that I should sit while preaching; not remembering that Christ often sat and taught the people.
Sunday 2d. Was a rainy day, but the people attended without reserve. This was a happy time to many of us. We rejoiced and sat together in heavenly places, in Christ Jesus.
Monday 3d. Last night my horse broke out of the stable; and it is now ten o'clock, and he is not yet found.
Tuesday 4th. During yesterday one or two of the friends were hunting my horse, but they could not find him. Now, according to my wants, a man offered me a horse to ride to Cumberland. I accepted the kindness and attended my meeting. The day was cold, but the people attended with avidity to hear the word. Here I was met by brother Adams, who took me home with him. I found him to be a servant of the most high God, and a man of information and learning. He is a preacher of the christian church.
Wednesday 5th. I preached at his house to a solemn and attentive people. At night, seven miles distant, I met a crowded house of people, who came to hear the word of the Lord.
Thursday 6th. At Bethlehem meeting house I preached to a large congregation: They were much affected. At night five miles off I preached to an [130] attentive people. This evening the horse I had lost had been secured by a friend so that I had got him again. The one I had borrowed I sent home to the owner.
Friday 7th. Five miles below Lebanon (a town) I addressed the people upon these words: Godliness is profitable unto all things."
At night, though very cold, the people came out to hear. Miraculous power was displayed in the agitation of some of their bodies. Here I saw a very corpulent woman under the exercise of what is called the jirks. She was prostrated several times upon the floor and across the benches, till I thought she would be killed; but after meeting she told me she received no hurt.
Saturday 8th.--I crossed Cumberland river, and made for two miles above Gallatin (a town) I was informed that I was to preach at night; but when I came to the place the people had gathered and were dispersing. I was sorry for the disappointment; but the people gathered again for night meeting. They paid great attention, and I spake with uncommon liberty.
Sunday 9th.--I came to Hopewell meeting house where I first preached in this country. The day was cold, but the congregation was large and attentive. I spake with but little life or liberty. The people are decent and well behaved; but, I fear, are much hardened under the repeated sound of the Gospel. I could not do many mighty works there because of their unbelief. In the afternoon I rode ten miles to Goose creek, and lodged at a namesake of mine.
Thursday 13th. Feeling the importance of precious souls, and longing for their salvation, I was enabled to speak, to attentive people, with life and power. They felt the word, and several came to where I was standing, and kneeled down and requested prayer to be made for them.
Friday 14th. I set out for the barrens of Kentucky. I travelled thirty-five with great suspense and trouble, passing only two houses.
My way was a small path which sometimes led over high, steep hills, fearful rocks, and many small creeks. [131] At length it became intricate and blind, and finally I was left to wander a stranger in a strange land, not knowing whither I went! Late in the evening I came upon a small creek, which was so bounded by hills that I was forced to keep down it, and about the dusk of the evening I found a small path which led me directly to brother Byram's, the place where I intended. With this man's conversation and entertainment I was much refreshed and comforted.
Saturday 15th and Sunday 16th. I held two days meeting at brother Mulky's. Here I was met by my dear brother Dooly. We had a crowded house on Saturday. The people felt the weight and power of truth. At night, meeting commenced again; the christians were much exercised, among whom was a woman moved. and surely by the power of the Holy Ghost, to speak to the people. I was no little astonished at her flow of speech and consistency of idea. She drew a parallel between the righteous and the wicked. While she observed the joy and happiness of the former in this present world, and the end being everlasting life, she declared (according to scripture) that the latter had no rest, day or night; there is a dreadful sound in their ears, and finally they should be punished with everlasting destruction, &c. Many felt the weight of her exhortation, and some were mourning under conviction the greater part of the night.
Sunday, though extremely cold, the people came many miles to meeting, and we had a glorious, heavenly, happy time. This evening my illness returned; pains and a hot fever. O! the rackings of the head ache! Many are the afflictions of the righteous.
Monday 17th. I came to Mud Camp (a creek) on my way to Burksville (a town.) To day my horse is much lame, and I am very unwell. In this situation I rode this extreme cold day 20 miles, a difficult and dangerous road. It was dark when I came on the creek; I had to cross it several times, and three times on the ice. Once my horse's feet slipped from under him, and fell with my leg under him. I thought I would be killed; but thank God I escaped, but much hurt. [132]
Tuesday 18th. I arrived at Burksville. At night the people collected for preaching, I addressed them on these words: learn of me. These are civil, polite people, well behaved, who appeared to be affected while listening to the gospel.
Wednesday 19th. I rode 20 miles. At night, on the head of the Little Barren river, I preached to as hard hearted, unaffected a people as ever I did in my life.
Thursday 20th. I am unwell. Brother Dooly preached to an attentive people. He said some hard, but true things against slave holders.
Friday 21st. I came to two day's meeting, at brother Byram's.
Saturday 22d. I tried to preach to the people, but it was with a considerable degree of embarrassment.
At night we had a solemn, happy meeting: it appears as though there will be a Godly reformation among this people.
Sunday 23d. I suppose many people were disappointed to-day; for Barren river and the water courses which bound the meeting house, were full and impassable. Those that did come, waited with solemn attention. I preached first, and two more sermons were delivered afterwards.
Tuesday 25th.--This is Christmas day. This is the memorable day on which my Saviour was born. This is the day that the people that walked in darkness have seen a great light: they that dwell in the land of the shadow of death, upon them hath the light shined. This day I had an appointment at brother Mulky's. About 500 people gathered to hear the word of the Lord.
I addressed them with this query, "How shall we escape if we neglect so great salvation?" At this was the birth day of the Saviour, I took an occasion to remind my hearers of him; I endeavored to shew what a great Saviour he is. By the time I had noticed a few particulars the whole congregation seemed to melt into tears.
The wicked manifested their need of the Saviour by their countenances, their tears and cries. Many of the children of God were constrained to raise their [133] general acclamation of praise to their exalted Saviour. O! what a glorious day this was to me!
The night was set apart for communion, or receiving the Lord's supper and the washing of the saints' feet.
When the time came on we repaired to the meeting house, which is about two miles off. About six or seven hundred people came to hear preaching and to see the humble and solemn scene.
Here the Lord was surely made known to us in the breaking of bread, and much more in the washing of feet. I have long desired to comply with this express command of Christ. But, it seems, this is the first people whose humility is deep enough to sibmit to so abasing an ordinance, that I have yet met with. I never experienced a greater share of the mind of Christ than while I was found in these ordinances. A baptist preacher who communed with us, rose up on a bench and proposed two questions: the one was--"Simon, son of Jonas, lovest thou me?" the other was--"Children have you here any meat?" In his observation he made it appear, 1st, if we loved Christ we certainly would love one another; and 2nd, if we had any meat we surely would give to them whom we loved. Consequently all the children of God would love one another, and all eat bread at the Lord's table together.
This was a night of so much joy and happiness among God's children, old and young, and of such sorrow and mourning to the broken hearted, that my heart fails in describing it. O! what shouts of glory, glory, glory, from the christian, and what lamentable cries for mercy, mercy, from the mourning souls!
Thursday 27th. I started for the head of Little Barren river again, and late in the evening my horse was taken with a violent cholic. I took the saddle off him and he groaned and rolled from place to place, and I expected him to die immediately. There was no house within many miles that I could get any assistance to relieve him. At this time I underwent great conflicts and temptations of mind. My distresses all crowded upon me. I now considered myself a stranger in a [134] strange country, without a friend to assist me, and only two dollars of money remaining, with a dying horse, as I thought, upon the ground. My only redress for comfort was prayer.
While I was engaged in this exercise these words rushed into my mind; "He found him in a strange land, in a waste, howling wilderness; he led him about, he instructed, he kept him as the apple of his eye." These words gave me to believe that God would not leave me alone. I rose from my knees thanking God for the comfort which I had received. About dusk my horse began to mend, and in half an hour he was so well that I began to lead him on my way again. About nine o'clock I arrived at my intended place.
Saturday 29th. I started for the old settlements of Kentucky.
I intended to get to Col. Cacy's, in Adair county, this evening, but I was thrown out of my direct way about ten miles, in consequence of an impetuous storm which passed along a few days ago.
In the night I came to col. C's. and found him to be a hospitable friend.
Sunday 30th. I happened at a baptist meeting. The preacher delivered a discourse which pleased me much. He seems to have a consistent understanding of the gospel, and the necessity of union among God's people. After he concluded I was invited to speak. I did so.
Here is a revival among the baptists, and I discover the spirit of christianity among them. I tarried all night where preaching was held, and at night some came out without an appointment, expecting me to preach. I did so.
Monday 31st. At night I had an appointment for preaching in this neighbourhood. A large number attended. The people were very solemn and attentive. Five came and requested prayer to be made for them. A great and effectual door is opened round about here for preaching the gospel, especially by those who bear no Sectarian name.
Tuesday, Jan. 1st, 1811. This is the first day of a new year. O! what sweet contemplations I have had [135] this morning! I am one year nigher my hope, my heaven, my all.
This day I preached at colonel Cacy's. I told them to "buy the truth, and sell it not." I talked with ease and liberty. A great solemnity rested on all the congregation; some were much affected, and, I hope, a few, last night and to-day, made resolutions to cease to do evil.
Wednesday 2d. I crossed Green river. The soil of this part is loose, black and fertile. This evening I was much troubled to get a house to lodge in. Some time in the night I came to a small cabin, in which a family had but a few days lived. I entreated them for something to eat, for I had rode all day in the cold, and had eat nothing. They were kind to me. They gave me a piece of cold, coarse bread, and some boiled flesh of wild turkey. As they let me tarry all night, about bed time I asked leave to pray among them. And while in the exercise my mind was drawn out to God for them. I saw it was not without good effect. The man expressed a desire for religion; and the woman acknowledged herself a poor, guilty, condemned sinner. I exhorted them to put their trust in him who is the sinner's friend.
Thursday 3d. I travelled in the snow, while the cold rain poured upon me, which made it a tiresome and disagreeable day's journey. Though I travelled this day through the snow, the cold, the rain and the sleet, I had no opportunity to warm myself, nor to receive any victuals. In the evening I took up at a Presbyterian's, who used me with unexpected friendship and hospitality. Here I had some warm coffee, which done me much good.
Friday 4th. To-day some water courses were getting full and almost impassable; but I crossed them, not without danger, but without damage. In the evening I came near to the Kentucky river. I enquired for James Reed, a preacher of the christian church. In the night I arrived at his house.
Saturday 5th. I crossed Kentucky river, and after [136] going a few miles, I came into the rich lands, and old settlements of Kentucky.
Here is the best land that mine eyes have yet seen. Here are numerous and some extensive farms in a good state of cultivation. Beautiful fields and many elegant brick buildings. This evening I cam to old brother Allen's. He immediately sent out to give notice that I would preach at his house.
Sunday 6th.--Though an inclement day about one hundred persons came to preaching. But little solemnity seemed to rest upon the audience.
Monday 7th.--At night I had a large congregation. Many of them felt the word and wept under it.
Tuesday 8th.--At night I had meeting appointed in Lexington; but the rain and mud prevented the people from coming out.
Wednesday 9th.--I rested at brother Allen's.
I call this home, because he uses me as a father, and is every way affectionate to me: May the Lord reward him according to his works.
Saturday 12th.--I preached at Mount Tabor, a large stone meeting house belonged to the christians. The weather was cold, the people's hearts were cold, and my sermon was cold and dry. O what a freezing time we had.
At night I held meeting in Lexington. The brethren appeared to be much comforted. A baptist preacher exhorted. He appeared to be full of friendship and love. He said he was no respecter of persons, but in every nation he that feared God and worked righteousness is accepted with him. While the people were dispersing, a man dropped a half dollar in my hand, and whispered to me saying, "give me the worth of this in love," I told him I loved him without pay. He then told me to take that for interest!
Sunday 13th.--In Lexington my congregation was large and attentive. I took an occasion to expatiate upon the revelation of God to men. I shewed the impossibility of obtaining the least knowledge of God [137] without revelation. I then called their attention to what was revealed.
One God, one mediator, creation, man's sin, salvation, through Christ Jesus, immortality at his right hand forever.
Monday 14th.--I came home (to brother Allen's) and began to read Volney's Revolutions of Empires. Tho' this author is a noted Deist, it is observable how remarkably correct he places the origin and progress of the human race with the scripture account. He says, "Man found himself naked, and by being exposed to the inclemencies of the weather was excited to the desire of covering his body, and he made himself clothing; by the attraction of a powerful pleasure he approached a fellow being and perpetuated his species."
Wonderful! Where did he get this from? Who told him that the first man and woman saw themselves naked and sewed fig leaves together and clothed themselves? Who informed him that Adam knew Eve his wife, and she conceived and bear Cain, and said I have gotten a man from the Lord? Surely it must be Moses, that man who in another place he calls a wicked impostor! At length he intimates that man went beyond the limits of virtue, or in other words, he violated the principles of selflove, which he calls the law of nature. And the direful effects of which may be seen in the depopulation of cities, devastations and death. And is this contradictory to the Mosaic account? Moses only says that Cain slew his brother, which was going beyond the limits of virtue. And as the scripture again says, "as by one man sin entered into the world, and death by sin." Here Volney agrees with the scripture; for (says Volney) when the law of nature was violated, death immediately followed. As Cain did evil, sin lay at the door, and when sin was finished it brought forth death, in a similar manner in which Volney confesses.
Tuesday 15th.--I met brother Haden eight miles off; he preached on, "he that believeth on the son hath everlasting life," much to my satisfaction. He contended earnestly for the faith once delivered to the saints. He [138] contended that faith, or belief, was in some measure antecedent to heart-felt repentance, which worketh salvation to the soul. He gave us faith in its rise, progress, act and end. The constitution of man (says he) was the gift of his reasoning faculties, by which he could investigate and decide; by hearing a relation he could believe, or disbelieve, according to the credibility of testimony.
At night I preached at brother Roberts' to a large congregation, upon Isa. 33, 22. The appearance of success was glorious. A few souls came forward to be prayed for. They did not profess faith in Christ, or a release from their burthen of sin and guilt that night; but resolved to seek till they found the salvation of God.
Wednesday 16th.--I preached at brother Elmore's. I found great liberty and comfort in speaking. My mind was much drawn out in thankfulness, and my thought expanded, while my tongue was unloosed to declare the truths of the everlasting gospel. Some of God's dear children rejoiced aloud, while several wept and cried for mercy. About ten came forward and requested an interest in the prayers of the righteous. There appears to be a glorious prospect of the work of God in this place. May many souls taste and see that the Lord is good.
Thursday 17th.--I return to brother Allen's. I search the scriptures, which are able to make one wise to salvation. This day I was impressed with an awful sense of the shortness of this life, and the necessity of improving it.
Alas! my days how swift they run,
And take me down to death; May I the sacred pages turn, And read them every breath. |
Saturday 19th.--At night I went to preach at Roberts', but the inclemency of the weather prevented the people from coming together. [139]
Sunday 20th.--I preached at brother Allen's. Brother J. Reed preached also. He is loud and energetic in his manner of speaking. We saw some blessing attend our labours; for many appeared desirous for salvation.
If I understood brother Reed, he thinks a person is sanctified before he is justified. He also believes that baptism is to be buried with Christ in baptism.
Monday 21st.--Till Friday 25th I remained here. Friday I started for Lexington: but my horse was so very lame that I was two hours and a half going four miles. In the evening I came to brother M'Nitts, who is a dear man of God, and who treated me as though I had been a kinsman, or brother according to the flesh. He told me I should make his house my home as long as I thought proper, at any rate till my horse recovered his lameness; and if I wanted a horse to ride to any appointment, I should have one of his. I thanked him for his kindness and accepted the offer.
Saturday 26th.--I borrowed a horse from brother M'Nitts to attend to my appointment in the neighbourhood of Bethel meeting house. I met a decent tender hearted people. Scores of beloved brethren live about here, and they have formerly been greatly engaged in the cause of religion. Here, I believe, is where they first renounced all names for the name of Christ, and threw away all confessions, catechisms, articles, &c. and took the word of God for their rule of faith, practice, and government, if any where in this western country.
Sunday 27th. I attended at Mount Tabor. Here I saw dancing going on for the worship of God. If this exercise is irresistible it is truly mysterious.
Monday 28th. I attended to reading and searching the holy scriptures. I see more and more every day the necessity of a preacher of the gospel having the scriptures dwelling in him, that he may have them constantly fresh in his memory; and to give attendance to reading, to exhortation, to doctrine.
Tuesday 29th. I attended again at Bethel. The ice and sleet made it disagreeable travelling; but when [140] I came the congregation was large. I addressed them upon these words: "all are yours." The tears of some and the shouts of others made an appearance that the shepherd and bishop of souls was amongst us.
After meeting I returned to M'Nitts's.
Wednesday 30th. At night I had meeting in Lexington. Some formal professors were alarmed and much stirred up. A certain man who had formerly been in the Indian wars, and had an arm cut off, this evening found Jesus of Nazareth, and was not ashamed to tell that the son of man hath power on earth to forgive sins. He made some beautiful and affecting observations upon the goodness of God. "O! the goodness and mercy of God (said he) to preserve me in the battles when the bullets were flying, the tomahawks throwing and the kives cutting round the heads of my expiring friends. And this is not all (said he) though I have been loyal to my country, I have been a rebel against the king of glory. But he has exercised compassion, all this compassion, and received the rebel, the old rebel; glory to God for what I feel!"
This was expressed so feelingly that those who had witnessed like precious faith rejoiced with him. O what a happy season we had together.
Thursday 31st. I preached at Mount Tabor. I met with no apparent success, but coldness and formality seemed to pervade the people.
The company of members is large at this place; but it appears as though many of them have sunk into a state of lukewarmness. O that they may remember from whence they are fallen.
Friday February 1st. In the morning, at brother M'Nitts's, one Mr. Walker a Presbyterian, from the Ohio, falling into an argument with me, became highly offended, and abused me with unchristian language.
He said he would warn the people against me where-ever he went. In the Ohio he would stop up my way, as I intended to go there, so that I should not preach my damnable doctrine in that country. He started without bidding me God speed. After he was gone I considered upon the many oppositions that the true and faithful [141] ministers of the gospel meet with. What will bigots not do to establish their favourite system? How much blood has been spilt in such endeavours. How many innocent lives have been taken to gratify this wild nature?
But in these days, in this country, we feel the blessing of religious liberty.
"Now Satan roars with anguish, his servants quake with fear;
His boasted kingdom totters, its fall we soon shall hear, Go on victorious Saviour, go on Almighty King, O chain the woeful dragon, and cause the world to sing." |
At night, in Lexington, I heard a Presbyterian divine deliver a discourse upon the great advantages of religious society, Ruth 1, 16.
Saturday 2d. At night I preached again at brother Elmore's. I had sweet liberty in addressing the people; they appeared to be solemn and attentive.
Sunday 3d. I preached at a place where the people were attentive, but I saw but little appearance of good being done among them.
Monday 4th. I went to brother Wm. Linsay's. Here I became acquainted with a polite and friendly young man.
He invited me home with him; accordingly I went. I found that seven of the family belonged to the christian church. They were all friendly and kind to me. The old man wanted me to stay six months with him.
Tuesday 5th. I went to Georgetown; but by the carelessness of the people my appointment had not been published.
At night I returned and had meeting at L's. Here I saw brother McClung, a preacher of the christian church from the Indiana territory. Our meeting was encouraging; many wept and cried, and others shouted aloud for joy.
Wednesday 6th. At 4 o'clock in the evening I held meeting at brother Kelly's. A large audience attended. Singing, shouting, exhortation or praying continued till some hours in the night. Here were several under deep conviction; they cried; they mourned; they [142] prayed. O what prayers, what united prayers were sent up to heaven for their salvation. Here, when the christians are engaged, one does not wait for another to pray, neither does one wait till another ceases; but, perhaps twenty, thirty or forty are all praying loud and fluent at once. Some may cry out that this is "delusion, confusion, deception." But when I see this work carried on with such fervent, solemn devotion, I cannot join in saying, "delusion." But with the poet let me say,
"The news of his mercy is spreading abroad,
And sinners come weeping and praying to God. The noise of their weeping is heard very loud, And many's found favour through Jesus's blood." |
Thursday 7th. I returned to Lexington, where I met with five preachers of the christian church, one of whom was B. W. Stone. This evening he delivered a sermon on the pre-existence of Jesus Christ, for a full knowledge of this doctrine, the reader is referred to Dr. Watts' Glories of Christ.
Friday 8th. At night I held meeting with brother Haden, on Clear creek. The people behaved well; but did not appear to feel the word.
Saturday 9th. We rode fourteen miles; crossed Kentucky river, and preached to a large congregation. Many of them were deeply affected. Some danced, some jirked, some shouted, others sung and prayed. At night we held meeting two miles off. I tried to preach to the people; but before I could go through my subject the noise of shouting and crying for mercy drowned my voice.
Five had fallen to the floor as in a swoon, some of whom requested to be prayed for. Eight or ten were under the power of the jirks; several were dancing and many were crying. It was truly solemn and wonderful.
Sunday 10th. We held meeting in Harrodsburg (a town in Mercer county.) A numerous congregation met us. Brother Haden preached to them. At night we preached four miles off, to a crowded audience. The [143] people were attentive and solemn. The work of the Lord seems to prosper in this part. Sinners are affected with a sense of their sins and professors are revived.
Monday 11th.--We rode back to brother More's. My feet were almost frozen this day.
Tuesday 12th.--The weather was very cold and my shoe-boots are so worn out that my feet are exposed to the wind and snow. Some of clothes were also so much worn that the cold north wind come piercing my naked skin.
This morning I rode eight miles and preached to a few people who appeared to care but little about the gospel, or them that preached it.
Wednesday 13th.--I preached at J. Reed's on Kentucky river. I had sweet liberty in speaking, and the people appeared to feel the power of truth. One of brother R's daughters has lately professed faith in Christ; and there is great joy in the family at present. At night I had meeting with brother Haden, two miles off. I preached. The people generally were under a gracious feeling. Some of them were taken with the jirks, and some with the dancing exercise. The solemnity and good feelings of others appeared to leave them.
After meeting I talked with brother Haden about the exercise of the people at meeting, that I felt like opposing it. He talked to me on the subject.--He persuaded me not, and gave me some reasons why he thought it was best to refrain.
I told him that if it was of God, the solemnity of the people would not leave them so soon. He soon let me know that that was not an objection. How often have you preached (said he) till you have raised some of the wicked to a violent passion. When this was done, suppose I was to forbid you and tell you, preaching was not of God, or it would not offend people.
Thursday 14th.--At brother Scott's, on Clear creek, I preached to a large number of people. When I began I was almost too unwell to stand up; but while I was speaking I felt so much of heaven that I forgot my sickness, and spake with much ease and liberty.
At night brother Haden held preaching and had a [144] feet washing among the saints at this place; but I was unable to be out of my bed. Pains in my head and throughout my whole body were very severe during the night.
Friday 15th. I continued sick. I now began to consider again about my mother and absent relations. Perhaps they will never hear of my death, and her grey hairs will be brought to the ground in sorrow. I then gave up that I should see them no more, or hear of them till the time shall come when all that are in their graves shall hear his voice and come forth. I felt as though I should have a part in the first resurrection; glory to God. Brother Haden drew near my bed side. He told me not to trouble my thoughts about my relations, for if I died he would go directly to my people and tell them where and how I departed the world. And if I lived and desired it, that he would not leave me until I recovered. I desired that he should stay with me. He brought the doctor to me, and was very kind to me in every respect. The family also was remarkably kind and tender to me. The Lord grant unto them that they find mercy of the Lord in that day. In the night I felt great relief from my pains. O what love I feel to God and my friends. I hope the Lord Jesus will say unto this family, I was sick and ye visited me.
Saturday 16th. In the evening I feel well enough to ride; but my friends insisted that I should not ride till to-morrow.
Sunday 17th. I feel well, but considerably weakened. In the morning I started for Lexington. On my way a man who pitied me, gave me a pair of shoes from his own feet.
At 4 o'clock I preached in Lexington. It was a melting time indeed. Lord carry on thy work in this wicked place.
At night I went to brother M'Nitt's. He was glad that the Lord had spared me.
Monday 18th and Tuesday 19th. I stay here to recover my strength; but I continue constant in prayer and reading. The bible is my greatest comfort in time of sickness and trouble. It soothes my sorrows [145] and its gracious promises enables me to endure pains and afflictions with resignation and patience.
Wednesday 20th. In Lexington I preached in a different part of the town from where I had usually attended. The house was crowded with attentive hearers. The christians were much engaged in singing, praying and shouting. The young people were remarkably affected. Many were melted into tears, and enquired what they should do to be saved?
Friday 22d. At night I preached at a place not far from Frankfort (the seat of government of Kentucky) where there had not, lately, been much preaching. A large number attended and behaved with decency and attention. Two appeared to be sensible of their sinful state, and desired that prayer should be made for them.
Saturday 23d. At brother Benton's I preached to a large congregation; some appeared to feel the word, and some I had to reprove.
Sunday 24th. I held meeting at Bethel meeting house. This was a beautiful day, and great multitudes of people gathered together. I spake to them with uncommon liberty. Many appeared to feel the word, and cried aloud for mercy. The christians were much revived. We prayed, we sung and exhorted till near sun down. O what a heavenly day this was to me. I felt greatly comforted and strengthened. At night brother Haden met me at brother R's. where we had meeting. A number of people came together. Haden preached and I exhorted. The power of God was felt to be among us. The children of the highest rejoiced aloud. Many were under conviction, mourning to be brought out of the prison house. The cause of God appears to be respectable here, and the christians are zealously affected. H. in his discourse, intimated to us that the devil was not guilty of all that he was blamed with. And sometimes to excuse ourselves we would say, Ah, I would not have done so had it not been for old Adam, or the devil; but that this was an error, and we are the greatest devils to ourselves. After the congregation was dispersed a young boy of about ten years of age [146] observed to his father, that that man would not do much good, for he plead up too much for the old boy.
Monday 25th. We preach at Kelly's. The notice was short, but the congregation was large. The people in general were powerfully wrought upon by the spirit of him that raised up Jesus. Some wept and mourned to be redeemed from their bondage of sin and death, and some lifted their voice in praise to him who feeds the hungry and relieves the needy.
There is a glorious appearance that God will convert sinners in this place.
Tuesday 26th. At night having an appointment in Lexington to preach to the young people, I attended, and though the weather was inclement and disagreeable, yet the house was so full that all could not get in, and some had to return home; and it was said their anxiety was great to hear the word of God. This is the way we are to have faith in Christ. Faith comes by hearing, and hearing by the word of God. I addressed them on Ecles. 12, 1. "Remember now thy creator in the days of my youth." I preached with liberty, and thought that God was with me of a truth. I never saw a more solemn audience in my life. Many of the dear young people wept and mourned, and appeared as though they were destitute of a Saviour; but that they were determined to seek him early while he may be found. I was informed that a youth who was remarkable for his impiety and dissipation, observed while I was singing, that he had seen the folly and error of his ways, and was determined for the future, by the grace of God to refrain and amend his life. In this place I was, by one of the friends, presented with a pair of boots, with thankfulness I accepted them, as I felt my need.
Friday, March 1st. I attended an appointment at a person's house who lay sick, nigh unto death. A number of people came together, the most of whom were young people. I addressed them in particular. Their countenances were solemn and their attention great, while I was enforcing the necessity of remembering their creator in their youth. Seeing that the oldest [147] must die and the youngest may; how necessary it is that we should be converted, that our sins may be blotted out when the times of refreshing shall come from the presence of the Lord! While I was singing many of the dear youth wept bitterly. Some of them gave me their hand determined to seek that same Jesus whom God hath exalted with his right hand, to be a prince and a Saviour, for to give repentance to Israel and forgiveness of sins.
Saturday 2d. In the same neighbourhood I held meeting, and spake upon faith, hope, charity, &c. While I was speaking I felt as though the spirit of the Lord God was upon me. Nearly the whole audience were affected in a very deep and sensible manner. Two young women were brought down to the floor with a deep sense of their lost and condemned state. Their cry was the cry of the publication--God be merciful to me a sinner. There were many prayers put up to the father of our Lord Jesus for them. After continuing in singing and prayer till near sun down we had to disperse, leaving the mourners under a deep concern for their salvation. At night, at a few miles distance, I preached again to a large and solemn audience. Powerful exercise was among the people. Some jirked, some prayed, some wept and some sang, while others were rejoicing aloud. There is a great appearance in this place, and round about, of a glorious revival. Lord carry on thy work till neighbour shall not say to neighbour--know ye the Lord; but may all know thee from the least unto the greatest.
Sunday 3d. At night I preached in Lexington. The people crowded into the house till no more could get in, and they continued coming and knocking at the doors; but could get no admittance for the press. Many sought round the house for the windows; they hoisted them and crowded their heads into the windows till they would hold no more. Others had to return home, for they could not hear. While I heard them knock at the doors and saw them wishfully looking in at the windows, it brought to my mind this passage. "And when the doors were shut they shall stand without and knock [148] saying, Lord, Lord, open unto us." The attention of the people deeply affected me. While I was speaking I saw many of my dear, attentive hearers weep, and heard as it were, the deep fetched sigh rise to him who hears the raven's cry, and intimate their need of salvation with groans which cannot be uttered.
Monday 4th and Tuesday 5th. I tarried in Lexington. At night I preached here again. About the time the people began to gather for meeting it began to snow; but the house was crowded with people who waited with attention. They seemed not to have lost their good desires; for the tears came afresh from the mourner, while christians were much engaged in prayer.
Thursday 7th. I preached on Clear creek, at brother Scott's. There were not many people. The neighbours are generally engaged in making sugar. The few that attended appeared to have their strength renewed.
After preaching, a very sensible methodist woman talked with me for information, as she said, upon the doctrine which I held. She desired to be informed how I held the doctrine of the Trinity? of satisfaction (as it is called) and the nature of God? I told her, and after expressing the love of God in as emphatical terms as I could, she said she never saw these things so before. I said, you never saw the character of God so amiable as when you see no real wrath, nor vengeance in him. The situation of man required the death of Christ, and Christ's sole errand was to save sinners. And though Christ was the only begotten of the Father, the Father gave him freely for us. When I view God's nature as everlastingly opposed to sin, which will move him to punish the guilty and be eternally loving to the obedient, which will move him to pardon the penitent and save the righteous, my whole mind is absorbed in the happy contemplation.
Saturday 9th. On my way to Lexington I preached in a baptist neighbourhood; but the notice being short and partial but few came to hear me. But I exhorted those that attended with sweet liberty; and they appeared to feel it. [149]
After meeting I came to brother Allen's, where I met six preachers, who were on their way to a meeting, by some called conference. We held meeting here; but there was little prospect of good. The neighbours here are opulent and proud, and I am afraid they think religion beneath their notice.
Sunday 10th. Brother Dooly went with me to my appointment at Bethel. When I came within a few miles of the place, I heard that Mr. M. had, for a week back, been endeavouring to step my appointment; and had told the people not to attend, for there would be no preaching. But I understand also that a friend or two of mine had been industrious to declare that I would preach there this day. When I came to the place there were not less than five hundred people waiting to hear the word preached. I addressed them on these words: "Comfort ye, comfort ye my people saith your God." I spake with comfort and many of God's people appeared to be comforted, and many mourned because they were not comforted.
Brother D. gave an alarming exhortation, and called upon all those who felt the need of the comfort of God's people, to come forward, "and we will pray for you." About seven came up and fell prostrate with cries to God for mercy. While I saw the poor broken hearted mourners lying on the floor and crying aloud for mercy, my mind pondered upon these words:
"Poor broken hearts why do you mourn,
Like to some lonesome dove forlorn? I am your Saviour, come rejoice, And raise to heaven your tuneful voice." |
At night we held meeting a mile off. The house was so crowded that I scarcely got room to stand to speak to the people. Before I had gone through my subject many of the christians began to rejoice aloud insomuch that I ceased speaking. The shouts of some and the cries of others conspired to make the time and place awful. We continued in prayers and supplications half the night. [150]
Tuesday 12th.--At night I held meeting in Lexington. The appearance was truly glorious. This night the power of God was among the people of a truth. One young woman was taken with the jirks, which was rather a strange thing to many people in town; but it had a solemn effect upon the spectators.
Sunday 17th.--At 10 o'clock I preached in Lexington to a large congregation. There is a sincere enquiry, among many of this place, at this time, what they shall do to obtain eternal life, some are mourning and seeking Jesus.
Their rising sighs and weeping eyes
Express'd their lamentation; And while I did pray some did day, Lord send us thy salvation. |
At night I preached my farewell discourse in this place. About the close, myself and many others expressed our sorrow to part, by the tears which we plentifully shed.
As I was singing these words,
"And when we meet Jesus in the mansions above,
With saints and bright angels o'erwhelm'd in his love, O! there I shall look for these christians that's here, How glad I shall be to meet you all there!" |
many of my dear hearer's eye flowed with tears while some took me by the hand and expressed their resolutions to meet me in the new Jerusalem.
After meeting broke a friend proposed to collect something to bear my expenses while I would preach these glad tidings to people afar off. Though the people did not come prepared for that purpose, they made me up five dollars.
Monday 19th.--A few of the friends in town joined in buying me a neat saddle and bridle of which I stood in need. Many little presents were sent during the day, which I received as evidence of the love of God. In the evening I took my leave of many of the friends who came to see me, as we supposed, to meet no more in [151] the flesh. While I was riding to brother Patrick's in the neighbourhood of Bethel, I reflected upon the dealings of God with me, which caused me to hold meetings so often in Lexington and in the neighbourhoods round. When I first came to Lexington, I had an invitation but to preach in one house, and that a cool one; the people were very wicked, and but few came to meeting; the brethren were few in number, and they cold and formal; one of whom I considered a very great enthusiast, who told me I had better cease preaching till I could preach with power.
These things put together were discouraging to me, and I felt a greater desire to go into another city, or place, than to preach in this. But my horse being so lame that I could not get away, I was moved to try effectually and find whether the people would hear me or forbear. Accordingly, as I have informed the reader, after the second or third time, some of the brethren were stirred up to praise the Lord, and others deeply affected. After this I had invitations to preach at different places through the town. The young people in particular were more or less remarkably affected. And now I hope, many of them have, and will reform their wicked lives. Now, about the time I suppose, I ought to depart to preach the gospel in other places, my horse has recovered his lameness. From this and similar circumstances, I find I should always watch in all things, endure afflictions, do the work of an evangelist, make full proof of my ministry, let the opposition or prospect be what it may. And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God. I now can go on my way rejoicing, knowing that I have set life and death before this people; and many I hope will choose life, that they may live.
Tuesday 19th.--I preached the third time at a man's house who was formerly opposed to religion; but whose heart is now tender and desirous for salvation. We had a solemn weeping time during the meeting. And they sorrowed most of all for the words which I spake, that they should see my face no more. At night I spake to a large audience upon the beauty, propriety and [152] necessity of union among God's people. Behold who good and how pleasant it is for brethren to dwell together in unity.--Psal. 129, 1. The christians appeared to be very happy; and one mourner desired prayer to be made for her.
Wednesday 20th.--At night I addressed an audience who were mostly irreligious. Some wept and mourned aloud and others were solemn. I preached to the same people once prior to this, and though I thought I was doing no good, yet there were eight or nine who were touched with power from on high, and were deeply convicted, and have since confessed that they would break off their sins by righteousness, as I am now informed. This night they appeared to be fully determined, like blind Bertemius, to cast away their filthy garments and arise and come to Jesus.
Thursday 21st.--In the morning, the man of the house (brother Lockrige) proposed to me that if I would go with him to Lexington he would furnish me with cloth for a coat, as I appeared to stand in great need. True, my elbows were out, and like a locust, my coat was split upon the back, which, I suppose, made me appear more like a beggar than a preacher. But I preferred it to a sheep skin, and the primitive christians wandered about in "sheep skins and goat skins, being destitute, afflicted, tormented." I thankfully accepted his proposal. We rode off to Lexington and got our errand and came away immediately. I tarried this night with brother Wm. Linsay.
Friday 22d.--In the morning I took my farewell of the family and started for Cane ridge.
In this day's travel I was overtaken with a tremendous thunder gust.
"The lightning's flash, the thunder's roll;
O! how dreadful to the guilty soul." |
But though I was far from any house to shelter me, I was protected safely by him that is good to all.
In the evening I came to brother Starks'. About nine o'clock in the night it began again to thunder, [153] lighten and rain: it continued the greater part of the night. The thunder was so ponderous and loud that it frequently shook the house, and seemed to make the massy pillars of the earth tremble; sleep, afrighted, forsook our rolling eyes, and fear took hold on every limb; the red flash and the loud clap seemed to come together and threaten the death of every creature.
Saturday 23d.--When morning light appeared, the bellowing creek and branches were seen to impetuously roll along the swimming fence. In the afternoon the black and fearful clouds, with their dismal aspect, were blown off, and an universal serenity ensued. O how like, thought I, the joyful and important hour after destruction sweeps away impenitent and rebellious man, and Christ gathers home his chosen to praise him in the calm sunshine of eternal day.
At night I went with brother S. to his appointment. Some of the branches and creeks were almost swimming; but we crossed them without being swept off. But few people attended. He invited me to speak; I did so, and found it was not in vain.
Sunday 24th.--I preached at Cane Ridge. I felt great peace and happiness in my mind while I was speaking upon the great love of God to sinners. I have reason to believe that many felt resolved to seek him who died for them. At night I held meeting at a private house. I had uncommon liberty in speaking. Some mourned and cried; for they were seeking a risen Jesus, and said where is he? There were several who had the bodily exercise in a powerful manner.
I now rejoiced in contemplating the subject of redemption that Christ died to redeem us from all iniquity, and to purify unto himself a peculiar people zealous of good works. God so loved the word that he gave his only son, that whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have everlasting life. Christ humbled himself and became obedient to death, even the death of the cross. We had gone astray; but Christ hath also once suffered for sin, the just for the unjust, to bring us to God; being put to death in the flesh, but quickened by the spirit. [154]
To shame our sins he blushed in blood;
He closed his eyes to shew us God. Let all the world fall down and know That none but God such love could shew. |
Now God has shewn his own character to us as it shines in the face of Jesus; and he has done all for his vineyard that could be done; he calls up us to repent and be converted. God has also made Jesus the object of faith; and commands us with all authority to believe in the Lord Jesus Christ, and promises that we shall be saved.
These things are written that ye might believe that Jesus is the Christ, the son of God, and that believing ye might have life through his name.--John 20, 31.
Tuesday 26th. At night I preached in the neighbourhood. Here the Christians are much engaged in the service of God. Before I dismissed my subject a wicked young woman began to tremble under the power of God. A man who was sitting near to her observed her exercise before I did, and began to talk to her. She catched a coldness in her limbs and became helpless. When she revived a little she cried in a most lamentable manner, and prayed fervently for God to have mercy on her. The united shouts of christians, and the cries of mourners drowned my voice. And I was happy to see that God was carrying on his work in the manner that was most pleasing to himself.
Wednesday 27th, Thursday 28th and Friday 29th. I held meetings in the neighbourhood to attentive congregations, some of whom were solemnly affected by the operations of the Holy Spirit.
Saturday 30th. Against 12 o'clock I finished reading Watt's Glories of Christ. He argue that the soul of Jesus was in a pre-existent state long before his incarnation. He believes that this soul is the first creation of God, and that this soul was rich and highly exalted, and all the angels were commanded to worship him; and that it was this soul which was made poor; for, says he, the Godhead which dwelt in Jesus could not become poor; he that was eternally, essentially and [155] independently rich, and beyond a possibility of being made poor. Yet for our sakes he, the pre existent part of Jesus, became poor, i. e. that high exaltation which he had before the world was, was humbled, or brought low, and made so poor that it inhabited a body of clay. Jesus said the foxes have holes, and the fowls of the air have nests; but the son of man hath no where to lay his head. He was dispossessed of all his formal radient glories, and was esteemed the carpenter's son; yet God hath highly exalted him, &c. Suffice it, in this place, to say, that I conceive this doctrine to be inconsistent and unscriptural. For there are the same arguments to prove the pre-existence of all souls as the pre-existence of the soul of Jesus Christ. The son of God must have been greater than a created soul.
In the afternoon I rode over into the neighbourhood of Concord. I lodged with brother Hall. When I was at prayer in the family two of them took the jirks. They appear to be in the spirit and life of religion, and zealously affected in a good cause.
Sunday 31st. I preached in Concord neighbourhood to a large congregation. I thought I never saw a people more affected under word of God in my life. Here is the first I ever saw of the laughing exercise, so called. A smile oftentimes is the natural effect of approbation. But this laughing exercise may be heard at a great distance. Not being acquainted with this exercise, one would suppose that the subjects of it were making all the sport and ridicule of the preaching and worship possible. But it is obvious that, like the jirks, it is an involuntary exercise. The most of the subjects of this work at the time, are, I am informed, extremely happy in the love of God. This day when I saw the jirks, dancing, falling down, shouting and the laughing exercise, all going on at once among the people, I thought of the day of Pentecost; for these are not drunken, as ye suppose, seeing it is but the third hour of the day. "But this is that which was spoken by the prophet Joel: And it shall come to pass in the last days (saith God) I will pour out my spirit upon all flesh, and your sons and your daughters shall prophecy, and your [156] young men shall see visions, and your old men shall dream dreams; and on my servants, and on my hand maidens I will pour out in those days of my spirit, and they shall prophecy." Though this may appear to some like confusion and disorder, I know that this was a joyful and glorious day to me. "Shout O! daughter of Zion; behold thy king cometh: he is just, and having salvation."
Having an appointment fourteen miles back in the neighbourhood of Cane Ridge, I left the people shouting and praising God. In going about four miles, a thunder storm threatened me with wind and rain. I stopped in a house till it passed over. I started again and in going four miles farther, another awful cloud met me. The cloud spread its fearful skirts over the whole hemisphere, and seemed to portend sad destruction. The wind whirled and dashed the sportive showers into my face. It appeared that the lightning was without intermission, which illuminated the earth far beyond the transcendency of the sun at noon day. The thunder roared as loud and dismal as though the heavens were rolling together like a scroll. The timber was tall and thick, and the wind lapping the tree tops together, the rain rushing in mighty torrents from the spouting clouds, I was far from the shelter of a house, and almost despaired of my life. Lord save me or I perish. Though several trees were prostrated to the ground close around me, yet God spared me. When I came to the appointment; none gathered for meeting because of the rain. The family felt themselves much disappointed because of the rain, and thought also that many others were.
Monday, April 1st. This morning brother J. Smith took his leave of me. This man has been a great politician, a great commander in the revolutionary and Indian wars, and one of the first explorers of the Tennessee and Duck river countries. He has of late detected the shakers; he has developed their scheme, and shewn to the world that they are "striking at the root of the tree of liberty." And he had for some time been a preacher of the gospel. And as he was in his youth [157] many years a prisoner, among the Indiana and became well acquainted with their language, he has of late been several times to preach to the Indians. He has met with some difficulty among them, and he has had some success. I conceive him to be an eminent and useful man, both in political and religious affairs. He has now seen three score and ten years; his head blooms for the grave, and it cannot be that the Western brethren will see the good old man much longer; but I trust there is a crown of righteousness laid up for him, which the Lord, the righteous judge, will give him at that day, as a reward for all his chequered scenes of misery and trouble which he has felt in this world. It is expected, that as there has been a law enacted through his instrumentality, in the state of Ohio, against persuading to the life of celibacy (which is the leading tenet of the shakers) that shortly there will be another law enacted which will take from the shakers and their children which they are learning to kill natural affection, and inculcating principles upon them which are counter to the spirit of christianity and to religious liberty.
Tuesday 2d. I tarried at this place till this evening, in order that the people might have another opportunity to hear the beardless boy (as they called me.) At three o'clock a large number attended. I addressed them on Deut. 32, 2. with almost uncommon liberty. While I was speaking, the power of the highest overshadowed us. I did not hear such bursts of shouts and see such diversity of bodily exercise as I have at other times; but it was a time of weeping, sighing and groaning for redemption. The hearts of the wicked were melted, and the drooping revived. "Thou, O God, didst send a plentiful rain, whereby thou didst confirm thine inheritance when it was weary. He shall come down like rain upon the mown grass; as showers that water the earth." This prospect animated me, and caused me to speak beyond my ability. My voice shattered and became weak and feeble; but not counting my life dear to me, I continued till I became exhausted, and fell, deprived of strength. "This surely was like one of the days of the Son of Man." I trust that the seed that was sown this day [158] will bring forth some thirty, some sixty, and some an hundred fold. When I was a little restored to my strength, I had to start to my appointment four miles off. There I found a waiting crowd of people. On my way I was troubled with grievous temptations; temptations of a singular nature. When I met the people, my mind was much depressed. I could fix my mind on no particular passage of scripture. My poor heart already felt hard, unaffected and full of unbelief. Lord what is man? A few hours ago I thought I never should feel any more hardness of heart, but always swim in the ecstacy of redeeming love. But now I am at a loss to know what to do, especially I know not what to speak to this people. Lord what shall I do? In the midst of my distress these words came to my recollection; "In that hour it shall be given to you what ye shall speak." With these words in my mouth I rose to my feet as though I could speak with liberty and boldness. But in a few minutes this preciousness was taken away, and darkness covered my thoughts. And I quickly discovered that I spake to the people with cold unbelief on my heart. I broke abruptly off my subject and began to pray. Others began to pray also, and the spirit of prayer was spread over the congregation, till it appeared that all God's people had turned prophets. The exercise, so called, (jumping, dancing and the jirks) seized the people, and awful power was displayed before my unbelieving eyes. The mixing voices of happy christians were heard to sound afar off. About two o'clock in the morning the people dispersed. Various were the exercises of my mind during this time, but chiefly in unbelief.
Wednesday 3d. At night, at brother Henderson's, in the neighbourhood of Cane Ridge, I held meeting. The evening was lowry and threatened rain; but the neighbours attended with freedom. The people were solemn and attentive.
Thursday 4th. In the morning I started for Concord again. But in coming near to a creek called Kingston, to my surprise I heard it was past fording. After some enquiry I was informed that there was a [159] bridge eight miles downward, which was more than the distance out of my way to my appointment. I started for the bridge. I crossed it safely, and came through the town which stands close by it called Millersburg. I then had to go ten miles further, to get to the place which I set out for. Half after two o'clock I met the people at the place appointed, looking and waiting for me. I had great comfort and liberty in speaking to them. Great joy seemed to sun through all the brethren, while some mourned and lamented because of sin. At night a large congregation met to hear the word of the Lord. I took the command of Jesus for the foundation of my discourse: "and say the kingdom of God is come nigh unto you." The power of God was marvellously among the people. One young woman professed a reclamation from her sin. She shouted and sweetly sang the redeemer's praise. She testified that the "son of man hath power on earth to forgive sins." A shout of victory was raised in the camp, which was heard afar off. Here the brethren are forward and appear willing to take up their cross. When we meet together, and any one seems sorry for sin, the brethren will talk free to them and pray for them. This night many of the brethren sang, and prayed, and exhorted, and appeared as though the spirit of God dictated for them. When we broke up I had one miles to travel to my resting place. There were four others in my company who were full of the love of God, and much engaged in religion. On our way we ceased not to talk and to tell of the wonderful goodness of God. About the time we had entered a lane where the mud was deep and disagreeable, one of the sisters was taken with the jirks, and being on her creature I was dubious she would be jirked off, and be much hurt, and perhaps killed; "but I erred, not knowing the scriptures nor the power of God." She was soon jirked from her horse into the mud, and was dashed her full length from place to place, while I stood gazing as one astonished out of measure. By this time two more of the company took the jirks also, and were immediately dashed into the mud. Here we tarried on the ground an hour [160] and three quarters. This was a time of deep reflection with me, thinking what these things meant. Will people who are not wrought upon by power not their own, roll and dash themselves in the mud, and act as though they would kill themselves. I confess I never done so, nor I believe, none will that can avoid it. While I was pondering these things in my heart, God's love made me like the chariots of Aminidab; I found myself swallowed up in adoration, and giving glory to God. When we came to brother Hall's, we sang, we prayed, and rejoiced in a Saviour's love till near morning light. I can truly say that I never experienced such a night of love and joy before.
Friday 5th. At night I held meeting a few miles off, with a large congregation. Being much fatigued and worn out, I gave but a short discourse; but many appeared to feel the word, and made a great noise. The members of society here are lively in religion, and much engaged in time of worship.
Saturday 6th. In the morning I started for Fleming county. It was raining rapidly when I started; it rained incessantly till about two o'clock, so that I became wet and cold. About this time I came to a river called Licken. It was very full. Eight men undertook to bring the boat to my side, and after much toil, labour and danger, they did so. I saw there was great danger in crossing this river; But I ventured into the boat, and about the middle of the river a body of a tree, coming down, struck the boat and caused it to dip water. We were carried down some distance below the landing place before we could get clear of the log. The current was amazing swift and rapid, and the exertion of the hands carried the boat with such rapidity, trying to get quickly to shore, it struck a stump, part of which stood out of the water, and split a plank off the boat and cast one of the hands into the river, and had it not been that we were just running under the branches of a sycamore tree we should have been put to the necessity of swimming, or be drowned; but we caught the branches of the tree and arrived at the shore. This was a fearful, perilous time with me, but I was [161] delivered, by Him in whom I trusted, without receiving injury. This, I looked upon as another instance of God's care toward me, for which I felt very thankful. Late in the evening I took up at one of the brethren's houses, and the family being anxious for meeting, sent out and collected a few of the neighbours. I spake with but little liberty, and the people appeared to be dull and unaffected.
Sunday 7th. In the morning I passed a small town called Flemingsburg. The Presbyterians and Methodists were to have preaching in the place both at one hour, within hearing of each other. I had to pass on three miles further to my appointment. Lord how long will partyism afflict poor Zion? O Lord! when will the wolf dwell with the lamb, and the leopard lie down with the kid, and the calf and the young lion and the fattling together, and the little child lead them? This reformation will take place in the beasts of the forest when Christ shall be king over all the earth; but when will the Presbyterians, Methodists, Baptists and the various denominations, lay aside their distinctions and dwell together in love? Happy are the people whose hearts are prepared for the glorious event that shall take place, "for the watchman shall see, eye to eye, when the Lord shall bring again Zion." I came to my appointment, and but few people met me. This day I truly found that God was not confined to the large congregation; but is near to all them that call upon him. I preached with sweet liberty, and nearly all the people were deeply affected. Some shouted and others cried, so that I could not go through my discourse. Here I saw the power of God marvellously displayed in the exercise of the jirks. A young woman was taken with this exercise, and was jirked from one side of the house to the other, almost in the twinkling of an eye. It was past the power of man to hold her, for several tried to do it, and could not. Sometimes she would be dashed to the floor on her face, and sometimes the back of her head would strike against the benches, the floor, and the wall. I saw that some of the spectators were afraid that she would be jirked into the fire; [162] and to hinder it, some of them gathered round and stood by the fire-side. But in opposition to all their endeavours, she was jirked with her head and shoulders into the midst of hot, burning coals of fire. I conjectured that certainly she would be burned to death. Observe, her hair was jirked loose from her comb, and though her head fell into the fire, the fire took no impression upon it. She was soon taken out by the same power that she was thrown in, and so much as the smell of fire was not upon her garments, or upon her hair. Not a mark of fire was seen upon her face. The truth of the circumstances has been disputed by some; but I maintain it as a well known fact. Three hours was this subject under this uncontrolable power. I was sometimes much frightened, thinking every minute that she would be killed with sudden death. But after this power was off her, she declared that she received no hurt, only at the time when they tried to hold her. At night the people came out and we held meeting in the same place. The brethren in this place are zealously engaged, and appear to be much stirred up in their religious excises.
Monday 8th. I directed my course towards Cabin creek, on Ohio river. In the evening I got out of my way, and was also overtaken by a thunder gust. O! the bright streams of lightning! how they gleamed across the path; and the tremendous thunder bolts almost shook the vault of heaven, and made my heart palpitate with fear; but the almighty being who commands and directs the fierce lightning where to spend its rage, protected me all alone. While the thunder was roaring and the lightning flashing, I was wandering down between two steep and dreadful hills, without a path and without any mortal to guide me, while the black and dismal cloud, pregnant with destruction, overshadowed me. At length, about sun down, I struck upon a small path which I kept till I arrived at the house of one Mr. Bartley. I found him to be a man of religion, and one who was of my own way of thinking. He entertained me kindly, and I was glad to be admitted under a roof to shelter me. [163]
Tuesday 9th. Mr. Bartley and his wife went with me to my appointment, on Cabin Creek. Here I preached with liberty and success. Mr. Bartley's wife is not a professer of religion; but this day she received a deep sensibility of her sins. She mourned and wept and cried for mercy. Nearly the whole congregation were greatly affected. There were a large number all praying at once.
Some were longing for salvation,
Others shouted for final glory; O! what blessed transportation, To hear their pleasing story. |
At night we held meeting at brother Thomson's. We had a happy glorious time. The exercises of the people in this place put me in remembrance of the acclamations which were raised in the triumphant journey to Jerusalem. "And when he was come night, even now at the descent of the Mount of Olives, the multitude of the disciples began to rejoice and praise God with a loud voice, for all the mighty works they had seen. Saying, blessed be the king that cometh in the name of the Lord; peace in heaven, and glory in the highest."--Luke 19, 37, 38.
Wednesday 10th. I preached four miles nigher to the Ohio river. Many were dissolved in tears, while others shouted aloud. Here I saw a person jirked to her knees by a strange power, and could not get from thence for the space of half an hour. Strange to see in what manner some of those people are exercised. At night I held meeting on the South bank of the Ohio River, not far from Limestone, opposite to Manchester. After preaching it was observed that the prejudice of two or three bigots was taken down and carried off by the refreshing shower from the presence of the Lord.
Thursday 11th. I had an appointment on Eagle creek. In the morning I requested a passage across the river; but in vain. The river was rough and boisterous. In the evening the wind hushed his blowing gales, and the majesty of the river was seen in all the [164] calmness that adorns an agreeable temper. I crossed this stream, and made on for West Union, a town in Ohio. As I have now left the state of Kentucky, I shall make a few general observations on it, that the reader may have a better knowledge of the face of the country, produce, &c.
It is well known that the land of some parts of this state is equal, if not superior, in fertility to any in the known world. There are great bodies of level land lying in this state, which produces hemp, corn, wheat, rye, flax, &c. with roots and vegetables, of various kinds, in the greatest abundance. When you would ride through this part of the country and take notice of the growth of timber, and many prominent features of antiquity, such as shells, bones and artificial mounts, you would strongly imagine that it had long since been inhabited. The remains of forts and brick buildings have been seen some feet from the surface of the ground. But the conjectures have been wild and fruitless respecting the nation, or people, who were the first dwellers of this place, or how, or when they were exterminated. No one has ever been known to inform us on this subject.
"In the first settling of these parts (by the Americans) the ground was overspread with cane, which was the rendezvous of buffalos, elks, deer, and other game. This was the cheap and plentiful provision which kept the first enterprising emigrants from starvation. This was the place where the Indiana of different tribes would frequently meet to hunt and kill the game of the woods. It belonged to none of them, neither did any inhabit it. And there were so many wars, and so much bloodshed by the Indiana, concerning it, that it was generally known amongst them by the distinguishing name of the bloody lands.
This has now become a populous part of the United States; many large and elegant brick buildings are seen to stand in different places; large and numerous plantations are opened, lying under a good state of cultivation, which, with its natural grandeur and fertility, conspire to make it the most delightful part in America. There is a city in the heart of these fertile lands, called Lexington, which draws the attention and traffic or all [165] the country round about. The ingenuity of machancis goes on with great assiduity and perfection, not only in this town, but in various parts of the state. The rich provision of nature, and the industry of the inhabitants have almost made every thing plenty, cheap and easy to be had. For a large distance all round Lexington this country is level, but much deprived of water. And water, where there are no springs, is hard to be come at; for it is observed, that there is a solid, limestone rock which continues through the greatest part of the state, and lies from four to six feet from the surface, and in some places it appears naked on the earth. The soil is so loose and fertile, that in times of rain it becomes uncommonly muddy, and, sometimes in the winter season the traveller's horse almost mires in the road. The summer range for cattle and horses make a beautiful prospect. A grass called limberwell and white clover, is spread all over the rich lands, and forms a prospect like a well ordered meadow.
Friday 12th.--I started for Clear creek. When I had rode about seven miles, I dismounted my horse and neglected to hitch him, and he made use of the advantage, and started to run. I endeavoured to get before him, and in doing this he turned to the way I had just came; I made all the exertions I could to catch him; but as there was no house on the road, I failed in the attempt. I followed on till I came to West Union, where I started from, and there I obtained him again. This day I had a muddy desolate road to travel, I passed through a large body of poor, white oak, swampy land. Night overtook me at Newmarket (a small town) the first buildings I had passed during the day. But I had to pass on fifteen miles further to get to my intended place. About one hour in the night I came into as bad a piece of road as could possibly be travelled. Sometimes my horse would most stick fast in the mud, and sometimes I thought my eyes would be torn out with the limbs and brush which severely lashed my face. Being so dark, I was sometimes in the road and then out of it, and thus I wandered and groped along till 11 o'clock about which time I cam to Hillsborough (a town in Highland county) I asked for entertainment--the man was a quaker. [166] He directed me to the tavern. I insisted to tarry with him. He at length granted it. He used me well, and charged me nothing. He shall not lose his reward.
Saturday 13th.--I went on to Brother G. Wilson's on Clear creek.
Sunday 14th.--A large congregation met according to appointment. There were people of different persuasions here, and all of them appeared to be more or less affected, and were made happy in the love of God saying; "It was good to be here." At night the people returned, and we had a comfortable meeting. The people in these parts are not affected with the bodily exercises of the jirks and dancing, &c. But the religious part appear to be earnestly engaged in their profession, and many of those who do not profess religion, are seriously enquiring "what shall we do to be saved?"
Monday 15th and Tuesday 16th.--I rested my horse and employed myself in reading the word of salvation. On Tuesday night I preached in Hillsborough, on Isa. 1. 2. There was a large congregation, and I felt great liberty in speaking to them. Numbers were deeply affected, and the whole audience paid great attention.
Wednesday 17th.--At night I preached at brother Wilson's. Some of my hearers were apparently affected. Three or four appeared to be under deep concern for their salvation. It appears as though there will be a revival in this place.
Thursday 13th.--I was to preach at Gipson's a few miles off. When I cam to the place, I heard that the methodists were to have meeting one miles distant. As their appointment was prior to mine, I proposed to go to their meeting. Some consented to go with me, and others said they would tarry till we would return. The man preached with animation and judgment. His text was Rom. 9, 32. His subject was chiefly made up of observations upon faith. He went through his subject and gave out my appointment; and he and the most of his congregation then came to my meeting. I asked him if the methodists were pleased with his understanding of the subject of faith? he told me they were not; [167] but that he stuck to Wesley and Fletcher's opinion, and the most of his brethren had swerved from what they had started upon, &c. When we came to my meeting, I preached with liberty and union in my heart. The people of God wept and rejoiced, and seemed to be much united together in love.
Friday 19th. I started for the Ohio river again. Though I have not designed that these pages should hold all the various exercises of my mind; yet I think, as there was something so singular passed with me this day, that it would not be amiss to give a true and candid relation of it. This day I was traveling along and solitary road, and I entered into deep meditations about many things. And finally I seriously enquired how the devil became a devil? I thought much upon the old received opinion--that he was once an angel of light, and probably one of the highest order. But I reasoned, if he was once an angel of light, and perhaps one of the highest order, the highest created celestial being was peccable, and of course was not in a secure state. Again, I wondered how sin could introduce itself into the breast of a pure, perfect, celestial and sinless glorified spirit, who was ever in the beatific presence of an undefiled God. I also though that if sin affected the breast of this angel, or angels, while in heaven, and caused them to rebel against their creator, and this rebellion was of such a nature that the Almighty banished them into an endless and irretrievable hell, that it must also affect the habitation of heaven in a similar manner to what it done to our earth, when introduced in Eden. This I found would make a hell of heaven, and I did not know what to think. I endeavoured to recollect if there were any passages of scripture that favored this doctrine. These immediately came into my mind; "And the angels which kept not their first estate, but left their own habitation, he hath reserved in everlasting chains under darkness unto the judgment of the great day."--Jude 6. "How art thou fallen from Heaven, O Lucifer son of the morning? How art thou cut down to the ground, which didst weaken the nations; for thou hast said in thine heart, I will ascend into [168] heaven, I will exalt my throne above the stars of God, I will set upon the mount of the congregation, in the sides of the north: I will ascend above the height of the clouds, I will be like the Most High. Yet thou shalt be brought down to hell, to the sides of the pit."--Isa. 14, 12, 13, 14. This brought me back to think if these passages alluded to the Devil while in his exalted state of bliss, how could it then be possible for him to sin? I then thought of these words;
"Down, headlong, from their native skies,
The rebel angels fell; And thunder bolts of flaming wrath Pursu'd them deep to hell." |
But I though where there is no law there is no transgression, and there is no sin without the transgression of the law. And how a pure spirit, the immediate emanation of God himself, could have a law, or what kind of law could be given, was utterly beyond my reach to comprehend. Then I began to think upon the context of these quotations, and I was ready to conclude that the writers were not speaking of the devil; therefore these places had no allusion to him. The one (thought I) in Jude, alluded to the man of sin, or those who spake great swelling words. And the one in Isa. was speaking of the king of Babylon. For, thought I, if the devil was in heaven, how, with propriety, could he say I will ascend into heaven!--I will ascend above the heights of the clouds!--when he was already in heaven, and far above the heights of the clouds. Then I was at a loss to know where the devil came from. But I thought there was so much business for the devil that we could not do without him; but, thought I, probably there is no such being. Thus I found myself drowning in this maze of thought, and in trying to get out, plunged myself into a deeper sea of difficulty.--I wanted to know what I was myself? whether my existence was real or imaginary? and what would become of me after death? Thus I stopped my horse as being on the regions of despair. I was then too far gone to [169] recollect the goodness of God to me in former times. I could not so much as once think upon what great things God had done for me. I found myself getting miserable, as though the flames of fire were kindling upon me. I thought I saw, and sensibly felt myself sinking into all the horrors of blackness and darkness. I began to cry as though I was given over to the tormentors. But a thought struck me to pray once more to him that is mighty to save; and I cried out with a loud voice "Lord save me or I am damned, and gone forever!" And immediately these precious words sounded to my understanding, "thy God, whom thou servest continually, is able to deliver thee." These words revived me, and I saw myself as brought again from darkness to a gleam of light or hope. I now found myself possessed of my reason again; but all my painful feelings and horrible prospects had not left me. I now began to think of the dreadful state I just was in. I considered it was a great mercy in God that he prevented me from taking my life, though I had no temptation to do it. I then recollected of my pen-knife being in my pocket; this struck fears in me that I would yet use it in the destruction of my life. I, upon the strength of this suggestion, took the knife out of my pocket and cast it a distance into the woods. After this I was severely tempted to think that of all men I was the most wicked. That I should be afraid of myself; that my life was not safe in my own hands. I then stopped my horse, again considering how I should destroy myself; for I concluded that I was not fit to live any longer. I could think of no other way but to go back and seek my knife. I started, but before I had gone far my mind was filled with such dreadful horror and fearful apprehension of death that I stopped and while pondering upon my miserable condition, I thought of these words, "Ye are dead, and your life is hid with Christ in God." I at once thought that God had taken me from the vanities, pleasures and glory of this life, and had crucified me to the world, and preserved me in Christ Jesus to wander up and down the earth to preach his gospel till it would please him to take me away. I then no longer had [170] a desire to make an end of my life; but had a heart to pray to God to save me, and be with me that I might be useful in the great work which I thought he had out laid for me. I then turned back again and went to my horse and rode on my way. But during the evening I was more or less buffeted by the messenger of satan. This evening at five o'clock I had an appointment at West Union. The people collected for preaching. But my mind was not fully delivered from those grievous temptations, and being much confused and embarrassed, I felt much indisposed to preach. I endeavoured to exhibit a few things upon Sam. 12, 24. And though I undertook to speak upon the goodness of God, I was tempted to think that I had never felt it, and all I said was from superficial knowledge, and not from heart felt experience. After meeting, a person in company privately observed that there was something the matter with the man (meaning me.) True, but I tried to conceal it as much as possible. This night I slept but little, and about day light I arose and took a walk to view the firmament and the vast works of God; and while I was walking up and down the street, mourning in my mind as one cast out from God, the merry birds began to raise their songs of praise, all round me, in the adjacent woods, which were just putting out their green. I stopped: I lent an ear, and their mixing notes sent forth such sweet music that I thought surely this is a general song of praise to the author of all good. What, says I, do you praise him for? Were you ever sunk in sin, woe, wretchedness and misery, and now redeemed from that deplorable state? Did ever the heavens open in compassion to you and send the son of God to bring you out of darkness and unloose your tongues to sing forth his praise so melodiously? No. But what has been done for me? all that could be done. God sent his son to redeem me from iniquity. The news were published for me; "For unto you is born this day, in the city of David, a Saviour, which is Christ the Lord." The Lord has done great things for me, whereof I am glad. Thought I, if any creature on earth ought to [171] praise God it is I. Now my mind began to rise, and by this time the sun began to rise and shine upon the tops of the high trees; no cloud to be seen above, but all the visible creation seemed to present the most beautiful and glorious prospect that my eyes had ever seen. Now I was so ravished with the appearance of outward things, and with the peace and happiness that flowed into my mind, that I bursted out in singing a song, and walked towards the house from whence I came out. These were my words,
"When we are rais'd from deep distress
Our God deserves a song; We take the pattern of our praise From Hezekiah's tongue." |
I came into the house, and while the family were rising, with all the raptures of redeeming love glowing in my breast, I struck upon these words:
"I'll praise the Lord both night and day,
From house to house I'll go and pray, And if I meet one on the way, I'll always find some word to say About this heavenly union. I wonder why old saint dont sing, And praise the Lord upon the wing, And make the heavenly arches ring With loud Hosannahs to their king, Who sav'd their souls from ruin." |
We had a happy time together.
This is Saturday 20th. After breakfast I went on and preached at Eagle creek. Here I saw the goodness of God displayed in the redemption of one soul, the conviction of two others, and in happifying God's people. Sure this was a sweet, glorious time to me and to many others that were here.
After preaching I went on and was overtaken by a violent thunder storm, on the bank of the Ohio river. A fierce flash of lightning and a loud clap of thunder [172] scared my horse and caused him to throw me off him; but it happened not to hurt me much. In the fastest of the rain I came to a little cabin and took shelter. Late in the evening I crossed the river and came over to old sister Wilson's, who informed me, that for the sake of her sick daughter in law, my meeting was appointed at her house. Accordingly I went to the sick woman's house; a mournful sight indeed! A woman who had lived in sin and vanity all her life, now upon the verge of an eternal world. Her awakened conscience was preying upon her guilty soul (as she expressed herself) which caused her to utter doleful cries and lamentations. Her dear little ones weeping round her bed, loth to let her go, and her friends crying out--pray for her, made the circumstances solemn. After a fervent engagedness in prayer and a little silence ensued, I endeavoured to hold up Jesus Christ to the penitent, from these words: "He that believeth on me, though we were dead, yet shall he live."
The work of God broke out afresh among the people. The shouts and acclamations and exercises of the people were truly wonderful. It was told me that the sick woman took comfort to her soul from that time; but now whether she is in the church below, or in the church above is unknown to me.
Sunday 21st--At Cabbin creek I met a large audience. People who had long been acquainted with a great work of God told me that this day exceeded any thing they had seen for many years. Sinners who had hardened their hearts and resisted the Holy Ghost thro' the late revival (so called) this day came to their knees and cried aloud to God to have mercy upon them. I suppose there were not less than fifty saints and sinners all praying together at once.
One old man in particular, who had been remarkable for his opposition to the work of God, was this day shewn the error of his way, and was exercised in a very singular manner. He immediately prayed to be filled with that spirit of enthusiasm (as he had called it) which he had so long ridiculed. At night we held meeting again in the same place. The work still [173] increased. Such singular and curious exercise among the people tempted me to think that some of it was enthusiasm. Some danced as perfect as though they were dancing after the fiddle. They would cross their feet and humor the tune which was singing, most nicely. But a rule that I will uniformly follow, is not to judge or condemn a thing I do not understand. We continued together, singing, praying, exhorting and shouting, &c. till near day light.
Monday 22d.--I felt very unwell, though I had to ride fifteen miles, cross the river Ohio again. At night I had an appointment on the N. W. side of the river; but was so unwell that I could not preach to the people. A brother preacher from Kentucky preached to them. The words he spake upon were these: "count it all joy when you fall into divers temptations." In the course of this subject he mentioned the many temptations the child of God would meet with, and among them he said some were "tempted to take their own lives," but they must not despair under these temptations, but "count them all joy." While he was thus speaking, I brought to my recollection the late exercises of my own mind, how near this was the case with me. But I wondered how he should touch my case so well; for I had informed no person of these things. It appeared as though God designed this to be fresh comfort to me; for immediately these scriptures run through my mind; "in all this Job sinned not." And "blessed is the man that endureth temptation; for when he is tried he shall receive the crown of life." "Blessed is he that overcometh; for I will be his God, and he shall be my son."
Tuesday 23d.--This morning I feel much refreshed and revived in body and mind. This day I preached at Eagle creek again. I. Hughs (the preacher that was with me) and I tied our horses together, and as they were considerably wild, we tie them (as we thought) securely; but near the conclusion of my discourse our horses came running by the meeting house, much frightened, and we were under much trouble before we could get them again. I was led to believe that they were untied and frightened off intentionally by some of our [174] opposers. This evening I came to West Union, and found a decent, well behaved congregation, met to hear preaching. I spake upon these words: "Abraham rejoiced to see my day, and he saw it and was glad." The time was comfortable and refreshing to some while others wept because of their sins. After preaching a Presbyterian, in conversation, contradicted me in some things I had said in preaching.
Wednesday 24th. I went to Brush creek, and held meeting with a few well behaved people. The christians appeared to be the excellent of the earth. God was among us of a truth; and we were made exceedingly happy with his love. Two were convicted and cried for mercy.
Thursday 25th. I went some distance up the creek. The land is fertile and level here. Springs of water are plenty. Farms are opening, and young orchards are growing. The little meadows up and down the branches and creeks are green and beautiful. I discover that all the land would make excellent meadow. The people appear to be very industrious and frugal. Near the head of this stream I held meeting. The people seemed to be filled with good desires. At night I held meeting at the same place. The people in these parts come five and six miles to night meeting. A large number attended this night, and many of them appeared to feel the power of truth. I believe there are but two who are under the exercise of the jirks in these parts. The people are not so singularly and powerfully exercised as in Kentucky; but they weep, and cry, and seem sensible of their lost condition, and the brethren shew their zeal by singing, praying and exhorting each other, one by one.
Friday 26th. I went to a creek called Sun Fish. There people here scarcely ever heard any preaching. The appeared hard and impenitent. While I would preach some of them would laugh. I kept on, and they got to swearing. Some swore I preached pretty well, and some swore that I did not. The land that I came through this morning was generally very good. A great many large crab orchards are seen in different [175] places about here. The timber is large--white oak, walnut and poplar. The land that has any improvement here, sells from three to five dollars an acre. After meeting I had to ride twelve miles to an appointment that I had, which was to be at candlelight. The land in this afternoon's ride appears to be tolerably good; but much broken with hills and divided by ridges. This evening, as I was rising one of those ridges, at the head of a large branch, I had a great discovery of the beauties of creation.--The leaves putting out their green--the sun just shining faintly over the hills, the dogwood putting out their bloom, which decorated the woods with a half white. The vallies echoes with the thrilling anthems of distant birds, while those over my head charmed me into a silent pause. Thought I, your notes delight the weary traveller, and welcome him this way.
I described the cooling vallies and running waters with many rising hills. Ah! thought I, you are the pleasant land of an enlightened and highly favoured people. A few years ago you were a wild desert; only once in a while your hollows echoes with the fearful yells of savages, and the dreadful roar of wild beasts. But the scene has altered, and shall still alter. In a few years more your fertile soil shall be well improved and appear in handsome situations, while the gallant sons of the west inhabit your borders and enjoy your blessings. When I came to my appointment I found myself in a valley, up and down which were but four families. They all turned out to meeting, with others from distant neighbourhoods. I was so extremely fatigued that I sat down and taught the people. I saw a gracious appearance--some mourned, and cried for mercy, and lamented their need of a Saviour. There are but few people about here, thinly scattered about here and there; but there are some children of God amongst them. These people have scarcely ever been visited by a preacher before. They are almost like lost and scattered sheep without a shepherd. The hireling, whose own the sheep are not, has never left his salary to seek among those hills to instruct these precious souls into the way of life. O! ye idle shepherds, I need not ask how [176] you can abide at home while souls are perishing? it is your money, your comfortable houses and your soft beds; but I will ask you how will you stand when the blood of thousands shall be laid upon you? "Behold I will smite mine hand at thy dishonest gain which thou hast made, and at thy blood which hath been in the midst of thee. Can thine heart endure, or can thine hands be strong in the days that I shall deal with thee? I, the Lord, have spoken it, and will do it."
Saturday 27th.--I rode 20 miles to Clear creek. After riding about seven miles, I got out of the hills and came into a more fertile and level part. The timber is mostly large white oak interspersed with dogwood. The nature of this land is well adapted, I am told, to the nature of wheat, and will send forth excellent grass. These parts are tolerably well watered with creeks, branches and excellent springs. At night I held meeting at brother J. Kirkpatrick's (a preacher of the christian church) I felt myself much engaged, and had the happiness to see God's people much united. The presbyterians and methodists are friendly in these parts.
Sunday 28th.--I preached at the meeting house in the place, which belongs to the christian church. The people from a great distance attended. There was an outcry of two souls for mercy, one of which, after a short but severe struggle with the pangs of conviction was brought from darkness to marvellous light. Being delivered from the power of darkness and translated into the kingdom of the son of God, in whom she found redemption through his blood, even the forgiveness of sins. She professed to love her Saviour with her whole heart and bursted out in praises to him who had done such great things for her. She now declared she chose rather to suffer affliction with the people of God than to enjoy the pleasure of sin for a season. This meeting closed with the melting showers of grace. Some went off shouting and praising God--some singing the song of the lamb, and some enquiring what shall I do to be saved--while they wept and mourned bitterly because of sin. At night I again preached at Hillsborough. The court house was filled with attentive hearers. This [177] night the work of God broke out in a more glorious manner. There were many under deep distress of mind. There were many who said pray for me. I prayed with them and exhorted them till I was exhausted. Then others exhorted, prayed and sang with the mourners in Zion till midnight. I verily think some of them were enlightened and tasted of the heavenly gift, and were made partakers of the Holy Ghost, and tasted of the good word of God, and the powers of the world to come. Others resolved to persevere in seeking the Lord until they found him. The people about here appear to be remarkably evil and friendly, and many of them are now in a good way to get religion. There appears to be a great reform amongst them, and if preachers of different denominations do not quench the work by talking against heartfelt religion, or by surfeiting their minds with vain opinions, I have a great expectation that many will be brought to the knowledge of the truth.
Monday 29th.--I started for the Sciota country. This day I travelled through some beautiful level and fertile bodies of land. I crossed North Paint (a creek) low down, where it is as beautiful land for farming as can be desired. The growth of the timber here is walnut, poplar, buckeye, sugar tree, hackberry, &c. which are all indicative of the best of land. But one thing I noticed was the creek overflowed a quarter of a mile each side of its banks, in times of high water.
This evening I passed a few small plantations which have lately been opened, on them I saw young but flourishing peach orchards. They are now in bloom, which together with the numerous quantity of singing birds in the surrounding woods, and the black furrow just turned up by the rustic husbandman, makes a delightful scene. This night I lodged twelve miles west of Chillicothe, where there are several farms, in young, but handsome improvement.
Tuesday 30th. In the morning I passed the old Indian town. This place appears like as if it had long been cultivated. It lies on a small creek. The prospect is about two miles long and a half mile in breadth, with scarcely a shrub upon it, of the most rich and fertile [178] soil, admirably suited to the production of wheat and other small grain. It is a beautiful site, with a few small farms now upon it. As I came nearer Chillicothe, the land was still better. The inhabitants here appear as though they live in a decent and plentiful manner. Six miles to the N. of this town, at one o'clock, I held meeting. The professors about here are mostly methodists. They treated me with unexpected kindness; and one of them let me preach in his house. The neighbours generally attended the appointment. Some of them appeared to be very happy, and others seemed desirous to get religion; for they confessed that they were without God, and without hope in the world. After meeting I went on six miles farther to an appointment made for me with a preacher of the methodist connection. The young man gave a discourse which had some gross inconsistencies in it. After he closed, I spake to the people. As I was not fond of public controversy, I let his inconsistencies alone, and endeavoured to preach the gospel of peace. It was a happy time to many present.
Wednesday, May 1st. I had to go several miles to my appointment, which was high up on North Paint. In the morning before I started, the young preacher and I had some controvsery about the new light church. He told one of the company that he never heard a new light preach before. I reproved him for calling me a new light. I told him that was not only a nick name, but a ridiculous one for a member of Christ to be reproached with, and one which I entirely disowned. I said there was no more propriety in it than in the name methodist, and a member of Christ has no more business with these names than the landlady has to bear the name of her servant. You, said he, call me a methodist, and you say it is an equal reproach with that of new light. The difference, said I, lies here--you call yourself a methodist, and seem to glory in the name; I disown and entirely reject the name of new light, and while this is the case, I may esteem it a reproach for Christ's sake. In this morning's travel I first went through a body of land which is called the barrens. [179] This kind of land is suprisingly level and flat, with standing water in many places. Its growth is small white oak, thinly scattered over it. Here you may see the distance of miles without the intervention of the smallest hill, for there is nothing of the kind here. Here is the best of range for cattle throughout the summer. Though this kind of land is called barren, I and told it will produce from thirty to forty bushels of corn or wheat to the acre. When I came near the creek (Paint) I was astonished at the sight of the prairies. Miles up and down the stream, and a long distance on each side, the prospect presents itself without the smallest stick of timber upon it, clothed like an extensive meadow with grass and flowers. I am told that this is the richest kind of land. It will bring forth wheat to almost an incredible increase, and corn accordingly. I held meeting on this creek with a few very zealous christians. The most of the professors in these parts take the christian name. The people appear to be much engaged in religion. What is called the exercise is powerful among this people.
"Now love unites the children and tears away the bars;
They lay aside their weapons, and cease from strife and wars, All with united voices--all join with one accord, Ascribing free salvation and glory to their Lord. The beams of truth revealed pervades the sinner's heart; Aghast they fall and tremble, as pierced with a dart. The earnest cries for mercy sound through the parting skies; The gracious Saviour hears them and smiling bids them rise.' |
This day was like one of the days of the son of man. O! what glorious manifestations of the reign of the king of righteousness! The people in these parts appear as though their whole minds and bodies were engaged in a good cause. And what is more like the work of God in the heart than to see the aged and the young singing, praying and exhorting one another? Here many of the dear little children, from ten to fifteen years of age, are telling and singing the wonders of redeeming love. [180] At night I held meeting at the same place. About the time I expected we would disperse, the work of God broke out in a more miraculous manner. I thought "surely the Lord is in this place. And I was afraid, and I said how dreadful is this place!--This is none but the house of God; this is the gate of heaven."--Gen. 28, 16, 17. Many of the people continued shouting and praising God till midnight.
Thursday 2d. I directed my course to near the head of Deer creek. This day I saw a more beautiful part of the country than I ever saw before. The whole face of the country in these parts is level, comparatively as a house floor. Several times in this day's travel I was actuated from motives of pleasure, to stop and take a view of the wide extended plains. The grass is now, on a level, half a leg high. Spear-grass, clover, and what is called prairie grass, covers the earth, and makes it the best summer range for cattle and horses in the known world. I was delighted with the beauty, fertility and the natural grandeur of the country. A little beyond the head of this creek runs Mad river, which empties itself into the Miami at a flourishing little town called Dayton. Through this extent of about sixty miles lies the most beautiful country that the face of nature can possibly present. Large prairies, and then bodies of the wood land are successive as far as high up on the Great Miami river. In some places of this extent the inhabitants are few and lately settled. In this country they are mostly in what are called settlements. In those places the people are situated close together, whose plantations, or clearings, are generally adjoining to each other. Get out of one of those settlements, and you may travel many miles without seeing one solitary habitation. In these parts water is scarce. You will seldom see one cooling spring, or tinkling rivulet to quench your thirst, or to invite you to its shady bank. Though Mad river runs through a fertile and level country, it is clear and very rapid. All the rivers that run through those parts are clear, beautiful streams. I conclude that these parts are more delightful than the frontiers of Tennessee, but not so fertile. This [181] evening, near the head of Deer creek, I preached to a few plain, simple hearted people. They appeared to be measurably ignorant of religion, and destitute of preaching. This evening, just before sun down, I took a walk into a prairie. There I saw several droves of cattle feeding in different places. In making my observations, I began to contemplate how the prairies came--I found it was beyond comprehension. These prairies are large plains without any growing timber. Some are miles in length and breadth, which form the most beautiful prospect. Round the sides the timer stands thick and grows very tall, this conspires to make the prairies appear more like they have certainly been cultivated. As I retired into the woods the joyful birds were sending forth their evening song of praise, which, with other things, united to make it a solemn and joyful time to me.
Friday 3d. I travelled down this creek about fifteen miles, and held meeting with a few, that is, eight souls, who appeared to be penitent and contrite, and desirous to obtain the one thing needful. For some days my congregations have been small. 1st. Because the neighbors live from three so six miles distant, and probably but very few live in that extent. 2d. Now the men, women and children are generally busy planting corn.
Saturday 4th.--I came to Alkier's meeting house (as it is called.) This was a cold day; for it snowed a little. It was something strange and uncommon for me to see snow when the leaves were fully green on the trees, and vegetation up fit for use. This day I thought I spake with uncommon liberty; but saw but little effect upon the hearers; of course, I was afterwards led to believe that I was mistaken.
Sunday 5th.--A large congregation attended at this place. I thought I spake with but little light or liberty; but the people seemed to feel my discourse, and many of them were made exceedingly happy. The people have the jirks at this place. I saw some of the men jirked off their feet, and with great force were prostrated across the benches, and upon the floor.--The christian church was established here before any other denomination, and [182] no other has succeeded here since. There is a large society of members here, and one preacher. They appear to be in a prosperous state. The most of them have been baptized and others are exercised about it. I am now about to leave this part of the country and direct my course to Philadelphia and the eastern states. For the satisfaction of my reader, I will lay before him the state of religion in the western country (as correct as I can) that he may, at one view, discover what I have given him in sketches. It is generally known that in the year 1800, and till 1804, there was a more glorious revival of religion in the western country than ever was before experienced in America. After this work had progressed some time in the conversion of deists, atheists and many unbelievers of every description, and of almost every age and color of people; many of the presbyterian denomination, and several of the preachers in particular, who had long been confined in the narrow limits of the doctrines of men, began to think upon the more extensive love of God to his creatures, as testified in the scriptures. They would attend their meetings, and see awful power displayed in their congregations--young and old praising God in the highest, and some of their own members singing a new song--declaring that they never felt religion before, and scores and hundreds of young and happy converts inviting the people to come to Jesus--Jesus will receive the worst of you; he will cast none off who will believe in his name. Some thought this was enthusiasm--some said it was delusion--however, some well informed, uninterested preachers of that denomination not only felt the same gracious work, but were convinced that this was the Lord's doings, and was marvellous in their eyes, and who in a short time unanimously began to preach what is called free salvation.
Hundreds of the professors of religion, of the same denomination, immediately embraced the doctrine with every leading principle that is inseparable to it. This gave a general alarm to the presbyteries and synods in different parts of the states. They were fearful that they should lose some of their most eminent clergymen [183] and laymen, unless timely and suitable steps were taken to stop them.
When those preachers assembled at Cane Ridge, came to the christian plan, as first laid down by Christ, the great head of the church, and proclaimed it to the thousands then around them, the hundred and fifties of the children of God, who were groaning for deliverance shouted for joy, and from that day were made perfectly free from priestly power and from all them that would usurp authority over them. Here was a covenant made to throw away all confessions of faith, chatechisms, creeds, rules and disciplines made by man, with a determination to have no bishop, presiding elder, head, lawgiver or king, but Jesus Christ, and to take his word for their rule and government instead of human systems, traditions and inventions of men.--To have no name but CHRISTIAN. Such a meeting and circumstance as this was never before seen or known in all the Western country. I am told that at this meeting there were about thirteen hundred unanimous in these things, and all partook of the Lord's supper together!! From this place several preachers went, with the spirit of the Lord God evidently upon them, being anointed to preach good tidings to the meek, to bind up the broken hearted, to proclaim liberty to the captives, and to the opening of the prison to them that were bound, and to proclaim the acceptable year of the Lord. In this way they preached Jesus whithersoever they went, gathering companies in his name upon the word of God alone. I will observe, that during this time the work of God was glorious in Tennessee, and progressed in a similar manner. Several preachers in that part broke off from the presbyterian order and took the word of God for their government. From what has been said the reader will observe that the work of God spread rapidly; conversions were numerous, while some members of almost every denomination left their old systems and joined themselves alone to the word of God. The prophecy was fulfilling, "One shall say I am the Lord's, and another shall call himself by the name of Jacob, and another shall subscribe with his hand unto the [184] Lord, and surname himself by the name of Israel." Thus the work increased, and spread in a short time through Kentucky, Ohio and various parts of Tennessee. Preachers of the methodist, baptist and presbyterian sects joined them, and all were seen to raise up the standard (the bible) toward Zion. Many young preachers, who were not confined to families, appeared in the work while they travelled from state to state proclaiming peace and liberty to them that were afar off, and to them that were near, while they saw their labours attended with frequent conversions and a daily increase of numbers. From what has been said, the reader should understand that in the space of a few years these people increased into large numbers in different directions throughout the western country. The preachers were not confined to a parish, or to two or three congregations, nor to a four week's circuit, but as it were, they went out into all the world, preaching the gospel to every creature. If I may so speak, the vallies and beautiful plains of the Ohio; the rich lands and rugged barrens of Kentucky; the hills, hollows and levels of Cumberland; the marshy grounds of Duck river, and the large bodies of fertile land, overspread with cane, lying towards the Muscle Shoals of Tennessee;--yea, down into the Mississippi territory, and beyond the great river into the Louisiana, their voices were heard to sound from time to time. Have they not heard? Yes, verily, their sound went into all the earth, and their words unto the ends of the world. For their hearts swelled with such love and desire for sinners, that the borders of the white people and the line of the civilized inhabitants could not hold them. Some of them, not counting their lives dear unto them, directed their courses through the wild deserts into the Indian nations. They there laboured with that success which gave them to know that their labour was not in vain in the Lord, though they had to encounter unavoidable difficulty and distress. One of these men was among the Indians for months, and I believe years, teaching them to read the holy scriptures. In which time he had the pleasure of seeing not only a [185] reformation their heathen traditions to pure and undefiled religion, but an unexpected improvement in English reading among his pupils.
As I have travelled through the greatest number of these places, and have visited the most of the churches, I availed myself of the opportunity of acquainting myself with their doctrine and their order, &c. They have began on the word of the Lord, but it is to be feared that in process of time, they will forsake their first plan and wander off again into the wilderness of human invention. The christians have had a great and marvellous work of God amongst them for several years. It began in a most miraculous manner, and some astonishing instances of the power of God are yet to be seen amongst them, as the reader may know by reading the foregoing part of this week. I am informed that there is not such a general out-pouring of the spirit of God amongst them now as has been; but in many place the Lord is working mightily with them; with signs and wonders following as I have abundantly seen. These people, with joy, may say, "Lord even the devils are subject to us through thy name." But they need not rejoice at this, but because their names are written in Heaven. They have an exercise, as I have said, amongst them called the JIRKS. It sometimes throws them into the fire, into the mud, upon the floor, upon the benches, against the wall of a house, &c. Some that have seen it have said, and some of my readers may also say, that this is the power and work of the devil, or the same spirit that threw the people in the fire in ancient days, and caused them to foam at the mouth and cut themselves with stones; but I think the power by which they are wrought upon is as different as the manner in which the subjects are treated. The subjects of such power in ancient days sustained much injury, which proved that they were vexed sore with a spirit of the devil. But the subjects of this work receive no damage or injury whatever, and the most of them are exceedingly happy when they are thus exercised; which proves that it is the "Lord's doing and marvellous in our eyes." One may ask, can we not have [186] religion and be happy without having the jirks? Yes. And can they not be happy in religion and have the jirks?
The christians in this country appear to be the most happy of any people that I ever travelled among, and their conduct most consistent with the gospel which they profess. Their preachers are generally hard working men, and with their own hands they provide for their own house. But the preachers who travel and do nothing but preach the gospel, the brethren think they should live of the gospel; and where they are able, they are willing to give them a decent support; that is, food and raiment. They have not run into that extreme which some have where I have travelled, that seeing it is wrong to give the preacher a certain salary they will give him nothing at all; for they are sensible that the preachers can no more live upon the wind than they can themselves.
I will close this description in the words of the prophet, "He (God) will swallow up death (with all other opposition) in victory; and the Lord God will wipe away tears from off all faces; and the rebuke of his people shall he take away from off all the earth; for the Lord hath spoken it. And it shall be said in that day, Lo! this is our God; we have waited for him, and he will save us: this is the Lord; we have waited for him we will be glad and rejoice in his salvation."--Isa. 25, 8, 9. Before I leave this state I must also give a more general description of the face of the country, and manners of the people, &c. That part which lies below Scioto river, near the Ohio river, is much broken with hills, and is generally poor, white oak, scrubby timbered land, till you come low down in the state. But about Chillicothe, and north west of that, for many miles, lies a fertile, beautiful part of the country. Some distance up Deer creek and North Pain creek the land is frequently divided into two qualities. The one is called the barrens, which is the highest land; but notwithstanding, it is a low, level, watery, clay kind of earth, generally thinly interspersed with small white oak. I am told that this land will frequently produce [187] from twenty to thirty five bushes of corn to the acre, and more of wheat. The other quality is called the prairies. This land is commonly as level as a house floor, and as black, loose and fertile as a manure heap. No timber grows upon this kind of land, and sometimes not so much as a shrub. The prairies are frequently from three to five miles in length, and from two to three miles broad. Some part of many which I have seen are now in tillage. It is easy land to cultivate; for the farmer has nothing to do but to plough up his ground in March, and by the middle of May the sod will be sufficiently rotted and broken for planting corn. These places, at this time of the year, form the most delightful and rural prospect that ever was presented to the eye. The grass is high and green almost as far as you can see either way, and when a cooling and enlivening breeze of wind arises, it forms a changing colour of beauty, similar to that of a broad bay when it is a little shaken with the wind! Add to this--you may see various droves of cattle feeding in different directions, a distance from you--flocks and sheep bleating to each other, and the lamb skipping and playing with all the romantic pleasure that belongs to their innocent nature. The birds singing in the distant woods, while their mixing notes and thrilling anthems roll along the delightful plains. When you get upon Mad river, and upon Little and Big Miami rivers, the country, if possible, is still more fertile, and better calculated to enrich farmers. Corn and wheat may be raised in abundance, while the latter is carried down the spacious rivers to the New Orleans, and the farmer gets his reversion in money or other articles which will suit him as well. I can only say that this state is the most beautiful part that I ever saw; but there are some disadvantages here, which, in some places, are almost insurmountable.--A scarcity of water and a scarcity of mills. However, water, in all places, may be come at by digging, and in many settlements they have erected what is called horse mills to grind without water. Also, some parts of this state have been sickly; but I am told that where farmers settle and live some years, it [188] becomes much healthier. I have travelled for some time in different parts of this state, in a sickly time of the year, and have heard of as few deaths as any place that ever I was in for the same space of time. When I speak of the inhabitants of this state I must first observe that it has not long been settled by the white people. But within seven years, I suppose, there have been as many emigrants to this part as to any part in the United States. The inhabitants are mostly from Pennsylvania, New Jersey, and some from the New England states, and of late, the Virginians, who have not set their affections upon Ethiopians, flock here; consequently, like in all the western country, there are people of different manners, turns and dispositions in this state. But what brings them into a greater oneness and equality than they otherwise would be, is the constitution of their state, prohibiting negro slavery. No slaves are permitted to come here, and of course there are not so many grades of people as there are in a slave country. The inhabitants are generally industrious, hard working people, much given to farming. What may distinguish the people of this state is their plainness. There is none of that proud, haughty disposition and unnecessary caper which are too frequently seen among the Virginians and Kentuckians, to be seen amongst them. One thinks himself no higher than the other, and the other no lower than he. They may be said to be rough and somewhat uncouth to people of polished manners and refinement; but they appear to be easily pleased, and seem to have a happy turn to be agreeable to each other. I have heard that the people of Ohio were famous for quarrelling and fighting with each other. But I am happy to say, that they are, as far as my knowledge extends, famous for their sobriety and civility. They are not given to such extravagancies in gambling, fighting stealing, &c. as too many inhabitants of other states are; but this may be chiefly owing to their being generally men of age and families. In a word they are a plain, industrious, hospitable people; and, I suppose, the most of them are republicans, for they detest slavery and bondage in every point of view. [189] As this state has not long been settled, there are not many elegant houses to be seen, unless it is in some of their towns--Chillicothe, Cincinnati, Dayton, &c. Their country houses are generally small cabins, and sometimes smoky huts. But shortly this country will make a different appearance. It, no doubt, will be seen with large, conspicuous fabrics, beautiful orchards, handsome meadows and extensive farms.
Monday 6th.--In the morning I prepared to start for Philadelphia. About 9 o'clock, I set off from brother G. Alkiers. When I came to Deer creek it was full--almost smimming; but my horse being excellent for the water carried me safe to the other shore. In going about two miles I lost my way and wandered through the barrens for some hours, but falling in at a little hut I was directed downwards to the Pickaway Plains--presently I came to Scioto river, and forded it with much fear, but without damage, and immediately came into the Pickaway Plains. O what a delightful prospect! O what a beautiful scene presents itself!! I suppose these plains are about six miles in length and three in breadth. Scarcely any timber grows on this ground within these limits. There are two towns upon these plains. The river runs close along the side of the plains and the lowest town is called Jefferson. Great part of these plains are now under good cultivation; a great quantity of wheat is raised here, and I am told that this ground produces from 40 to 60 bushels of wheat to the acre; and though the wheat grows very tall and thick upon the ground, it never lodges, but comes to the greatest perfection. From this place I directed my course to New Lancaster (a town.) About dark I arrived there. The land through the greatest part of this day's travel appears to be very good, but uncommonly low, with standing water upon the greatest part of it. It is well timbered with some large white oak, poplar, buckeye, white ash, maple, hackberry and an amazing quantity of sugar tree. Scarcely any inhabitants live here, only those who have settled upon the road. New Lancaster stands on a handsome situation. A small stream of water comes down on the south side with a large [190] marsh, and runs to the west end of the town and opens into a beautiful prairie. In sight of the town, north east, rises a few high hills. The inhabitants are healthy, lively and brisk, which variegates the scene and charms the rustic as he walks along into anticipating delight.
Tuesday 7th.--I made my way for Zanesville, on Muskingum river. In the morning, in going about seven miles, I came into poor, broken, hilly land, and saw but little good land the remainder of the day. In the evening about 5 o'clock I came to Zanesville and gave out preaching to be holden in the court house at candle light. A tolerable number of people met me. They were attentive, some wept and appeared to be solemn. I gave out meeting to be at 10 o'clock on the next day in the same place.
Wednesday 8th.--In the morning a man who was a methodist came to the place where I tarried. He talked as though he was not a stranger to the kingdom of God, which is of "righteousness, peace and joy in the Holy Ghost." I found him to be a warm friend to me before I left the town. At 10 o'clock we repaired to the court house, where I again preached to a decent, well behaved congregation. After I dismissed the people and came out of doors, a man presented me with three dollars which he had gathered from the people for the purpose of bearing my expenses.
I tarried this day in town, waiting for a brother preacher living in Kentucky, who I expected would travel with me as far as New Bedford (a town) in Pennsylvania. In the evening I crossed the river and came to Springfield a town opposite to Zanesville, and preached in the methodist meeting house, to a decent, attentive people.
Thursday 9th.--As the man whom I expected did not come yesterday, this morning I started on my journey alone. This day I rode about forty miles up and down the hills, through a poor, barren soil. I am now much fatigued; but I am in a house of good entertainment in a small village.
Friday 10th.--I rode all day, crossing many hills [191] and little creeks, About sun set I was descending a long steep hill, and at the foot of the hill stood a small cabin in which a family resided. And as I came in sight of the house, a man came out of the door and happened to look up the road and saw me. The appearance I then made, having a large, elegant horse, a new saddle, bridle and saddle bags, &c. seemed to demand his attention. He looked at me for some time and then ran into the house. In a few minutes I saw him come out of the door again, having a gun in his arms. He then not so much as looked towards me, but started in much haste down, back of the house, through a long, narrow field where corn had grown the last year.
At this, I was struck with unaccountable fears that the man designed some mischief against me. However I kept my gait down round the field. I found the lower down the field the man went the nigher he came to the fence, or road where I was. And when I would go fast he would go fast, and when I would go slow he would go slow also. About the time I came to the corner of the fence, where the road entirely left it--he came up to the fence and climed it, having me about ten steps before him. I then involuntarily looked back and saw him sitting on the fence. This frightened me so that I stopped my horse, or rather turned him and looked at the man. This I done to let him know that I was suspicious of his design, and if he meant to kill me, to do it boldly, and to take a fair fire at met. Thus we sat for some time, speaking not a word. He then jumped off the fence and took across the road through the bushes, and soon got out of my sight. I then went on my way still thinking what this could mean; for I knew it was then getting too dark to be in pursuit of any wild game.
In going about a quarter of a mile I came to a large creek where it began to be a little dark. Coming into the creek my horse jirked his head down and began to drink, and before I had time to rein him up, I heard a noise like as if a gun had snapped but a little way up the stream. This alarmed me more than ever, and I whipped up my horse with great speed, knowing that it was imprudent in time of such danger to let my horse drink; [192] for such an opportunity would certainly be availed by a murderer, knowing that he might easily shoot off the unsuspecting man into the water, leaving little or no sign of his cruel and unnatural crime. Getting over the creek, I had to ascend a short, steep hill, and when I arose to the top I saw the same man walking down towards me, having me still a little before him. This, you may be sure, was a frightful, trying time to me, according to the appearance of the man's conduct. I then fully expected in a few minutes to be in eternity, unless the devil should be rebuked. And what was worse, to be murdered, and to be murdered far from my native home, and far from a friend to carry the news to my relations how I was overtaken by a cruel monster. I then thought as I could but die I would give myself up, or rather fall upon a scheme, which, if God approved, might work my salvation.
i immediately halted and dismounted my horse and gave him a stoke with my whip and sent him off in a trot. Then I knew if the man would shoot down the horse for the money which he might have thought was in the saddle-bags, that I could make my escape. And if he shot me down, he would certainly kill me for nothing; for I well knew that it was impossible for a stranger to take my horse on the road unless they would shoot him.
While my horse was going on I made up towards the man, and exclaimed, "O! friend come this way." With that he stopped. I then exclaimed again, "O! friend come this way, for I am like to be in distress." He then advanced toward me, and I saw that he began to be afraid of me. My fears were then renewed; for he might kill me, thought I, through fear that I would kill him; for it was then so dark that I might have had a pistol secreted and he not see it. I then cried out "suspect no danger; for, as a stranger, I will tell you my situation, and make some enquiry of you." "Friend I have been a journey, far back into the new country, and have a long distance before me; and my money is all run out but about a half dollar. Can you direct me to a religious friend's house where I can get [193] entertainment all night gratis?" He then set his gun down and began to talk. He told me, the first house was about seven miles off, and that they were religious people. I told him I thanked God for that, and that I would try to tarry with them. He told me I could. Thus we talked a few minutes, and he observed that he was in a hurry and must go. So he came down into the road, and he took one end of it and I the other. Soon as I was out of his sight, I ran to overtake my horse; for I did not know but the man might try to take him before I did; notwithstanding he started the other way. However, in going about one mile and an half I saw my horse going on. I came up to him and drove him on as fast as I could run; for I still feared, greatly feared the man--but I still thought that he should not take us both. Thus I drove on my horse till I could run no more. I then caught my horse and rode him on a full stretch for some considerable distance. And what was to my advantage, as I thought, the rode kept a tolerable straight course.
In going, as I thought, about ten or twelve miles, I came to a house, which I saw was a tavern; but it was nothing like the description the man gave me, and I found that the people were not such as he informed me of. But I went in and tarried all night, and felt extremely thankful to God that he had delivered me from an unreasonable and wicked man; and, as I then thought, and still think, from the hands of one who designed to kill me. I made some indirect enquiry at the tavern into the character of the man who lived at such a house, and found that it was very suspicious. It was told me that two men had been murdered in the very place where I had suspected to lose my life.
Saturday 11th.--Early in the morning it began to rain, and in a few hours I became very wet, and in this situation I travelled while the rain was constantly pouring upon me till about three o'clock in the evening, about which time I took sick and called in at a tavern and had some warm tea given me which did he much good. The landlord was a young man, lately married, whose wife's sister was here at the time. The two [194] women soon fell into free conversation with me--but mostly about religion and deceptious professors. I found they were brought up presbyterians. One of them began to speak very hard of the methodists. I asked her if she did not believe the methodists were a good people. With a scoffing tone, she said "not many," for (said she) "I have an aunt who is a methodist, and one whom I thought I could confide in, if in any body. But I know how she lives, and when she goes to methodist meeting it appears that no one is as good as she is, and in class meeting I have heard her tell some of the plaguedest lies that ever I heard, and I am apt to judge the others by her." I observe that probably they were not all so, and she might deceive herself by judging hastily. I then asked her what she thought of the presbyterians? The presbyterians! (said she) they are the best people that ever lived; they are so orderly, so decent, and so moral and so every thing. Said I, you discover the same disposition which you ridicule in the methodist. Get with them and they will say there is no such people as they, and no other people have any religion at all. I discover (said she) that you have a warm side for the methodists. Said I, as warm a side for them as for the presbyterians, equally alike. And from a quotation of scripture which I then made use of, she said, you are very abrupt, and you might talk with more decency if you have no religion. I said I make use of scripture expressions.
While they were preparing dinner for me, the same one asked me if I was a methodist? I said no. She asked me if I was a presbyterian? No. Are you a baptist? No. Are you a professor of religion? Yes. I do not believe you, said she. You talk very abrupt, said I. Well, said she, I will know at dinner whether you are a religious man or not; for if you are a good man you will surely say grace.
However, dinner came on and I sat down and began to eat without saying grace, as they could hear. After eating a little while I asked her if it was put out of dispute with her that I was not a religious man? She answered, I very well know now that you have no religion. [195] Well, said I, do you not think that I could preach? Preach! said she, you can preach about as much as I can. I asked he if she would be willing to hear me try? O yes! I would, she answered. Well, said I, as to morrow is Sabbath, if you will grant me the privilege of this house, and have the people sent for, at twelve o'clock, I will try what I can do at it. Indeed, said she, you shall have the house, and with that ran into the room where the landlord was, and told him to send out for the people to come in to-morrow to preaching. He (the landlord) appeared to be as fond of the joke (as they thought) as the young woman was, and immediately sent off a boy to alarm the neighbors. After I knew the boy was gone, I asked her if she thought I was in earnest? Whether you are or not said she, we are, and you will have to try. Try what?--do you think I can preach, said I. No, said she. Why did you send for the people then? do you want me to deceive them? said I. No: but I want you to deceive yourself, she answered. Very well, said I, and broke off the conversation. In the night the boy came home, having alarmed a number of the inhabitants, leaving word at every house to send word to their neighbors that preaching is to be to morrow at the tavern. Now (said the young woman) are you not sorry? Not much, said I. About the time they were going to fix me off to bed, I observed that I would pray with them, if they had no objection. This appeared to alarm them--however they joined with me in prayer. After we arose from our knees, I discovered that the young woman who had conversed so freely was in tears. I exhorted her to look to "him who is able to save them to the uttermost that come unto God through him, seeing he ever liveth to make intercession for us." After some time she said that she was sorry for what she had said to me; for, said she, "I perceive that thou art a teacher sent from God."
Sunday 12th.--In the morning I arose, being well in health and much comforted with the spirit of God, and soon bursted out in singing the following words: [196]
O! Jesus my Saviour, I know thou art mine!
For thee all the pleasures of earth I resign. Of objects most pleasing I love thee the best; Without thee I'm wretched, but with thee I'm blest. Thou art my rich treasure, my joy and my love; No richer possess'd by the angels above. For thee all the pleasures of sense I'll forgo, And wander a pilgrim despised below, &c. |
At 12 o'clock a large congregation had collected. Before I began to preach there was great enquiry about what profession I was of. No one could tell. I preached upon Rom. 8, 34. I had sweet liberty and comfort in speaking, and toward the conclusion, when I addressed the young people, many of them melted into tears, and the young woman before alluded to, prayed for the Lord to have mercy upon her! This disturbed some of the old orderly people, and one went out of the house and said I was a noisy methodist. I corrected his mistake. After preaching was over, some of them talked about raising a collection of money for me. They began to whisper to each other respecting it. One said, if I knew he was a seceder he should have a large collection. Another said, I believe by his preaching that he is a presbyterian, and he ought to have some money. Another said he is a methodist, and she shall not have a copper. Said another that will never do. So, as they could not agree among themselves as touching this thing, I told them that I had freely received of the Lord and I have freely given; and that they need not dispute about their money, for I wanted none of it.
Monday 13th.--I started on my journey again, and about 8 o'clock I came to Cannonsburg (a town) and put up at a son of old brother J. Smith of Kentucky. He was glad to hear from his father, and kindly entertained me two days gratis.
This evening I has the privilege to preach in the college house which belongs to the presbyterians. In the evening before meeting came on, when the people heard that there was a clergyman come to town (as they call the preachers about here) I underwent the strictest [197] examination that I ever before experienced. In the first place a sensible, well informed old man, of the presbyterian order, began to enquire of me into my character, and where I received my education, and how long I was educated; for I appeared to be so young that I must surely have come out of the college sooner than is common. By way of answer, I first asked him it if was come to go to a horse thief to get his own character; for, said I, if I am an imposter, or a bad character, it cannot be supposed that I would tell you so. He then asked me for my credentials, as he called them. I then pulled out my bible and told him that was my credential. He asked me if that was all I had! I told him that this credential had the signature of the great head of the church, and was sealed with his own blood, and I thought that was sufficient.
He then asked me how I obtained license so soon to preach? I told him because I was put to school very young, and made such a smart proficiency that my master thought I was able to proclaim liberty to the captive; and he did not give me license, but a command to go out into all the world and preach the gospel to every creature. And who is your master? said he. Ye have one master, even Christ, said I, and his orders I now obey. Said I, it is wrong to question an ambassador of Jesus Christ in this manner; but I feel it my duty to ask you a few questions. My friend how were thine eyes opened?
The manner in which he answered this question gave me to believe that he had been with Jesus to learn of him. From this, we had great happiness in conversing about the things of God. This man took me to his house and used me well. At night there were a tolerable number of people came to meeting. This congregation would not sing any thing but "David's Psalms." My preaching was too warm for many of them; but I have reason to believe that some discovered the error of their ways, by the tears that were so plentifully shed. After meeting I went home with a clergyman, who I took to be a man of deep piety and of great excellence. We conversed freely about the dangerous nature of party names, and of so many different denominations in the [198] world. We also agreed in seeing the necessity and propriety of all the professors of religion being called by one name--and CHRISTIAN certainly is most appropriate for them.
Tuesday 14th.--I tarried in this town, and preached at night again. During this day there were several gentlemen came to talk with me about my profession--christian. It appeared altogether strange and uncommon. It was also reported this day that I was an universalist. I was asked if this was my sentiment? I answered that I was not an universalist, calvinist, arminian, socenian, arian, trinitarian, presbyterian, methodist, baptist quaker, &c. &c. But I am a christian. If you desire to know the doctrine which I hold, you may find it contained in the old and new testaments.
Wednesday 15th.--In the morning I started on my journey again, being recommended to a methodist preacher, a merchant in Pittsburg, a city about seventeen miles from this place. About eleven o'clock I came to this man's store, and introduced myself to him under the character of a minister of Christ. He asked me a few questions. I answered him as near the gospel as I could. I then asked him a few respecting an admission to preach for them. I found that he was cool. He then invited me within the counter, and walked to a private corner and pulled out of his pocket a small sum of money (I suppose about five quarters) and offered it to me. I refused to take it, and told him I did not desire his money for nothing. But he told me that I was travelling and would stand in need of it, and rather intimated that I had better take that and go on. I then told him at at Cannonsburg I was recommended to him as being a warm friend of religion, and if any person in Pittsburg would receive me to preach it would be him--accordingly I have come and have tried you, and you seem to refuse, and my master tells me "whatsoever city ye enter in and they receive you not, go your ways out of the streets of the same, and say, even the very dust of your city which cleaveth on us, we do wipe off against you." You have evidently refused to receive me; I will now [199] take your money to bear my expenses to another city, and I will go out into the streets and shake off the dust for a testimony against you. So he gave me the money and I started, and as I was walking out he called to me and said I had better tarry all night. But I made him no answer, not so much as to look back. I shook the dust from my feet in his sight for a testimony against him, and mounted my horse and started on again.
At night, about twenty miles from Pittsburg, I put up. While I was at supper there came a merchant from Cincinnati, who was then directly on his way to Philadelphia. He was a man of friendship and gentility.
Thursday 16th.--We rode together all day.
Friday 17th.--I crossed a mountain called Chesnut Ridge. Upon this ridge I saw the once great general St. Clair. In the evening I came to Bedford (a town) and held meeting in the court house. I saw but little success, and met with no encouragement to tarry certain days.
Saturday 18th.--I came over the last of the Alleghany mountains. For two or three day's travel in these mountains, the trees are as dry and barren as in the dead of winter. The weather is cold here at this time.
I will inform the reader, that on Sabbath, the 19th of May, 1811, I passed over the last mountain which separate what is called New from Old Pennsylvania, and came into the old settlements of the state, where I saw grand improvements and a beautiful part of the country.
For two or three weeks past my mind has been seriously exercised and much engaged upon the subject of Baptism. I have been led to enquire into the validity and scripture authority of what had been performed upon me under that name. While I was in the western country I was frequently attacked upon the subject and told, as I professed to take the gospel of Christ for my rule of faith and practice, that in that point I was found inconsistent, and that I had not conformed to that practice as laid down in that book, and though I defended the subject in the manner I had received the ceremony, yet I always found myself destitute of a single passage of scripture to support my argument, and had only to [200] reason from analogy, in the manner I had been persuaded. As I was now more fully convinced of the necessity (according to my profession) of being consistent with scripture, to believe and practice nothing but what that word would afford plain, ample and sufficient evidence, I was led to conclude that which I had received for baptism was not according to the first impressions made on my mind by the same spirit by which I was born of God; nor according to the scriptures of truth, but only an invention or notion of man. I now saw the danger and delusion of being led by man without attending to the written authority of the word of God. My mind was now altered and I believed the subject as I first did after I was converted to God. I was now determined, as I could find no scripture for sprinkling and pouring in baptism, or that little children were received (before they could believe) in that ordinance, to recant the sentiment, and receive it, the first opportunity, in the manner the apostle directs, by being buried with Christ in Baptism. I was aware, when this would come to light, of much of the persecution which would arise, as I had argued in favour of sprinkling and in favour of pouring; however, establishing my resolution on the word of God, by his grace I would obey his directions and patiently bear what might follow.
I now went on my way for Philadelphia, and on the 24th I arrived in that city. I had understood there were a number of believers who had taken the word of God, for their rule and government, and Jesus Christ for their chief shepherd, whom, as such, I esteemed my brethren, in the place; but when I arrived I knew none of their names, but their preacher (R. P.) and by much enquiry I found he had moved out into the country. I then knew not of a friend to enquire for, nor an acquaintance to go to, but providentially, I was directed to put up at the house of Esquire H. where I found a kind reception, and who was an influential member of those I was seeking. I was soon informed they had a house of public worship, at which I was requested to preach that evening. Before meeting came on E. S. and J. G. two preachers, came from New-England, [201] under the christian name. At candlelight we all repaired to meeting, where I found a large audience. I felt much comfort in speaking to the people, while some wept and some were much comforted. After preaching J. G. in private conversation contradicted, very abruptly, some points of my discourse, which cause some altercation on both sides, in which he became so exasperated that I found but little friendship from him afterwards.
Friday 25th. I became acquainted with most of the brethren, and found them to be zealous, godly people, full of love and friendship, generally having a consistent and penetrating understanding of the scriptures and of christian union. At candlelight E. S. preached to a large and attentive assembly. The novelty of this doctrine and the keen sarcastic wit with which his discourse was redundantly filled, could only excite attention without impressing much deep and lasting solemnity upon the mind. I found him a man of brilliant but very curious and singular genius, whose satire was always pointed at the corruptions of sectarian churches and the unscriptural traditions of men, better calculated to raise their prejudice than to convince them of their errors.
Saturday 26th. I preached in the same house to a congregation who were serious and solemn. Some wept and appeared convicted for their sins, while others were comforted, built up and established in the most holy faith. The brethren were much united and manifested that love which distinguishes the disciples of Jesus. This night we were encouraged to believe the Lord would revive his work amongst us and cause many to see the true light which scatters and drives away all the darkness of prejudice, bigotry and partyism.
Sunday 27th. At 6 o'clock in the morning I preached in the New Market to a large audience, who were attentive and some were seriously affected under the word preached. Two souls were cut to the heart by the sword of the spirit, which is the word of God, and shortly afterwards were brought to the knowledge of their sins forgiven, were baptised and joined the company who were rejoicing in the glorious liberty of the [202] gospel. At 10 o'clock I preached again in the meeting house called Mount Zion. The Lord attended the word with power to the hearts of the people, as there was a general weeping among and an earnest enquiry with some what they should do to inherit eternal life. This was a joyful and happy time to the brethren, as they saw and felt the God of Israel had not forsaken them. At 3 o'clock and at candlelight I preached at the same place, where we saw the glorious effects of divine grace manifested upon the people and were convinced the Lord was in the place and that he had visited his people.
I now made my exercises respecting baptism known to a man who professed only to take the scriptures for his rule and Jesus for his king, and who had received regular ordination and had been baptised by immersion by one who believed in the mode. I desired him to baptise me in that way, if his baptising me would not attach me to his party. He told me he would baptise me as a member of Christ's church, and not as a member of any party among men. Accordingly, in the first week in July, 1811, he lead me down into the river Schuylkill and baptised me in the name of the Father, Son and Holy Ghost, by burying me in the water and thence leading me out again. I felt much joy in my heart in obeying this command of my Saviour in the presence of a numerous concourse of spectators. As I had strong impressions of mind, and as it is well known the scripture is expressed in this mode of baptism, I consider this sufficient apology (without entering into farther argument) for my submitting to this ordinance, in this way.
I continued in the city till July 9th; during which time I preached almost every evening and saw some deeply affected and sincerely engaged for their salvation and the brethren happy in the Lord. On that day I was, according to the rules of the New Testament, regularly ordained an Elder and Preacher of the gospel, by the laying on of the hands of two regular ordained Elders, was set apart to officiate in all the duties and ceremonies of Christ's church, in the court [203] house in the presence of a large assembly, having the approbation of all those who called themselves Christians and had taken the word of God for their church government.
July 10th. I left the city and went into the great valley, where I preached frequently in different places, and met with a number of kind friends and zealous Christians. While in this part I understood a methodist preacher, in one of his sermons, preached very hard against me and zealously warned the people against hearing me, telling them that I denied Jesus Christ, denied the operations of the spirit of God, denied the atonement, the immortality of souls, the punishment of the wicked and the resurrection!!! Though at the same time he had never heard me, had never seen me. This gave me to think if preachers will take the liberty, contrary to scripture, in their sermons to leave the gospel and communicate public opposition and persecution against an innocent man, they should have their knowledge correct, and not from evil report, or far fetched hear-say, nor from the impulse of a wicked disposition. His warning only moved the people the more to hear me, and when the assertions were found to be groundless the evil fell upon the one to whom it belonged. O when will preachers become so holy and uninterested, that when they see one casting out devils in the name of Jesus, though he followeth not with them, they will not forbid him. Not till party is dissolved and Christ is all and in all. Then, and not till then, will persecution cease; for while party exists there will be party-men who will ever feel it their duty to build up and promote their own party; while they will be equally rigid in trying to pull down and destroy that which differs from them. But the time shall come when we shall all delightfully labor together in one cause, mutually rejoice at the success of each other as brethren, dwell together in unity and love. Then Christ
From this part I went on into the state of Delaware; in and about Newport I preached several times, while more than common success attended my labors in the Gospel. I visited many of the houses, exhorting, singing and praying with them by day and by night. Some were brought under severe conviction for their sins and to the knowledge of their condemnation and guilt, crying for the Lord to be merciful, while others rejoiced in the Holy Ghost which was given unto them. Some of the Methodists appeared to be convinced that the scriptures were an all-sufficient Rule to govern the children of God, and the only one upon which they could unite, and gave great professions of friendship to me and intentions to fall into a general union. I preached several times in their meeting house to large audiences, where the people were divinely impressed with the weight of my message. The truth appeared to prevail and the work of God seemed to revive and prosper.
About the last of July I visited the neighborhood of Newark. Here I found a preacher who had once belonged to the Methodists; but, as he said, for arbitrary measures, he and some others with him, had left them. His doctrine was still the same, and he still retained an idea that is was necessary to have some rules and written laws, in addition to the scriptures, to regulate and govern the church. I told him this would make another party, and if a human system was necessary to [205] to govern and bind the church together, he would have better remained with the methodists, for their rules were as well calculated to promote and cement a part as any that could be invented. I endeavoured to inform him that the name of Christ and the scriptures were alone sufficient for the people of God, and well calculated to swallow up all party names and to destroy all the divisions in the church. I preached in his house to an attentive people, some of whom appeared to feel the word. Others were careless and unaffected. The preacher approbated the doctrine, but was not convinced of the Lord's plan of Christian union. From thence I went on to Chritiana, (a town) Elkton, Charlestown Susquehannah river, about Havre-de-Grace, where I preached to large and attentive assemblies. There were some appearances that my labor was not in vain, as some were brought to pray and some professors seemed to be comforted and manifested brotherly kindness and friendship to me. In one of those places it was observed by some that they thought, from my preaching I was a Republican, and if they were sure of it, would drive me off. As to politics I had said nothing neither on the one side nor the other, as I considered the subject unsuitable to the pulpit and too worldly for a preacher to engage in. But if my sentiments in a political point of view (without saying a word upon the subject) were taken, agreeably to my views on church government they would most certainly be republican throughout. For in the government of Christ, given to his people, I consider there is a perfect equality as it relates to power. And though there are different offices in the church, such as Elders, Deacons, Stewards, &c. yet none can arrive to, nor act in those offices only by the approbation and free consent of the whole church; which leaves them as destitute of power as the weakest and smallest of their brethren. "Among the Gentiles, or nations of the earth they exercise authority over them but it shall not be so among you (said our Lord) for ye have one Master, even Christ and all ye are brethren."
From thence I went on delivering my message in [206] several places till I came to Port Penn, a town on Delaware river. At this place I preached to the people with uncommon liberty and much joy of soul. They gladly heard the word and some felt it to the conviction of their sins and some to the consolation of their hearts. Though it was thought strange by some that a man should be a preacher and belong to no society, notwithstanding I professed to belong to the church of the first born, whose names are written in heaven, and all the faithful of God were my brethren. Thence I crossed the river into Jersey, and after holding a few cold, and, by appearances, unprofitable meetings I returned, and held meeting again in Port Penn. Though the people here have only been acquainted with the human systems, commandments and forms of man, as generally inculcated among the different denominations, and have been brought up to regard their own society as orthodox, while they look upon the others as being deceived; yet when the necessity of Christian union, the danger and impropriety of different denominations opposing each other were declared to them, many soon appeared to have their eyes opened to see these things in their true colours. This was another evidence, that if preachers were to give up the interest of their parties, were to labor against sectarian principles and teach different societies to love one another, the people would soon lay aside their prejudices and be united together; then would all men know that they were Christ's disciples, then would they know the work was to God, and not an imposed scheme of carnal case and interest. Then would they believe in the Saviour, and while their infidelity would vanish their songs of redemption would abound. O for the grace of God to shine from on high to enlighten, and his love purely and truly to influence the hearts of faithful persevering men, who may be patient and firm in all the attack and oppositions of sectarians, while they go forth wise as serpents declaring the truths of heaven without respect to persons, or to parties; harmless as doves in their walk and conversation shewing their divine mission; bold as lions to fear nought on earth that would threaten to devour them; [207] patient as lambs to endure tribulation, to suffer long the falsehoods, slanders, persecutions and all manner of evil that might be spoken against them, and thus shew the world a pattern of love and of good works in bearing their testimony against bigotry, partyism and divisions, while the love of God flows in every sentence of their discourses. Then would religion shine and be esteemed, while bigotry, superstition and tradition would be ashamed and disappear. The truth would soon become so strong that all the gates of hell could not withstand it. For this cause would I be stripped of worldly riches and deprived of its pleasures; and, as a despised stranger, travel from east to west; be exposed to, and endure the united opposition of partisans; yea, that I might be instrumental only in a small degree, in bringing people to the knowledge and practice of true religion I would sacrifice my worldly interest and be counted the off-scouring of all things.
From this place I returned to Newport. Here I baptised a man who had formerly been a Presbyterian, in the presence of a large congregation. Prejudice and persecution now began to rise in this place against me. It was now said I intended to introduce a new society and destroy the old ones! After baptising I preached to the people. There was a great weeping and a glorious effect seen among them. On the next evening I had an appointment at the same place to preach to the young people. A large audience attended. There was great attention and solemnity among them. Several young people were brought to see the exceeding sinfulness of sin and constrained to pray for pardon; two of whom were shortly afterwards converted and made happy in the son of God. Some of the grey headed sinners were also brought to weep bitterly and desire to be saved. This was a night of thanksgiving, praise, praying and crying to God; a time not to be forgotten. Staying a few days in this place and its vicinity, preaching once or twice every day, I saw a great prospect of a glorious revival and success of divine truth. A number of the Methodists were friendly and determined by profession to be free, not only of [208] prejudice, partyism and division, but from the rules and commandments of men; to unite with all God's people, upon primitive order, the Gospel of Jesus Christ.
From this place I returned to Philadelphia, by the way of Wilmington, Old Chester, &c. After arriving in the city this time, I found that several had joined the brethren who were for general union. Some had came to them from the Methodists, some from the Baptists, &c. and some have been converted among them, since the time I first came to the place. The cause appeared to be prospering, the light of glorious liberty was shining and many embracing its principles. I tarried eight days, in which time I preached sixteen times in different parts of the city, but mostly in the New Market, generally to attentive congregations, while I sometimes saw that the Holy Spirit attended the word with comfort to some and to the conviction of others. By this time, two persons had made public profession to the brethren that they had become converted to God, from the conviction they had received when I preached in the Market place the first time; and the prospect at this time in the same place appeared to be more solemn and encouraging. I now became acquainted with a young man by the name of R. Furguson, who related to me his experience, his impressions and the manner the Lord was dealing with him to send him forth in the world to preach the Gospel, and seemed desirous, if it met my approbation, and the Lord prospered him, to travel with me to the southward. After hearing him exercise himself several times in public exhortation, and becoming much attached to him for his piety, zeal and natural talents, I advised and encouraged him to the work of an Evangelist. But his situation in the world rendered it difficult for him to travel with me; he had no horse nor was he, by a few months, free from his apprenticeship. However, from a sense of duty, as I thought he might become useful to the souls of many by declaring his testimony in favour of Christian union and Salvation through Christ to the poor and needy, I concluded to purchase a gig, in which we could both ride and thus my horse would answer us both. He [209] then resolved to prepare to travel with me so soon as his apprenticeship was ended.
About the last of August I went again into the great valley where for several days I preached in different places the people were attentive, many of them solemn, some wept and desired to seek Jesus till they found him to be their Saviour. In these parts, through the instrumentality of R. Puncheon, a number have been moved upon, from their former profession, to seek the life and power of religion. They have sought till many have found, and in finding religion, by him, they have been directed to the word of God for their rule of faith and practice; they take it and find it all-sufficient to lead them into all truth, to unite and bind them together in the bonds of peace and love. As a profession they are not known by any name unless it is by the one which was first given to the disciples at Antioch. Some of them have complied with baptism by going down into the water, being baptised therein, as they understand the word of their discipline (the scriptures) reads. I administered the ordinances of the Lord's supper, and, the example taught us by the Saviour, of washing one another's feet to a company of them, who were greatly refreshed and comforted while they manifested that fellowship and brotherly love which the spirit of the Lord dictates. One methodist and two River brethren (so called) partook with us, and seemed to enjoy the same spirit and grace which were free to us all. This was not only a joyful and solemn time to Gods people, but a weeping, convincing, enquiring and sighing time to many of the unconverted and attentive spectators. About this time my mind was much exercised and became very uneasy by a dream make known to me when deep sleep rested on me. From it I was convinced that a storm of persecution was rising to burst with vengeance upon me. This was a warning, I thought, for me to prepare to meet it from whatsoever quarter it might come, or of what nature it might be. I now had strong and immediate impressions of mind to visit New-Port and its vicinity in Delaware again, though when I left there it [210] was, perhaps to see them no more, not thinking that friends would turn foes and the tongue that had uttered so much feigned friendship and attachment would spout out streams of slander, persecution and falsehood. My going to this place from the Great Valley was delayed several days by my horse having accidently snagged himself in the leg, which, for that length of time, rendered him incapable of travelling. During this time I took the stage to Philadelphia. Held several meetings there, with, I think, former success--Heard the thunders of no violent tongue roaring, nor the cold face of disapprobation rise against me from any one--Saw the work of God going on, in comfort and joy to my soul, and my friends united as usual, and returned again to the friend, who had been doctering my lame horse. When I came my horse was again able to perform service. I then started for Delaware, and preached on the way in West Chester court house to a large congregation, the most of whom appeared to be unfeeling to the word and indifferent to the importance of the things offered to them through Jesus Christ. Thence, on my way to Newport I reflected on the blessed prospect and happy seasons I had seen and felt there; on the mourners in Zion I had left, and the number of professed friends who seemed so greatly and sincerely engaged in the same cause with me, even the work of God. With longing desire and the highest expectations, I went on to see them firm and unshaken, and to meet them in the same spirit of love with which we had parted. But alas! no sooner did I arrive than I heard that the case was far otherwise. I was soon and credibly informed, that in the first place a methodist preacher (a circuit rider) had publicly attacked my character in the pulpit, making me, upon a certainty (as he stated) a deceiver, imposter, a destroyer of religious society, a base man, &c. And was, especially with his brethren, very industrious to set them against me; telling them to prohibit me from preaching any more in their meeting house (if I returned) and to have no more friendship with me. And that he had succeeded not only with the most of his society [211] but with a number of other people, who upon his authority at this time considered me to be a bad man!
As a stranger I knew it would be difficult to retrieve my character from the clutches of a preacher who ought to be esteemed as a man of truth. This brought me night to God in prayer, not only for grace to support and keep me patient under this trial, but for directions how to proceed to the satisfaction of the people, and that the cause of God should not fall into reproach through me. With saying but little, I only made it known, that I had never seen this man and that he knew nothing of me from his own knowledge, brought forward several of my certificates, and recommendations given to me in different parts of the United States, of early and late date, testifying my character to be fair and unimpeachable. I then proceeded to preach among the people, saying nothing in public by way of retaliation nor self-defence, feeling that the Lord would stand by and save me from the fury of the storm. In preaching a few times, I found that much of the prejudice of the people vanished away, who then considered me as an injured persecuted man. Some of the society remained opposed to me, and some of those who were once the most friendly, and for no other reason than they credited a report which was unfounded. But for the loss of a few unstable friends I had the comfort to find new ones of a more genuine, firm and lasting principle. Continuing in and about the place about one week, I had the pleasure too see the storm, which threatened to devour me, blow off, the sky appear beneficent and clear, and the sun again to shine kind and propitious; and being debarred from the meeting house I was admitted into a convenient school house, where I preached to large attentive congregations and saw that the Lord was with me. Several who were under conviction still mourned and prayed to be delivered from the prison-house of their spiritual bondage. The people were now as deeply affected and desirous to hear as I had seen them formerly and I felt that God was much more gracious and precious to me. For as I was a stranger I had no one to [212] appeal to for my innocence, no person found to wipe my reproach away, nor to restore me to the favor of the people but my God. And surely did I find at this time that the God whom I serve continually was able to deliver me. And somewhat remarkably did he bestow his humiliating and long suffering grace upon me, and did, by his spirit attend my message to the hearts of my hearers, which turned their prejudice into friendship, removed their suspicions, conquered their oppositions and turned their rising wrath to love. Praise to God who defends the innocent and saves them who trust in him. Glory and honour to him "who is a hiding place from the wind, a covert from the tempest, as rivers of water in a dry place and as the shadow of a great rock in a weary land," who is ever night and waiting to protect and bless the faithful.
Beholding myself brought safely through this time of trouble, I was brought to deep reflection upon the corruption, deceitfulness and desperate wickedness of the human heart. Thought it may be outwardly adorned with a profession of religion, with high-sounding names and titles, and under those names may do many wonderful works--sing, shout, make long prayers, preach, give much to the poor, have great faith and zeal in their party; yet unless it is thoroughly changed, made clean and heavenly by divine grace; unless it is moved and in all things influenced by charity, if the love of God is not shed abroad, it still remains as a cage of unclean birds, full of rottenness and dead men's bones, from whence proceed all manner of sins and uncleaness: evil thoughts, railings, false accusations, strife, perverse disputings and persecutions: is yet in the gall of bitterness, a vessel of wrath, fitting for destruction. I saw it was not a profession, a name or a pretended zeal to a part that makes the christians; but that it must be the spirit of Christ, which is gentle, pure, harmless, holy, full of love, mercy, long suffering and good works. Where this spirit is not manifested to friends and enemies; to those of others as well as to those of our own party, there is no pure religion, let the profession, name, [213] title or office, be what it may. O may my heart never be so corrupt and wretched as to rise up in opposition to, or persecute the innocent, nor try to destroy him, merely because he may differ in sentiment from me. But may my God ever give me that grace, humility patience and fortitude to bear and suffer as a christian all the malignity vented against me, and the wicked efforts made to oppose and devour me. O may I always have a heart to pray for my enemies, to say "Father forgive them for they know not what they do." I now rejoiced in God who was my strong hold and my unspeakable comfort. Here I found another specimen of the inconstancy of human friendship. While I was disgusted at the deception of some, I was led to pity and forgive the weak, wavering and uncertain nature of others.
From this place I rode about thirty miles into Pennsylvania to see the preacher who had made this public and erroneous attack upon my character. I met with him at one of his appointments. I told him it was his indispensable duty either to prove his charges alleged against me, and make it appear to his congregation of a truth that I was the man he stated me to be, or to confess his fault and retract his assertions. But he was unable to do the one and unwilling to do the other. He could prove nothing, neither would he in the least confess that he had done wrong, but stubbornly maintained it as his opinion that I was the man he had represented me, though he confessed he had never seen me before; and the people I belonged to, called christians, were the trash of hell and their sentiments were brought from the bottomless pit!!! &c. &c. I asked some of his brethren if they could let this man, who had committed such an open violation against the Gospel, preach among them without bringing him to a trial for his conduct. Whether this was ever done I pretend not to say, for I had to leave them without any further satisfaction. Six miles from this place I held meeting to an attentive people. I was enabled to speak upon the goodness of God from known experience to the comfort and conviction of some who heard me. [214]
I then returned to Philadelphia and tarried near two weeks, in which time I continued to preach frequently in different places in the city. I now bought a gig and began to prepare to attend a great meeting to be holden in Caroline County, Virginia, in October. The christian brethren had now increased from the time I had first arrived in this place, from a small despised few, to the number of scores, whose meeting house was now too small to contain the people who resorted to hear the word of God. Many joyful and happy seasons I experienced amongst them, as I could hear many relate their heavenly experience and tell what great things God had done for them. The union, love and christian friendship which was manifest amongst them was a proof to many that the spirit of Christ was in them. The time now drew nigh that I was to depart. Brother R. F. and I now concluded that he would meet me in Alexandria about the ensuing Christmas, in order to travel with me to preach the gospel. The night before I departed I preached to a large audience, the most of whom were dissolved in tears and several of them mourning for redemption. This was truly a joyful time to my soul as I saw so many united in love, rejoicing in their way to heaven, many of whom I expected, though I should see them no more in the world, to meet and dwell with in heaven, where all is love union and eternal praise.
About the 20th of September, I left the city and E. S. with me in the gig for the great meeting in Virginia. We soon found that my horse would not answer the purpose to convey us along as fast as the case demanded. In the evening not far from Wilmington, a man proposed to exchange for my horse. We exchanged and then went on and came to our appointment at candlelight in Newport. We had a large, attentive assembly much affected with the word preached. In the morning we went on and in a short time found our creature to fail, and it was now evident that the man had put a creature on me which was hip-shot and wind-broken. This taught me a useful lesson. By stopping frequently on the way, and sometimes by walking and leading the creature we made to [215] Havre-de-Grace, and put up for the night. I now considered my self in a difficult situation. Having a creature which could not perform service; appointments on before; a gig which, according to promise, must be conveyed on; scarcely any money and in the midst of strangers. On the next morning we endeavoured to go on again; the creature gave out. E. S. then took a hack and went on his way and left me. By resting some time and leading on my creature late in the night, I arrived and tarried all night in Baltimore. From hence in much fatigue and trouble, in three days I came into Alexandria. My money was now expended, but finding the house of my friend W. L. though he was not at home at the time, yet I was kindly entertained by his family and recommended to some friends in Fairfax County, about Fall's Church. I then went there and came to old bro. Gunnel's, a blind man, but who, I found saw clearly the right way of the Lord and who was friendly and kind to me. After staying with him two days I went on my way again for the great meeting; having two dollars given me by a friend which I received as a peculiar favor in the time of great necessity, and in two days arrived in Fredericksburg at brother C. Clark's, whom I found to be a truly pious old man and a hospitable friend. At his house I met with W. G. whom I was glad to see. We held meeting at brother C's. to an attentive congregation. I was now much revived and comforted. I felt thankful that the Lord had opened my way, provided for me thus far and that I now found myself among friends. Though I had to walk the most of the road from Havre-de-Grace, and lead my creature through much mud, temptation and affliction of mind, my troubles now rolled away and the recollection of them served to increase my joy. I now could say, and moreover I glory in tribulation, knowing that tribulation worketh patience, patience experience, experience hope, and hope maketh not ashamed because the love of God is shed abroad in the heart by the Holy Ghost, which is given unto me." I viewed the dealings of God with me as being wise, precious and beneficial to my soul, [216] though, at time, painful and mortifying to my flesh and mysterious to my understanding.
From thence I went on to W. G's. where I was met again by E. S. In this neighborhood we held two meetings to large congregations, but without much prospect of good. On Thursday we all went on to brother W's. in the neighborhood where the great meeting was to commence on the next day, the first Friday in October. On the first day of this meeting several preachers from a distance, together with a member of people attended. There were two sermons delivered, which seemed to be attended with that energy which impressed great solemnity upon the hearers. Much love and friendship were manifested among the preachers and brethren present, while some wept and appeared sorrowful for their sins. It was generally understood that E. S. was to attend at this meeting, and his name had excited great curiosity among the people to hear him preach. His preaching was much admired for its novelty, but stirred up much opposition against himself, and against many others of us, from many of the sectarians, who took us all to be in full connection with each other; because he preached with us. At night we had a solemn and an affecting time. Some were mourning under conviction. On Saturday a large congregation met, when there were ten preachers together, who were all for a free communion, and a general union in the church of Christ. Here I saw the two young preachers before mentioned, namely brothers M. B. and Z. H. who were seals which the Lord added to my ministry. By this time they had made improvement in the Gospel beyond expectation. Bro. B. on this day preached and discovered to his hearers a pleasing and profitable talent, together with that zeal and energy, which distinguishes a servant of the most high God. Brother H. though not so clear and penetrating, so profound and argumentative, I found, was possessed of that humility and true piety and that earnest engagedness in the cause of his Great Master, which cannot fail to render him acceptable and useful. There were several sermons delivered during the day, great attention [217] prevailed among the people, while many were weeping being deeply concerned for their salvation and others were comforted by the love of God, which flowed so freely to the soul and sweetly united us together in the bonds of peace and union. At night we had a joyful and solemn time. Preaching, praying, crying and shouting continued till late in the night. On Sunday a numerous audience attended. Several sermons were delivered in the course of the day, the people attended with strict decorum and were seriously impressed with the importance of the things which they heard. On Monday we concluded the meeting, which was a serious, weeping and happy time indeed. We now came for the close of that meeting which had continued four days and three nights. During this time I saw some of God's people, of different professions, partake of the Lord's supper, without regard to sect, name, or party, and sat together in heavenly places in Christ, where there is neither barbarian, Scythian, bond nor free, but he is all and in all. Where preachers of different sentiments, united to declare the same important truths of heaven to dying men, while all our hearts seemed sincerely engaged in building up the waste places of Zion. Many of us who had hitherto, been strangers to each other, were now acquainted, our hearts abundantly refreshed and knit together, by the riches of heavenly grace. We now resolved, as we went our different ways, to spread a free and peaceful Gospel, to invite sinners to its riches, all denominations to its liberty and all men to the glory of its promises. We gave each other farewell, to depart in different directions not knowing that we should ever meet to enjoy such sweet communion and fellowship again while time endures. While we wept, we rejoiced, believing that many of us would meet where the wicked cease to trouble and the weary be at rest.
From this meeting my mind seemed strongly directed to Shenandoah and about Winchester, North of the Blue Ridge. But in consequence of my creature not being able to take me there, nor I able to purchase another, it appeared impracticable, in this instance, with [218] me to comply with what I took to be my duty. But in going to W. G's. he proffered to take care of my creature, and lend me his gig-horse, till I would perform the journey, if it was three months. This proposal I accepted as a peculiar favor of the man and another evidence that God was my helper, and that he always provided me assistance in time of need.
I then went on to Fredericksburg, and preached to attentive people. The word fell not like "seed by the way side," but on good ground, which, I had reason to believe, would bring forth, in the hearts of some, an hundred fold of good fruits to eternal life. Thence I went on for Alexandria; it rained and I became very wet and chilly. The road was immensely bad; the country poor, and in some place much broken with hills; expenses high, and accommodations not good. Night overtook me, and about twelve miles from Alexandria, in a small and obscure habitation, by hard beging and high paying, I was permitted to stay all night. This was a disagreeable day to my body and the night more so to my soul; as the man, where I was, had been taking too much strong drink; stormed, raved about, cursed and swore as brave as a sailor. And while I was led to reflect upon the insanity of drunkards my soul trembled, not only at the mischief which has been done in the world, and the number of souls which have been and probably yet may be sunk to destruction by the excessive use of ardent spirits. By this article, how many useful and brilliant talents have been degraded, destroyed and lost, and brought down, in action, almost on a level with the beasts of the earth! How many broils, quarrels, fights, disfigured faces, bruised heads, sore eyes and even precious and useful lives lost! How many domestic disturbances created, husbands and wives parted; families and children immersed in poverty and shame! How many female hearts have been pained with sorrow, drowned in tears, broken with grief and overburdened with an intolerable weight of distresses! How many children have walked the streets and wandered the fields in rags and disgrace; have cried for bread and found none. How [219] many wicked and abominable crimes has this been the cause of being committed! And how much precious and all important TIME has been spent by it! Drunkenness, like a furious tornado, tears up modesty, and, as a pearl of no price, tramples it disregarded under his feet. Virtue fails and sinks to nought. Prudence flies before the gust and is not seen. Peace forsakes the storm while nought but tumult roars. Love, forgetful of her home, flies affrighted and seeks for a refuge, a more peaceful clime. Happiness, prostrated, lies expiring, yet imploring, in the arms of death. All the virtues that bless the soul of man and all the graces that adorn the human character are often driven from their native place, to return no more while the rage of drunkenness storms the man. Why will you then, thought I, be so fond, O man, of thy own destruction? Why drink, with greediness, thy own misery and death? Why so infatuated as not to govern thyself and break off this the greatest of all curses? Touch, nor taste not this, thy surest poison and thy lasting bane, or if ye touch it, O "touch it lightly."
Next morning I went on to Alexandria, where I met again with E. S. We held a few meetings in the place without much prospect of good, or without meeting with much friendship from any, only one or two who kindly entertained us. We then went to Falls' church, and preached to a large congregation; on the same day at candlelight at brother G's. where the people were attentive, serious and solemn, and I think good impressions were made on the minds of some. Here I met with several kind and friendly brethren who appeared to be devoutly exercised in their holy calling to obtain eternal life. Hence to Georgetown and the Federal City. In Georgetown I parted with E. S. While he went eastward, I returned to brother G's. and held preaching in his house, where the signs of deep contrition were evident in the appearance of some; and some of the brethren were revived and comforted.
About the 16th of October I went on for Shenandoah; on the 19th I arrived at W. Smith's, on Cedar Creek, in Shenandoah County, in whom, at that time, I found [220] a kind and hospitable friend, and one zealously engaged in the same cause I was trying to promote. This journey was attended with difficulty, temptation and fear. With difficulty, not only because the most of the road was immensely deep with mud, in some places almost impassable for a gig, but so scarce of money that I suffered for food, and being thinly clothed and having only worn-out shoes on my feet, I had to endure much from the frost and cold winds which began to blow. With temptation, because I was almost led to conclude that my trials and necessities were so incessant and grievous that I should not be able to surmount them, and that I had better station myself in a more easy situation and cease this painful and continued wandering. That I was not a profitable servant, nor acceptable to the people, or thy would provide better for me and supply my necessities in time of need, and not let me suffer while preaching the Gospel to them an that I had better give up my present calling and follow some lucrative business. But these temptations I had grace to withstand and overcome; for as to my trials and necessities they were not greater, at this time, than what they had often been, and from which the Lord had always supplied and delivered me; and I trusted
He who helped me hitherto,
Would help me all my journey thro'. |
As to being profitable, I was well convinced that my message had been often attended with divine authority to the hearts of the people, and though unworthy of a reward from them, or merit before God, unprofitable in myself, yet obedient to my duty; as poor yet making many rich. As I had often been tempted to cease preaching the Gospel, and flattered with more pleasing prospects in the world than what it offered me, I well knew this was a suggestion from the Devil and not from God, and was soon delivered from it. I knew the unchangeable God who once called a man to preach his word, can never call him from that duty while he lives, and if he forsakes it, that is an evidence he was [221] either never called to the work, or that the world, flesh and the devil have allowed and overcome him. And as I seriously contemplated the transient, uncertain and empty nature of things below, I was the more enamoured with, and determined to press forward to obtain the things heavenly and eternal, "where pleasures never die." From fear, because, as I had no earthly friend, nor acquaintance where I was going I might be rejected, and find no friendship from any. As a stranger, I might be looked upon with suspicion and cast out with shame. Yet I put my trust in that God who had ever provided me friends and had never forsook me in time of distress; comforting myself only in the promises of my heavenly Father. In this journey I was asked if I was not a Negro Driver? I said no: that I considered the purchase of human souls and the traffic of innocent blood was too serious an undertaking for me to engage in.
On the 20th. At candlelight, I preached at W. S's. to an attentive people, who were much affected. Here I was made acquainted with some dear brethren who were revived and expressed their joy that I had visited them. I was invited to preach at several places and made my appointments accordingly. I then preached at brother B's. W's. and in Stoverstown, to large congregations, with much success in the Lord. In Stoverstown I met with a number of dear brethren, who were humble, zealous and much engaged in the cause of God. Sinners were reached to the heart; some were convicted and many wept. The work of the Lord was prosperous. Christian union seemed to shine, and while it warmed the hearts of some, it exposed the traditions, and useless forms of others, and made them persecute, others drew nigh to walk in the light. At brother B's. I administered the Lord's supper to a number of dear disciples and while we washed one another's feet, humility, love and sweet fellowship caused our souls to magnify the Lord and rejoice in the God of our salvation; and many of the spectators were brought to weep the tears of contrition, and some constrained to pray for mercy. O this joyful time, this heavenly scene, in which my soul [222] feasted so largely on the riches of the kingdom, felt the sweets of christian followship, and saw the effects of the love of God so freely and abundantly bestowed upon his people and upon the congregation at large, is not to be erased from my memory.
On the first Sabbath in November, I preached in Stoverstown, to a large audience, many of whom were solemnly impressed with the weight of divine truth. The word of God, which is sharper than a two-edged sword, fell deep in the hearts of some and caused them to cry for redemption. After sermon we proceeded a short distance to the Shenandoah river, where I proceeded to baptise eight persons in obedience to the command of the meek and lowly Saviour. This was a scene which impressed great solemnity upon the minds of many; caused some to give glory to him who gives sight to the blind and grace to the humble; though, one man, by the way of derision, threw a dog into the river, as he said, to baptise him! This kind of ridiculous behaviour is generally acted by the low, the vulgar, the wicked and baser sort of people, and ought to be pitied and forgiven. At candlelight we had meeting in town again, where the Lord was with us of a truth. The brethren were comforted and united together and sinners wept. In this place I tarried a few days and held public meetings with the people and social meetings with the brethren, while the works of the Lord revived and many were built up in the most holy faith. No doubt, thought I, the remembrance of these happy seasons, the union and fellowship of those joyful times will be sweet and refreshing to many souls for years to come. If the soul should hereafter become cold, lukewarm and dull, or if strife and variance should divide this band of love, no doubt but the persevering and earnest soul will revert back and say, "O that it (the cause of God) was as in times past." O that the Lord would again visit us as in days that are past and gone.
Here the brethren, who saw my necessity, furnished me with some articles of clothing and nine dollars in money, which I accepted as favours provided by that propitious hand which liberally supplied the young [223] ravens when they cry, and clothes the grass with inimitable glory. I now had, not only my temporal wants supplied, but my soul richly fed with that "bread which cometh down from above, that giveth life to the world;" being established in the faith once delivered to the saints. I now also found a wide and effectual door opened for the preaching of the Gospel in all the regions round about.
From Stoverstown I attended again at brother B's. W's. and S's. where the people came with great avidity to hear the word of the Lord proclaimed. Some were pungently convicted, brought to weep and pray, while others rejoiced in hope of the glory of God. While at brother S's. I went one mile to hear Mr. T. a baptist, preach, as I ever made it a practice to hear all these of any denomination that I could (not to interfere with my own engagements) to shew my love and friendship with them; but, as I had been frequently served before, this man made several rough hints in his sermon against me, and so far from evincing to his hearers that he loved all who loved the Lord Jesus, he warned them not to hear me, though he had not heard me himself. I said nothing, but suffered it for Christ's sake and pitied the man.
From bro. S's. I went on to Winchester, took up at J. F.'s who obtained the Presbyterian meeting house for me, where I preached to an attentive audience, but saw not much apparent effect among the people. From thence on the next day (the 3d Sabbath in November) to M. Rittenour's. At 12 o'clock preached to a small audience, who appeared to feel but little what I said. This was the first time I saw her who afterwards became my wife. In the afternoon I went seven miles, and at candlelight preached at the house of a methodist, to an attentive people but unfeeling to what I delivered to them. After preaching I went on in the dark, to Winchester, four miles, and found a difficult passage for a gig, and was forced to walk and lead by creature the most of the way. Finding that religious bigotry, prejudice and partyism occupied and influenced the hearts of professors more than christian union did, and finding [224] no access amongst them, I returned again to Shenandoah, where I preached, frequently twice in a day, in different places and the spirit of the Lord was manifest among many of the people. I continued in this region till some time in December, when the time drew nigh when I must depart to Alexandria, and I had contemplated from thence on to the South. But by the entreaties of many of the friends, the appearance of the work of God, and feeling that I had not finished the work which the Lord had appointed me to do in this quarter, I consented to postpone my journey to the South, and to return hither again from Alexandria. On my return from Alexandria on the 9th of December, at candlelight I preached again at M. Rittenour's to an attentive people. I was enabled to speak with much zeal and earnestness, feeling at heart the importance of precious souls, nor was my labor in vain; the hearers were solemn and some not only wept but were sincerely penitent, being convinced that they were sinners, "without God and without hope in the world." When I ceased speaking, a Methodist, who was a stranger to me, rose up and gave a zealous exhortation, only he used some harsh and unprecedented expressions which I took the liberty to remind him of in a friendly manner after meeting. He told sinners "they were hair-hung and breeze-shaken over the pit of damnation," and to "dread that death that never dies," which, I told him, were unmeaning, unscriptural expressions, and ought not to be used; and that it was better to invite sinners than to try to drive them to Christ, and when they were to be alarmed, they should be alarmed by scripture which could not be gainsayed. This was a night of deep and lasting impressions on the minds of some, and a night of comfort and joy to a few of God's people who were present.
From this place I started on the 10th on my way, and in travelling thirty miles, mostly a disagreeable road, and in crossing Shenandoah river I got my feet wet, caught cold, stopped at an Inn, with high fevers on me being very unwell. I prayed fervently to God to spare me in health that I might still be able to discharge [225] the important duty of calling sinners to repentance, which pressed heavy on my mind. My faith was strong; I believed my fevers would shortly depart, and that my indisposition would not continue long. While I lay ruminating upon the late dealings of God with me, the comforts of the divine spirit were free and copious to my soul. I was led to admire the riches of that grace which, often, was so abundant to the sincere soul in secret. And the secret place how suitable and how necessary it is to the christian's soul to be frequently retired there. Though men cannot see, nor mortal hear, there is one who is ever present, and always nigh to help. A silent thought is well articulated in his ear. A secret sigh is well understood. A faint desire is big with meaning. And he whom I there pray shall reward me openly. In this place there is none to look upon nor to hear me but that being who has created, preserved and redeemed me, and who knows me well in all my thoughts, my words and actions. This is no place for boasting, but confessing--not for giving, but for asking and receiving. This is a place of self-examination and trial; of self-abasement and humiliation; a kind of first judgment upon the soul. Here I muse upon my imperfections and discover my faults. Here I detect my wanderings and find out my sliding steps. Here I let others alone and criminate myself. Here I resign and give up. Here I forget my good actions and have nothing to plead. I now feel that I am nothing, but christ owns me, he is my Saviour and I am his forever. Here my strength renews. Hence my faith increases. Here I rejoice in hope of the glory of God. My mind is captivated and my affections placed on high.
"I tread the world beneath my feet
And all the world calls good and great." My soul in secret oft has cried, And there as oft has been supplied; O may I then there oft retire To feed my soul and raise it higher. [226] |
On Saturday 13th. Sometime in the night I came to brother G's. in Fairfax county, being very wet and cold, as it had rained incessant throughout the day. On the day following I preached in Falls' church to a large attentive assembly, but could see but little effect among the people. The people about here are remarkable for pride, fashion and ostentation. The professors also seem to be too much conformed to the fashion of this present world. And when I see but little difference in the dress, in formal and polite ceremony, in conversation, &c. between professor and non-professor, I am led to think there is but little religion in the heart. And where the one is so nearly conformed to the other, religion sinks into insignificance and dies. For in the customs, maxims and fashions of the world, the plainness, humility and heavenly nature of religion is lost. This (thought I) is why religion in some places does not revive, flourish and prosper, when professors indulge in idle and foolish, unnecessary talking and jesting, and in sporting upon their neighbor's faults and imperfections. Such need not wonder, complain and sometimes ask, why the Lord does not visit them with the out-pouring of his spirit and revive his work in their quarter. The cause lies with themselves. If you desire religion to prosper and others to obtain it, you must first let them see the practice, happiness and nature of it in your own profession. Let fall your prejudice, do away your bigotry, love your brethren, manifest it to all who fear God and keep his commandments of whatsoever name they may be. Be not conformed to this proud, sinful world. Deny yourselves of vain pleasure, worldly amusements, of foolish and changeable fashions, jestings, levity, light conversation and all ungodliness. Take up your cross. Let the world see you and know that ye are not of them, but are chosen out of the world. Own and follow your Saviour. Walk his example. Love and obey his precepts. Live by faith upon the word of God. Trust his goodness and await for his mercies. Believe his promises. Humble yourselves under his mighty hand. Be patient in [227] tribulation. Endure afflictions and persecutions. When you are reviled, revile not again; when you are persecuted threaten not. Rejoice in hope; and be fervent in the spirit. Set your affection on things above, not on the things on the earth. "Lay up your treasure in heaven where moth nor rust cannot corrupt nor thieves break through and steal; for where your treasure is, there shall your hearts be also." Then also ye be happy and ye shall shine as lights in the crooked and perverse generation. And while (the wicked) behold your good works they will be constrained to glorify your Father which is in heaven. Then pray and your prayers shall be heard. Then shall many come and ask of you the way to Zion with their faces thitherward. Then shall the love of God flow freely and his spirit move upon many. The work of God shall then revive and religion flourish. Lord when shall this be the case with the people who profess thy name? When will the world lose its charms amongst them? When will the work of God and the spirit of mammon in appearance, be blended no longer together? When shall deception, hypocrisy and deceit be ashamed to sit in the temple of God? When shall they no longer degrade the name of religion nor impede its progress.
In this neighborhood, in different places, I preached almost every day till the 23d, in which I saw some good appearances of the work of God on the minds of a few. Some young people appeared to feel themselves interested in eternal life, but not so deeply convicted I feared, as is necessary in the perseverance of that important object. The general appearance of religion was dull and gloomy, nor could I feel that strong faith, nor feel that liberty and consolation in speaking which I frequently in other places feel. I met with some persecution here, but reports were not believed so as to do me much injury, though I felt willing and able to bear it in patience for Christ's sake.
The 23d I went to Alexandria, here the people attended not to my voice nor regarded what I said, and I soon left the place and went my way. I left directions for brother R. F. of Philadelphia, if he came, where to [228] find me, a few miles in the country. I returned to the neighborhood I had lately left, and on Christmas-day held meeting at brother G's. at 12 o'clock, and at candlelight at brother Darns', a hospitable and kind friend to me. The first meeting was mostly composed of young people, who by their behaviour, came together more the purpose of seeing each other than to be affected by the word of God; "and the word did not profit them because it was not mixed with faith in them that heard it." At night our meeting was attended by a number of praying people, influenced and operated upon by the Spirit of God. The Lord was with us, and while I proclaimed the glad tidings of free redemption, through Christ, some were comforted and some mourned for the forgiveness of sins.
On the next day, at this place, brother F. came to me. In the evening we had meeting in the same place. The people came out freely and seriously attended to the word addressed to them. Brother F. confined himself to exhortation, which, though short, was pleasing and acceptable to the people.
This young man (F.) is now about twenty years of age, has but little education, can read but cannot write; yet he is possessed of a good genius and natural talents, his temper agreeable, and his mind sound and firm. His understanding and knowledge in the scriptures extensive and correct, and needs only experience and practice in speaking to make him admirable and useful. He seems to be purely influenced by the Spirit and love of God. And while he manifests great zeal for the salvation of souls, he is noticed and loved for his humility. I have promised him all the aid I can give him, in every way, till he can walk alone, or, as long as he may feel inclined to travel with me; and shall rejoice in his improvement and praise the Lord for his usefulness.
We tarried about eight days, and I preached several times in the neighborhood, and had some comfortable meetings. The people by this time had become more attentive and desirous to hear the word, and there were some appearances of a revival; but I now thought it more my duty to return to Shenandoah than to continue here [229] longer, as I felt the Lord had a great work for me to do there and much to suffer for his name's sake. The 3rd of January we left bro. G's. and went on several miles and held meeting at candlelight at Sister ------, to a people seriously engaged in hearing us, some of whom were deeply affected, where I was comforted and my soul strengthened while delivering my message to the people, and much more so by the suitable exhortation and melodious singing of brethren F. The next day we went on and took up an in where we were kindly entertained gratis. On the 6th our sufferings were great from the cold and the disagreeableness of the road. We walked (alternately) all the day as it was too cold to ride. We crossed the Blue Ridge and Shenandoah river, which we found dangerous because of the ice. After travelling thirty miles being in the evening thrown out of our way, by wrong direction, some time in the night, we came to M. Rittenour's, in Frederick county, hungry, weary and almost frozen. The family kindly received us, and being taken into a warm stove-room we soon felt comfortable. My heart was now again consoled, as I recounted the sufferings, dangers, distresses and necessities which I had endured for the Gospel of Jesus and the souls of men. And as I could see the hand of God in the direction of all my wanderings, and his munificence bestowed freely on all my wants. I felt happy for all his dispensations to me. On Sunday, 7th, I left an appointment at this place and went on thirteen miles, and at 12 o'clock preached in Stoverstown, to a large congregation, while the spirit of the Lord was among the people. We held three meetings here, and on the next Tuesday, at candlelight, at brother B's. and so on to brother W's. S's and at brother E's. while the spirit of the Lord followed. The people attended with great desire to hear the word, and many appeared to hear not in vain. The lamp of truth appeared to blaze, which exposed, not only the crimes, sins and follies of some of the wicked, and caused them to seek to reform their lives, but many of their doctrines. Systems and traditions, which had been taught for religion, were now seen to be [230] unscriptural, useless and only calculated for interest; to divide and separate the people of God, and to keep the lambs of Christ apart. Of course as these things were disesteemed and the scriptures likely to be regarded as the sole authority of the christian; prejudice, partyism and bigotry levelled their artillery against me; while their forge was busily engaged in forming a thousand not so's against me. I now found new cause for a thorough acquaintance with the holy scriptures, as I was often attacked by those of different societies, and was frequently preached against by some, and spoken evil of afar off and represented as a deceiver; while it was evident to those who heard me, that I preached the faith that is in Christ Jesus, and offered a Saviour friendly to all men. The scriptures now became my particular study and my most constant perusal, so that much of the gospel and many of the epistles were mine by memory. This, I found, not only enabled me to produce strong proof to cavilists, but was strength, nourishment, and often fresh comfort to my soul, and the only prop of my immortal hope.
From brother E's. I attended at M. R's. where the work of the Lord began to revive. Three souls were brought under deep conviction for their sins, and prayed aloud for God to be merciful to them. The people of God (who were few about here) were revived, and some of the methodist brethren shouted praise to God. This meeting continued until late in the night, but neither of the mourners were set at liberty at that time. From thence I preached at the Round Hill, to a large assembly, who were attentive, but mostly unaffected, and the methodists much prejudiced against me. Thence to brother C. L's. Thence to brother S. Sample's, where I spoke to a serious and solemn audience. This man I found to be an humble, precious disciple of my lowly Saviour. He is one who takes the scripture for his guide, without an attachment to parties or names; yet all the Israel of God. Our souls soon ran in unison with each other, and were much comforted as we conversed together upon the things of the kingdom of God. From [231] this place I went again to M. R's. where I soon found that two of the mourners, mentioned before, had been brought from deep distress; their sighs and moans were turned into songs and praises to God, and that one of the son-in-law's of the family, since preaching, been shown the error of his ways, and was, now in the house, driven almost to despair under the burden and at the sight of his sins. We prayed and sang for the mourner, but he still acted as one who almost despaired of the mercy of God. At candlelight a large audience attended for preaching. This was a night of the out-pouring and mighty display of divine grace. One mourning soul was changed and made anew in Christ Jesus. Her sins were separated from her; and she could tell what great things the Lord had done for her. Her sorrow was turned into joy. While three happy converts were triumphing in redeeming love, there were several brought to the floor, and to see that they were poor, wretched, miserable, blind and naked, while they cried for mercy and sought pardon in the blood of the Lamb; and the congregation seemed generally dissolved in tears. This meeting continued till midnight, while the power of God overshadowed us and made the place feel dreadful to some, joyful and like the gate of heaven to others. On the next evening, at candlelight, I preached in Kernstown, at A. K's. to a few people who appeared to be indifferent and unaffected. Here the man attended who had been in such deep distress at brother R's. and as he was down on his knees several times praying in the congregation while I was preaching, some thought he had lost his senses. This was not the case: but his distress of mind was so great, that shame and fear of man had left him; and he continued, almost without ceasing, in prayer for the Lord to deliver him, but he could not yet believe unto righteousness. From this place to the Round Hill, where I held three meetings with profit to the souls of some. The hearts of the young people were made tender and appeared to receive solemn impressions and good desires to return to the great shepherd of souls. I then returned to M. R's. and held several meetings at his house and in the neighborhood, by day [232] and by night, while several more professed to find Jesus, the great redeemer of souls, and several more were brought to a sense of their lost condition and constrained to weep and pray for mercy. The spirit of this revival now seemed to touch, in some measure, the hearts of most in the neighborhood. It was now the desire of some to obey their Saviour in the command of baptism, and that I should baptise them. I appointed a meeting for that purpose, and returned to Shenandoah; in Stoverstown, and several other places, where we held meetings once, sometimes twice in a day, and the cause of the Lord seemed still to prosper. Falsehood, slander and persecution were now at a high pitch against me. But the father of lies, being greedy to devour me, invented reports for that purpose so enormous that they could not be believed. And as the word of the Lord prevailed and his work increased, by his good pleasure through me, I cannot tell why that I should give cause or be a reason for professors of religion to join against me. But so it was. Some of these I found to be my greatest enemies, and the most industrious to hedge up my way. And preachers, though for their sakes I will not mention their names, opposed me publicly and privately, and were heard to take up evil reports of me, both of a doctrinal and personal nature, without any personal acquaintance with me, until the alarm became so great that not a meeting house belonged to any society in those parts was accessible to me. If I am in error, thought I, and preach false doctrine, why will not some of my frightened brethren, who are fearful that I will do mischief if let alone, come and convince me, or at least converse with me upon the subject, and let me hear wherein I am wrong? None testified this affection for me, but they could tell others, (the reported errors) though they never heard me express them myself!
I preached again at brother E's. where the people were mostly Friends, to a number of solemn, attentive people. I tarried all night at the place, and had an alarming and singular dream which seemed to apprise me of some meditated attack of opposition which might [233] be of a very serious nature, which I found shortly came to pass. On the next day (the second Sabbath in February) I attended at M. R's. a cold and disagreeable day, where not less than a thousand people were collected. We were mostly exposed to the open air, yet they behaved with strict attention; while I was enabled, by more than a common share of the Holy Spirit to declare the Lord Jesus to them. The word fell not in vain, but sunk deep into the hearts of many. We then repaired two miles to the water, where I proceeded to baptise eight persons, in the presence of a numerous crowd of spectators, who were decently behaved and many solemnly affected to see old men and young women obey their Saviour, though hard to flesh and blood. When this was done a numbered returned back to R's. where we sang, prayed, and exhorted with each other till candlelight, when public worship commenced. The spirit of the lord moved mightily upon the people, while many wept, mourned, prayed and rejoiced. After sermon we partook of the Lord's supper, and, according to Christ's example, washed one another's feet. About twenty persons were beheld in this humble scene; the most of whom had but lately tasted of the word of life, and made partakers of the heavenly calling, together with some methodists and one baptist, all of whom, at this time, shared largely of that spirit of love and unity which is in Christ. On this occasion there were several more brought to a discovery of their sins, and translated from darkness into the kingdom of the son of God, and restored to divine favor. This was surely a night, with some of sorrow, fear and trembling, and to others a time of unspeakable joy. The following week I occupied my time in preaching, sometimes twice in a day, in the neighborhood, and twice in Newtown, to large congregations, where the methodists raised great opposition against me; but with all the alarm the people manifested that independence which brought them out to hear and judge for themselves, and many were affected under the word.
On the 3rd. Sunday of February I attended at the Round Hill, with a number who accompanied me there from R's. When I came to the place, I soon [234] understood that, though my appointment was made sometime previous, a Mr. M. F. (a Methodist) from Winchester, had an appointment to commence at the same place before mine, and then intended to hold class meeting, which was thought to be for the purpose of preventing me from preaching there that day. I went to the preacher and asked him, how it was. He told me he intended to preach and then hold class meeting. I then told the people that those who desired to hear me should follow me to a private house, a short distance off, and those so disposed might stay and occupy the house. The congregation being disgusted at his spirit of opposition left the house with me, only a few of his own society. We repaired to brother C's. where we had a solemn, peaceful time, while, I was afterwards told, the man neither preached nor held class meeting. At candlelight, ten miles from this place, I held meeting at R's to a weeping crowd, where the work of the Lord was still increasing and going on to the glory and joy of many souls. Here the people did not disperse before midnight, while some prayed, some rejoiced and some wept bitterly. These were times of sweet contemplation and great happiness to my soul. God was my comfort, he my strength and my only sure support. My trials, oppositions, and persecutions for some time past have been great. Herod and Pilate were enemies to each other, but they made friends and united to oppose Jesus and to exterminate him from the earth; even so, it seems, have the different denominations, though opposed and at variance with each other on many occasions, united to oppose and withstand me. My great object is only to preach the peaceful Gospel and offer the word of God to the people, without tradition, or the aid of human systems, as the Royal law, or rule of Christian liberty, love and union. Many hear my voice and some believe the report is true; some open there eyes and see the light of heavenly truth, and wonder why they have been bound up in party notions so long. This causes some, being exceedingly mad against me, to cry out the more, "away with him, away with him, he is a pestilent fellow and not fit to live on the earth." Though many [235] rise up to slay me, the Lord preserves me and gives me rich supplies of grace. Though my enemies surround me, the light of the Lord goeth before me and his glory is my rearward. Though I am represented, by some, as a mischievous man, yet my great master attends my weak labors with his mighty power; the devils are subject through his name, sinners tremble and weep, mourners are comforted, the captive is made free, Saints rejoice, the work of the Lord prospers; at this I rejoice, I forget my troubles, glory in my tribulation and praise my God that I am worthy to suffer persecution for his name's sake, and thank him that I TRAVEL THE LAND OF LIBERTY; else, I fear, by what I have seen and heard, there are some, who are great zealots and make high professions of religion who would manifest an awful spirit of intolerance against me and against others who would not bend to their measures. Thank God,
In this fair land no lawless tyrants reign,
Nor powerful kings subject the fruitful plain; No haughty Priests to subjugate the mind, To load their superstitions on the blind; No Idol gods erected in the land, Nor inquisitions rear'd within the strand. The Great "Red Dragon's" chain'd, he can but roar, His bloody crimes now shock our souls no more; With subtle wiles he only tempts and blinds, No harmless souls on flaming altars binds, Sectar'an zeal he kindles in the heart To rend and tear the flock of Christ apart; He may succeed to make the bigots say "They're on to hell who differ from our way." His machinations end, and here his ire, No power to bind dissenters on the fire. |
I find my troubles, trials and persecutions to be useful and profitable to my soul. My troubles draw me to the throne of grace for consolation, and there I am ofttimes well supplied. My trials make me the more patient, faithful, persevering and confident in God, whom I trust will deliver me out of them all. My [236] persecutions make me the more careful in my words and actions. The more humble, watchful and holy. Cause me to pray the more frequent and fervent, and the more to rejoice in him for whose name and for the sake of whose cause I am evil and falsely spoken of.
I tarried a few days in the neighborhood and held several meetings, while the spirit of God still moved upon the people, and several more were made the happy partakers of his love, and testified the remission of sins through a Saviour's blood. In Newtown I preached again to a large audience, who were attentive and some seriously impressed with the weight of truth. Thence in different places in Shenandoah preaching to average once a day, where the evidences of the spirit still attended the words of my message and where I enjoyed sweet fellowship with many who were walking the king's high way, the way of holiness. The second week in March I returned, preached in Newtown, where persecution (I mean evil speaking) was still raging against me; but people anxious to hear, some of whose hearts were reached by the spirit of God. The 2nd. Sunday in March, preached at brother R's. where the revival was still prospering and souls affected with the spirit of truth. On the week following I was preaching in different places in the neighborhood; when, on Wednesday, I was sent for to Stoverstown (Shenandoah) to preach at the burial of a dear friend of mine, who had departed this life in the place. I attended a solemn scene, a mournful sight. A weeping, bereaved widow sitting by the dead, mourning her sad loss, while her little ones participated her irreparable grief! The congregation felt the wound, and while they looked on death so nigh, they seemed to feel the importance of preparing to meet the ghastly monster. Though the widow was constrained by the ties of nature to mourn, she had a reasonable hope that her husband was safely placed in peaceful paradise. This was her comfort, and with joy checked her grief. O may I die the death of the righteous, and may my last end be like his! This was a time of solemn feelings and good desires. At night I [237] preached again in the town. The word had a good effect upon the attentive audience. The next day I returned to R's. Friday at candlelight, two miles distant, I preached to a crowded audience, where the word had great power upon their hearts. Some wept and some rejoiced. This was at R's. son-in-law's, who was in such deep distress for his soul as beforementioned. He is now relieved of his compunction, sorrow and grief. He now feels peace with God; he is happy in his love and rejoices in hope of future glory.
On Saturday, 21st of March, 1812, I returned to R's. and having made up my mind, I proposed for the first time, the subject of MARRIAGE, to Christiana Rittenour; I told her if her mind was prepared, she should give me a decisive answer immediately; but to remember if she took me for a husband, she should take me as a traveller, who would ever preach the Gospel as the Lord directed, and not to be a stumbling block in my way: and if she could not answer me now, I would defer a decision one week--against that time to make her conclusion, and if she did not, I would say no more to her on the subject. The answer was deferred. At candlelight ten miles from this place, I preached at brother L's. near the Round Hill, where the presence of the Lord refreshed and comforted the hearts of some and caused others to weep. On the next day (Sunday) at the Round Hill, to a large assembly. Some wept, some said I preached the truth, others said nay; but he deceiveth the people. From thence to brother E's. S's. and W's. in Shenandoah, and then in Newtown, in which places I preached to attentive congregations, and felt and saw that the Lord was with me.
On Saturday 28th, I returned to R's. when the subject of marriage was decided on between Christiana and myself. Her consent was agreeable to her parents. On the next day I preached twice in the neighborhood, to large congregations, and the people much affected. There are many now in these parts who are seeking Jesus and breaking off their sins by righteousness. Many have found the pearl of great price, and rejoice in God their Saviour. Many are reforming their lives [238] and have become sober, serious and attentive to the word of God. Many hard hearts are softened, while the eyes flow with tears at the name of Jesus. A number testified their faith in the great Redeemer and are joined in fellowship to serve the Lord's Christ. They take the word of God for their guide and government and Jesus for their head, master and ruler. Much love and union are now manifested among them. They are persecuted but they rejoice in the things that are unseen. They are small, weak and despised in the world, but are strong in faith, giving glory to God. O what seasons of joy, happiness, comfort and great consolations I have experienced among them, while Jesus has been calling up the dear travail of his soul. On Monday at candlelight I preached in Newtown to a large audience, which appeared to be impressed with great solemnity and behaved with decency and attention, only a preacher, who, muttering out contradiction, abruptly left the house! I then went on preaching every day, during the week, in different places in Shenandoah, where I still saw the Lord attended his word to the hearts of many, but from some I met with rough dealing.
Sunday, April 5th, 1812. At 12 o'clock I preached in Stoverstown, to an attentive and solemn audience. After meeting, went to Michael Rittenour's, and in his house was married to his daughter, Christiana Rittenour, by Elder J. Foster of Winchester. On the next Tuesday at candlelight, I preached at the Round Hill, and at different places not far distant, during the week. On Saturday at candlelight, at R's. we had an appointment for preaching and to hear the young professors relate the goodness of God manifested to them, and give a reason of the hope that was in them, who intended to be baptised on the next day. The press of people was great. One young woman fainted! The presence of God overshadowed us. The time was remarkably solemn, affecting and joyful. Seventeen related the wonders of pardoning love, wrought upon their souls. In this number there was one who had come in at the sixth hour, about eleven years old, and one at the eleventh hour, above sixty years of age. The former was for [239] example to the giddy, careless and wicked youth to "remember their Creator in the days of their youth." The latter an encouragement to the aged and grey headed, to turn to the Lord and they shall be received in the last hour.
Sunday 12th. At the same place were assembled fifteen hundred or two thousand people, to whom I preached on these words "go ye out into all the world and preach my gospel to every creature, he that believeth and is baptised shall be saved and he that believeth not shall be damned." The people were attentive and solemn and the spirit of the Lord moved upon many, while some felt deep sorrow and contrition for their sins, and some were transported with ineffable joy. After sermon, the report of my then having a wife and family in the State of Ohio, which had obtained a considerable circulation, and likely among some to have a bad bearing against me, was brought forward before the congregation; its falsehood detected, and its foundation confounded, proved to be erroneous and false. After this we repaired near two miles to the water where I proceeded to baptise seventeen, while great solemnity rested on the most of the spectators. At candlelight at R's. we had, after preaching, the Lord's supper and washing of feet administered to the dear humble disciples, who now appeared willing to follow the Saviour in all his ordinances and commandments written in his word, however humbling and mortifying to the proud and fleshly heart. This was a time of sweet fellowship and much love. A time of peace, unity and unspeakable happiness to the souls of believers. And a time of weeping, praying and crying to God among many of the unrighteous. This was a time when I saw about forty, united by the sweet cords of heavenly love and joined together in Christian union, determined to serve the Lord as the scripture directs. This was a day and night of extreme delight and favor to my soul. In which my rapturous anticipations transported my affections far beyond the fading beauties of creation, far above the dying objects of earth and far beyond the duration of uncertain time, to where my Saviour sits [240] enthroned in brilliant and unfading glory--where boundless oceans of uninterrupted joy, and seas of pure, impartial love destroy and swallow up all human prejudices; expand the contracted soul, where all distinctions shall be dissolved and united in one social band, to burst forth in unceasing and everlasting songs of praise. O! the wonderous thought of heaven! Of the presence of God where there is fulness of joy and pleasures at his right hand for evermore!
The peaceful nations there in union meet,
Reciprocate their bliss--each other greet; There troubles end, there keen afflictions cease, There foes unite, and pilgrims rest in peace. |
During the following week brother F. was gone to take brother G's. horse home, and to return with mine; in which time, I preached at the Round Hill, Newtown, R's. &c. and the work of the Lord appeared prosperous. On Saturday, at candlelight, held meeting in Stoverstown, where one, who was to be baptised on the next day, related what the Lord had done for her soul. Some of the brethren were satisfied with what she said, and some were not; some thought I ought to baptise her and some that I ought not, which ultimately became the cause of some contention and disunion among the brethren. Sunday 19th. in the morning before preaching a man who professed to be a Christian and had made great pretentions of friendship to me, became much offended at me for my intentions to baptise her on that day, and went so far as to abuse me with hard, unchristian language. But I was enabled, by grace, to bear it with fortitude and patience and felt sorry for the man. At 12 o'clock I preached to a large congregation; the people were solemn and attentive. We then repaired to the river where I baptised the person before mentioned. At candlelight I administered the Lord's supper and washing feet; but from what had occurred the evening and morning previous, the minds of some were hut, and I was sorry to see that the tempter and deceiver of souls had succeeded so far as to interrupt the fellowship of [241] some! Tuesday returned to R's. when brother F. had came from G's. with my creature, which was yet incapable of performing service. My father-in-law then gave me a horse. During this week I continued preaching in the neighborhood; and was also prepared to start to the southward.
Sunday 28th. At 7 o'clock I preached in Newtown, while the assembly was mostly dissolved in tears. At R's. at 12 o'clock, I bid the brethren farewell. At 8 o'clock, five miles distant, I preached to a people who were mostly careless and unaffected, and what I said seemed to do but little good. I then returned to R's. The time was now near when I was to start on my travels to the south; and as my wife was going with me it was not convenient for brother F. to go, so he concluded to continue in this part of the country some time longer. By this time his improvement was beyond the highest expectations. He had now became not only fluent but popular in preaching. He could now also write a good and legible hand, with having obtained a considerable knowledge of several useful sciences. His manners are now acceptable and pleasing. He is a young man of genuine piety and holy zeal for the good of souls. He bids fair for a good, great and excellent man. I see but one imperfection that may be of injury to him. He is too easy turned. He has endured many persecutions and trials with me the preceding winter with much patience and fortitude. I am glad that he can now go forth bearing precious fruits and sowing the good seed of the word of God to sinful men. May he turn many from darkness to light and from the power of Satan unto God. May he stand fast in the LIBERTY wherewith Christ hath made him free, while he goes forth proclaiming the glad tidings of peace to them that are afar off and to them that are near. May he ever bear his testimony against prejudice, party and division, while he declares the necessity of union, amity and peace among God's people and the all-sufficiency of the scriptures.
April 30th. I left my father-in-law's, my wife with me, under expectations of returning in twelve months, and [242] went on and the first Sunday in May preached in Fall's church, in Fairfax County. Then at several times in the neighborhood, where I saw but little prospect of good being done. Thence in Alexandria, Dumfries, Stafford Court House and Fredericksburg, where I met with my dear old brother C. and his kind family again, and had a happy time in preaching the word of God in his house. Then to W. G's. whom I though was indulging in vanity and the things of the world, and where I was delayed three days by a great fall of rain. In leaving this place and going a few miles we came to a creek which was yet full and very rapid. Fearing to venture in at first with the gig, I unhitched and we rode double on the horse into the stream, but soon found the horse washing down the current, while the water nearly covered his back. My wife was soon swept off the horse into the water, but I had the good luck to catch her hand, and while I remained on the horse and holding her he conveyed us to where the water was not dangerous, but the bank too steep to ascend. I then hitched the horse and with some difficulty conveyed my wife on shore and returned for the gig; getting a little beyond the middle of the stream a buckle of the trace and the haim string broke, and while the horse went on, the gig was left behind; and I found much difficulty and danger before we all could escape from the creek. After leaving this stream, in going a few miles, we came to another, by appearance, full as dangerous. In getting to the bank we came out of the gig, about which time the horse became frightened and took the stream, while a number of books which I had in the gig with some other articles, were tossed out and lost in the water, while we were left behind. But the horse being pretty well cooled by the time he went over, was willing to stop on the opposite shore. This gave room for hazard and exertion on my side to cross the stream (as there was no log near) to get the horse and take my wife over; which I did, and we escaped without personal injury. We then went on to brother W's. where we were kindly received and comforted, at which place I had been, when I was a young beginner, with [243] preacher W. this was an evening of reflection and meditation with me, and though attended with seriousness, produced last impressions of good on my mind and sweet consolation to my soul.
In this neighborhood I preached twice; once was a solemn, weeping time among the people. Here a man gave me three dollars, which I needed and accepted, and for which I felt thankful to God, as I looked upon him as the Author of all my favors; who watched over, preserved and provided for me. Here I was offered a small tract of land if I would settle myself and preach in the neighborhood, but to this I could not agree as I felt a greater duty to travel at large.
From thence I went on to Richmond, and was overtaken taken by a tremendous thunder gust, wind and rain. The road was disagreeable, and in some places dangerous, but we arrived safely at brother W's. in the City. From this place to brother Gill's near Petersburg, I was much bewildered in the way, but late in the night I arrived there, weary, hungry, and depressed by gloomy thoughts. My companion in life is my companion in trials and difficulties; but, I am glad she bears them with patience and fortitude. In this neighborhood, I preached several time where I saw evidence that the Lord attended his word with power to the hearts of some. Here I saw my Gospel son Z. H. who continues faithful in spreading the Gospel, and, I am told, is useful to the souls of many. From this place I went on up the country preaching almost every day; crossed Roanoke river in North Carolina, and called at brother M's. in Warren County; preached in Liberty meeting house, to a large and attentive congregation, where I was opposed by T. M. a preacher. His age demanded respect, but his zeal was not according to knowledge. Thence to the White Plains and several other places, to Hillsborough, and from there to my mother's, who I found alive and in good health, and was glad to see, after an absence of one year and eight months, in which time I had travelled about seven thousand miles, preached four hundred and sixty times, and saw about ninety two souls delivered from their sins and brought from death unto life! [244]
Arriving here, my wife was much fatigued with travelling and I was afraid she would not bear the heat of the climate further south; and after preaching a few times in the neighborhood, I left her with my mother and went on through Guilford, Stokes and Surry into Grayson and Wythe counties, in Virginia, preaching to average once a day, generally to large and attentive congregations. In Grayson county I was rejoiced to see that a great reformation had taken place among the people since I first visited them with the Gospel. Their meetings for music and dancing were turned to the worship of God; while solemnity rested on their countenances and serious reflection occupied their minds. Drunkenness, swearing and many other vices were now scarcely known, and it was now as seldom to hear of a frolic, as it was once to hear of preaching. Methodist and Baptist societies were now established here, among many of whom I enjoyed some sweet seasons of friendship and heavenly love.
I then returned on the same route and arrived at my mother's where my wife was, about the 10th of July, after an absence of four weeks.
I now contemplated a transient residence here, as my flesh and strength were much exhausted and broken down, and circumstances would not admit my constant travelling without some cessation and rest; and for this purpose I bought fifty acres of land, part of which I paid for with my horse and the balance in money, and began to improve it. I now preached on Sabbath days, and sometimes oftener, in different places in the neighborhood. But before long many of the professors of religion began to raise the hue-and-cry against my doctrine. And as I did not preach for money, nor for party, but offered free salvation to all, on a compliance with the Gospel, and inculcated universal charity, and a general union among all denominations; and as the people were not only anxious to hear, but many apparently willing to embrace, the things they heard, it seemed to be the interest and great concern of several preachers to alarm the people and warn them against me. And as the spirit of the great revival, before mentioned, had subsided [245] about here, bigotry and party spirit again predominated. It was considered, in some of the churches, as a crime, worthy of examination, trial, and, perhaps, excommunition, for a member to hear me preach. Meeting-house doors were shut against me; several private families would not suffer me to speak of religion in their houses for fear I might warp their minds from Presbyterianism, Metodism, or some other ism; and one man ordered me out of his house and to begone off his plantation, and for no other reason than that he said I preached the Devil's doctrine, and was an imp of hell, (hard language for a christian) because I would have all men to be saved and come unto the knowledge of the truth; and had said that Jesus Christ died for all men. I had several places erected in the woods to preach at, and even there preachers would attend to oppose me and disturb the congregations, and ordered me that I should not preach at these places; but the owners of the land pleased to let me, so I stuck to them. It seemed no hard thing now for a preacher in his pulpit to say of me that I ought to be put in prison--should be closed in a dungeon--should not be suffered to preach; and, one, that I, with all my books, ought to be burnt! I now began almost to think that the times of strife and vengeance had rolled back to days of yore, when one christian could triumphantly cut off the head of another, and rejoice to see a brother dissenter expire in the flames; and that it was but the laws of the land that withheld the vengeance of their ire from falling with full force on me;--for a heart that wishes a person in prison, in a dungeon, &c. would put him there if he did not gear the law. Is this the religion of Jesus Christ? Would the religion of Jesus put a deist, atheist, the most impious infidel, or the most licentious wretch that ever lived into prison, to death, or to the flames? If so, why did not its author set the example? Why did not the Lord Jesus in the first place commence this system of destruction upon the Scribes and Pharisees, who manifested such a spirit of malevolence, opposition and hatred against the doctrine he taught? Why did he not answer the intemperate request of one of his offended disciples and call fire down from Heaven [246] to consume the Samaritans who would not receive him? Why did he not drive the Scribes, Pharisees, Hypocrites, Sadducees, Unbelievers, and all who did not tamely submit to his measures, into prison, and huddle them up, like frightened goats, in dark and starving dungeons; while he would shew an example of still greater terror, by hanging, burning and destroying by gibbets, blocks and inquisitions the lives of thousands? Why did he not strictly forbid any from casting out devils, or from doing any good thing in his name, who would not precisely follow after the first disciples he sent out? We can find no such example manifested in all the actions of his life, who said he came not to destroy men's lives but to save them. And his precepts perfectly correspond with the example which he gave. His disciples were commanded not to kill, not to persecute, not to forbid, not to revile, not to threaten, not to judge. But to suffer, to bear, to endure, and to be faithful to the end that they might be saved. Where then, thought I, is your religion, without a strict obedience to the example and precepts of the meek and lowly Saviour: it may be in your heads but not in your hearts; it may be of the world but not possibly of Christ. When I would go to the meetings of these people, how they would preach and tell us to love one another! How I could see them weep, hear them shout,1 see them fall down, and hear them tell how they loved God. But alas! thought I, and here I would not think loud, but would wish others to think, but think silently to themselves, what constitutes a Christian?
In this strife and opposition there were none more industrious or subtile than the man alluded to in the 30th page and 14th line from the bottom. This man spent much time in going from place to place to warn the people against me, telling them that if I was let alone and the people would continue to hear me, I would destroy all religious society) I suppose he must have meant religious bigotry and party spirit) that I did not consider Jesus Christ any thing more than a common good man, [247] and that mankind after death were no more than the beasts; and many other things equally erroneous and absurd. But notwithstanding all this, the Lord was with me and enabled me to continue to declare his word with faithfulness, and frequently with power, while my congregations were generally large and attentive; while I made it a point to let people judge for themselves; to say nothing in retaliation to what was spoken against me, or make any defence; but confined myself to the Gospel of my great Saviour. I was led to know that I was suffering persecution for Christ's sake, inasmuch as I now preached the same doctrines that I had frequently preached in this part of the country before. The same which had been approbated in the pulpits by different preachers; the only difference, I was then a transient character and now apparently settled; and now fears arose that I would make a party and draw away some from ----------. As persecution, I suffered it and rejoiced in my tribulation.
About the first of January, 1813, I commenced teaching school for a three month's term; and even in this was religious bigotry discovered; as some of the professors would not send their children to school to me for fear I would prejudice and turn them from the religion, of their fathers! About the 10th an alarming circumstance occurred, and is as follows: We were then living in a new unfinished house, the chimney only being partly built up. A great many dry pine shavings, planks and pieces, in, under and about the house, and a large fire on the fire-place when lo! as my wife, mother and myself were sitting by, being some time in the night, a furious gust of wind fiercely attended with thunder and lightning came up from the west and poured down the chimney and blew the fire in every direction over the floor and under the house, and the wind being in a whirl it broke the doors open, and while the trees were crashing, thunder roaring, our hearts failing, the shavings were kindling rapidly under the house. The house stood the shock of wind, the hardest of which soon passed over, by which time we had a large fire among the fuel, kindling into the planks of the floor, &c. Then [248] with hard and fearful exertion we exhausted the fire without sustaining much damage. This, at first, was surely a sincere trying time, as I fully apprehended death was certain; and then a fearful, dangerous time, as I thought the house and all that was in it would be consumed, and after the fear and danger subsided it was also a time of thankfulness and praise to God, for the blessings of his preservation and goodness; as I considered it was he who saved us, by his powerful care, from the destroying winds of the stormy winds and from the fire's consuming rage.
About the first of February I was taken (I think) with the white swelling pain in my right shoulder, and was soon unable to move that arm in the least; which was so incessant and severe that I could sleep nor eat but little. And here can but notice and wonder at the nature of man. Though the sick and afflicted should, above all others, he compassionated, yet, while I was in this sorely distressed situation, I was visited by none, who would not so much as gather me fuel for my fire, unless it was a brother, who would sometimes come two miles for that purpose. No pen can describe the racking and excruciating nature of the pain I endured; while I was often disgusted on reflection, at the ingratitude and hard heartedness of man. How many years (thought I) have I labored, have I freely sacrificed, how many toils endured, and lonesome journey's went, dangers passed; how many trials and persecutions borne for the good of souls; and now alas! I see the reward I am to meet with from men! The reward given by men to those who rendered the greatest services to the world, came under my consideration; and as the sufferings of those great personages, the scorn, the malice and neglect with which they met, came to my view, I was consoled and thought surely then, such an unworthy being as I, should endure and patiently submit. The old prophets of God were must resorted to and frequently flattered when all was well with them, but despised, neglected and left when in prison. Though some times hundreds and thousands followed the Saviour at anothertime all men forsook him. And though [249] I had many admirers and flatterers in my neighborhood when I was able to do them service; but now I found I had no friend!
Seven weeks I was afflicted with this pain before I could move my arm, which was as sore a time to my flesh and as trying to my soul as I had ever passed. If the reader will excuse me, I will observe one thing, among many of the kind, that might be mentioned. About this time it was circulated, and too generally believed, that I was not married, but had ran away with Mr. R's. daughter without his knowledge or consent; and that my present affliction was considered a judgment from God, for my wickedness. In such trying moments religion is good. And what I mean by religion is not merely a pompous profession or an outward attachment to a sect or party, but a consciousness of innocent, rectitude before God. A heart that freely forgives the faults of others, that sincerely prays for enemies, that blesses them who curse him, and that feels forgiven and justified before God through the blood of the great redeemer. This is a source of comfort when severe afflictions strike, when enemies surround and earthly dependencies flee away. I could now appeal to God and rejoice in him who had never forsaken me, and, who I fully believed, would deliver me out of all my troubles.
About the first of April my school expired and my shoulder had healed up (for it had been lanced) and the pain entirely removed from me. At this time I began to put a small crop in the ground, intending, and preparing, to travel the most of the summer if the Lord permitted. I now bought a horse of my brother Jacob, on credit for one hundred dollars. Shortly afterwards became his security for the payment of seventy dollars.
I now began to make excursions of preaching while persecutions continued and the spirit of the Lord ceased not to follow me. On the 10th of May, with my wife, I left that part of the country (while my mother kept our house) and started for my father-in-law's in Frederick County, Va. In ten days, passing through some dangers, and meeting with two remarkable instances of [250] God's care and compassion, we arrived there, where we saw all the family in good health but the father, who then was as was thought upon the point of death. On the next day (21st of May, I preached at this place to a large congregation, and felt truly thankful that my heavenly father had preserved and brought me through so many severe trials, and permitted me once more to address the people, after an absence of twelve months, with whom I had enjoyed so many sweet seasons of christian fellowship and divine grace. But I found by this time as the place had been almost destitute of preaching, that the spirit of revival had dwindled away and some who had professed conversion had become unwary and were betrayed into sin and sinful ways again. In this part of the country, at Crooked Run, Newtown, Stoverstown, Round Hill, Timber Ridge, &c. I preached almost every day for the space of three weeks; where I found much of my former persecutions had subsided. In this time, several of my friends and wife's relations solicited me to remove my residence and settle amongst them here, and as I thought I might be more useful in the ministry and perhaps better situated to travel the more, I consented to this request. I then borrowed money to settle my affairs in Carolina. Before I went thither for the satisfaction of my friends and conviction of my persecutors, in that part of the country. While about Winchester I had my sentiments (or belief) printed that all might fairly judge for themselves. In this piece I gave a few hints to one of my persecutors.
On he 10th. of June I started again for Carolina, distributing those papers gratis; and left my wife with her relations till I should return. I arrived there on the 20th. I began to settle my worldly affairs and made it known that I intended to leave those parts. I preached several time at my old stand in the woods to large congregations, while my sentiments were read with great avidity. But I soon found the man alluded to in page 30th. took those hints on himself and could not bear the truth as I had bore base falsehoods and persecution. He became so exasperated that he immediately sued me to the law. I was requested by many to [251] commence a suit against him for defamation as he had been so frequently guilty of the crime against me; but this I would not do, as it was so expressly against the precepts of my great master; but according to his word, for the truth's sake I was willing to be taken before magistrates, rulers, &c. especially in this case, as I knew truth was evident on my side and that law was only resorted to in order to fright me and get a reward to make peace, but this expectation failed. I appeared with him before a magistrate and there we were both bound to appear at the Court holden in Hillsborough in the next September.
As I was not yet prepared to pay my brother J. I gave him a deed on my land, and possession till I could lift my note from him.
On the 10th of July I started for Virginia again, and at candlelight held meeting in Casewell County, to an attentive audience. On the next day at the same place, where the people were much affected, and some rejoiced aloud in a Saviour's name. There is a great work of religion among the Presbyterians about here. At candlelight in the neighborhood, I attended with a Presbyterian preacher. He was friendly and manifested much of the Spirit of Christ. Here we preached, prayed sand together till midnight, in which time two souls professed to be happily translated into the kingdom of the son of God. Thence I preached in several places on my way. On the 20th I came to my father-in-law's, he was recovering, my wife was well.
I now bought a small situation in Kernstown, near Winchester, but did not move there immediately. I continued to travel and preach in different places in Frederick, Hampshire and Shenandoah Counties, for some weeks almost every day, in which time I met with some opposition, and saw some good appearances of the work of God. In Hampshire a Baptist, after I closed my discourse, made a public contradiction to what I had said, but he only succeeded against himself.
August 12th, 1813, my wife was delivered of a daughter--called her Sophronia.
On the 10th of September, having a friend brother [252] J. E. to go with me, I started for Carolina. I preached in Newmarket, to an attentive people, but who appeared to feel little interested in the things eternal. Then to Majr. Ward's, on Staunton river, where I preached to a large and attentive assembly, some of whom were seriously affected with the things they heard. Here I met with a man who said he was a believing Jew. He wears not hat, has no name, neither personal nor professional, never rides, dresses remarkably plain, his clothes much patched. Preaches repentance, remembers Mary, holds no controversy, public nor private, takes no money, not uses any; calls no where but where he is invited. Neither cuts his hair nor beard, professes to follow Christ in the regenerations, owns nothing in the world. He is an aged man. A great scholar, well versed in several languages; the Assyriac, Hebrew, Greek, Latin, French, German, English, &c. Profound in reason, expert in the scriptures, plain and sublime in his language. Decent, modest, and humble in his manners. Solid and convincing in his discourses. Familiarly and naturally facinating in common conversation. Never goes the same road twice, nor abides above three days in a place, but continues travelling, seeking the lost sheep of the house of Israel. On this day he preached with me. He is considered an odity. But ultimately, I can truly saw, he became, by what I saw and heard of him, the greatest blessing to me of any man.
On the 23d, I came to Hillsborough, to attend court; where the man, who sued me, came and offered to draw the suit, and leave the controversy to arbitrators, to which I agreed. As he declared to me he had no money, he requested me for money to pay the cost, about five dollars, which I let him have in loan. When the time of arbitration came on, it was likely not to be decided, when a man took us out to make up between ourselves, which we did, by his confessing that he had done wrong and was sorry for prosecuting me; and on my part that I did not intend to impeach his character in the piece I had written. Upon this we shook hands in fellowship and this conclusion was made known in the congregation then assembled, and writings taken [253] accordingly. But the subject was soon represented differently by report. This was on Saturday. On the next day I preached to a large congregation in the neighborhood, who were more than usually affected while I was speaking to them, perhaps for the last time. Reminding them what persecutions from them and for them I had borne, and with what diligence and unwearied preserverance I had endeavored to declare the whole counsel of God, that I could with a clear conscience and justified heart leave them to choose life or to choose death, and that I now felt free from their blood.
On Tuesday I, with my friend E. again started for Virginia. About the 8th of October I arrived at my father-in-law's and found all well, having preached several times on the way. On the 14th I moved and settled myself and family in Kernstown, Frederick County, Va. I here soon commenced teaching school, having concluded it would be more consistent with my situation and feelings and perhaps as profitable to the souls of men, to cease travelling and occupy my time in this way; preaching only occasionally and on Sabbath days. I now saw myself situated over the care of a family, and as such considered it proper to remain with and provide for them the things of the world. This I did with necessary and becoming industry. Yet continued faithfully attending several congregations on the Sabbath days, with making a few excursions in different directions to the distance of fifteen, twenty and thirty miles. I now found my neighbors and acquaintances generally kind and friendly, so far as respects civility. My persecutions chiefly subsided and I met with but little opposition from any. I now began to consider myself a happy many. My situation suited the turn of my mind. It was that in which I had always contemplated the greatest share of earthly felicity. Five acres of land in the vicinity of a small village, not loaded with the riches, luxuries and immersed in the cares of this life, but decently and plentifully provided to answer and satisfy the common demands of temperate nature. Blessed with an agreeable, suitable and prudent companion and a darling little daughter, who were [254] the chief joy of my heart, surrounded with neighbors, the most of whom I loved and respected, and found that those affections were duly reciprocated to me again. In my more solitary and contemplative moments, I was often wont to contrast some of my former days with the present. When I was a stranger, friendless and often pennyless, wandering distant, sometimes dangerous and often desolate roads, exposed to the rough inclemencies of all the seasons, sometimes to the rude insults of the rabble, frequently to the malignant and poisonous arrows of ungodly zeal, and to the more dangerous wiles of deceptions and false friendship. Often exposed to the extremes of hunger and weariness, not having a place provided where to lay my head. Now not so. Now I have a rural and humble mansion, where I can retreat from the storm, and repose in times of danger. If the distant slandering tongue now tosses my name afar indignantly, and misrepresentations execrate my memory, I hear them not; therefore they cannot disturb the peace and safety of my soul while here retired. Here, (thought I) let me live. Lord let me ever enjoy the peaceful felicities of domestic, humble, retired and rural life. And while I live continue to favor me with the light of thy countenance and with the true guidance of thy holy spirit. Let me be no more constrained to wander the world, to leave this humble spot, this more desired sphere. But while I am circumscribed in my travels and my Gospel labors abridged, help me to feed the flocks of thy people now under my care, with the sincere milk of the word, and lead them forth from pasture to pasture till we all may eventually arrive in the fair unbounded fields of thy Glory, and rest together in the delightful mansions of thy love. Help me to live a pattern of fervent piety, meekness, temperance, long suffering, charity, and of good works; and here let me have the enjoyment of a clean heart, a peaceful mind and guiltless soul. Here "let me die the death of the righteous and let my last end be like his." These were some of the lonely effusions (as I thought) of my resignation from the exposures of public warfare, as I retired to that located station of a "county Clergyman" which I [255] ardently desired and fully expected to enjoy the remainder of my days on earth; not knowing that the Lord intended to deal with me as he shortly afterwards began and continued to do. The least thoughtful that I should so shortly be more singularly and powerfully exercised in my mind than I had ever yet been; or that I should yet have to bear a greater cross and suffer more for the cause of Christ than I had before experienced.
During the first six succeeding months I peacefully enjoyed my home and rested in the bounds of my retirement; while my mind, exercised on little more than the recollection of past services, or was impressed with more than officiating (as I did) in the duties of my neighborhood. Neither did any thing important, during this time, occur with me more than I have related, which was a short time of bodily and mental tranquillity and rest with me, which I have since oft times looked upon as the most interesting space of time with me that ever rolled away, as I have considered it a prelude to those singular and important exercises which immediately after began to take place with me. As a time like an interval between too mighty storms. The first appears stretching its black and fearful skirts around the distant sky, loaded with electric matter, muttering vengeance, peal after peal, with loudest thunder, till storms and tempests collect their force and with impetuous rage drive fury over a quaking world, prostrating the lofty pine; the sturdy oak is plucked by the roots, devastation glares around, while the flexile reed eludes the blast and stands unhurt amid the mighty storm. But the chief commander of the æriel battles commands a cessation of arms. The dashing torrents cease, tremendous thunders hush, the roaring winds are calmed and the clashing clouds are rolled away. The serene and tranquil sky appears, the brilliant sun bursts forth with redoubled splendor, and universal composure pervades the world. The charm'd spectator stands contemplative, and views with pleasure the lovely face of nature. And while he reflects on the turbulent dangers passed away and flatters himself with along repose the sky grows dark fresh squadrons let loose again, and roll their pillory weapons to the fight. The [256] heart renews her trembling; the terrors of the storm alarm her fears afresh, while safe retreat is sought with speed. But alas, his dome, his cot, or his cell is soon invaded. His munition is shaken, while he implores, unsheltered in the storm. He stands exposed to battering hail the dashing torrents pour upon him while fearful whirlwinds rave around; he looks abroad he sees no safety near, nor can he hope for a calmer sky. Now he trusts, and only trusts the greater ruler of the storm to save him, and fears nought.
About the first of June, 1814, still remaining in the situation before described, I was led into a more serious, honest deliberate and general consideration of the things of religion, than I had ever passed before. I had ever seen an evil, dangerous and destructive nature in the sectarian names, principles and divisions as discovered under the name religion; but now their origin, object and end were more fully brought to my view. Religion, as introduced by the great Saviour, in its pure and undefiled state, was one, and undivided in all its principles; and whatsoever tends to divide it either in name, doctrine, or practice originates in darkness, and certainly has for its object the interests of men, the emoluments and fashions of the world. And that, under the name of religion, the lust of the flesh and the pride of life might be indulged, and end of which was to be the total subversions and final overthrow of Christianity. Ambitious men have appeared in the cause of religion. Pride, with all the corruptions of the human heart, instigated and influenced by the enemy of all righteousness, have pushed some men forward and they have become conspicuous in the cause. Such men have been admired, and that they might be distinguished, they have embraced and propagated sentiments of their own, mixing them with the word of God. In this way they have gained proselytes and followers. That those followers may be known, they generally take the name of the man who is considered their leader, and under this name they constitute a church. Thus almost every man that can bring forward any thing new under the name of [257] religion, has established a church and become the leader of a party; which parties are sure to differ from each other in name, in sentiment, in forms and in rules. They soon distinguish themselves from each, by persecuting one another. They soon find pride and self-interest to be powerful motives to the promotion of their party; and to increase, promote and aggrandize the one, the others must be set at nought and pulled down. To this end, the strongest part considers herself orthodox, and those who differ from her are considered heretics deceivers, holding the doctrine of devils, &c. and thinks it is doing God's service, to avail every opportunity to extirpate them from the earth, or to punish them to the extent of their power. Thus the name of religion has been substituted for a pretext to the most abominable crimes and dreadful slaughters ever committed among mankind! And even in the present day, in this free and enlightened country, though there are none punished, tortured burnt nor slain under the name of religion, the same spirit of persecution predominates in the hearts of thousands, and only wants the law to favor its horrid purposes. In this country we can hear almost every professor of religion extolling, boasting and recommending their own sect and system, while they shamefully indulge in backbiting, reproaching and anathematizing others. And while they excuse and favor the faults and even try to hide the crimes of those who belong to their own party, they will proclaim, and with seeming pleasure, reprobate the actions and triumph in the imperfections of others. They will dispraise and disapprobate their good performances; and, though they may be as good as Saint Paul, they will have no religious communication and fellowship with them, unless they are of the same name, or profession. Preachers boast their numbers and sound the sentiments of their party, while they frequently expose (as they think) the errors of others, and alarm their hearers against every thing, as "false doctrine" that differs from what they have delivered. Preachers of different professions seldom get room to sit in one pulpit together. They are generally as separate, as distant, and as [258] opposed to each other as though they all preached a different Saviour, walked a different road, and were aiming for a different heaven! And is this the religion of the New Testament, is it agreeable to the criterion of heaven and consistent with the laws of Jesus? If so, better had Jesus never came into the world! But religion is lost in these things.
Here I was led to contemplate religion in its pure, spiritual and genuine nature, in precept and example, in experience and in practice. To this end I was directed in my mind to view its great Author when manifested in the flesh. His doctrine was pure, heavenly, incontestible and not controversial. He said nothing in derision, nor pronounced anathemas against the opposite sects; but in every instance confined himself to a plain, simple, but powerful revelation of truth. And in that word of truth (the New Testament) which relates to the deportment or example of his life, and what is there enjoined by precept upon his followers, constitutes his religion and nothing else can. Here I was shocked, as with tenfold thunder, at the deceived situation of thousands; and while I considered the stores of vengeance treasuring up for their leaders, I trembled for myself.
And here I will only say (though I have many things to speak unto you but ye are not able to bear them now) that in the great revelations made known to me, though I saw myself in as safe a situation as any of my professing brethren in the ministry, I saw such deficiency and deviations from the true Gospel that I had to forget others and deplore my own condition.
I now felt convicted, that I was confined to the world; or, that I was seeking many of its riches, pleasures and enjoyments. I was soon convinced that I (with the most that follow preaching) had not been following the example as given by Jesus Christ; neither had I been going as the first disciples went, when they preached the Gospel. I also saw that I had greater things to do and a greater cross to bear if I followed Christ in the regeneration than I yet had done. It was made plain to me that I must again, more fully than at first, give up all the prospects, pleasures and [259] enjoyments of this present world, and take up my cross and follow Christ. And in following Christ, both his example and precept were conspicuous to and more powerful on my mind. He was rich, but he became poor; and though he was heir of all things, yet he possessed nothing in this world. He had a family, but he forsook them to preach the Gospel of his kingdom. He travelled on foot to proclaim the word. The article or manner of dress came into view and was considered no small thing. The precept, he gave to his first preachers, I saw, was answerable to the example. Mark 6, 7, &c. in a word, I saw, that if I preached the Gospel, I must follow the example and obey the precept so plainly manifested and so powerfully impressed upon my mind, or else not preach at all. Here the pride of my heart (though I was seldom taken to be a proud man) was discovered and detected. As I saw the way marking out for me to travel, in my future preaching, my heart rose up in opposition to it, despised and rejected it and formed a thousand excuses. I soon saw, if I became obedient to the true and unerring operations of the spirit on my mind, it be would be despicable and mortifying to my proud and stubborn will and to my flesh and selfish notions in the extreme. The persecutions, derisions, mockeries, ridicule, and the various difficulties consequent to an obedience, were apprehended, feared and trembled at. I found those exercises pressing closely and disagreeably on my mind; and to drive away and overcome them, I brought forward the many important excuses and objections with which my heart was full, against such a course of life. To give up the prospects of the world now before me, to forsake the enjoyments of my rural and domestic felicities, and to become as dependant as the fowls of heaven, and to be exposed to the scorn of the world and to the gainsayings and oppositions of carnal professors seemed to be too hard for flesh and blood to bear. In this case it appeared that my family would suffer, which would be, not only hurtful to my feelings, but contrary to scripture. And to walk to preach, I thought, I could not, in consequence of my lame leg. To leave [260] for weeks, or months, my wife and child, who were so closely endeared to me, to the bounties of an unseen hand, seemed to be uncertain and ungrateful with me. In this way I was exercised for weeks and months, having much of the deception, many of the lucrative and carnal objects, the interesting and (which I shall not now express) designs of many of the ministry, revealed to me; and having the all-important duties devolving on me made known, of coming out into the world in a true example, to follow Christ. Keeping those exercises as private as possible and not having given up to bear the cross forwarded to me, I was sore vexed and grieved in the spirit, till in truth I could say "the burden of the Lord is upon me." My mind was like the troubled Ocean. My hours of sleep were disturbed and the business of the day often interrupted by the agitation of my feelings. My flesh grew lean and my appetite failed. My soul grew unhappy and as I felt disposed to withstand the operations of my mind, I became the more miserable. I now sought for peace, but without a consent to my duty, I found none. When I would now preach I felt but little or no consolation, and as I saw I was not shewing the Apostolic example, my faith was too weak to believe that it would do my hearers much good. I sometimes felt willing in my mind to travel and preach the Gospel in the customary way, or in the way and manner I had done for years, with a fashionable dress (though I had worn a common round breast coat) with money in my purse, &c. &c. but alas! this and preaching controversy, sentiments of the head for and against party, would not be complying with my duty, not consistant with the Gospel, nor obeying the spirit of God, and to go out in this fashion I might as well not go at all, and any other mode or manner of travelling I almost resolved not to undertake.
In September I took a route in the common way, of near two weeks into Shenandoah, and preached almost every day; but this gave but little comfort, as I could not see myself fully redeemed from the fashion of the world, nor obediently following the Saviour in the regeneration and wondered why the people did not remark [261] my inconstancies, to me by contrasting my garb, my manner, my form, &c. with that of Jesus Christ. In order to frustrate my exercises and to make myself the more excusable and happy in disobeying the operations of my mind, I thought I would for a while, change the place and situation of my residence, and while on this route I acceded to a proposal made me to take up a school four miles north of Woodstock, but only engaged for three months.
October 29th, 1814, I removed my family, took my residence in that place and immediately commenced the school; continuing as usual, to preach at different places in the neighborhood on Sabbath days, while my mind was still laboring to disregard the impressions and to turn the example of Christ and the Apostles into fanaticism and superstition, when imitated by a man in the present state of things and in the region of this climate. But all my struggles against truth so plain were impotent, and all my sophisms, excuses and objections against following the example of Christ, turned to my condemnation and guilt.
About the first of December, I received a letter from Carolina stating that my brother had sold my possessions there (which had cost me upwards of eight hundred dollars) as his own, and still retained my note!! This circumstance, at this time, sounded to me as being one of the disasters which were intended by the Almighty to fall on me for my disobedience.
The exercise of mind seemed at last to come to an ultimate issue, and my choice was laid before me. Calamity, sickness and death glared before me and seemed to wait on my disobedience, and I had awful fears if I died I would be cast away, without complying with the late manifestations made known to me. And notwithstanding all my former obedience and right conduct in the things made known to me, as I had now received much greater light and knowledge of the nature and practice of religion, and especially of a preacher's duty, if I did not obey, and now act accordingly, all I had done should not be remembered in my favor. But on my obedience I could see all the gracious promises [262] of the Gospel waiting to attend me. I could see my excuses vain, unimportant and of a worldly nature. My objections completely removed, and all my deficiencies and future wants abundantly supplied. Hope and fear now took possession of my breast and fought, for weeks, with incessant strife for the mastery. Hope conquers, my soul yields, and obedience promised.
The way which was evidently marked out for me now was, "that I should esteem nothing on earth my own; that I must forsake the prospects and advantages of the world, and leave my family, while I must go forth and preach the Gospel; and when I preach I must mind the mission given by out Lord to the seventy, when "they went out and preached that men should repent," and to the twelve, say unto them the kingdom of God is come nigh unto you--to preach no controversy, no ism nor scism, but teach the love of God to all men, repentance and faith in Jesus Christ, the true spiritual nature and practices of religion, and to hold arguments about it with no man, lest I excite contention and thereby miss the example Jesus set. That I should travel on foot unless some emergency might require a horse. That I should take nothing for my journey, no purse, nor scrip, &c. &c. See Mark, 6th. Luke 10th. and Mat. 10th. And that I should deny the present fashion of dress, both as it relates to the cut and the colour, and particularly to refuse black; and a white robe was the covering I should appear in, to represent my travelling in great tribulation to meet with those who are clothed in white around the throne of God, and that I should be girded about the loins agreeably to the word of God."
Finally, after many hard struggled in my spirit, I gave up to obey and promised the Lord God if he would be with me and prepare my way before me I would follow my Saviour in all the duties made known to me, though it might draw down on me the scorn, derision and the gainsayings of all the world. When I consented to undergo a constant and faithful course of obedience, my mind became happy and my soul was more sublimely and profoundly transported with the sweets of religion [263] then ever before. As I was stripped of all self-dependance, the notions and doctrines of my own head confuted, and the pride of my nature crucified and humbled to the cross of Christ; I then immediately saw beauties which had ever been concealed from me, beam forth in my Saviour, saw a greater fulness in him; felt a more preciousness and a sufficiency in his promises, than I knew before; for as I felt dead to the world, as it had lost its charms with me, and I feared not its reproaches, I was alive in Christ, as I was nothing in myself he was all. He was my only friend, and the one sufficient to support me under and deliver me from all the trials and cruel mockings which I in future apprehended.
I now sold my possession in Kernstown to the man of whom I bought it, sold my horse (I had but the one) &c. put off my fashionable clothing (I mean the garb in which preachers generally appear) from head to foot, and dressed agreeably to the impressions of my mind and to the directions of scripture, and began to settle my little business in the world, preparing to leave all to follow Christ and to go out and preach his gospel in old style.
In the month of May, 1815, I was free from the incumbrances and attachments of the world and was ready to follow the directions of the Holy Spirit in going forth to declare the word of truth, only I had previously engaged myself to teach a school for a term of three months, which would not expire till the last of June. My change, in appearance was soon know to many, and I discovered my impressions of travelling to my patrons and desired them to let me at liberty, but they would not. And as I had to fulfil that engagement I occupied by leisure days in preaching in the manner which was soon thought to be strange and new by the people. In this time I frequently travelled and attended large congregations in the neighborhood and as far as thirty miles on foot. By this time I found that my lame leg, which I had much feared would not hold out for me to walk (for previous to this time the furthest I could walk was about three miles, and then it would pain me several days) became full as strong as the [264] other, and so far from paining me, that I felt and still feel less weary in it than in the other.
Soon after I began in this way, I preached in greater faith, knowing, that as the Lord liveth he would bless the word, and that it should answer the purpose whereunto it was sent; and I saw greater succes, more useful impressions made under it than I ever saw before. Some were convinced to their sins, some saw the ungodliness of bigotry, formality and false religion, and began to enquire what they should do to be saved. The few of God's people that I could find humbly rejoiced in the mission I proclaimed. Two souls were brought to the truth, felt the pardon of their sins and redemption in the blood of Christ. The impressions now made, I knew, by the consistency of the scriptures and from the promises of God, were true, genuine and of a lasting nature. And though those natural and passionate feelings which are frequently excited and erroneously taken for religion, were more seldom produced than formerly, yet I saw and I knew that my message fell with divine authority on my hearers; convincing, convicting and comforting them while in silent, solemn attention. I now felt the cross of Christ and knew religion was not conformed to the fashion and spirit of this world, and that he who "loved the world, the love of the father is not in him." In some short journeys and in going as far as New Market (about thirty miles) performing it in three days and preaching seven times, on my return, my feet being much blistered, an old professor said to me, "well, Thomas won't this beat you out of your foolish notion of following Christ." I told him I thought not, as it yielded me so much joy to suffer for his sake.
July 6th, 1815. On Thursday I gave up my family to God and the word of his grace, exhorting my wife to trust in the abundant mercies and in the rich and faithful promises of our Heavenly Father for all things to enjoy, while I was called to be absent from her to declare the truth from heaven to men, and left her in the care of Almighty God who is good unto all that call upon him and started--as in the midst of wolves--as a pilgrim [265] having nothing prepared for my journey save what the scriptures direct, in Mark 6, 7, to travel a world, now, strange to me and I strange to it, and front a crooked and perverse generation, to preach repentance and forgiveness of sins. My course was directed down the country. At candlelight I held meeting at brother B's. While preaching, my soul was much comforted, as it appeared the word had a good effect upon them who heard it. My manner of preaching was now seemed to be as different to my old friends from what it formerly was, as my clothing appeared to be. As I sang but little (sometimes none at all) generally sat and taught the people, sometimes without the introduction of prayer made to be heard by men, uttered no controversy, no doctrine against, nor in favor of any society from my mouth.
Friday, 7th. It rained incessantly all day. In the afternoon I went six miles to preach at W. Smith's. I was very wet, but felt much consolation in my spirit. At candlelight I delivered my message to those whom I found at the place. Some good was done, as I felt the spirit of Christ influencing me to declare his truth without contention. On the next day at candlelight, I preached, at brother E's., repentance and forgiveness of sins to those who came to hear. My faith was strong and I spake with much power, so that some will not forget the feelings made upon their minds by my message as long as they live.
Sunday, 9th. At 11 o'clock I delivered my message to a large congregation at my father-in-laws's. Some were deeply and powerfully operated upon by the Holy Spirit and wept much. This day they could not resist the spirit and power by which I was enabled to speak, for I spake as one having authority and not as the scribes. At this meeting some professors were convinced that they were not as holy as they ought to bel others were comforted. At 4 o'clock I held meeting in the neighborhood to an attentive people, much wrought upon by the power of truth. At candlelight at my father-in-law's again, and had the Lord's supper and washing of [266] feet administered. This was a solemn time to sinners, while a few ere very happy in the Lord.
Some time before I attended here it was reported for a very serious fact, that "Thomas had lost his senses and had run crazy;" hence I obtained the name of crazy Thomas. On this day numbers of my acquaintances came to see if this was true, and then their various opinions formed. Some said one thing, some another. I told the people the nature of my change, That it was not a change, nor a conversion from any known sin, but from the errors, contentions, mistakes and from the worldly appearance and fashions of the world, which I, with the generality of preachers, had so grossly and evidently fallen into! And that in this change I had received a greater discover of truth, and a more genuine experience of true religion, and a greater share of real and solid joy than is common, or than I had formerly known.
From thence I preached at the Round Hill to a people, some of whom did not like the truth so plain, as it did not favor their formality, hypocrisy nor their divisions. But a few felt the softening power of the word of God and wept under its divine operations. From this place I went on to Timber Ridge, and on the 13th I delivered the message of God to the people, in the house of T. A. I spake with much liberty and in strong faith, and truly the Lord was with me. While I was declaring that men should repent all who heard me wept sore and appeared to be convinced of their sins and their distance from God. After I had my work there I went five miles, on Capon Creek, to Mr. S's. who received me kindly. On the 14th, at candlelight, I declared the whole counsel of God to the people at brother Arnold's (a Baptist;) I taught them the necessity and nature of repentance and faith in Christ, and the Christian's duty in his walk and conversation, saying if they did not act according to this rule that it would be much better for the cause of religion to give up their profession and be hypocrites no longer. Some felt their need in the Saviour by their sighs and tears. My faith led me to believe that my labor was not vain [267] in the Lord, but that good would spring forth after many days. I tarried all night at the place, while A. and myself conversed about the things of the kingdom till near the dawn of day. He said, as old as he was, he had never seen, till now, a man sit to preach. I told him I was sorry that pride had introduced and custom perpetuated so many deviations from the Gospel and had established many forms for vital religion, and that he had lived so long without seeing this part of the example of Christ obeyed.
Saturday, 15th. I went eight miles up the creek and saluted the house of J. H. After some enquiry he received me and sent out word for preaching. Shortly after I came in, a man who was in the house (he was not of the house) began to enquire very strictly and abruptly of men, who I was; where I had been and where I was going to, &c. I told him my name; I told him I had been calling sinners to repentance and that I was directing my course to NEW JERUSALEM. New Jerusalem, said he, I have heard of that place but I never was there; I believe it is a great distance to that place. I told him I did not know precisely the distance but I fully believed it was not sop great that I could hold out to get there. Why, said he, by what I have heard of New Jerusalem you are not in the right course; is there a big road, all the way in this direction? I told him it was very peculiar that all who started for New Jerusalem and kept on straight forward would arrive safely. He asked if that was a new settled place? I told him I had not been there--but that I had very late and correct information of the place and that I understood it was a very populous city, at least it contained one hundred and forty four thousand inhabitants. He then swore he believed that was a lie, for that was larger than Philadelphia, and he had always understood Philadelphia was the largest town in America. I believe, said he, this New Jerusalem stands on the banks of the Ohio River. No, said I, it stands on the banks of the river of the waters of life. The river of the water of life, said he, why I never heard of that river before--is that river in America? No, said I, it proceedeth out [268] from the throne of God and the Lamb. Ah! said he, now I understand you, upon which he began to curse and abuse me with uncivil language, and the man of the house coming in, told him to let me alone or else he should leave the house. In the evening brother J. E. came to this place to be at meeting with me. When I saw him I thanked God and took courage.
Sunday, 16th. I preached at this place, on the joy of one sinner that repenteth. Great solemnity rested on the people. The signs of repentance were evident in the countenances of some, while I was warning them to flee the wrath to come and inviting them to the Saviour of sinners. The old people in this place seem to be much bound up in the traditions of their fathers, but on this day, I think, some of them were convinced that they should turn to God and do works meet for repentance. On the next day I preached twice at the Capon Springs. The people were attentive and some solemnly impressed. The news had came before me that I was crazy and some were afraid to hear me!
Thursday, 18th. In the morning a lady from Culpepper, who had been diligently hearing me the day previous, came to bid me farewell, and asked me if I would receive money if it was freely offered. I told her that as long as the Lord would provide for my family I had promised obedience to him in calling men to repentance, and that it was through the kindness and liberality of the people that provision must be made. But as to myself, I said, when I walked I needed none. She said, as she wished me to prosper and continue in the cause I was now engaged in, she would present me with a mite for the use of my family, which I received as being the first that had been offered to me for more than twelve months past, which I considered an evidence of God's care and attention to provide for my wants when I was given up to seek nought but the kingdom of God and his righteousness. I then took leave of my friends who were present and went over the mountains, a rough and lonesome way, to Cedar Creek, to old friend C's. I saluted his house with peace and he received me kindly. On the next [269] day I preached in the neighborhood, at 12 o'clock, to a large congregation, who having heard strange things concerning the preacher, came more for the purpose of seeing than hearing. Some said he was John the Baptist; other said nay, but he is like unto him. Some said he had no shoes, nor hat, nor coat: others said he had, but that he was clothed like some of old time. I taught them, in full assurance that God was with me, and that his word would not turn void, but would produce the fruits of repentance and good works. The people were attentive, solemn and many wept. This was a time of strict examination in the hearts of some; while hypocrisy was exposed and the necessity of repentance proclaimed. When meeting closed I, by the Spirit, was directed to my family. To them I started, crossed a high, steep mountain, and about dark arrived safely there and found them preserved in health. In this journey I was absent fifteen days, travelled one hundred and four miles, and preached thirteen times; enjoyed great peace with God; my mind and affections being weaned from earth, I thought on heavenly things, rejoiced in the cross of Christ, and saw true success attend the words of my mission. I found that many who professed religion, and were set forth as great Christians, were foremost in representing me as being deranged and a digrace to the cause of God! Which was a convincing proof to me (and I thought might be to any who would take notice) their fashions, forms and uniforms were their religion, and as they rejected me for following the example of Christ, that if he was again to make his appearance as he once did,
Meek, condescending, humble, low,
Despising all this world below, |
declaring the same truth in the same manner, as he did, they would also as assuredly despise and reject him. Ah! what numbers who now profess to follow him and loudly praise his name, would, as he would diregard their systems and reprove the evil spirit thereof, rise up against him, and place a thousand frightful epithets upon him to alarm the world that he was an impostor, a disgrace to and a subverter of religion. Many Preachers, I fear, who now speak of his name and recommend [270] him every day, would not know him in his humble appearance, and be ashamed to walk the streets with so despised a being; and reviling him, would be looking for and desiring a more pompous show in the eyes of the respectable world!! O for that humility, that redemption from the world, that sincerity and holiness of heart which are required by, and correspondent with the life and doctrine of Jesus once exibited for the salvation of the world. O for the desires of the flesh to be crucified, the fashions and pomp of the world to die away among all those who profess the religion of that being who said to his followers "ye are not of the world but are chosen out of the world, therefore the world will hate you."
July 21st. 1815, my wife brought forth a daughter, and we named her Philomela.
Sunday 23rd, I preached in the neighborhood to a large congregation, the most of whom seemed to be much excited by curiosity. As I entered the meeting house I felt a great weight of the power of God fall upon me. While I was speaking, remarkable solemnity rested on the people; many wept bitterly, and some gave praise unto God for the things which they heard and felt. This was truly, like unto one of the days of the son of man. On this day some formal souls were alarmed, as they saw they were not walking in the narrow way that leadeth to life. Others (as I heard) were convinced of the exceeding sinfulness of sin; that they were far off from God by wicked works who resolved to cease to do evil and to seek their peace with God.
Saturday, 29th. Some of my neighbors came to see me start on a journey of preaching, in which I suspected to be absent some months. Some feared that I would faint in my mind, become weary with my undertaking and shortly return, and by that I would fall into the greater reproach; others encouraged me. About 10 o'clock I bade them adieu; exhorting them to trust in the living God and to serve him in newness of life. I particularly commended my dear companion to put her trust in that God who giveth us richly all things to enjoy; telling her I had not boubt of his kind and [271] preserving care over us; and that he would keep her and our little babe till I should return. So I gave them all up to God to save, protect, to take care of and to deliver safe to me again on my return; and with full assurance of God's protection over me, as well as over them, I started. I went on eleven miles to where an appointment for me had been sent, but the people being Baptists would not have it published. The woman was very inquisitive, and wished to know all my reasons for being so odd. I told her I did not consider myself odd and until I did, I would give no satisfaction to her foolish and unlearned questions; which Paul has told me to avoid. If, said I, a man works according to the rule of the great builder (Christ) he is not with him considered odd, but those who undertake to work and deviate from the rule, then he is considered odd. Now examine the rule, said I, and if you see me up to that rule I am even, and if I (or any other workman) do not work according to rule, then we are odd. And I think, said I, those who are considered even with the world are odd with the builder; and those who he considered even are odd only in the eyes of the world, and this convinces me, that you are yet in sin. She said she did not understand mystics. I told her to go to Jesus Christ and the New Testament and she would understand the plain truth, which now to her appeared mystical. I then went on to a little village called Mount Pleasant and was kindly received by G. Hickle.
Sunday 30th. At this place a large congregation came to hear the word of the Lord. To whom I declared repentance and remission of sins, through Jesus Christ, in the power and demonstration of the spirit, and the grace of God was manifested to the people. Many wept under the conviction and sight of their sins, and all appeared solemnity affected under the weight of God's invisible presence. This was a time in which good was evidently done in the name of the holy child Jesus. Formality was roused; hypocritical pretentions to religion detected; and the evil of sin exposed.
From thence I went on, and at candlelight I preached in Newmarket to an attentive assembly, the most of whom were unaffected and seemed to feel themselves too [272] little interested in the affairs of eternal life. The people of this place appear more anxious to become rich in this world them to become rich in faith and heirs of the kingdom of God. I am afraid many of them have been too long taught that a conformation to the rules and outward ordinances of dull formality will save them. But without the kingdom of God is established in the heart, forms and ceremonies are as useless as candles in noon-day. From this place on the next day, I went on and called in at a house of a Methodist, who received me, and at candlelight I preached in his house to an attentive audience. Great solemnity rested on all while I was speaking; some wept, desirous to obtain the one thing needful, and some professors received a greater knowledge of a christian's duty, and of the useless nature of compacts, forms and rules invented by men for religion. I felt as though my message had access to their hearts. Good will spring forth from this night's labor. The methodists were kind and friendly to me here, with whom I felt sweet fellowship.
Tuesday, August 1st. From this place I went on to Harrisonburg, in Rockingham County. I was directed to a place where the man gave me cold treatment and did not receive me, and in passing on the street, I saw R. Furguson, who said I should preach in the place, and took me into a house of a kind brother Methodist. I was hungry, and he gave me meat, I was thirsty and he gave me drink, I was a stranger and he took me in. And shall he not receive a disciples reward? At candlelight I preached in the Court House to a crowded audience. I began to teach them repentance, and the hand of God was stretched out, and the power of his presence fell on us, and a solemn, silent attention rested on the people. I felt that my message was attended by the power of the highest and that good would spring up in the hearts of some. Some mourned and wept and some were comforted. Others were disappointed that they did not hear a more learned, metaphysical disquisition of some speculative notions, forgetting that the power and sublimity of truth are most discovered in its plainness and simplicity. On the next day I went on and preached at J. [273] S's. on Middle river, in Augusta County. Some of the people misbehaved, and unbelief prevailed, and the word did no seem to profit them.
Thursday, 3rd. At candlelight in Staunton, I preached in the Methodist meeting house to a large audience. When I began to speak the word of the Lord, great silence and solemnity rested among the people, and my tongue was loosed to speak forth the words of soberness and truth. Many were seen to weep while some lifted their voices to praise their Saviour. This was a time of sincere reflection and solemn exercise in the hearts of many. My soul felt much of the humble spirit of Christ while it sweetly embraced in the arms of divine fellowship some who sat around. After I closed, a Methodist preacher gave a corresponding exhortation, under which my soul was more strengthened and comforted. Before I left this place, through the kindness of my Methodist brethren, I was presented with five dollars, which was immediately sent to my family, for which evidence of God's care I felt thankful and prayed God that they may not lose their reward for giving. On the next day I went on to near Middlebrook, and held three meetings near and in the place. Some good impressions were made on the minds of some, but surely the Lord's people are but few about here. Different professions distinguished many, but who, alas! seem to respect each other as the Jews and Samaritans did each other who had no dealings together. Religion (or forms under that name) is in pompous style in this region, much more indulgent, kind, pleasing to nature and the propensities of the flesh than it once was in the region round about Jerusalem.
Sunday, 6th, I rose in the morning much distressed in my mind from the impressions made by a singular dream of the night before. As it indicated distress, sickness, or death in my family, I was the more uneasy and thought of returning to them immediately, and related to the good, humble old man of God, where I was, the whole matter. He told me it might only be a temptation to try my integrity and firmness, and that if I now should go back, I might find it unmeaning. And if [274] I left them in the care of the Almighty God, all should be well, and that I had better go on my way and trust in him who giveth life, and who taketh it again. I resorted to private and fervent prayer for a dicision; in which exercise I was much refreshed, and evidently directed to go forward and not back, especially as these words rolled through my mind, "Let the dead bury the dead, but follow thou me." "Remember Lot's wife." I then went on and at ten o'clock preached in Middlebrook. I saw but little appearance of good being done. I told them the plain truth, and left the event to God. I then went on and at candlelight preached in the house of one of the united brethren (so called) who manifested to me much of the Spirit of Christ. I was enabled to speak with more than common liberty and faith, upon the riches of grace to save a lost sinner. God was with us. Some wept, some were comforted and all the people solemn and attentive. On the next day at candlelight I attended in the court house in Lexington, Rockbridge County, to a people, some of whom could not hear for the much whispering, laughing and talking amongst them. With a heart full of grief, I gave up the subject. Afterwards I thought on these words, "and he looked on the people with anger, being grieved at the hardness of their hearts."
Tuesday, 8th. I started on my way again feeling myself somewhat unwell and a little discouraged under the present prospect, but still depended on my God to open my way; trusting that he would give me grace to bear all the trials and necessities that awaited me. In my journey this day I called in at several houses enquiring if I could get admission to proclaim the message of God to the people; by some I was told they had preachers, and by another, who asked me what church I belonged to, I said christ's church; he said he did not belong to that church, and he could not receive me, though he professed religion! In the evening, being wearied with my journey, and exceedingly sorrowful for the mournful wasted state of Zion, contemplating and contrasting the nature of true, pure and undefiled religion with the [275] present prospect, I set me on the friendly moss which hung around the root of the wide spreading oak that lent me shade so free, while the muse of Zion, touched with sympathy divine, the following softly whispered
Our Saviour came to bless the Jews,
But his appearance they refuse; They look'd and long'd to see a king, But would not have so mean a thing. Ah! had he come with pompous bands With carnal weapons in his hands, He would have been acknowledg'd then, By all the scribes and proudest men; But when he came both meek and low, Despising all the world below-- They rose, refus'd and cast him out; They knew not what he was about. And thus it is, in this my day, When we must go in Christ's own way-- When we profess Christ's only name, We are despis'd, cast out with shame. Renounce the world, I now must cry He was a fool they soon reply; Must we not work, and toil and strive And in our worldly riches thrive? If Christ ye all your portion make, Your gold and pride, you must forsake, And trust in God for daily bread, And by his grace be always fed. |
After travelling 17 miles, being a stranger, hungry and a thirst, entering a village, I felt as though I should sound the word of the Lord to the people. I enquired at several houses for a reception, but found none; and as I stood in the street looking up to heaven in prayer to God to be directed to the right place, I turned me and saw the house into which I was impressed to go, and as I entered I was made welcome. I was asked if I was a preacher? I told them: of what profession? said a young woman rather impertinently, "A christian, a disciple of Christ," said I. That is a good profession, that is enough, said the old lady, who was a widow. In [276] her house an attentive audience met and I declared the counsel of God to them in faith and in power. A solemn, silent weeping was seen amongst them. My message seemed to be received and there was an appearance that it would do them good in the great day of the Lord's coming. My own soul was much refreshed, strengthened and comforted. This night I was comforted while awake and asleep with heavenly visions and God's eternal love.
Wednesday, 9th. This morning a man gave me 6&12frac; cents to pay my passage over James River. This day as I was passing a house a large dog came bolting out at me most furiously. Several people were looking, but none said, "get out" to the dog. I saw he would bite me if he was not rebuked; and as he came up to me with his mouth open, having the bible in my hand, I stretched out my hand and said to the dog, "here is the word of God, bite that if you can." He immediately shut his mouth, turned away and moved his tongue no more against me! In the evening I called in and was received at Mr. Cop's, on James river, Bortetourt County; at candlelight I preached near by, to an attentive and solemn congregation, who appeared to receive my message and were deeply affected with its importance. On the next day I preached in the meeting house, near the same place, to a large audience. In speaking I felt as though the power of the Highest was upon me, and the glorious Lord was manifested upon all present. Some mourned and wept, others were comforted and the name of the Lord Jesus was magnified. It was said by some, "it was good for us to be here." This was a joyful time to me, as I saw such visible displays of divine grace in touching the hearts of many. Here I obtained the name of the "Pilgrim," which seems to have exceeded all others given me. This meeting house is free for the preaching of all professions; I would there were more than there on the same plan, that the minds of people may be free and open to investigation. From thence I went on to Fincastle, and at candle light preached in the Methodist meeting house, to an attentive audience. The spirit [277] of the Lord was upon us. Sinners seemed to be cut to the heart by the sword of the spirit which is the word of God. Great solemnity rested on the people while many wept. The brethren were revived and comforted. This was a time, to my soul, long be remembered; as it appeared all felt that God was in the place. I tarried all night with a Methodist preacher, in town, whom I found to be of that little flock to which it is the Father's good pleasure to give the kingdom.
Saturday, 12th. I directed my course over the rugged mountains and along a desolate road to Craig's Creek. Late in the evening I came to my friend D. Rice's. Here I was received joyfully, as, after an absence of seven years, we were glad to see each other. Our souls were comforted together, in conversation, during the evening. On the next day at his house I sowed the good word of the kingdom of God. Some seemed to fall by the way side, some on stony places, some among thorns, and some, I think, on good ground which brings forth good fruit. After meeting I went twelve miles, having to cross Craig's Creek and others seven times, which, in some places, were deep and rapid fording for a footman. I was now among former acquaintances, but I was strange to the most of them; and they were full as much as to me. Some said I had turned wild, but I thought I was tame as a lamb. About dark I went into the house of T. Abbot, where I had long before enjoyed much divine happiness. Here, and in the neighborhood, I preached the message of repentance three times, to people (I thought) almost as wild and as hard as the mountains which surrounded them. I now saw cause to mourn at the sad appearance religion made to what it once did in this region. Many professors have lost their first love and gone back to the weak and beggarly elements of the world again. Houses of prayer, are now houses of intoxication and dancing; and the meeting house, where I had seen hundreds affected under the word preached, have seen sinners weeping, crying, praying and turning to God, is deserted; and by a total neglect is going to ruins! Preachers have almost forsook the lonesome waste, and gloomy [278] prospect, and Satan roars triumphant up and down the valley. "O that my head were waters and mine eyes a fountain of tears that I might weep day and night for the slain of the daughter of my people." O Lord how long shall thy Zion mourn and her walls be broken down? When will hypocrisy and deceit cease to disturb her peaceful and holy inhabitants, and by wicked works reproach her name no more. O that preachers would stand firm on the ground the Lord gives them, and not give room to the roaring lion, and that all professors might hold fast that which is good, and press forward to perfection; then she (Zion) should shine forth bright as the sun, fair as the moon, terrible as an army with banners and be the praise of the whole earth.
From thence I went over an exceeding high and lonesome mountain to Sinking Creek, in Giles County. where I held two meetings. People were anxious to hear, and some were deeply affected under the word. Some were brought to tears of repentance and to a godly sorrow for sin.
Friday, 18th. I went on my way rejoicing under my sufferings and trials. A heavy thunder-gust met me and poured out its wetting torrents while I was going on unsheltered in the mighty storm. My way was, mostly a path, which sometimes led through thickets of bushes, up and down large hills, crossing creeks a number of times, which was tiresome and disagreeable to flesh and bones. This day, in travelling, I stepped on a huge rattle snake as it lay concealed, which caused it to alarm me with its doleful jar; and as there was power given me over it that it did not hurt me I ceased not to thank my great preserver, in whose promises I reposed all my trust. On Spruce Run, night, with her sable skirts, wrapping the high raised mountain's top in lonesome darkness and whelming the low sun vale in thicker gloom, overtook me; I called at the door of an humble cottage, whose landlord welcomed me forth, but had nought to set before me, only ---------. Here nature represents a picturesque and retired scene, which can charm the admiration of all, but invite the residence of none but the secluded hermit. On the next [279] morning I went on my rugged way till I came to New River, which rolled a copious tide before me. After some detainance and difficulty I was taken across in a small and dangerous canoe. I travelled some miles up the river, where nature shews some of its most sublime and awful features. Here Walker's mountain (as it is called) by appearance, has, by some tremendous catastrophe, been bursted asunder, and abruptly divided from base to summit, exhibiting towery rocks, lonesome and far projected pinnacles, while pile upon pile add wonder to the romantic figure. Through this mighty chasm runs the roaring river, while foam, wave and tumultuous fury perfects one of the grandest and best finished pictures of nature. My path led along the river's brink, over and between the dangerous rocks that piled the rugged way. Passing this place I was led into a large and fertile bottom, where I appeased the rage of appetite upon May apples (as they are called) having ate nothing for near forty eight hours and walked about fifty miles. Late in the evening, wearied with toil, faint with heat, and oppressed with long and necessitous fasting, I came to J. Folinger's, who gladly received me, where I soon was nourished and strengthened in my feeble body and comforted in my panting soul.
Sunday, 20th. I went several miles with my host, to Methodist meeting, at Page's meeting house. The preacher delivered a faithful and consistent discourse, from which I gathered some comfort. The congregation being dismissed and coming out of the house I was strongly solicited to preach in the woods to them, as the house was denied me; to this, at first, I objected, as it might be looked upon by some, as an interruption; but as the spirit of the Lord seemed to move with the desire of the people, we repaired a little distance into the woods where I preached to the attentive audience, while the signs of repentance rested on the countenances of many, and the power of my mission pervaded the people. This was labor spent not in vain, as I felt the spirit of the Lord God upon me. Here the wicked (so called) were more noble and kind to me than the righteous. A few miles from this place, at candlelight, I [280] preached to a solemn assembly. I spake to them in strong faith and saw that the Lord visited us with his presence. It was a happy time to some, and some wept under a discovery of their sins. On the next day at 12 o'clock, in Newbern, Montgomery County, I taught a large and well behaved audience the true principles of christianity, connected with the necessity of repentance or a godly sorrow for sin. The power of God was manifested gloriously in the conviction of several and in the comforting some of the little ones in Christ Jesus. Two Deists were convinced that their belief was erroneous and saw the rational nature of the Christian religion, and were deeply affected under a sight of their sins. This was a joyful day not soon to be forgotten, as it was a time of convincing and illuminating the minds of some, while others were united in christian fellowship. At candlelight I preached again at the same place, but not with so much apparent success; yet the Lord was with us and the hearts of some were operated upon by the holy spirit. I tarried with Mr. A. Hance and was treated with much kindness and hospitality by the family; for which, he who sent me will reward them. On the next evening, on Pea Creek, at a public house in Wythe County, I preached to a large assembly in strong faith that the Lord would seal the power of my mission to the hearts of the people. The love of Jesus was poured out upon the brethren present, and there was a move in the camp. Some of the King's enemies were cut to the heart, who appeared greatly desirous to arise and come to Jesus. Many who came together careless, went away weeping. From thence I went on the next day, and at 12 o'clock preached at Harmony meeting house, to an attentive audience; my faith being weak the people did not appear to feel the word as was necessary to bring them to true repentance; yet I saw some evidence of the grace of God upon their hearts. At candlelight a few miles further on, I taught the people how to come to Jesus. The great attention and solemnity of the people, with the feeling presence of my God, increased my faith and while speaking great grace seemed to rest on the audience. At this time some of the [281] Methodist brethren seemed to get a double portion, and the friend of sinners was glorified. The people in this quarter are free and liberal to hear all who preach the name of Jesus. I have been received and entreated with kindness and christian affection amongst them. From thence I was directed in the spirit to visit the mountains and hills of Grayson, the distant vales and scorching sands of Carolina. This was making a more tedious and lengthy journey than I at first supposed to take, but putting my trust in that God who giveth strength to the weak and confirms the feeble knees, I promised constant obedience to the operations of grace and went on my way rejoicing.
Thursday, 24th. Having been exposed to a hard gust of thunder and rain and being much troubled to cross several creeks and New River, I came to my brother John's near poplar camp. Next day I preached at his house to an audience, the most of whom were much impressed with the weight of God's presence. At this place some thought I had lost my right senses, others thought I had just found them; and so I saw people differed in their opinions. From thence I went into Grayson County, and on the 27th. at B's iron works, at 7 o'clock I preached to a large assembly. The time, the place, and the people felt awful as the spirit of the Lord moved upon us. It was a weeping, crying, praying and enquiring time among sinners. This was a morning of richest glory and happiness to my soul, as I could scarcely contain the joy of the heavenly visions which bursted forth to my view. At 12 o'clock I met a numerous congregation at the Court House. We had to take the woods for our most convenient room, where I preached the Gospel of the kingdom to the attentive crowd, while the presence of God was felt my many. One Deist was confounded in his belief and said he would give it up and seek his salvation in Christ, who he now believed was the son of God. During the week (till Saturday) I continued travelling and preaching in different places in the County, and saw some evidences that the spirit of the Lord was moving some of the wicked to repentance. [282]
Saturday, Sept. 2nd. I crossed the Blue Ridge and came into Surry County, North Carolina, and went into the house of J. Williams, who kindly received me and hospitably entreated me, and with whom I was comforted after a tedious and tiresome day's journey, over hills, creeks and mountains. This man lives where romantic nature throws her wildest features round. He is surrounded with the rude spurs of the blue mountain, sometimes infested with bears and hungry wolves, where he can hear the far distant cataracts and the loud murmurs of the swift gliding brook. Here the stranger at once is pleased and astonished; he wonders and admires and see that art, with her ten thousand beauties, can't compare with one rude stroke of wildest nature. On the next day at Majr. Franklin's I proclaimed peace and pardon through Jesus Christ to sinners, while the attentive congregation felt the word. The people seem not to feel the curse of religious bigotry in this region; but are free, open and liberal in their minds; the rage of party has not destroyed their union and fellowship. The professors are mostly Methodists who appear to be humble Christians and desire for nothing more than to hear of the union and fellowship of God's children. They receive me with open hearts and rejoice in the mission I proclaim; while we feel united as children of the same God. On the next day it rained and I became wet while going to my appointment. When I came to the place the people were waiting for me. My faith was strong, my joy was great while I held out the Lord Jesus to the people. The presence of God was among us. This day will be remembered many days to come. Sinners wept and the brethren were animated and comforted. These are a kind and benevolent people. As a stranger and Pilgrim they receive and entreat me with Christian affection. They shall not lose their reward in the great day of the Lord's coming.
Tuesday, 5th. was a rainy day and I became wet again, and my way was disagreeable because of mud and the many large creeks, which were getting full, that I had to cross. At 12 o'clock I met an audience [283] at T. Perkin's. The people were attentive but did not appear to feel my message. There was too much unbelief amongst us for any mighty work to be done. Mr. P. has been in a low state of health for some time, which seems to have been intended for the good of his soul as he had been lately convinced of the error of his way, and has been brought to repentance and to believe that Jesus is his Saviour. He is a man who has accumulated much worldly wealth, but now he sees the vanity of earthly treasures. The Lord is long suffering, slow to anger and of great kindness. Oft times when prosperity and health will not lead us to the service of God, we are visited with affliction and distress; and death, in dire array, is placed before us to affect our minds with repentance. All intended for the good of the soul. On the next day I went on, and in the evening preached to a congregation of Friends--thence to Wm. Gorden's, to Mr. Smith's, where I met attentive congregations and preached the word of God to them in faith, and saw it attended by divine energy to the hearts of many. Thence I went to Spoonhour's, a Moravian, with whom I tarried one night where I was apprised of some severe trial which shortly awaited me by a frightful vision in my sleep.
Saturday, 19th. I went on to Housertown (one of the Moravian towns) my appointment was received in the tavern but not in the church. On my way to this place my mind was grievously burdened with an apprehension of some severe trial just at hand. As I was going on my fears overcame me and I turned my course and went back the way I came, perhaps three miles, in which time my feelings were exercised in a manner past expression. But I was brought to see that I was now fleeing from the cross of Christ and was unwilling to suffer for his sake, and if I thus fled and tried to shun this difficulty a greater would fall on me in whatsoever course I should go. This brought me on my knees before God in prayer. While thus engaged my blessed Saviour was most precious to me, as the bright illuminations and the supporting power of his grace dissipated the darkness, banished the fears and temptations, raised and [284] strengthened the weakness of my desponding soul. I felt willing and determined, by his grace, to follow him to prison or to death, if required. And if any false witness alleged any thing against me, I was assured that God would support and deliver me and with the resolution of suffering any thing for the cause of Christ, I turned and went on the course I was first bent. Shortly after I came into the town a man who had seen me some years before, as he now lived near this place, stated that I was an impostor and abused me with many other bad names, threatening very seriously to put me to jail.
I told him to prove his accusations, but this he could not do. As he thus censured me in the face of the congregation and I being an utter stranger to them, my access to them seemed to be difficult, though I saw the people believed him not. I began to speak to them under these embarrassments, but knowing I was suffering wrongfully for the sake of Jesus, my faith was strong, my tongue was loosed, and I felt, in a peculiar degree, the presence of God upon me; and putting my whole trust in his name I was enabled to speak to the hearts of the people--they hearkened and felt the word. After I closed many of them came and gave me their hands in Christian fellowship.
The Lord was now good to me indeed as he saved me from the reproach and turned away the wrath of the enemy. I tarried in the place during the evening and night and was much revived and comforted with the kindness and friendship which I met. The friends invited me to leave an appointment for my return to be in their church. I did so. From thence I went to Salem another Moravian town) where I was kindly received and admitted to preach in their church; where I taught repentance several times to large numbers of attentive people, many of whom manifested signs of contrition and a desire for the salvation of their souls. Here I felt that the Lord was willing I should return on my way to Virginia again.
Tuesday, 12th. This day I turned my course for my own country, and my own house, and went on to [285] Housertown, and at 8 o'clock preached to about one thousand people gathered there to hear the word. At candlelight at the same place. The spirit of the Lord moved upon the people. Their hearts were affected by divine grace and many melted into tears. These glorious instances of God's presence are not to be forgotten. Here, and round in this region a wide door was opened for the declaration of my mission, but my course now being directed and my appointments made for the distance of two hundred miles on, I could not tarry longer.
O could I fly from place to place,
Like Eagles through the air; I'd teach the world thy charming grace, And smile at toil and care. |
Thursday, 14th. I went on and preached at S's. on the Little Yadkin, and at candlelight at the house of a Baptist preacher where my feeble labors were attended by refreshing showers from the presence of God. I then returned on the same route I had come, preaching twice in a day till I came near to the Blue Ridge, while my congregations were, generally, deeply affected with a sense of divine and eternal things. Many were the questions and enquiries proposed to me, some for better information, and some, I thought to entangle me in my words; but some were convinced that the profession of religion was too much depended upon while the nature of it was neglected, and that in appearance it was too much blended with the fashion of this world, especially amongst the ministry. Evil reports were now circulating rapidly aginst me, but they only made me pray the more and preach the harder. From thence I crossed the Blue Ridge, at Flour Gap, came into Grayson and continued to preach in different places in the county, the space of ten days, while I saw some manifest evidences of the power of God in the conviction of some, and saw the prejudice of some professors shew itself, especially in three Baptist preachers.
October 1st. Sunday I preached at 12 o'clock at [286] Quaker meeting house, to several hundred people, and truly God's power in touching the hearts of many was manifested to the people. One of the Friends was impressed to speak and I felt as though the spirit revealed to him what to speak and his words came with power.
From this place I attended at Mr. Mossman's, on Poplar Camp Mountain, at 1 o'clock P. M. and preached to a small attentive congregation, some of whom appeared to feel the power of the word. After meeting I went on about seven miles to my brother John's where I arrived at 12 o'clock. On the next day I taught a large audience the difference between the Pharisee and Publican and the necessity of humbling ourselves as the Publican, and acknowledging our sins, and like him, to pray for God to be merciful. The word of the Lord had access to the hearts of some.
Here I saw -------- and asked him if the circumstance related to the second paragraph, page 262, was a certainty; to this I could get no dicisive answer, but as I was led to believe it, I asked him for my note, but this he refused letting me have, by saying he intended to be in my country by the time I should get there and then I should have it.
Friday, 6th. I left my brother J's. and attended my appointments at Y's. L's. and on Sunday 8th. came again to Newbern and at 12 o'clock preached to a large audience in the open woods. This was a time of repentance, contrition and a discovery of sins. Jesus of Nazareth seemed to pass by and some resolved to follow after him. At candlelight in the same town, I taught the people again, while the convictions of some were deepened and some were much comforted. From this place on the next day I went on and preached at P. H's. on New River, thence to Montgomery Court House, on Roanoke, and thence to Salem, in Bortetourt County, in which time I saw the evidences of the spirit to attend my word to the hearts of some, while I had to suffer necessity, tribulation and persecution. In Salem I was kindly received and preached twice in the Methodist meeting house to attentive assemblies, where some were seriously operated upon, in the discovery of their sins, or by [287] divine consolations. Here the report of my having ran away from my family, and that my father-in-law had taken them home, &c. &c. was told me, which report having just come from Newtown, near to my father-in-law's, seemed, with some to bear the appearance of truth; yet I rejoiced in the knowledge of its being erroneous and only forged as persecution against me for the sake of Jesus. From this place I went on and preached to a few people near Amsterdam, and thence I went into Fincastle, lifted the following letter from the Post Office, and preached at candlelight to a solemn audience near C's. on James River.
Shenandoah, Co. Va. Sept. 23d. 1815. |
LOVING HUSBAND,
I received your letter dated September 4th. and in it was glad to hear of you, and that you were in tolerable health. Would to God I could say so to you, but alas! with sorrow I must tell you that we are all sick. Our little children took the hooping cough, shortly after you departed, and have had it most dreadful ever since.2 And I myself am in pain, day and night, with the head and tooth ach, , and have to be up. sometimes all night with the children. It appears to me that I have almost forgot how to sleep. Our little Sophronia has been near death's door. Philomela is now very sick, but I think not so sick as she has been. Physician's aid could do no good, the complaint would have its own may till God pleased to help them. Do not let this disturb you or give you the least uneasiness. I hope and trust the children are over the worst of their cough, and you could do us no good if you were here. True, I never wanted to see you so much as I do now. But let not this cause you to neglect your important mission of preaching, or call you here the sooner. I could freely exhort you to hold out and continue faithful and not to be discourage at the trials and persecutions I apprehended you meet with. You are, and have [288] been subject to them, but I am very glad I have ever found them to be false and only laid upon you because of religion.
The people are prophesying many things of you, but, not many, for good; this should make you live the closer to God. You have my warmest wishes and my fervent prayers for your success in the Gospel, and as I am willing to bear the grief of your absence, I hope, hereafter, to share the blessings of your reward.
Dear Husband,
I remain, Your affectionate wife, | |
CHRISTIANA THOMAS. |
I do not look for you till the time you appointed.
C. T. |
Sunday, 15th. At 12 o'clock a large audience came to hear the word of God preached at a meeting house near this place. My thoughts enlarged upon the sufferings of the son of God, while he came to shew us a pattern of humility, self-denial, obedience &c. The Lord was truly manifested among us. The operations of his spirit were visible by the weeping and crying of sinners. The Lord has, it seems, began a good work among this people. May it go on gloriously in the return of many sinners, and in the uniting of his professed people. At night the people again came together to hear Christ preached to them. The Lord was again precious to us. Sinners wept and saints were comforted. From this place I went on and travelled all day in the rain; at candlelight I preached at the house of a widow. The hearts of the people seemed to be too hard to feel what I said. Thence I went on again in the rain, and ate nothing. At night I was admitted to take shelter in the house of a --------. But had nothing given me in the name of a disciple, so I ate nothing with him. Next morning he charged me two shillings for staying in his house, and a stranger, who was present in time of reckoning, paid it for me. Then I thought every time the devil put an obstacle in my way the Lord provided a friend, or some means to remove it, [289] and I went on rejoicing in my tribulation. In the afternoon I came to M's (a German) who entreated me kindly, and where I spake the word of the Lord twice to the people. Thence into Staunton, where I was again kindly received by the Methodists and admitted to preach in their meeting house. The people were solemn and attentive. Many wept sincerely. Some were constrained to praise God. My own soul received fresh strength from the Lord Most High. O may I still drink deeper and deeper of the spirit of Christ, that I may know and feel all the depths of humility, and all the heights of his love; that when I am reviled I may not return reviling, but blessing for cursing, and to say, Father forgive them, for they know not what they do.
Saturday, 21st. Two of the Methodist friends gave me seven dollars, which I accepted. This filled my heart with thankfulness to God and to them, seeing that my wants were always duly redressed. I then went on and preached on North River, Harrisonburg, New Market, Mount Pleasant, came into my own neighborhood, to S. Hickle's, where, on the 26th October, 1815, my family met me. The consolation of my soul and the thankfulness of my mind were now very great on this occasion. To find that in the absence of three months in many dangers, difficulties, necessities, trials and persecutions, the Lord had been with me, as a mighty and terrible one, and had preserved and brought me safe back--also, that the Lord had delivered my family from the gates of death, and spared us all to meet each other again in health and joy. At this place I preached the word of the Lord to the people, which fell with weight into the hearts of many.
On the 28th, I arrived at home, where I taught a large congregation, the nature of repentance and the necessity of remission of sins through Jesus Christ, while many wept the tears of Godly sorrow.
In this journey I was absent ninety two days, walked upwards of eleven hundred miles, preached ninety seven times, suffered much hunger and thirst, endured many hard trials and difficulties, delivered from some [290] imminent dangers, had much persecution, saw signs and wonders (they were so to me) attend the Gospel, saw some convinced of their errors, and of the dangerous nature of false religion, some of their sins, and many built up in the most holy faith, and felt continual and inexpressible joy in my soul. Was generally well received and treated with much christian affection (a few instances excepted) by the Methodists, who seemed to be greatly comforted in the matter of my mission; despised and rejected (a few instances excepted) by the Presbyterians, generally heard by the Baptists, treated hospitably by, and admitted to preach among, the Quakers and Moravians; and now on my return I can truly say, "Lord even the devils are subject to me through thy name."
On the 29th, 30th, and 31st, I preached in the neighborhood, at B's.; and on the first Sunday in November, in Stoverstown, where I think there was some good done in the name of the Lord. I thence returned and held several meetings round, not far distant from my abode. Then into Frederick County, at my father-in-law's and several other places, where I was still known by the name of crazy Thomas!! Some now said it was a scandal to hear a man of my garb (though certainly decent, as it was white and clean) preach, others like to hear the better, and so found, again, that people would differ in their opinions. Near the last of the month I returned to my family again, having preached frequently and seen the bright manifestations of God's power and goodness. The weather becoming very cold and the roads almost impassable in my manner of travelling; about the last of November I commenced a school for a term of three months, in the house of my abode. During this time I spent Saturdays and Sabbath days in preaching to my neighbors, and at places as far as ten, fifteen and twenty miles, while I suffered much from the cold winds, deep snows and muddy roads. And while I had to endure much persecution and some oppositions. At Huddle's school house, a 'squire and some others tried to prevent my preaching in the place, but they could not accomplish the design. [291] It would be tedious, and, perhaps, unprofitable to remind the many pitiful reports sent abroad, and evil turns taken to debase me and to destroy my usefulness, at this time. While I was constantly travelling I was represented as an idle wanderer, and a neglecter of my family! And now, while I was teaching school, by man of the same people, it was spoken of as matter of triumph, that I had given out my undertaking, turned back to the things of the world, and was striving to get rich, &c. &c. &c. I wondered if christians could revile in this manner, as I knew professors did. As I felt accountable to God, and knew he was perfectly acquainted with the intentions of my heart, I was happy and silent, when they tossed their evil tales about. As I knew it was as impossible to silence the slanderer's tongue as to change the Ethiopian's skin, or the Leopard's spots.
About the last of February, 1816, my school expired, and my family was received at my father-in-law's; and as the hard weather was not broken up I worked some weeks in the blacksmith shop, near to my father-in-law's, where the man alluded to in the second paragraph of page 262, was now working; while here I asked him for the deed to my land, and I would lift my note; and if he would not give me the deed, to give the note, which he held against me; but he would do neither. In this time I preached frequently in the neighborhood, at candlelight, and on Sundays, while I saw the minds of some were deeply affected, and there was an appearance that the Lord would revive his work. About the 14th of April, leaving my family at my father-in-law's. I went on my way, directing my course toward Maryland. In Martinsburg, Shepherdstown, Va. Sharpsburg, Stone meeting house, Funkstown, and Hagerstown, in Md. I preached to large congregations, while I saw the word of the Lord had access to the hearts of many. From Hagerstown, I returned through Funkstown, the Stone meeting house, and Sharpsburg, where the houses were much crowded with attentive hearers and some seriously operated upon by that good spirit, under whose direction I knew I had visited them. In the two latter places the people were very [292] friendly and kind to me. The Methodists were generally affectionate, with whom I felt and enjoyed some seasons of fellowship. Thence into Shepherdstown, Martinsburg, and Bucklestown, where I saw evidences that my labour was not in vain. And on the 27th I returned to my family, and found them in good health. In this journey I was absent thirteen days, preached sixteen times and travelled upwards of one hundred miles and felt much joy in spreading the Gospel, while many felt its power, and while I endured some difficulties my soul triumphed in the God of my salvation.
On the 28th, at candlelight I preached at R's. where the spirit of the Lord moved upon the people, and some were convinced of sin; and some few of the brethren who yet stood firm in all the floods and efforts of persecution, which, for years, have opposed them, were comforted, and their faith increased.
April 29th. I went on directing my course toward the northern hills, at candlelight I preached at the Round Hill, to an attentive people, who were seriously affected by the word of truth. On the next day I travelled about thirty two miles, crossing several creeks, mountains and hills, and near dark I came to the house of ---- Hawkins, who kindly received me, and treated me with the affection of a christian. Here I preached to the people, in strong faith that the Lord was in the place. Some felt the word and wept under its influence, others were rejoiced in the hope of its precious promises. I preached at several places in the neighborhood, thence in Park's valley, thence on to the Forks of Capon, then at a meeting house near Sandy ridge, and at Hull's, generally to large congregations, where I saw some appearances of the work of God, as some were convinced of their sins, some of the errors which they had been too much confiding in, and some comforted in the Holy Ghost. In this neighborhood I went to Methodist meeting. The preacher was friendly and invited me to speak. I did so. I thought this looked a little like christians. From this place I went on to brother T. Nesmith's, where I think there were good impressions made on the minds of some. I have found [293] the people of the hills where I have travelled some days, anxious and attentive to hear the Gospel preached, and many of their hearts are tender under its heavenly sound. I have also found a number, who have left the human systems and sectarian names, which prevented their union and formerly distinguished them from each other, and who now only take the name given to the disciples at Antioch, the word of God for their rule, and profess to be in union with all the people of God. Amongst them I have been cordially received and with whom I have had sweet communication and fellowship. From this place I went on and preached three times in Jarettstown, from thence to Bucklestown, where I met with the preacher above alluded to, whom I expected to find in the same spirit which he at the first manifested to me. But in this I was mistaken, as he, in the pulpit, made me the butt of his ridicule. He told us that the man who now wore a long white robe, with a girdle about him, walking through the country with a staff in his hand, in imitation of Christ and the Apostles was ignorant, superstitious, enthusiastic, &c. if not something worse. He said some other things to the same amount, but this was enough to let the people know who he meant. I was sorry for the man. This taught me again, that man would turn, and that out of the same mouth might be blown hot and cold. Thence again into Jarettstown, and from thence to my family after an absence of fifteen days, in which time I had preached seventeen times, suffered some necessity and some persecution; had some joyful seasons of grace to my soul and saw some others comforted and some convicted of their sins.
May 14th. By this time I had an Edition of the Pilgrim's Hymn Book, printed and ready for delivery, and with some of them I went on directing my course up the country. I preached at E's, S's, and Bordain's school house, brother S. H's. near R's. store, at Mount Pleasant, Woodstock; H's. on Shenandoah River, at brother Boyer's, and at Stoverstown; and thence returned to my family about the 10th of June; having preached more than once a day, to the joy of my own [294] heart and to the profit of many who heard me attentively. In which time three souls related what great things God had done for them, and testified that Christ had power on earth to forgive sins; and many others were weeping under conviction in different places.
June 14th. I went on through Shenandoah again, and on the 3d Sabbath preached to a large audience, in Stoverstown, some of whom were deeply impressed with the presence of God, as his power overshadowed us. We then repaired to the water, where I proceeded to baptise the three persons before mentioned, while attention, decorum and solemnity rested on the most of a numerous crowd of spectators. From thence, at different places in the county, preaching once in a day, sometimes twice and thrice, till about the last of the month, when I returned to my family again. Then I preached, till the thirteenth of July, in different places in Frederick County, and once in Stoverstown, in Shenandoah, on the death of one of brother G's. daughters, who, in the beauty, splendor, vigor, and flattering prospects of youth, was, after a short illness, snatched away from her associates, among whom she was the most amiable ornament, and suddenly arrested by the conquering arm of death, and laid beneath the silent earth, in her father's absence! A stroke to him, which christian fortitude and a holy resignation to the dispensation of the Divine Will, alone, could bear. The occasion was solemn and the people much affected. This should serve as a warning to the youth, the healthy and the gay, to remember their creator; and, like her, to be always ready to die in the Lord. It should also remind the parent, like her father, to be well fortified with immortal hope, that they may always happily consent to the disposals of the great God, and be enabled to say, though disappointed in their earthly prospects, in the extreme, "The Lord giveth and the Lord taketh away, blessed be the name of the Lord."
On the 10th of July, 1816, I bought a horse, as I found it was impracticable to dispose of my books on foot. On the 13th I went on, directing my course toward Pennsylvania. The day was rainy and I became [295] wet. At candlelight I preached in Jarettstown to an attentive people, some of whom felt the word; and were comforted. On the next day I taught the people at two different times in the same place, and at Bunker hill. On the day following, at candlelight, I preached the Lord Jesus to a large, attentive audience, in the court house in Martinsburg. Solemnity and good order pervaded the people, while, by appearance, good impressions were made on the hearts of some. In this place I was solicited to turn to be a Baptist preacher. I said I could not turn till the Lord turned me. On the 16th at candlelight I preached in Shepherdstown, in the Lutherian Church, a spacious building, full of people, very attentive, some seriously affected--met with great friendship among this people. The Lord reward them in the great day of reckoning for their attention to a stranger and pilgrim in the earth. Thence in Sharpsburg, twice in the stone meeting house, and twice in Funkstown, at which places I felt that the Lord was with me and saw that his spirit touched the hearts of many.
Monday, 22. At candlelight, in Millerstown in Pennsylvania. Thence to J. F's. in Chester county, where I left my creature and arrived in Philadelphia, on the 26th. I went into the house of Esqr. H. who kindly received me--we were glad to see each other after an absence of five years, and who I found firm and unshaken in the same cause I formerly knew him to be engaged in. On the 28th I preached three times at Mount Zion meeting house; which were gracious, melting seasons. Here I saw many of my old friends, with whom I now again enjoyed sweet fellowship and divine joy. On the next evening I taught the people again in the same place, and they seemed much affected; some with penitential sorrows, and some with joys from the presence of God. Thence to the Great Valley to an attentive people. Thence to Delaware, near Wilmington, where, on the 2d August, I preached to an attentive audience; where I saw two of my gospel children, who were pious and faithful Methodists. On the 3d I attended at Brandywine, but my appointment was objected to; so that I [296] could get no place to preach in, nor where I could rest my wearied limbs in the village, and I went on in the dark a few miles and was received by a hospitable Quaker widow, who lived near the bank of the beautiful river Delaware.
Sunday, 4th. I delivered the counsel of God two different times, in a meeting house near Newport, where the people were solemn and impressed by the Holy Ghost. Thence to Christiana bridge (a town) to New-Ark, and then back again to near Wilmington, at which last place the spirit of the Lord moved mightily upon the people. Some wept tears of repentance and some were comforted in the hope of immortality.
Seven miles from this I taught a large assembly the durable riches of the kingdom of God, and saw that some desired to seek them. From thence, on the 9th, in Pennsylvania near J. F's, where I found the people mostly hardened and unaffected. I sounded the mission of repentance among them and gave them a free, and general invitation to come and partake of the waters of life, but they made light of it. Thence on the 10th to Philadelphia. On the 11th, Sunday, I preached three times in Mount Zion meeting house to attentive and solemn assemblies. At candlelight we had the Lord's supper administered. We had truly a joyful and loving time, during which some felt the sweets of Christian union. The week following I continued in the City in which time the friends strongly requested me to remove my family to this place that I might have the better opportunity of proclaiming my message to them and to the people in the region round about. To which I consented, if I found it agreeable to my companion; to this end they furnished me with a small Coachee, or one horse carriage, for which I was to send them a certain sum of money if I did not return with my family. On Sunday, 18th, I held three meetings in Mount Zion meeting house to large congregations, and the word seemed to be received among them. The people were affected and brethren much comforted.
Monday, 19th. One of the friends took the carriage [297] some distance out of the city and I went on to get my creature. The next day I went on my way to Virginia.
Sunday, 25. I met large congregations at the Stone Meeting House, Sharpsburg and Shepherdstown. Great solemnity rested on the people, and some were much affected by the impressions of the Holy Spirit, while my own soul enjoyed great consolation. On the 6th I arrived at the place where my family dwelt--found the children well, but my companion was in a very low state of health; which created much uneasiness in my mind, as I feared I could not comply with the intention of going to Philadelphia. Yet I felt thankful to God that he had brought us to see each other in this vale of sorrow and on this stage of trial. In this journey I was absent about seven weeks, travelled about seven hundred miles preached about fifty times, saw some good appearances of reformation in the work of God, met with some severe trials, out of which the Lord delivered me, suffered some persecutions and distresses, and was enabled to glory in my tribulations. On the next day at candlelight I preached at S. Sample's to an attentive people, some of whom were solemn, and felt the power of truth. On the day following I preached at the Round Hill, again, thence to Sharpsburg, in Maryland, Antietam Iron works, Stone Meeting house, Keedy's meeting house, and Boonsborough to large congregations. In this time I found that some were convinced the errors, forms, systems, ceremonies and traditions of false religion would not save them, and were led to enquire for the pure and spiritual nature of the service of God, and saw the necessity of God's people being united together. Persecution began to vent her malicious stories against me. My Methodist friends in Sharpsburg grew cold and some of the old side religion, spake evil of me, and in Shepherdstown some of my friends fled away and I met with a reception there no more. I now found my way getting more difficult and only had reason to wonder why it had been smooth and open so long. Yet I found the Lord was with me and opened the hearts and ears of many to hear my message. In this journey I met with a kind reception and much friendship from [298] some of the people about Keedy's meeting house, one of whom gave me a free and sincere invitation to bring my family to his house to stay some months, while I might sound the message of God to the people where he might direct.
About the 15th of September, I returned to my family; my wife was yet confirmed within doors. I then preached a few times in the neighborhood. Thence into Paris, on the south side of the Blue Ridge, went into an Inn for entertainment--was insulted and neglected by the landlord; left the house and took up my lodgings with a wagoner in his wagon for the night. Thence I returned to Frederick county and held meeting at Han's Ferry, on Shenandoah river; some of the hearers were affected and wept under the word, and others were not pleased to hear salvation offered to all. Hence I returned to my family; my companion yet being in an unhealthy state, I had of consequence to give up for the present, the idea of taking my family to Philadelphia. From an impression of duty, with the advice of some friends, I thought it necessary that my companion should travel to the westward to improve and recover her health, and if this end should be answered, by the blessing of God we then might go to Philadelphia.
September 29, 1816, I started with my family for the western parts of Virginia. In Stoverstown, Woodstock, New Market, Harrisonburg, Staunton, and at brother M's, in Augusta county, I taught the people the pure and spiritual nature of religion, the dangerous consequences of bigotry, partyism and divisions, while repentance and remission of sins, love to God and love to one another were the theme of my mission, and the Lord prospered the word and made it profitable to the hearts of some. Thence to Brownsburg, Pattonsburg, Cops, Fincastle, Salem, Montgomery Court House, Newbern, Poplar Camp, Wythe Court House, where some of the rabble stole my carriage, run it half a mile out of town and left it, and to Grayson Court House, places, as the most of which I met large congregations, and saw some instances of the goodness of God in the conviction of some and in the comforting many who heard me. In [299] this time I felt some joyful seasons of grace upon my soul; in which, though persecutions, in places, still raged against me, and some formidable difficulties were discovered, I felt a great share of that mind which was in Christ, and was willing to resign myself as the servant of the Lord to endure hardness and great tribulations for the sake of Jesus and the good of souls, and was enabled to trust in him to deliver me out of all my troubles, which I saw were many. In Grayson, I left my family with my brother M. and sister D. several days, while I preached in different places to attentive people and saw that some of them were desirous to obtain the one thing needful. Religious bigotry has never locked her distressful chains on the minds of this people, neither has religious prejudice predominated over them, as the most that professed religion see it to be their duty to exercise free fellowship with all the people of God.
In this time I had the great pleasure to see my wife's health recovered; but as I was contemplating this as a happy circumstance flowing from the mercies of God, I was met with a trial which again taught me the cruel deception of man, and that I should amidst the calm always look out for a storm, and be ready to meet those troubles which so constantly attended the journey of my life.
The note which I had endorsed, as mentioned in page 250 and ninth line from the bottom, after passing several transfers, and which I had understood, had long since been paid, was now presented to me for payment, which sum I immediately paid and lifted the note, knowing, at the same time, it would be a final loss to me and it was now also reduced to a certainty that the same man, for whom I had endorsed the note, had safely conveyed my property, in Carolina, away!! This taught me a good lesson, but it was at a very dear rate.
From thence I returned nearly on the same route preaching nearly every day, and sometimes twice till we arrived again at my father-in-law's, which was the 14th of November, having it in view, shortly to pass on to Philadelphia. In this journey we were absent about [300] seven weeks, I travelled about seven hundred miles and preached about forty times, met with some hard trials, and with many kind and friendly people, had some refreshing and glorious meetings, and some, where I saw but little success attend my labor. In the time of my companion's sickness I was much troubled, cast down and humbled, and perhaps too much transported at her recovery, when my troubles were renewed from another quarter, and my situation soon appeared, if possible, doubly gloomy; as I began to fear my way would be blocked up that I could get along no more for a time, yet I took comfort in the reflection that he who divided the Red Sea and made a way in the wilderness for his people to travel, was my friend and would enable me to do his will. By the time I returned to Frederick, the most of my troubles and trials seemed to be surmounted and almost forgotten, and the recollection of the success of truth which I had seen, and the supporting grace of God, with which I had met, were the comfort of my soul. But alas! arriving at my father-in-law's, I was soon informed that the man to whom I had given my note for one hundred dollars, mentioned in page 250, had sold the same to D. F. (of the neighborhood) and was gone to the state of Ohio! This was the greatest trial of the kind, that I had yet met with, as my circumstances were extremely unfavorable to meet it at the time, and as it would completely frustrate my intentions of going to Philadelphia, &c. To make the best of a bad situation I went to see the owner of the note and found that it was transferred to Col. J. G. who was very kind to me in that case, as he indulged the payment of it six months, before the expiration of which time he received the principal, and seemed to sympathise with me that I had to pay so much for nothing! I now shortly received a letter from a friend in Philadelphia, which expressed every thing pleasing and consolatory and silenced all my fears. I now felt the necessity of prayer, that I should have a heart to forgive, to forbear and to hope that God might have mercy on the man who had used me so unfeelingly vile. In a few days I saw my way open, and by the goodness of [301] God, favoring me, I went on again, spreading the Gospel of his kingdom.
On the 29th. I started with my family for the state of Maryland, and on the first of December we arrived at my friend D. Hess', in Washington County, by whose friendship, and by the kindness of my friend Reinhart, who lived near, we were cordially received among them. At friend R's. I left my family one month while I was mostly absent preaching the Gospel in the region round about. On Christmas day I attended a meeting of the River brethren (so called) in the neighborhood; I found them a friendly people and was admitted to preach among them, which seemed to be felt by many who heard. On the same day at candlelight, I attended at Keedy's meeting house, with the United brethren (so called). Some of the preachers manifested the spirit of Christ; and shewed me that friendship which distinguishes the disciples of Jesus. I was invited to preach to them. I did so, to the great joy of my own soul, and, I think, to the comfort of many others.
The following week my family was removed to the family of my dear friend, D. Hess, whose affection, attention, kindness and hospitable services, toward me, shall ever be remembered with the most grateful feelings, and no doubt shall be amply rewarded in the great day of God Almighty. As it must be said of him (according to the words of Christ) "I was a stranger and ye took me in."
January 1st, 1817. Wednesday at 11 o'clock I proclaimed the word of the Lord to a large, attentive audience at Farney's meeting house, where there were good impressions made on the minds of some, as great solemnity rested on their countenances. At candlelight, in Funkstown, I taught an attentive people, the free and boundless love of God exhibited to the world in the gift of his son. Some were deeply affected, and appeared to be convinced of their sins. Here were some friendly Methodists, with whom I felt sweet fellowship. On the next evening at candlelight I preached in the Methodist meeting house, to an attentive audience, in [302] Hagerstown. I found there were some objections, oppositions, and persecutions against me, yet the Lord prepared the way for the delivery of my message, which I fully believed would answer that purpose whereunto it was sent. On Friday, 3d, I went to Williamsport, commended to a Methodist preacher; did not find him so liberal as I have seen men, but he admitted me the priviledge of preaching in the meeting house. My subject (I suppose) came out very dry, the people were cold and dull, and, by appearance, we had a lean time. Here I saw the effect of partiality and what a great advantage, or disadvantage a name is to a man. The prospect I saw, and which I saw myself in, brought me nigher to God in prayer, as I saw nothing but the Holy Spirit, and a firm reliance upon God, would make me happy, useful to others, or bear me through the oppositions which crowded my way. O for a spirit of meekness, patience, and faithfulness. On next morning I took my leave of the place in the rain, and in a short time I became wet and cold. In the evening I called at the house of M's. and was kindly received; I found he was one of the profession called Albrights. He, with the most of his family, appeared to be zealously engaged in the salvation of their souls. At his house I preached to a people who were much affected, while my our soul enjoyed much of the presence of God.
Sunday 5th. In Hagerstown, I preached to an attentive people. Some felt the word. At candlelight I delivered my message to a large audience at N's. school house. The presence of the Lord overshadowed us. The entrance of the word gave light to the hearts of some, while they wept the tears of Godly sorrow. On the next morning I returned through Hagerstown, where I received a letter, sent me by a man who professed religion and lived in the place, which manifested too much of that persecuting spirit, which predominates in the hearts of many, who, at the same time, set themselves forth as Christians. About the conclusion of his Epistle he said, "but, at best, you are but a weak man, if not a FANATIC and a DECEIVER, I can hardly persuade myself that you are the latter; but a [303] weak man you certainly are." This did not alarm me, inasmuch as I had met with many, previous to him, as blind as he and more powerful to oppose. Thence I went on to H's. and found my family well. Thence at K's. meeting house, Stone meeting house, at the Widow S's. in Frederick COunty, in Middletown, Fredericktown, Middletown again, and again in K's. meeting house; thence into Virginia, at my father-in-laws, where I met large congregations, attentive to hear the word, while the Lord blessed it to the hearts of many. Thence to H's. and tarried one day with my family. Then went on again and continued travelling almost every day during the winter, until about the 27th of March, in different parts of Maryland. In this time, from the first of January to the 27th of March, I preached seventy four times, and travelled upwards of seven hundred miles, saw some gracious appearances of the work of God, met with a kind reception among many of the Methodists (a few instances excepted) where I was, by them, rejected; much persecuted and opposed by the bigots of different professions of whom I found many. Many were the little stories, evil and erroneous reports raised against me, to prevent the people from hearing me so freely as they did. It was said I had been a back-sliding Methodist, but this will be seen to be utterly groundless from the reading of this volume. Some said I intended to raise a new Society, which appeared to be alarming to many, notwithstanding every kind of ism, scism and contention were foreign in all my preaching and private conversation. And, I have all those who heard me my witnesses that I ever inculcated a spirit of love, union and fellowship among all societies and that I was a disturber of none. And though I was often hinted against in the pulpit, and frequently denounced elsewhere, yet I never, in the least, retaliated, or returned reviling for reviling, but suffered my persecutions as a christian, who expected to be found blameless in the last day; and felt a heart to pity, forgive and pray for those who professed religion and at the same time spake evil of, and opposed me, and was sorry that they did not manifest their [304] religion in a more becoming and christian manner and more like those who walk with God. At K's. meeting house, in Middletown, New Market, Poplar Springs, Baltimore and in some other places, my message of repentance to sinners, of love and union among professors had a good effect. By the appearance, some were convinced of the necessity of the one, and some of the necessity of the other. During this time, in many places, I saw the evidences of a false and pretended religion in the conduct of many, which ever causes its deceived and blinded votaries to oppose and withstand the real of God; as it never comes in their way. Some thought it improper to admit me in their meeting houses, as I belonged to no particular sect and party! But this cannot be a real objection, unless it is proven that a man cannot be a good man unless he is distinguished by the name of one of the societies of the day. And then an objection would arise, because he is not of our party. And in this time I saw the evidences of pure religion manifested in the conduct of many, whose hearts were touched with that love of God which can but unite with all its kindred; and loves without dissimulation or distinction of party; and had it not been for party rules, I thought, many would love more free and more extensive than they do. Some who first pretended to be friendly toward me, fled away and set their faces to oppose me, yet I found some, whom party could not sway, nor evil reports alarm, but who stood my constant and unbiased friends and continued to be lovers of the message I delivered.
March 17th, 1817, my wife brought forth a son--we called his name Lorenzo.
March 27th. I went on my way, directing my course for the Western Country. On the 30th I preached to a large congregation, at my father-in-law's, in Frederick County, Va. Thence in Stoverstown, Woodstock, New Market, Harrisonburg, Staunton, brother M's. from thence I went in a constant days rain, took up in a disagreeable cabin, where I found no bed, while my horse stood tied to a bush; on to Pattonsburg, Fincastle, Salem, Montgomery Court House, Newbern, S's. on [305] New river, Grayson court house, Poplar camp and at my brother John's. At some of these places I met large, attentive assemblies, and saw the signs of repentance on the countenances of many, and had cause to rejoice in God, who gave my word access to the hearts of sinners and to some of my opposers. From thence I went to H's. to Wythe court house, to -------- and Abington, and several other places on to Bean's station, in Tennessee, then took the Kentucky road; crossed Clinch mountain and Clinch river, lay all night on the bank, here commences a lonesome and extensive wilderness with here and there a small cabin on the road to take in travellers money. Passed Tazewell court house, Powel's river, Cumberland Gap. A dreary, rugged and desolate part of the world. A suitable residence only for the venturous hawk, or more lofty soaring eagle. O the sublimity of nature's works. O what careless confusion spreads along the distant wild. A thunder gust came up. O what tremendous rumbling in the mountain forest. I called in at a little hut, on Yellow Creek, a mighty hail came on. This was a fearful time, and a time, suitable with me, for adoration and praise! After the rain I went on and was overtaken by another gust; being wet and forlorn I called at the house of an old widow, who used me politely and hospitably for the night. She seemed to be a Zion traveller, having a hope of immortality, and was much comforted in our evening prayer. Next morning, in time of reckoning, she said I owed her nothing, but that there was a balance in my favor, for she had only fed my body on the things that perish, and I had fed her soul on the things eternal, that never fade, which she thought to be more valuable than what she had given me, and gave me half a dollar, which, she said, was my change, and pressed it on me! This is a consideration seldom thought of in such cases. I then went on my way in the rain and soon became wet, crossed Cumberland river, and continued wet all day, tarried all night at the laurel bridge, and was somewhat alarmed by some ruffians. Thence I went on another lonesome day and came into the old, rich and fertile settlements of [306] Kentucky, where I preached in different places. Coming to Lexington, through the instrumentality of preachers some of my former friends turned against me, and I found my access among the people, in some places where they spread their vile reports against me, extremely difficult; and in one of two places imposible! In this strife and opposition against me there was none more active nor sincere than the man mentioned in page 111, lower part, which was very different from the manner I treated him when he was a stranger in Virginia; but who can be relied on when the rage of the party is in view? As this opposition chief originated and existed among the New-Lights and had a serious and injurious tendency against my character I attended one of their meetings at Concord to investigate the charges alledged against me by the preachers. But it was there found that the charges were as frivolous as they were groundless, and that they all started, and were only known in report; nothing could be proven, but yet, some of the preachers said they believed the reports; and prohibited me from preaching with them. This was rough dealing. I now began to think again.--But let me not think too loud; however I thought if every preacher was rejected, who had an evil report against him, there would be but very few to open their mouths. I thought much more. Though my name was out as evil, yet the Lord made me a few friends; among whom were Dr. M. and Judge H. who freely opened their houses and their hearts to me, and treated me with that true affection which ever marks the christian character. I delivered my message twice in the neighborhood, while some, I saw, were prejudiced and some felt the word to the consolation of their hearts and some to the conviction of their sins.
Thursday, May 8th. As I was making my way for Limestone, in a large forest; the top of a large dead tree broke and fell so sudden that my creature, being much frighted, only had time to wheel round, and threw me a little distance from the ponderous limbs which would have otherwise crushed me to death. Though I was somewhat hurt by my fall, yet I felt unspeakably [307] thankful to God, whose eye was over me and his arm stretched out to save me from death when separated so far from my family. The solemnity of my thoughts on this occasion cannot be expressed. On the same day I came into Limestone, a town on the banks of the Ohio river. Thence into various parts of the state of Ohio, New Market, Hillsborough, Wilmington and in many other places, on to New Lancaster. In many places in the state, from the appearance of my garb, I was taken for a Shaking Quaker, which seemed to be an impediment in my way. But in some places I was kindly received and saw success attend the mission I proclaimed. I now saw there had been an unparalleled improvement in the state, since I passed through it before, both in point of population, and the useful arts. Many forests then are now cultivated farms. For cottages then, are now elegant houses of brick or frame. Where stood the lonesome woods now are seen the young but flourishing towns. The price of lands have increased accordingly and it is to be hoped that negro slavery, with its horrid cruelties, will never be admitted here lest the poor and laboring should find this their propitious home no more. From New Lancaster I went on and declared the counsel of God in several places to the people till I again arrived at my friend Reinhart's, (where my family was then living) in Maryland which was on the 29th of May 1817, I felt rejoiced and thankful to God that he had spared my family and friends and had preserved and delivered me out of many trials, dangers and persecutions and brought us to see each other again in health on the land of trouble and vicissitude.
In this journey I was absent about sixty days, travelled upwards of fourteen hundred miles and preached forty seven times. I expended forty seven dollars on food and ferriage, &c. and had two dollars and seventy five cents given me, suffered necessities, hard trials, and much persecution, sometimes dejected in my mind, while I thought of the deplorable state of deceived thousands who profess religion, and at the same time are rending, tearing and dividing the lambs of Christ, and while they render the name of religion an odium in the eyes of the world by [308] their railing and persecuting spirit, are treasuring up unto themselves wrath against the day of wrath, and revelation of the righteous judgment of God. I saw that many who professed religion, would steal and rob one another, or an innocent man, of their character which theft I consider a crime of the greatest magnitude in the sight of God, and the meanest in the sight of men, in as much as it reduces the robbed to the deepest disgrace and poverty and the robber becomes none the richer nor none the better. I was convinced, notwithstanding all the stratagems of hell and the machinations of the devil, to destroy the work of God, by what I saw and felt, that there were some whose hearts had not gone after satan, nor were blinded by the god of this world. I was comforted, because God was my judge, and though me condemned me, yet he would not. As a stranger to the world, despised and rejected by many of the sectarians, I wandered the deserts, sought the towns and cities to declare the revelation of God, free of prejudice, or partiality to any sect or name, and found that the Lord God was with me in all my journey both to comfort, preserve and save me. I now preached a few times to attentive assemblies in the neighborhood and saw appearances of divine impressions being made on the minds of many.
June 9th. I, with my family, took our leave of those dear, kind, and ever-to-be-remembered families of D. Hess and A. Reinhart, who freely entertained my family three months each, while I was declaring the gospel to them that were near and to them who were afar off, and were willing to wait for their reward till that time when every man shall receive according to his works. Upon such as those, are pronounced the blessings of the basket and the store, of going out and coming in, of lying down and rising up, and a promise by him who cannot lie, of eternal life. These were friends indeed who stood by me, when slander, like a flying fiery serpent, shot her poisonous venom round. My heart was grieved to part from them; but God, my everlasting friend, whose presence I could ever have, and whom I could leave with them, comforted me. On the 12th we arrived [309] safely at my father-in-law's. I held a few meetings to the neighborhood, to the comfort of some, and some were careless and apparently unconcerned.
Thursday, June 19th, I went on my way (leaving my family at my father-in-law's) directing my course for different parts of Maryland, and in the evening came into Battletown. Here I was a stranger in person, and in trying to get acquainted with some, I was treated insultingly. But little regard seems to be paid to religion or to those who fellow Jesus in this place. From this place I went on to Harper's Ferry on the Potomac. At 3 o'clock I preached to an attentive audience, many of whom were seriously affected. At candlelight I heard a parson preach at the same place. He seemed to have his discourse well at memory. On the next day at 8 o'clock I attended at the same place again. The audience was large, attentive and some much affected. Prejudice seemed to move away, and many melted into tears under divine impressions. After meeting many expressed their approbation and desired to hear me of this matter again. The people in general at this place appear to be of independent and liberal minds, and many who are not in bondage to and under the control of religious bigotry nor sectarian zeal. At 12 o'clock on the same day I attended at the same place, to see and hear the methodist's commence a quarterly meeting (so called.) A youth by the name of Furlong gave a discourse, and though young in years, he seemed to be well experience in religion, and carried in on with that propriety, consistency and holy zeal, which was truly profitable to my soul and to the congregation. The Lord prosper him, and ever give him to feel and practice that love and union and that holiness of truth which he was enabled to deliver to us. In the afternoon some of my friends gathered some money among themselves, and paid my tavern bill (for though there were many professors here, none of them took me home with them) and gave me an overplus of $2 50cts. The Lord bless them and give them a disciple's reward. I then went on to the Pleasant Valley and went into the [310] house of C. who received me and took care of me for the night.
Sunday 22d. At 10 o'clock, I met a large congregation at the Pleasant Valley meeting house. We had to take the woods where I taught them the sufferings of the Lord Jesus, &c. his present intercession and willingness to save sinners. The people did not appear to feel the word till near the close of the meeting, when many were constrained to weep. At 3 o'clock held meeting at my good friend Burkett's. The audience was large, attentive and solemn. The spirit of the Lord seemed to move upon the people. This was a convincing and weeping time. Some felt the presence of God to comfort and establish them in the truth. At candlelight I held meeting in the methodist meeting house, in Middletown, to an attentive audience. The Lord seems to be present and some appeared to be made happy and some wept because of their sins. There are some in this place whose minds are free, and whose souls wish not to be bound by the authority of man. Thence at Newmarket, Poplar Springs and New Lisbon, where the congregations were large, and some much affected. At those places I met with some kind and friendly people, both among the Methodists and Quakers, and some who belonged to no party, yet there were some who discoved their bigotry as they secretly opposed and persecuted me. Some, in those places see the necessity and propriety of Christian union, and that different professors should be more friendly with each other; and the object, they see, of my mission is to make them so. Thence to M's. (a methodist) to a few attentive people, who were solemnly affected under the word preached to them. Thence on the 27th to Baltimore. At candlelight in the Otterbine Church. I preached to a large assembly. The people were attentive, solemn and some seriously affected. The presence of God was precious to the souls of some, while others wept and appeared to be convinced of sin. On the 30th, I attended at the place, where I endeavored to shew, in the preence of a large audience, the necessity of Christian union, the impropriety of party spirit, the ruinous [311] consequences of divisions and distinct denominations amongst professors of the Christian religion, as Christ has prayed for them to be one, and expressly commanded them to be so. The people were strictly attentive and many seemed to feel the spirit of the Lord. On the two following days I continued in the city, and visited several families and we held that conversation which was profitable to the soul. The idea of Christian union, seems to be pleasing and very desirable to many in this place, who are praying for the delivery of Zion from the bondage of corruption, tyranny and partyism.
July 2nd, At candlelight I attended at the Otterbine Church again, while hundreds attentively heard the words of my mission. Great solemnity rested on the people. The Lord gave me more than common utterance to deliver my message, and attended his word with his divine power to the hearts of many. Some wept and cried aloud, and the effect was very glorious in the congregation. After preaching eight dollars were collected from the people, and presented to me, and an old friend, who was much affected, put five dollars in my hand, a liberality I seldom met with, but I always find the Lord prepares help for me in time of need. May the Lord reward the cheerful givers.
Friday, 4th. I took my leave of my friend U. Welsh and his family, with whom I had put up in the city, and whom I found to be very kind and hospitable to me. May they meet a faithful disciple's reward in the great day of retribution. In the evening I came to friend M's, at the Poplar Springs, and tarried with him for the night, while I was severely afflicted with the head ach. On the next evening I preached in New Lisbon. On Sunday, 6th, at 7 o'clock, I preached at Poplar Springs, at 12 in New Market, and at candlelight in Hiettstown, to large congregations, where the spirit of the Lord moved upon many, and some were convinced of their sins and constrained to weep. Thence to Clarksburg, to B's near New Market, to T's near Fredericktown, K's and F's meeting houses, Funkstown, Hagerstown, Sharpsburg, and from thence on to Virginia, and on the 17th July I arrived at my father-in-law's and found my family in [312] good health. In this journey I was absent 25 days, travelled about three hundred miles and preached twenty-nine times, saw great success, in some places, attend my labors. Some were convinced of their sins and began, with tears and prayers, to seek the salvation of their souls. In some places the prejudice of some professors was removed and overcame by the love of God. Met with some private controvertistsm who, I reckon, received but little satisfaction, as I make it a point to answer no unnecessary questions, nor to contend with any man about sentiments.
Sunday, 20th. At 12 o'clock I preached at my father-in-law's, on the death of my old friend R. S. The people were attentive and solemn. Here W. G. (a Methodist) attendeded; who, while I was speaking, was very busy in making notes on paper, and after I closed he rose, and as he could get no part to object to, he endeavored to explain and help me out with a part of my discourse. He not only made the subject darker, but confused the minds of many of the people. After he ceased. I reproved him, before the congregation, for his imprudence and his arrogance. On the 23rd I preached at 12 o'clock at brother Bar's (a Methodists) on Back creek, to an audience very attentive; some of whom were affected with the truth and revelation of the Gospel. At 4 o'clock I taught an attentive audience at brother T. Nesmith's. The people were solemn, and, I think, good and lasting impressions were made on the minds of some. On the next day, at 12 o'clock, I preached at brother H's. and at 4 at C's. The people were solemn, and some, I found, were enquiring the way toward Zion. Thence to L's. On Capon, at 12, and at 4 at the forks of Capon. This was a rainy day; I became wet; but few people attended. But some who came to hear the word, were strengthened and comforted. Thence I attended at Sandy Ridge and Parks Valley. Thence to T's. school house. The people in those places were serious, and some of their hearts softened under the divine impressions made upon them by hearing the words of my message.
Sunday, 27th. I met a large audience at Sandy [313] Ridge meeting house, where I endeavored to declare the love of God and the name of Jesus, without controversy to the people. As we were situated in the woods, the multitude, the solemnity and attention, which rested on them, convinced me surely that God was in the place. Many wept and appeared to be convinced of their sins. Some were comforted by the presence of the Great God. In the evening some of the neighbors came together, where I tarried and preached "The Lord is a strong hold in the day of trouble and a present help in time of need," to them. Some were comforted by Christ Jesus. Surely this was a memorable day and night to me, as the blessings of heaven were great to my soul.
"O that my soul could stay
In such a frame as this; She'd sit and sing herself away To everlasting bliss." |
I have now again visited those people who have dissented from sects and parties, have refused sectarian names and principles and have taken the word of the Lord for their standard. There is a preacher among them whose name is JOSEPH NESMITH. He has travelled with me the week past and helped me to officiate at my meetings. He is about twenty six years of age, with a small family. He is a young man possessing good natural abilities and some excellent qualifications for a preacher of the Gospel. His genius is quick, rapid, luminous and of a poetical turn. His ideas of the Gospel are correct and comprehensive. His language plain and nervous, his metaphors and comparisons numerous and well chosen. His discourses pleasing and instructive. He belongs to no sect or party, but merely considers himself a christian or a disciple of Christ; takes the word of God for his rule, loves all the faithful of God, and preaches love, friendship and union to all professions; repentance and faith in Christ to sinners. In several places among these hills he has been useful to the people. By him some have been convinced of [314] sin, turned from their evil and are now walking the way of life. Others have seen the dangerous nature of human systems, invented to bind the souls of men, been convinced of the evil consequences of party names, party rules and of a party spirit, and have been brought to the true light of the Gospel and to the perfect law of liberty where Christ is all and in all, through his instrumentality. He is an Ordained Elder and preacher of the Gospel according to the New Testament. If he had fully opportunity, he bids fair to become extensively useful to the church of God and to the souls of men. He is under great exercise of mind to devote all his time to travelling and preaching the word of God, but fortune not having smiled upon him, his necessitous situation renders it extremely difficult to obey the impressions of his mind. Surely the people for whom he has labored much in the Gospel should assist him and not let him preach for nothing and find himself. I hope the people who know him will consider the utility of his genius and the excellence of his talents and feel it their ambition and duty to be kind and assist him, so that he may be enabled to improve them to the good of thousands. I trust in God he may open and prepare the way for him to go forth and declare his word without controversy to them that are afar off and to them that are near; and as he goes forth may he generally meet a reception among the people, to whom he may prove a blessing in turning them from sin and from the errors of a false religion.
Monday, 28th. I arrived at my father-in-law's, and found my family well. Thanks and praise to God for the preservation of life and the blessings of health. I was absent seven days, travelled about one hundred miles, preached thirteen times, suffered some necessity, saw and felt some joyful seasons of the love of God.
Wednesday, 30th. I started for the Western Country, accompanied by D. Hess, of Maryland: I went through different parts of the state of Ohio, as far back as Mad River, and the Great Miami; and returned to my family on the 27th of August. In this journey I saw and experience many occurrences worthy a place [315] in this volume; but as I have already far exceeded the bounds first contemplated, I have of necessity to omit them, as I also have and must some in other journeys, reserving them, perhaps, for an insertion hereafter if need be. I held two meetings in the neighborhood, one of which was a very solemn time, good impressions were made on the minds of some, though some I had to reprove, by remaining sometime silent, for their behaviour.
Thursday, September 4th. I went directing my course up the country. Preached in Stoverstown, at S. H's. at the Narrow-Passage, at R's. on Shenandoah river, at H's, school house, Mount Pleasant, twice in New Market, and twice on Mill Creek, in Rockingham County. At these places I saw signs of repentance and deep contrition rest on the minds of some, while some were comforted with the sweet sound of Gospel truth. At this last place some having seen (as they say) the errors and inconsistencies of the church they belonged to as members, have laid them all aside with the party name by which they were distinguished, for the perfect law of liberty, the New Testament, and are now united to serve the Lord's Christ, alone under the authority of the King of Kings. From thence I turned my course, and, in the rains, went on and preached again at New Market and Mount Pleasant. Thence to J. Stever's, H. Bordain's school house, H's. on the river, B's. Stoverstown, where I met attentive congregations, and some at several of these places, appeared to be pungently convicted of their sins, while some, at other places, were careless and unaffected. On the 20th. I arrived at my family and all were well. Thank God for his great care over us.
In this journey I was absent sixteen days, travelled one hundred and forty miles, preached eighteen times, met with some persecution, saw some melting seasons of divine grace upon the people, met with some trials and temptations and had grace given to deliver me. Felt great consolation and happiness in my mind while engaged in calling sinners to repentance, and warning professors against bigotry and party spirit: and seeing [316] success attend my labors I was enabled to count all my sufferings joy, as they have the promise of a great reward.
Wednesday, 24th. I started, with my wife and two children, and went on into Shenandoah County, in the neighborhood where I formerly lived. About dark my wife and the children were tossed out of the gig among the rocks, but, I was thankful none of them were killed nor crippled. On the next day I left them at H. W's. and went on, tarried all night with J. S. and was kindly used. Thence I cross the mountains and came into the town of Luray, being recommended to Mr. --------. I found him very cool toward me--He received me not. Here I was a stranger and had no money; to go to the Inn I could not. A little distance from town I went to the house of J. R. He received and used me kindly.
On the 26th. At candlelight I preached in the town to an attentive audience. Some were solemn, and, I think, seriously affected. On the next evening I preached at the Furnace to an attentive assembly, where there were good impressions made on the minds of some. After meeting I went home with Mr. Abbott, who, with several who boarded with him, used me with civility and great kindness.
Sunday, 28th. At 12 o'clock in Luray I attended in conjunction with a Baptist preacher. He promised me, in the pulpit, there should be no controversy nor dispute and insisted on my preaching first. I did so. He then rose up, gave out his text and in a few minutes began to maul away upon me, and discovered a virulent disposition in descending to personal remarks. Sometimes he would teach upon his text, sometimes upon me and sometimes upon what I had said. What few scattered sketches of doctrine he delivered, made up such a mess-moilly that for my life I could not understand him. Though this seemed to please his brethren to the bone, yet it highly displeased many others. The Lord deliver me from such quarrelsome people. This taught me a good lesson, (and I wish others to improve upon it, if need be) to confide in pulpit promises no more when they are made by certain ------. I abode the night and [317] the next day with C. Foror. Here I found a kind family, who discover no party spirit but a zeal on the Lord's side. On the 30th I went to friend B's. where I met with T. Kennerly, a methodist preacher. He proposed some interrogations concerning the erroneous doctrine he had heard I held. I answered him, as he said, to his satisfaction and he seemed to be convinced that those reports were not true. At candlelight we repaired to the Furnace to meeting. He preached. He then invited me to speak. I did so. Our witness agreed. This I thought again, looked like christians. The people were solemn, and some felt good impressions. The Lord was in the place. My soul was happy. The preacher and myself abode all night at B's. and had an agreeable interview together. This man discovers a good talent and a considerable degree of affability and christian friendship; and possessing fine, and genuine feelings of his own, he knows how to regard and have respect for other men's feelings. May the Lord continue him in the same spirit and make him useful to the souls of men.
Thursday, October 2nd. At candlelight I preached at Hawksbill meeting house; the people were attentive, but I saw little appearance of good being done. The preacher who opposed me last Sabbath, was at this place and opposed me again. When he brought his subject to a climax, he said, he considered I committed blasphemy, because I offered salvation free to all. Now, thinks I to myself, he that has no respect for another man's feelings has no feelings of his own.
I abode all night with a man who used me kind, but told me, he did not like my doctrine. I told him I did not like his, and asked him who was the most to blame. From thence on the 3rd. at candlelight in Luray to a large congregation, some of whom felt the word and wept under it. The people about here are of free, liberal and independent minds, (only a few who are bound up in the narrow limits of --------) who are not to be fettered with the chains of religious bigotry, nor bound by party spirit, but love religion to be presented to them on that fair and general plan which may embrace all and [318] unite all together in one heart and one mind. I met with a kind reception and friendship by this people; only the Baptists, some of whom opposed and spake evil of me. On the next evening, at the Furnace, I preached to a large congregation; where some appeared to be convinced of sin, and others were comforted. Here is a small society of Methodists who were friendly, and manifested much of the spirit of Christ to me.
Sunday, 5th. I spake to a large congregation at the Big Spring meeting house, thence at O's. W's. on South river. In the fort, thence at the Narrow passage, at brother H's. at Bordain's school house, from thence with my wife to my father-in-law's on the 12th. In this journey I was absent eighteen days, travelled one hundred and thirty miles, preached seventeen times, saw evidences of divine power attend the words of my mission in some places, saw evidences of religious bigotry and party zeal in the conduct of some, at which I felt sorry, when I saw the deceived situation which many souls had run into, by the profession of religion, when their hearts are at the same time, as strange to the influence of the holy spirit as their conduct is different from the example given by Jesus Christ. Met with many professors of religion, and, with but few who walked as children of the light. I preached once at my father-in-law's, the prospect was dull.
Monday, October 20th. 1817. I rented a house in Kernstown and situated my family there, where they yet remain. On the 29th and 30th I taught the people at brother T. Nesmith's and at Gonotown, on Back Creek, where the people were attentive and some solemnly affected.
November 7th. 8th. and 9th. I held three days meeting at Sandy Ridge, where I was met by Joseph Nesmith and two others preachers who helped me to declare the same cause of salvation, to the souls of men, and of liberty and christian union among God's people. This meeting was attended with the presence of God. On Sabbath at candlelight, I administered the Lord's supper and washing of feet to the disciples of Jesus. At that time there were nineteen united in the bonds of love and [319] sweet fellowship and were found obedient to the humble scene. At this meeting any who had a desire, had perfect liberty to speak forth the wonderful works of God; and several testified that Jesus had power on earth to forgive sins and exhorted the congregation. During the meeting the people were well behaved, attentive and very solemn, and such manifest tokens of Gospel liberty, equality and fellowship, discovered, that I think, many were convinced, that the Lord's way is the right way. From thence I returned to my family in Kernstown, where I have been confined the most of my time till now in consequence of having to examine the proof sheet of this volumes, only I have made some short excursions and preached in several places not far distant. The occurrences and reflections which have taken place with me in this time, must be omitted, for the present, for the want of room.
I now come to the close of my present travels which present twenty six years and some months of my life, nearly eleven of which, I have faithfully endeavored to devote to the service of the great God. My life to the present, as the reader may see, has been chequered with disadvantages, trials, crosses, losses, persecutions and difficulties. It has, I confess, been marked with some imperfection, and had I the same path to travel again with my present experience, I might make some safer steps, but the time that is past is gone from me forever! But this much I can say before the Lord my God, that in all the course of my profession of religion I have acted and believed according to knowledge and experience, and wherein I have erred, it has been for the lack of the one or the other, or both, and for such errors the Lord has and will forever forgive me. In this volume I have mentioned all the particulars of my life to the present both for and against myself--the reader after going through it, is at full liberty to say of its merit, or of its author, what he thinks proper, as he (the author) is not to be judged, for what others say, and has learned to regard but little what is said of him, but, to try to act right. Some of my readers may say I ought not to mention the opposition I have met with from men [320] and preachers of different professions, inasmuch as they may say, it looks bad. But to those who think so, I only observe, that it is the action and not the telling of the action that looks bad, and if people will do right I will not tell that they do wrong. In giving a history of my life to the present I have had of necessity to give an account of the conduct of societies and individuals toward me, and as I have mentioned the unrighteous dealings of some I have not failed to speak of and give full credit for their kindness and evidences of religion exercised toward me.
In preparing this volume for publication I have been much exercised in prayer to the Almighty God, to bless it to the conviction and comfort of its readers. And though it may not meet the approbation of some whose interest it is to cry out against every thing but what comes from their own mint or party, yet I have faith to believe it will prove a blessing to many; and to this end I send it out, and let it take rough and smooth as its author has to do. This book may be read by many who have, or who never may see my face, who would wish to know to what society this man belongs? To this, he would only answer that he professes to be a Pilgrim and stranger on the earth, a Christian, belonging to the church of the first born whose names are written in Heaven, and that he is striving to save his soul by denying ungodliness and worldly lusts and living soberly, righteously and godly in this present world, and lives in hopes to share a part in the first resurrection, where he will meet all the faithful of God to whatsoever society they may now belong, and join in one united number, and commence the same song of eternal and unceasing praise to him who has washed us in his own blood and has made us kings, priests and sons, to God, and we shall reign with him for ever and ever. [321]
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Joseph Thomas The Life of the Pilgrim (1817) |